TORONTO TALES – Poutine and Duck Rescue (Simon and Martina Podcast Episode 6)

TORONTO TALES – Poutine and Duck Rescue (Simon and Martina Podcast Episode 6)


Simon: Hey, it’s Simon Martina: and this is Martina Simon: And we’re broadcasting in Pickering, Ontario
Martina: Pickery—Oh no I wasn’t ready Simon: I don’t know what adjectives I could use to describe this Simon: The nostalginest…
Martina: The GTA of Toronto Simon: Also heads up The audio’s gonna be profoundly worse than usual. Simon: We don’t have our mics with us
Martina: Sorry, guys. We’re on vacation now. We’re visiting our families. This is our annual check in to see how our families are doing. We spent a few days in Etobicoke Martina: Yes we did.
Simon: With Martina’s family Simon: and now we’re here in Pickering with my family and we’re gonna record our podcast out here. Martina: And we were like, “Let’s make sure we pack our microphones”. So what we did was we forget to pack our microphone. Simon: We brought them to Canada, but we left them in Etobicoke. Simon: So now we’re here.
Martina:If that’s possi—i know— Simon: So we’re just gonna be relying on the shotgun mic. Martina: So those of you watching, we are sitting on Simon’s balcony. Simon: Yes Martina: Overlooking the excellentness of Pickering. Simon: We can see all the new developments that have happened Simon: We can see all the new developments that have happened What can you see— describe for people that aren’t Martina: uh watching on Youtube
Simon: I see— let me tell you Simon: Major Oaks used to just end at Brock row But now they’ve extended and they have a whole bunch of new houses over there Martina: Mhm They got a few cicadas here. Not as many as what we’re used to. Martina: I believe that’s one, just A cicada Martina: I believe that’s one, just A cicada
Simon: A cicada Martina: That should make this podcast really enjoyable Simon: And yeah, we just got into Pickering yesterday So I don’t know much that more. All I know is that I’m looking at these houses like Wow look at that, that’s new That’s new, That’s new Simon: There’s a lot of development happening here.
Martina: Yeah I don’t know about your home country, it just seems like Canada grows Martina: really fast
Simon: So slow Martina: No
Simon: No, but it used to grow really slow Like remember our first like—when we were in Korea, whenever we’d visit Canada we would be like “Wow Simon: they’re still working on the 401.”
Martina: Yeah that’s true.. Martina: We—We didn’t see changes
Simon: Yeah I guess what it is is that we’ve been gone for like a decade now
Simon: Yeah and when you think about projects that people will lay out on the roads They’ll be like it’s estimated proposal latest to be finished in two years. And two years feels like two years But if we were gone for ten Martina: Look at how many different projects.
Simon: So a lot of things—But It feels like every time I come back to Canada, there’s new stuff being built Martina: Yeah,
Simon: Now! Like within these past few years has really gone like hardcore with development Martina: Well, in one way, Canada and middle parts of America and like Sweden and Norway they kind of remind me of each other in a certain sense because We all have vast amounts of wilderness Simon: Right Martina: and we don’t really know what to do with it Simon: I mean that’s a ridiculous tree. Like do you look—look at that fucking thing right there. Like do you look—look at that fucking thing right there.
Martina: It’s a huge tree Simon: That’s a huge tree.
Martina: Yeah Simon: I mean that shouldn’t be in a residential area
Martina: It’s hundred of year—it’s hundreds of years old Martina: Like this tree— But what I’m getting at is—
Simon: that’s bigger than a house! I’m not trying to get over the fact that we have a big tree. I think that’s cool I love that Canada and you know other parts have that kind of pushed togetherness of nature
Simon: Uh huh What I’m trying to say is that I think it’s wild that we will drive along and just see in the middle of Pickering
Simon: Yeah little woods that are thick
Simon: Yeah That just haven’t been touched
Simon: Yep and on one day we’ll come back here and there’ll be like 400 townhouses there.
