Why We Have Toxic Self Talk – Gday Gorgeous Podcast Episode 2 with Amanda Jane Clarkson

Why We Have Toxic Self Talk – Gday Gorgeous Podcast Episode 2 with Amanda Jane Clarkson

(upbeat music) – G’day, gorgeous podcast listener. This is episode two. And the title of this week’s podcast is “Why We have Self-Toxic Talk Going On “and Where in the World
Does it Come From?” So, before we jump into this podcast, which is gonna be packed
with useful information that you can jot down and implement into your life immediately, make sure have your companion journal with you at all times. I’m always writing things in my journal, because writing creates
brand new neuropathways, which helps us create a new life by design that we’re looking for, or create a wonderful
new chapter of our life. And of course, as I always
say, a nice cup of tea and be present because this podcast, as I said a moment ago, is gonna be packed with information and stories that relate. This podcast is real, it’s raw, and it is relatable for everyday women. And as I said, you’re
listening to G’day Gorgeous and this is the podcast that empowers women for life. And this is the place for women who want more from their life and who dare to live their dreams. The podcast is brought to
you by gdaygorgeous.com, and hosted by me, Amanda Jane Clarkson. So, G’day Gorgeous shows
women how to break free from their limiting beliefs,
reach their full potential, and step into a world packed
full of joy and abundance, and new possibility beginning
right where you are. And I’ve gotta ask, who
doesn’t want a world of possibility, abundance,
more peace, more harmony, just so that when you wake in the morning, you feel good about your life instead of feeling anxious and panicked of what’s gonna happen. So, who is Amanda Jane? Well, if you haven’t yet met me, I am a bestselling author. I’m an inspirational
speaker around the world and a wealth and lifestyle coach to women inside my community. And I’ve also just recently created and written my brand new book “From Frustrated to Fabulous,” for women, which is an inspirational guide for women who dare to live their dreams. And this book was written from my heart to all the women out there who
crave for more in their life and they know that they
deserve it at a deep level. So what I truly love doing,
though, more importantly, is helping women, women
from all over the world, everyday woman, go from feeling
frustrated in their life in one of the seven areas, to feeling fabulous and successful because I believe each and
every one of you out there deserve to be successful
and feel fulfilled in all the areas of your life. Now these are the seven areas
that I’m gonna be covering as the show rolls on in time. Love, your health, relationships, money, which I love to talk
about, and not many people do, your vocation, which is
your job, your career, and your business, happiness, and the most important, personal growth. So thinking about those seven
areas of your life right now, which area, jot down in your journal or your piece of paper, your notepad, whatever you’ve got in front of you there, which of those seven areas of your life would you say that you’re
feeling mostly frustrated in at the moment? You feel empty. You’ve got self-toxic talk going on. You don’t feel good enough, you’re not quite where you hoped you’d be. And I understand that
because, being a woman myself, I’ve got a long history where I’ve had so many different jobs, started 14 different businesses. I understand the journey and what it’s like to
wake up in the morning and not love my life, not feel fulfilled, not feel energetic, not feel
like getting out of bed. You know, those days when you just wanna pull the doona up over your face and pretend the day hasn’t started. I totally get it. So what are we talking about
this week on the podcast? We’re gonna be talking about, as I said, toxic self-talk, where does it come from, why do we all have it going on? And I think we’d all
agree that toxic self-talk is debilitating, it can
really hold you back in time. It can stop you from going out there, finding that love of your life that you may be hoping to
attract into your life. It really stops us from having
fulfilling relationships, finding that right job or the career, or holding us back from
starting a business that would be amazing for us to start if that’s what our purpose was, or if that’s what we really wanted to do. Money is a big problem. Why do 95% of people die broke? Where is all the money, and why do only 5% of people in the world hold onto the most money? I mean, who doesn’t want it, right? But why haven’t we all got some? Well, gorgeous, that goes back to our toxic self-talk, the way we feel about ourselves. Maybe our upbringing, which
I’m gonna be talking about in a moment, and what
