Uncharted Cherries: Episode 1 – Hookups & Fuck/Marry/Kill

Uncharted Cherries: Episode 1 – Hookups & Fuck/Marry/Kill


Desire: Hey! Eden: Hey! I’m Eden I’m Desire And this is Uncharted Cherries!!! We’re gonna be talking about sex related topics as really under-qualified people. Yeah, welcome to my bedroom. And today we’re gonna get right into it. All right. So today we’re talking about hookups. (softly) Yep. So… um. Do you want to start with any stories you might have? Ummm Okay, actually, yeah, I do have a story. (laughs) So in high school I hooked up with this one guy and, he was younger than me. Only by a year, but He literally was just kissing me like *blahhhh*, it was like all tongue It was SO gross and like I hadn’t kissed many people before him So I was just like, oh it’s normal and then I didn’t realize till afterwards that it was just wrong. Eden: Yeah, that’s like… Desire: Like…no. Eden: No. Desire: No. Eden: Sis. Tip number one, guys: Go easy on the tongue. Yeah, not too much. Right? Do you have any stories? No, but… Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not looking at you in any kind of way, just… (laughs) I don’t believe you Okay. Whatever. Wait, but what do you mean when you say hook up? Like just kissing, right, like making out? Oh. Well, that’s complicated. How so? Well, see, when people say “hook up”, you’re not sure if it, like, means Like hoo-like kissing, making out, or sex.
Desire (interrupting): Yeah, Yeah. Because it’s, like, a vague term. And I get that it’s supposed to be like that…
Desire: Yeah, it’s true. Yeah. But, like, if-if you’re trying to make people think you only made out, like, that’s not the term to use, honey. Desire: Yeah, exactly.
Eden: Like, you know, I’m gonna think you’re fucking. I’m sorry
Desire (at same time): Yeah! So many people. Yeah, especially here in college. Like everyone’s like “oh, so-and-so hooked up” and you’re like, oh no big deal. Eden: Yeah.
Desire: But then it’s like oh they had sex and I’m like “Oh!” That’s intense. Yeah, I mean Different level… but okay. Or, like, you’re like… like, they say, oh “we hooked up” and my first thoughts, like: “oh they had sex.”
Desire: Yeah! “No, we just kissed.” Desire: Yeah, they’re like “Nooo!! Oh my god, what? You think ME? No.”
Eden: “No!”
Desire: “I would never have sex!” “0% chance. With him? No.” All right, would you want to do some fuck/marry/kill now? YES! Oh god. Yes, okay. Yes. That game’s fun. Okay. Do you want to start? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, so fuck/marry/kill. um, I Feel bad if they see this video, haha. I know they won’t these are my kings Shawn Mendes Oh Tom Holland, oh and we need a nice nice third to round out the Can I say oh sure go ahead Lucy Lou is what I’m thinking, okay. Well don’t Lucy woo That’s kind of rude not gonna lie. Sorry. I’m n-not. Oh my god. This is a hard one. No No tough chop snip snip why did you give such a hard one to start? Okay. Um Fuck Shawn Mendes Mary Tom Holland. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right Now I’m gonna give you a hypothetical one because I guess and there’s a guy with seven eyes. Woo. Um, Guy who has like a bunch of like rainbow lollipop sticking out of his shoulders you yeah and Someone who’s ten feet tall tall guys Ten feet it’s a little too much for me. I feel like anybody that tall is just ugly so the minute pass Wait. Oh, sorry, I mean ask me who’s hotter rocks. Oh, is he hot? It’s up to you It’s all with the personality comes out mean honestly. Yeah, and we kill the ten feet tall guy Mm-hmm. Seven eyes is kind of fucking scary Wait a minute, but then his love get your beautiful face Right, maybe I’d marry him. Mm-hmm because he probably has a good personality. Yeah and maybe out No, here’s the logistics though, you can’t fuck a 10-foot guy In my tiny twin size bed. I don’t think that’s gonna Happen it’s not gonna happen. So then tell me fine. I’ll kill him but I don’t want to fuck the guy with the lollipops Okay, fine. We’ll fuck them. It’s fine. Okay, there’s a lot of sucking going on in that. Oh but No, cuz then what happens if you eat a lollipop then there’s just a hole in his zone on yeah, yeah I think hypothetically would grow back. Uh Otherwise then who death in a horse Yeah, right. That makes sense You can it’s probably like free food, so you’d never have to pay so we really never get hungry. That’s kind of romantic knocking Okay. Yeah, well always provide for you. Yeah when your man provides My hands look like this service like this needs holding a bunch of lollipops. Yeah So make a decision. Okay, so we’re fuckin lollipop guy were carrying eyes guy. And then we’re killing the 10-foot tall guy, John Yeah, that’s it. Yeah. All right more celebrities. Okay, um look very kill Jon Snow, I don’t remember his real-life name Kit Harington. Yeah, um Jaden Smith, but when he was in Karate Kid, okay. Well Oh Jaden oh, yeah, Jaden. Oh and then so we have Ken Harrington Jane Smith or Bill Hader but Yeah, okay. I cannot marry you Bill Hader. You’re not gonna lie hop off bill. Are you seeing this? She’s 18 And then fuck it Harrington