Simon: Yep We have that space, but we’ve been living in Asia for so long like Korea and Japan do not have that space When something is newly built the whole thing is like—
Simon: Yeah Martina: it just goes like this way Simon: Also, this fence was never blue. My mom just made this fence blue It never used to be blue, so I’m just looking at all these new things she painted that hook thing blue as well why would you do that, Mom? Love you, Mom Don’t know why you did that… Don’t know why you did that…
Martina: I think it’s nice, I like the color blue Simon: Okay, so we have a few stories I want to tell you Martina: Yeah, we’re gonna start with the story uh leaving Japan to come to Canada Simon: So when we’re leaving, Japan Martina was very confused when this was happening.
Martina: Yeah Simon: We were in, uh, the lounge and Martina was making uh a drink and she asked me for some lemons So I went over to the fridge to grab some lemons because that’s where the sliced lemons were and when I opened the fridge an older businessman Uh, he was Asian. I don’t know his nationality. He was Asian and he walks in like in a full suit
Martina: Mhm he looks pretty tired and he reaches over, he grabs a glass and he grabs a pitcher of orange stuff and fills it halfway and then he grabs a pitcher of milk and then he fills the rest of it and he grabs that and he dawders off
Martina: and we—we don’t know which—what the orange was like—
Simon: So Simon: Martina had no idea
Martina: orange juice?? mango juice? because she was focusing on making a cocktail
Martina: Yeah So I bring over the lemon and then when we’re about to leave I’m like don’t ask any questions, just follow my lead So I grab a glass. I fill it half with orange in half with milk
Martina: Yeah and she’s like what the hell are you doing? Martina: He’s like sus sus don’t ask questions
Simon: So I explain the story to her I said look, some guy just came in here and he did it. It must be some kind of like—
Martina: Ancient Chinese secret That’s what you were thinking! Martina: Just admit it, Simon! Simon: Yes, it must have been some kind of ancient secret Martina: You were like *gasp* ancient chinese secret
Simon: And then Martina was like no that doesn’t make any sense. Simon: It turns out that our seat was right beside his so when we sat then Simon: we saw him chugging away this thing like okay
Martina: Typing and drinking I could just like be like Oh that’s strange or I could go and actually try it and I decided you know what this is worth trying. Martina: Yeah. You sure did Simon: So I took it I realized it’s not orange juice because orange juice might curdle with milk. Martina: Yeah, orange juice will curdle with milk. We thought maybe it was mango juice like mango and milk
Simon: Yeah makes sense, that’s kind of like a dessert thing, right?
Simon: Right Simon: but it was carrot juice So it’s carrot juice and milk. So I took a swig of it. I’m like this tastes like barium. If you ever had like any like stomach x-rays and you have to like drink like this like solution that’s like Martina: I’ve done that so many times Martina: It’s chalky and thick and milky
Simon: It’s just chalky and weird Simon: and it doesn’t taste like anything enjoyable at all
Martina: Medicine-y And it was gross and Martina is like there’s no way that this is actually— and we looked over and the guy was just happily away pounding it down
Martina: So I had a theory which was Martina: So I had a theory which was maybe that guy’s from like a different time zone and he’s exhausted or he’s drunk and he made this drink
Simon: Yeah and he doesn’t even know what he’s drinking
Simon: Because— Martina: And Simon blindly followed him
Simon: Mhm yeah thinking that it’s some ancient Chinese secret. And now other people saw Simon do that and they go, well, this guy must know something I don’t know. Martina: And now he’s created this trend
Simon: So we started this whole fad Just by this one random guy who’s been doing this— Just by this one random guy who’s been doing this—
Martina: Or was he like the fifth random guy Simon: Who knows Martina: He followed someone before him
Simon: The point is, I googled it afterwards this must be like some—like carrot juice and milk. Couldn’t find any answer. Either this guy made it up or it’s been in his family forever Or he was just really drunk and he just started this whole chain reaction of carrot juice. I dare you right now.