we’re gonna be doing is, today talking about love, which is one of the areas that
I really love to talk about. And that goes along with my
LIVE NOW Freedom Formula, which I teach to my ladies
inside my own community that helps them go from
living a life of frustration to a fabulous life filled
with happiness and success. So just to give you a
little bit of a background, the toxic-self talk. Now I hope you’ve got
your pen, girlfriend, and you’re writing notes because I don’t know a single person, in fact, I don’t believe there’s
a single person out there who does not have self toxic talk going on in their life, in some form or another. Now, I think about me. I was one of the worst out there. And I’m sure you will relate to this story in some form or another. So as I’m sharing a
little bit about my story, put yourself in my shoes and ask yourself, oh my God, did I feel like that then? What was my story? I came from a, I went to a school of all
girls back in the day. I was born in Tasmania,
one of five children, and I went to a girls Catholic school. And who wouldn’t agree that sometimes, girls can be really quite bitchy? and I certainly was not popular. I wasn’t pretty enough,
I was really skinny because I was a runner
when I was a young kid. And I really struggled through school. I mean, I don’t know if
you can relate to this. You might be one of those
fabulous smart ladies or guys, but for me, I really struggled in school. In fact, I failed every subject in school except religion and art. And the only reason I’m sure
I passed those two subjects was that my dad’s sister
was one of the nuns that taught at the Catholic
private school that I attended, and my dad helped me with
every art class that I had. My dad helped me create
what I needed to create, and I’m sure that’s the only reason I passed those two subjects. So I really felt dumb at school. And in fact, some of my
teachers told me that I was dumb and that I wouldn’t amount to much. Back in those days, the
old school reports come in. Amanda needs to focus more. Amanda needs to pay attention. Amanda struggles putting
sentences together. Amanda struggles with this and that, and I remember my mom used
to read out my school reports and I would be sitting there feeling less than dirt. I mean, have you ever felt like that where someone is talking about you to you. It might be a school report or, cast your mind back to
when you went to school, have you ever had that
experience, and I remember always feeling less than. I always felt dowdy. I always felt dumb. And because of that environment, and thinking back to your environment, depending on who your parents were, where you were born,
the schools you went to, the peers around you, your
schoolteachers, your friends, your family, the environment,
the country you were born in, the town you were born in,
what you used to see on TV, this is all where our
self-talk comes from. This is our, what we call conditioning. And I realized when I cast my mind back that so many of these thoughts that I had were probably not even my thoughts. They were ingrained in my mind from other people, from schoolteachers. So what happened then,
I literally just wanted to get out of home,
being one of five kids, I would have to do so
many different chores and help Mom bring up the other kids ’cause they were younger than me. I’m the middle of five. And I had a pretty tough upbringing, which I’m gonna go into in other podcasts. It’s not what I wanna talk about today. But I just wanted to get out of home. And I don’t know what
your upbringing was like, and it wasn’t bad or anything like that. We had a lot of love in our family, but it was really tough. In my book “From Frustrated
to Fabulous,” which I wrote, I talk about my mother in my book, and how as a child, my mom had a quick, a really fast hand, a
quick hand, I would say. And we’d get slapped around
and back in the ’70s, ’cause I’m in my 50s now,
but back in the ’70s, that was the way it was. In Tasmania, growing up in a normal town, Mom and Dad, they had five kids. They’re only in their 30s themselves, and if we were out of line, babe, we would get whacked,
and I mean whacked hard. And from a young kid,
I was always told that if you want anything,
Amanda, you get out there and you work hard. And I remember thinking, that’s not really my
idea of a fabulous life. And I remember thinking that right back when I was about 15 years of age when everybody was hearing the same thing. So cast your mind back. What did you hear growing up? What were you told by your
parents, your teachers, your peers, your aunties and uncles, and things you saw on TV, and the people that you
surrounded yourself with, religious ideas or in the
environment that you grew up in? And I remember thinking, well, that’s not really my idea of happiness. I don’t really wanna find
one guy, get married, and in fact, I didn’t