Yeah, and then children Smith sorry watching the hosting to me Stan Obviously, obviously I didn’t just kill you whatever it is. Okay, um, Die who? only wears Crocs All the time okay, but also on his hands so like ah, yeah Okay, right. Right, right. All right, right. Um guy who is extremely afraid of the Sun Okay, so he’s just a really afraid of the Sun And a Guy who’s part ostrich? What does that entail? He’s very feathery kill It When you wear the Crocs if we’re fucking Yeah, he wears the cocks all the time kid all the time, right? So he has the tan Yeah, he’s cropped him. Oh my god. Okay croc town. I mean he’s dedicated. So maybe we’ll marry him All right, Mary. He’ll never stop. I love it clunk The guy who’s afraid of the Sun because we can just do it in the dark. Hmm period Yeah. All right, Hugh Jackman. Mm-hmm. Zac Efron Corbin Bleu Marry Zac Efron, okay, because obviously the fuck Cordon Bleu. Yes Sorry new Jackman. I like actually thinking the same thing. I really love Hugh Jackman, but it’s like People like he’s so fine. And I’m like, he looks like a father. Yeah. He looks like he was like a dad Yeah, not like a daddy. Yeah, that’s like a dad. Yeah Yes, there we go. Yeah, okay, go ahead. Um a Guy who Whose eyeballs are popping out of his head and into his nostril So he his eyes and his nostrils, but all hopping out of his head Um a guy who is basically just Like the abominable snowman abominable Obama I can’t say that word Oh Bahman a Bauman’s double vote abominable a Snowman okay, um, but he’s not he looks really similar to him, but he’s not him. Okay, so he’s big and white Yeah, sure, yeah, but like Not in the race way, oh he’s snowman he’s a snowman but yeah Do you think there’s snowman has hot? I don’t mean like yeah not gonna lie Um And then guy do everything he touch turns to bronze not gold bronze bronze, so you’ll be bronze if the accident we I’m killing guy with the eyes coming out in his nose is that’s fucking terrifying I’m marrying the abominable snowman and I’ll just fuck the guy who turned a big bronze cuz then I could just be a statue or Some shit, right? Yeah, yeah I’m not sure that was kind of a weird one. I Feel weird. It’s funny. I don’t know how you come up these it’s interesting. I can’t come up with them. My mind was like Mark, you know, thank you Yes, is there anything else we wanted to talk back to? hookups or something I mean There’s hookup culture on campus that we didn’t talk about a lot Canvases that if you wanted to talk about that, I think that’s what we need to same topic. Yeah That’s late. So just quick little like everyone just like people Will talk about it in passing or go go like really deep into it. Like just crazy gossip like It’s happening left to right like hookups or just it’s just all the time Yeah, their party is happening every weekend or at least like everyone’s yeah I feel like I hear about one every single day like someone’s like oh Did you hear they hooked up like and it’s almost like sometimes it’s like weird pairings. You’re like really wow yeah, that happens a lot and I feel like in college wide fine beard pairings is because like everyone’s horny man, everyone forney and also it’s like if you’re nice, but if somebody is just nice to me, I’m like shit that mom Saw right. It’s like we’re not realized to me Um yeah, but I also know as long as it can be like It can be weird. Mm-hmm, but I do think You it’s either it’s either One or the other like it’s either really fucking awkward or really fucking cool and you’re like perfectly fine after yeah exactly. Yeah Yeah don’t have anyone I won’t I just know, you know, some of my friends who like all have gone through different leg thing Yeah, that’s just interesting So you’re adding people I did not anyone. Yes, I do anything. Anyway, I Did not say anyone’s busy if they want take it as it easy. It’ll be fine Like yes, if you think it’s about you I’m not anything about yourself If you lose about you mean it’s about you come give me a hug. Love yourself. Yes Okay, I thought about anyone No thought I swear Okay Anyway, uh Do we want to talk about help me look up so is that kind of boring its kind of boring? I think there’s just one ground rule. Yeah, just respect communication Kind of inside. Yes We’ll talk about that later. Wait, I see you then Keep watching keep watching stay tuned guy Ashley. Like if you don’t keep watching you’re never gonna find out these important topics That’s that you will be ignorant for life. Yeah, and then you’ll be a real a burden Yeah, very good Yeah messy yeah, so Stay tuned for next week. Yeah leave in the comments Like if you have any questions, or if you have like anything you wants to talk about topics. Let us know Yeah, and if you live on campus if you like know who we are Say hi. And you want to be in the in the video? Yes, no. Yes. No, we’re kind of backed up for a while Oh, yeah, we have a lot of people on the show like so many People oh my God, we’re so popular. We haven’t even released an episode. Haha okay, so we’ll see you guys next week on Uncharted cherries

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