Martina: So what we—we need to know from you guys Simon: Try it if you have carrot juice at home, if not, juice it
Martina: Yes, of course! If you don’t have a juicer then just squeeze the carrot meticulously til you get out all the juice and
Martina: All that carrot juice hanging around the house mix it with some milk and tell me why? Cuz why anyone do this? Why? Be more constructive
Martina: The weird part was— Simon: Why Martina: It wasn’t that bad. It just Both: Wasn’t good. Martina: So…
Simon: Carrot juice on its own is okay, milk on its own is great Put them together and you’re just—you don’t have anything that’s good. Martina: Okay, so leave us a comment, please
Simon: Yes Martina: a youtube comment below or if you’re ??
Simon: Carrot juice and milk Simon: Please explain this
Martina: Or let us know if it’s part of your culture because if it is that will be delightful Martina had a theory. She says, you know what this tastes like it tastes like cantaloupe juice Right? And I’m like it’s true that does kinda taste like cantaloupe juice but you know
Martina: Yeah what else tastes like cantaloupe juice? Juiced cantaloupes! If you want cantaloupe juice, you juice a cantaloupe. You don’t mix carrots and milk and try to get cantaloupe juice Martina: Plus *silly accent* cantaloupe juu
Simon: *same accent* CANTALOUPE Simon: *silly canadian accent* ish mah Canadian accent *something* cantaloupe juice.. Martina: Plus it’s not like you go Oh, I’m so used to having cantaloupe juice every morning.
Simon: Right I’ve never even heard of someone juicing at cantaloupe
Simon: No It’s not like some hankering.
Simon: It doesn’t make any sense. They only have carrot and milk. Well, I guess I’ll— Simon: So that’s weird story number one that we had. Weird story number two: Martina saved a duck. Martina: I saved a duck, guys Simon: You saved a duck! I wasn’t there.
Martina: I saved a duck I was busy. I was working out.
Martina: I dropped Simon off at the gym and then I was driving across the street to park the car and go into the mall
Simon: Right and when I was waiting at the light, something just horrific unfolded in front of me. A huge black duck – – it wasn’t a goose and it wasn’t a normal duck. He was almost like a crane duck or something,
Simon: Right it was flying and I look – I was looking up at it, of course and it just- Simon: Stopped looking at the road ahhh Martina: Ahhh it’s a duckie *clapping* Ah ha ha ha woahhhh Martina: I was at a red light
Simon: Yeah. Oh yeah, there ya go I was at a red light Simon: Yes and it was pouring rain and this duck was flying and it looked like he got caught in some strange gust of wind because he went backwards and hit a wire.
Simon: All right like across the neck. Like a *choking*
Simon: Yeah And he went uhhhhhh And he fell onto the road.
Simon: Yeah Martina: And I was like oh my god that duck
Simon: It’s a duck! He just fell into the road and I’m like surely everyone will see a duck. Well, this jerk BALLS turns the corner I’m still at the red and he’s going left and drives. I see him slow down, because he realizes there’s a duck theN HE JUST RUNS OVER THE DUCK! Simon: He just runs over a duck Martina: He’s like well I couldn’t save it and he just went over the duck and I’m sitting in the car screaming screaming
Simon: Mortified Martina: It’s like this intersection and I’m like *screeches*
Simon: You’re expecting just like a big pillow to explode of like feathers Martina: I hate watching animals get hit by cars It feels so helpless because it’s like they’re in our world, like he got tangled in a wire like Simon: in our world Martina: in our world Like ah made me so sad. Anyhow, I saw that he was run over Right in the middle. So, he wasn’t hit by a tire.
Simon: Yeah Being hit by tire you’re dead, you’re squished
Simon: You’re squished, yes squished Martina: But he – kind of went under it. So I thought, “He’s probably in shock. He probably booped his little duck head.” Simon: Yeah But luckily he’s surrounded by feathers.
Simon: Right. So I thought to myself –
Simon: He’s got cushioning Yes. Don’t be one of those people that stops for animals and then dies and creates a car chain reaction. Where 90 humans die because a girl had to go save a duck. So I slowed down towards the duck.
Simon: So she does it anyways! Well hang on! I looked around and I saw there’s no one behind me. Like it’s pretty empty. It’s Pickering in a rainstorm Simon: Yeah. So I put the car in hazard mode I open up the door and I leave it open so that it looks weird to people that there’s a car with a door ajar And I run around, and no one’s there because I was afraid the car would get rear-ended.