even wanna have children. The thought of it back then was, oh my God, I haven’t even grown up myself. And so, I really wanted
to move out of home. And so at just 16 years of age, I literally packed up my VW Beetle. It was a 1969 little baby blue VW Beetle. You might remember them. And I packed everything
I owned in that Beetle, and I moved out of home and I went to stay with another family. I rented a little room, a little flatette, it was called back in
those days, in the ’80s underneath the house. And I just said to myself and my mother, “I have my own dreams. “I don’t wanna fit into
what you want me to be.” Now I understand that’s
a really hard thing for some people to say to their parents, but I was one of these kids that, I was refusing to live by conformity. I was kind of like a
rebel, I guess you’d say, but not in a bad way. But I just said, “I just
cannot allow my life “to be like everybody else’s.” I just didn’t wanna be like that. And so after moving out of home, I had a lot of toxic talk going on. I didn’t feel good about myself. From there, I literally wandered from job to job to job. Have you ever had that feeling of, trying to fit into society, yet, at a deep level, you
don’t know what’s wrong, but you just don’t feel that
everything is as it should be. I didn’t have a clue about listening to my own inner guidance. I didn’t have a clue
about even thinking about what I wanted to do with my life, because I wasn’t taught to think. I was taught to follow the herd. Follow the crowd. Don’t rock the boat, Amanda. Do what everybody else is doing. Have you ever been like that? Have you ever heard of that? Is that how you were brought up? Perhaps you were brought up in a completely different
environment than me. However, I still know at a deep level that you would, like myself
and everybody else out there, have this self-toxic talk going on. And so, 33 jobs later, I literally changed jobs every six months. And I really just didn’t
like any one of them. And in fact, right up until
the age when I was 25, I was running three different jobs because when I was a child, I was also told by my parents, money doesn’t grow on trees, Amanda, or what do you think I am, made of money? My parents would always say to me, well, if you want something,
you gotta work hard. You gotta get up and work
your fingers to the bone and earn a good day’s wage and buy the stuff that you want. We’re not going to give it to you. And so, these are all the
things going on in my mind. And so I would think, oh my God, everyone would laugh at me because I’d had three
different jobs at once. I would do almost anything to make money. I would babysit, I would
help my mom in her business, ’cause she did the books
for my dad’s business. She also had a kindergarten
that I’d work there part time. You name it, I did it. I literally was working
my fingers to the bone. I was picking fruit and
selling it to the neighbors. The great thing about Tasmania is, we have a lot of beautiful
vegetables and fruit. And so, every waking moment, I was trying to earn
money, trying to fit in, because I just didn’t know any different. And I was never really that happy, and people would laugh at me and they’d poke fun at me. And that’s where the
self-toxic talk started. I really believe I felt disempowered, I didn’t feel attractive. I was told I had to work really hard, I was told I wouldn’t amount to much, and so it was coming from
all different angles. And I don’t think people
realized, back then, I am talking about the ’70s. I don’t think people realized back then, what effect it can really
have on a young person. And that is where our
conditioning comes from. And so, as you carry
that through your life, these are the things,
these are the thoughts that you have about yourself. And I remember growing up into my 20s, I still had this disempowering, these disempowering beliefs about myself. I’d look in the mirror and
I wouldn’t like the person that was staring back at me. I’d go for a job interview, and I was already saying to myself, “You’re so dumb, you’ll
never get this job. “You’d be at the lowest pay rung.” Does any of this resonate with you? Have you had these emotions? Have you had these
feelings about yourself, thinking back when you were
a younger girl yourself or a younger guy? And that was the outcome
that I always got. The way I was thinking ended
up becoming my reality. But I didn’t understand how to change it. I just thought that was gonna be me for the rest of my life, and that was not a good looking picture. In my mind, I’m thinking, “Is
this all there is to life? “Is this all I’m gonna
amount to, nothing much? “Just like my schoolteachers