Simon: Yeah yeah And then kill me and the duck.
Simon: Yeah. So I got up, and I came over and the duck was just sitting there like with his wings down and his head was up And he was just looking around like –
Simon: What? Wha happened But I didn’t see any blood
Simon: Yeah And so I said, “Okay little sweet guy, hang on a second.” And I just went behind him and I scooped him up and he was THIS BIG like a football – bigger than a football
Simon: Bigger than a football He was like a, a big round soft black puffy…SO SOFT
Simon: Yeah So soft duck Simon: Did you take any feathers at least to remember him by like? You know *pop* You know me, I’ll just take this one. His navigation feather. No!
Simon: Oh no! Um, I picked him up and I looked across the street I still had to run across the road, and then a woman turned the corner in her minivan and she was like, “That woman’s saving a duck.”
Simon: She’s saving a duck! So she stopped her car and created like a little barrier so that no one could get past and hurt me. And then I put the duck down in the grass, near a bush.
Simon: Yeah And I gave him a little pet. And I was like, “You’ll be okay,” and then I waved thank you to the woman and I ran back into my car. And I was pumped full of adrenaline
Simon: Ahhhhhhh Simon: There’s so much adrenaline even now And this was me, this was me [breathing heavily] Saved the duck Saved the duck. And I was so stressed and for the record on the way back home to pick up Simon I saw the duck and he was standing up straight and he had his feathers like this and he was kind of looking around So he survived. Maybe he didn’t, maybe he had a little concussion
Simon: Could be A little duck concussion.
Simon: Whole point is – I said to Martina, “Hey, you actually touched a duck.” I’ve never touched a duck in my life, apart from you, and I have two ducks on my arm but I’ve never actually touched a duck and this is you touching a duck. And then when I told my father he’s like, [heavy European accent] “Yes, what is problem? I do – I touch duck also.”
Martina: [laughs]
Simon: Like when did you touch a duck? “When I was kid we had ducks,” that my father’s – like they had ducks and chickens and then they like killed the ducks and they ate the ducks. And he’s like, “Duck blood soup is very delicious soup.” And I – I don’t want to talk about duck well we’re talking about saving ducks, not eating them. He’s like, “No, we talk about touching ducks.” Martina: And that was how we had the story of talking about touching ducks Simon: So Martina has touched a duck before. I’ve never – Have you kind viewer, kind listener? Have you ever touched duck?
Martina: Have you touched a duck? Please let us know how many ducks you have touched. I want to know the answer to this question. I also have to say that I was like really proud of myself for not behaving like a crazed kpop fan Simon: Yes Because I was holding my first duck and I could have like just gently…
Simon: You could have kissed it …snuggled it against my face
Simon: Yeah, you could have pulled out some of its feathers Or ruffled his little chest fur Or like patted his head.
Simon: Yeah
But instead I was like, “He’s scared and I won’t.” And I just cupped him lovingly like a pine cone. Simon: When we were at our motel Martina: Wait, wanna get some water?
Simon: Nah I’m good. Martina: Cause we’re gonna edit this part
Simon: Sure. Or are we gonna edit this part? Martina: Mm, maybe. I really am so thirsty. Simon: Let me get you some water? Martina: You get me some water.
Simon: Get you some water. I’ll update everybody on our motel. So Simon went to the lobby to pick up some food, and when he was there, this kid was Scottish do you think? Simon: I’m not sure. I don’t know his accent, but he was on the stairs.
Martina: Welsh or Scottish? He was maybe like eight or nine years old, and then he shouted at me. At first, I thought he was shouting to his friends, and then I realized, now that I think about it he was actually shouting at me and he said, [Irish/Scottish/?? accent] “Well, yer a small one, ain’t ye? What’s life like up there?” Simon: And, who is this kid to shout this at me? I’m not used to kids shouting anything at me. I just walked to my car giggling to myself. I should have said something, but then I realized that I shouldn’t have because he sounds – He definitely seems like a smartass kid.
Martina: Oh, yeah
That’ll be just waiting, to like, aggravate an adult Martina: I think he was Irish because, ready for some Irish profiling?
Simon: [Irish accent] “Yer a small one, ain’t ye?” I’m trying to understand because “ye” goes into like the Scottish mode. If it was Welsh, Simon would have just mumbled with marbles in his mouth.
Simon: I would’ve. So, that would’ve been a problem. But I feel like it’s an Irish person.
Simon: There you go Yeah, but the story that I wanted to tell was what you went out to get was poutine. Poutine! Simon: This is your second poutine now.
Martina: A poutinerie. No it’s not. Simon: Yes it is.
Martina: It is my second poutine. Simon: You know, why? Okay, so here we need an answer from you guys, because Martina got very scared in this situation. We were awake at 3:00 a.m. because of jetlag.
Martina: Yeah. 1:00 a.m. We were so exhausted. Super hungry. We decided to go to a 24-hour place called Zed’s?
Martina: Yep And it was Greek food, and they had a lot of souvlaki(?) they have poutine there as well. We ordered a small poutine and as we were waiting there, there’s a girl that was like beside us. She just came back from the club.
Martina: Everyone there was like club gear
Everyone there was in club gear. Martina: We’re in like pajamas and hoodies. And like, her poutine came up and they put down this plate and it was just a MASSIVE plate of fries. Martina: Like okay, so…How big – what kind of a thing can you use to describe this to people
Simon: Probably like a basketball width. Martina: Ours was basketball. Her’s was like a…what size is this? Simon: Borsketball.
Martina: A Borsketball. A schergerber? Simon: It was really, it was really big.
Martina: It was big. And piled. Simon: Okay, so it’s bigger than my head. Maybe like a little bit less than my shoulder width.
Martina: A small watermelon? Simon: Yeah, you can say small watermelon, radius of the plate.
Martina: Yeah. Simon: And it was just stacked with fries and it was just so much and I said, “Oh my god, that’s so many fries!” Right?
Martina: Yeah. Simon: And Martina was like, “You shut up, Simon.”
Martina: In Japanese and Korean, I’m saying, yelling at him. Simon: “You shut your dumb face, right now.”
Martina: And he kept saying, “Wow, that’s MASSIVE. That’s such a HUGE amount.” Simon: And Martina says, “The person beside us who ordered it could have taken this as, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Martina: Yup. Simon: And she was worried that I was gonna get into a fight with somebody but I was just like, “No, it’s just a big plate – can’t I say that that’s a big plate of fries?” But Martina is like, “You be careful because -.”
Martina: Here’s – here’s what he could have said. “I’m so hungry.” Followed by anything you want now. “Oh my god, what a huge plate of fries blah blah blah.” Because then, you’re commiserating with each other She’d be like, “Oh my god totally.” But you never went dancing or clubbing your whole life.
Simon: No. Martina: No. Jackie, and I used to go to the Phoenix
Simon: Right. Martina: like every Saturday, which is a rock club downtown, and then we’d come home and get fries or burgers or wherever and depending on the neighborhood you’re in… Simon: Yes
Martina: When you were in a neighborhood that’s dangerous and believe me – that was a dangerous neighborhood we were in.
Simon: Okay.I don’t know. Martina: Especially during all the shooting that’s happening in Toronto lately.
Simon: Right. Martina: Ok, I am like, “Do not EVEN –
Simon: Give anyone.
Martina: – say something that, like, stepping on someone’s shoes. Right? If you’re like, “Oh my god, that’s so much.” She can be like, “Are you calling me fat? Like, did you think this was just for me?” Simon: Nah! That’s just a huge plate of fries. Martina: “Oh really, it’s huge is it? So you’re saying that I can eat all this – I must be fat?” Simon: “No, I’m just saying I’ve never seen that many fries before.”
Martina: “Hey Bobby, this guy’s calling me fat.” Simon: “I’m not calling you fat! I didn’t even know who had it!”