said I would be.” And then what happened is, when I was 30 years of age, no, 27 years of age, I beg your pardon, I moved from Tasmania up to Queensland because my parents had moved up here, brought my younger brother and my sister. They came up to Queensland to make a better life for themselves. And so I followed them. And so, from moving
straight to Queensland, I had a different job again. The old pattern of jumping
from job to job to job, nothing was satisfying, didn’t
like any one of my jobs, and then one day, I decided that, getting a job just wasn’t for me. I wanted to be in control of my life. I wanted to start a business. And so I started 14 different businesses from then to who I am now,
I’m in my 50s now. (laughs) But going back, I just wanna
share a lesson with you. And this is what I want you to take away from this podcast today. A very, very important lesson that literally turned my life of toxic self-talk, my
life of feeling frustrated, my life of feeling
unworthy, not good enough, not pretty enough, not intelligent enough to land the job that I wanted, to be anything else
but on the lowest rung. I decided to become a personal trainer. And I enrolled in college, the Australian Institute of Fitness. This is back in the year 1999. And back in those days,
I was really clueless about self-empowerment. In fact, to be truthful,
I didn’t even know what the word meant. I don’t know if you know a lot about it or if and when you were introduced to it. However, I remember
sitting in class one day studying to become a personal trainer. I was always very fit, I
was always very healthy, and that’s one of the wonderful
things about my childhood is that I came from a background
of health and fitness. Running was the sport that I did. And sitting in this classroom one day and I was determined not
to fail every subject. That had been my history. And I was sitting at
the front of the class, I was always at the front of the class with my eyes glued to the teacher, who was fabulous in my eyes. She seemed so confident. She was lovely, she just
had this way about her, and she just oozed authenticity, confidence,
she knew her stuff, and in my heart, I wanted to be her. I mean, have you ever sat there and watched someone full of confidence and just wished that was you, wished that you could be that person that seemed to have it all worked out, seemed to have life in
the palm of her hands? And I remember looking up at
her and she was talking about something to do with personal training, and then she shared this message with me, which was the first epiphany of my life that literally flipped it 360 degrees. I was gonna say 180, but no, it was 360. And here’s the message. I’d love you to write it down. She said, “Amanda, life does
not get better by chance. “Life gets better by change. “And if you don’t like who you are, “you don’t like what life
is for you right now, “only you have the power to change it. “And change begins with you. “You are your best asset. “You have the power within you “to change your circumstances. “Stop looking on the
outside of other people, “towards other people. “Stop hoping and wishing and
praying things were different. “For your life to be
different, it begins with you, “thinking different,
learning to act different, “learning to be more than you are now. “In other words, changing that self-talk, “changing your inner beliefs “that are disempowering to
new, empowering beliefs.” Well, I couldn’t believe my ears. And I don’t know if
you’ve heard this before, and you may relate to me
in some way, shape, or form with a similar story that you’ve had. I literally couldn’t believe it, and I was staring at her,
and tears welled in my eyes and started streaming down my face. Because I honestly knew in that moment that my life would never
ever be the same again. I had no idea that I
could control my destiny. I had no idea that I could empower myself, my mental state, my emotional state, my physical well-being, and become the woman that I wanted to be, to have the life that I truly wanted. And it was just such a massive, it had such a massive impact for me. I can remember like it was yesterday. And in that moment, I made a decision, just in a heartbeat,
it was just like that, that I would never, ever allow myself to be the person that I had been in that past 30 years. I was actually 33 years of age by then, and I made a commitment in that moment that I was gonna change my thinking, become empowered, change my beliefs, and learn about myself. And so from there, it was this
journey of self-discovery, a journey of empowerment, and discovering my own
gifts, my own talents, and who I wanted to be. And I could tell in that moment that life would never be the same again. And I just felt lighter. From this podcast, I would
love for you to write down three things that you have just learnt from me sharing this short
story about my life so far, and I’ve got so much to share with you, of how perhaps you can