Martina: And then he comes up and then Simon knifes – And then it says, “Game Over.” Simon: It could have just been anybody’s fries.
Martina: Except it doesn’t say, “Game Over,” because Martina would’ve punched him in the spine, taken the knife from his hand.
Simon: So, I’m not – Martina: and would’ve yelled, “Don’t you touch my duck!” And then I’d scoop him up like a pine cone. Simon: That’d be the 2nd duck that you saved in 1 week.
Martina: And then I’d run to the car.
Simon: You’re just a duck saver. So, the question is: Is Martina right? Is it okay if I said, “Hey, that’s a whole lot of fries or was Martina’s danger-
Martina: And remember. Was Martina’s danger-dar correct? Simon: Yes.
Martina: This question isn’t: It’s 11:00 a.m. You’re at a clean establishment. Simon: It’s 3:00 a.m.
Martina: It’s 3:00 a.m. Everyone’s dressed like they came from a really really really really hot Club. Simon: Yes.
Martina: It must have been super hot.
Simon: Because it’s just- Martina: The lack of clothing from everybody was…
Simon: The lack of clothing. I’m expecting there was barely any…
Martina: I mean bikinis. People were in bikini tops. Simon: Right? Just so little clothing.
Martina: I only think that this is shocking for me because: A) I’m old and B) I went to rock clubs, and rock clubs had a totally different scene of people wearing t-shirts like this. You wore shorts, you could wear a tight dress, you could get gothy. But you couldn’t pick anyone up, because you can’t dance or grind with somebody if you’re listening to “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” You’re like, “LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.” And you’re like jumping up and down. Simon: That’s right girl, let them bodies hit the FLOOR. That’s right. You got it.
Martina: [singing] So excited, bodies hit the floor- [normal voice] Every single song took Simon [??] for him to like uh…
Simon: It’s perfect, you got it. Martina: Okay, you can’t. So for me I’m always like, those are the people that picked fights with me when I went out for food afterwards.
Simon: Right. It was the different crowd. The rockers didn’t pick on each other- Simon: So, you’ve had experiences with people pic3king fights
Martina: Yes I’ve had experiences with people being pissed off. Simon: I’ve never had this kind of experience, so I thought I had a very innocent question. I’m just a sweet guy. I’m just so innocent, how could anyone want to pick a fight with me? Except for that little Irish kid.
Martina: I don’t think he was picking a fight with you. Simon: Wasn’t he though?
Martina: No. I saw him later on and he was getting laid into by the hotel staff woman, because he asked for a dollar change but he didn’t say please.
Simon: Great.
Martina: And I was like, “Good for you Miss Lady.” I was really happy seeing her be like, “Oh, did you want me to exchange this? I believe… I’m missing a phrase. Simon: What’s the – what’s the word-
Martina: What’s that word? And then he’s like, “Oh, please.”
Simon: -that gets you things? Martina: She’s like, “One more time.”
Simon: Let me hear it in a full sentence, you little Irish SHIT. She didn’t say that last part.
Martina: No, she didn’t. Oh my gosh. I realized that the entire point of that story
Simon: Yes. Martina: Uh, was that we had two poutines.
Simon: The whole point is that we had two poutines. This is your second poutine. Martina: And I blanked out on one of them. So what I wanted to tell you guys, what is poutine?
Simon: The first one you forgot. Yes. Martina: What the heck is poutine, and the reason why I feel like I’ve only had one poutine was because that first poutine was not poutine.
Simon: That was a BS poutine. Martina: I told you.
Simon: Yes. Martina: So, I’ll explain what a poutine is, umm…No, I’m gonna do a quiz first. I have a question for you guys.
Simon: Question is? Martina: My theory is that I don’t think, umm… Simon: The world
Martina: the world knows anything about Canada because we have things that people don’t get. So for example, if I was say to you, “Japan. Sushi.” You-you may never have tried it, but you’ll know, well what’s sushi. Simon: Rice and raw fish.
Martina: Rice and raw fish maybe, right? I could say to you, “Mexican food,” and you’ve maybe never had it. Simon: Yeah. Martina: But if you think of Mexico and Mexico food, you know what they look like. Simon: Salsa, chips, and tacos.
Martina: Avocado, cheese maybe? I say, “American hamburger,” you pic-cowboys
Simon: You know hamburgers. Martina: I can name you all these terms. Germany. You can have an idea of like, what these things look like and then I say, “Ah yes, poutine.” And people go, “Yes, poutine, that Canadian food that’s, that’s um… Simon: BUT
Martina: They don’t know what poutine is. Simon: But they know that it’s fries and gravy. Most people know. Martina: Maybe you don’t know. Simon: If you’ve heard of poutine before and you never had it, do you know what poutine is? Martina: And fries and gravy is actually [buzzer noise] incorrect. Simon: No sure, but that’s what people think. It’s fries and gravy WITH cheese curds.
Martina: Cheese CURDS. Simon: Not shredded cheese.
Martina: No! Simon: Not mozzarella cheese.It has to be cheese CURD. Martina: Okay, you wanna know what a cheese curd is? This is a Québécois like, food originally. Which is why it’s so OG Canadian. When you’re in the process of making cheese, there’s this whole stage called like, blocking or where you actually like, shape it into things. This is the beginning stage when all the curds are separating, and you cut through it with a knife, and you make it really small. And then you bring it together as like separated little tiny nubbles of fresh cheese. And there’s actually a whole technique to flavoring it to become more like a white cheddar, and they stretch it, and they pull it so many times, kind of like a really fresh mozzarella ball has that wrapping. You do that with this as well. And then, that goes on top of fresh cut thick fries. Simon: I like how you describe the process of making this cheese
Martina: Yes. Simon: As if it’s differentiated from anybody else’s idea of how any other cheese is made. Nobody really has any understanding of cheese. Like I don’t know boiled milk, put some seasoning, CHEESE. I don’t think most people know- Martina: I made cheese, remember?
Simon: Sure, YOU did. But most people are just like, “I don’t know, it’s orange.” And then you just put it on. It’s better when it’s melted. That’s all you know how it tastes delicious. I think very few people know the process of making cheese Martina: Did I just ruin everybody’s podcast?
Simon: And so for you to say, “Oh, no, it’s different because for this cheese you gotta do like strings, you gotta do nubbles.” Nobody has that kind of working knowledge of cheese. Martina: Hey, don’t forget to rate us in the iTunes store, five stars. I love talking about cheese. Simon: So you learned how to make a specific kind cheese, but you probably don’t have any other idea of other cheeses. Martina: Okay.
Simon: It’s ok, because I don’t either. I don’t know like the right way to make Parmesan cheese. Martina: Let’s continue our Canadian um… celebration.
Simon: Yes, your poutine. Explain the poutine. Martina: So they’re called curds, and they’re fresh, which means they’ll rot. Which is why we rarely ever find poutine in other parts of the world. Simon: Right. Martina: Even we go to Canadian pubs in like, Seoul or in Tokyo.
Simon: They don’t have curds. Martina: They’re like “poutine,” and they just put shredded mozzarella and I’m like, “You shut your whore mouth!” and I want to like slap it off the table, it makes me so mad. So, fresh cut thick fries like, finger-finger width. None of these stringy little like, mushed into potatoes. No. Thick cut fries with the skins on. Fry that up. Generous sprinkles of cheese curd between EACH layer. None of that nacho dip bullshit, where somebody puts it all in one top and then after you eat six nachos, it’s dry. Layer it. Then you do a thick, dark gravy. No white gravy. That’s American, by the way. Martina: Dark, dark gravy.
Simon: True, dark gravy is important. Martina: That’s the drippings of like chicken or beef, something that’s very thick and beefy. You pour that on top and the heat from the gravy melts the fresh cheese curds into these like, they slide, like stringy. But then there’ll be some center globs that kind of stay together. So when you scoop it with a fork, and you pull it up, you have these strings of pulling delicious cheese. Simon: Why are we not doing this in a video?
Martina: Salty. Simon: We need to do our Canada videos, is what we need to do.