turn your life around. What is your self-toxic talk going on? Are you empowered or do
you feel disempowered? Where do you feel, I guess,
out of control in your life? Which of the seven areas,
remember, the seven areas are your love life, and I always
say love begins with self. You can’t expect or attract
love from another human being until you learn to love who you are. You see, the thing that I’ve learnt over my 30 years, I guess, of, how am I now? I’m in my 50s, I’m 53 today. Well, not today, it’s not
my birthday, but I’m 53. So 23 years of studying
personal empowerment, I have learnt to accept myself, love who I am as a person, and what I’ve discovered is, we don’t need fixing. You don’t need fixing. What you need is just better understanding about who you are. And so I invite you to come along on this journey of
self-discovery, self-love, and it begins with this second podcast. And if you stick with
me, every single week, I am going to share with you potent and very powerful
empowering lessons and stories, my stories
and other people’s stories. I’m gonna be interviewing
incredibly successful people that are my mentors. I have invested hundreds
of thousands of dollars over the past 23 years
to become who I am today, to have the life that I always wanted. And I think the outcome
for G’day Gorgeous podcast is to help you create your life by design, a life that you absolutely can’t wait to get up and live every single day. Attract love into your life,
have amazing relationships, have incredible health and well-being. If you wanna attract money
and have wealth in your life, I’ll help you how to do that. It’s all about how you think,
who you are as a person. Have more happiness. However, it comes down to
personal empowerment and growth, and it begins today, one step at a time, one day at a time. And as they say, gorgeous,
Rome wasn’t built in a day. And this doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It can be little tiny bite sizes. And so that’s what I’d
love you to think about until I meet you again
on our next podcast, same time next week. And think about your life right now. And think about all of
the wonderful things that you are already amazing at. Remember, this is not about fixing you. It’s just helping you go
from feeling frustrated to feeling fabulous and successful in all seven areas of your life, because you deserve it, gorgeous. So I wanna say thank you for joining me on my G’day Gorgeous podcast. The show notes are below, and
if you wanna find out more, gdaygorgeous.com is the website. I’m Amanda Jane Clarkson. And if you haven’t already
got a copy of my book, “From Frustrated to Fabulous,” which I wrote from my heart to your heart, this book is full of stories, inspiration, amazing and potent life success lessons, which are all formed around
my LIVE NOW Freedom Formula, which over this podcast journey together, I am gonna go into depth. But hopefully today,
and I’m sure you would, take two or three little tips and ideas and possibilities because I want you to feel hopeful. I want you to feel enthusiastic and inspired by your life, to create that life by design that I know you are going to live and love every single day. So gorgeous, again, I just wanna say thanks so much for listening in to the G’day Gorgeous podcast, and if you loved this episode and know somebody else who would also love to go from feeling frustrated to fabulous and successful in any and all
of the seven areas of life. Remember, those seven
areas are love, health, relationships, money,
which I love to talk about and we all want more of, but
don’t seem to have enough of, your vocation, your job,
career or business, that is, happiness, and the most
important, personal growth. Then please let them know to subscribe to the G’day Gorgeous podcast. It would absolutely mean the world to me if you would help me
create what I love to call the butterfly effect,
by sharing this message and my mission to as many
women around the world as we can together. So please, if you liked what you heard and you found value in
this particular lesson, I would be forever grateful if you would take just
30 seconds of your time and leave me a five-star review and share this with your friends. As I said, I will be forever appreciative, and so will your friends. Okay, gorgeous, until
next time, take care. With love and gratitude, as always, I will see you on the next podcast. Bye for now! (upbeat music)

2 thoughts on “Why We Have Toxic Self Talk – Gday Gorgeous Podcast Episode 2 with Amanda Jane Clarkson

  1. Another fantastic episode Amanda, thank you so much!! I can relate to the toxic self talk, I'm becoming more aware of these thoughts each and every day, especially controlling mind chatter. Love the message of it begins with me, I can change it!!

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