Martina: Dripping sauce. And then it’s like umm, carby taste with dairy. Great mouthfeel, salty, smooth. Martina: POUTINE. Simon: Martina’s very passionate about poutine. We’re probably gonna do that in our Toronto video. We’re gonna make a video about the foods- Martina: We’re gonna try to make a video about Toronto, ’cause this has been a really hard trip for me so far. Simon: ’cause we’ve been here for a week and we haven’t done any work at all.
Martina: No. Just hanging out with the family. Yeah.
Simon: That’s good. You’re doing a good job though.
Martina: Yeah. Alright so that’s it for this week’s podcast.
Martina: Oh! I just barely finished my poutine rant. Simon: No, but like this-
Martina: Oh, the camera battery’s- Simon: Camera battery’s about to die. We set the timing here on the watch.
Martina: Feel like we haven’t talked to you guys in so long. I feel like I wanted to share so many things with you guys.
Simon: There’s barely any social media that we’ve done either. Martina: No, but. My dad’s in a really serious medical situation. So, I spend as much time with him as I can and it’s very tough-
Simon: It’s very emotionally challenging Martina: Yeah.
Simon: But I think you’re doing a good job. Martina: He has uh, CBD which is not to be mistaken with THC CBD, but if you look up that disease, you can see what’s it uh, what it’s about. But it’s pretty-
Simon: Sucks. I think it’s possibly the worst disease in humanity. Martina: Yeah Simon: I don’t think that there’s one that lasts for so long and makes you suffer so much Martina: No, so we’re, you know, we’re trying to spend time with the family, and my mom my dad and-and it’s really tough on everybody, you know. So I just want to be there as much as I can. I wish there was a transportation machine so I could easily zap between Japan and Canada whenever my mom needed me, you know? Yeah. Simon: But we’re doing a good job and we’re gonna try to get some videos done. We got through the first week just fine Martina: Yeah, we’ll see.
Simon: Yeah we’ll see. Martina: We’ll see where out energy levels are at
Simon: Yeah. Martina: Okay guys.
Simon: Alright. Martina: Um, let us know if you’ve heard of poutine and what was the other question we asked?
Simon: Um… Martina: If I was right about my danger radar…
Simon: Would my question get me stabbed and the last one… Martina: Yes, and also-
Simon: Was the kid Irish? Martina: Yes, and please leave us honestly some reviews because we’re-
Simon: And what’s up with carrot juice and milk? Martina: Okay.
Simon: We got lots of questions. We need to talk with you.
Martina: Leave us a rating, leave us some comments, send us some tweets. Simon: All right.
Martina: Bye guys! Simon: That’s it for this week.

100 thoughts on “TORONTO TALES – Poutine and Duck Rescue (Simon and Martina Podcast Episode 6)

  1. I made the mistake of trying to touch a mother duck's little ducklings once when I was maybe 7y.o. A lesson was learned that day. Never touch a Mother Duck's babies.

    I agree with Martina! Simon, it's best not to make comment on the size of someone's meal.
    Even if it wasn't in a bad area of town, you are likely to get a reaction you weren't counting on.

  2. Born and raised in Etobicoke myself, Martina! Woot! Which high school did you go to? Cicada's were very noisy and prevalent this year.

  3. In my opinion, although I don't think Simon meant anything malicious at all with that comment, even if it wasn't a dangerous thing to say it definitely could have sounded rude. If that person had any sort of body image issues and have gotten comments like this before, it could really of stuck with her. Surprisingly, its these off handed comments by strangers that can stick with someone, because they don't have any ulterior motives. Even if they didn't perceive the words as a direct insult, or even if they knew it wasn't, it could still strengthen a self-deprecating mindset.

    tl;dr I agree with Martina haha

  4. Ok wait… this magical creation of pootine — pouteen — poohtein — poutine… that you speak of, PLEASE DO A RECIPE VIDEO. I can’t believe I’ve missed out for so long 🙏🙏🙏

  5. I get really uncomfortable when people comment on my food, to the point where I try not to eat around other people. When I’m eating a lot or a little, I know how much I’m eating. Comments on the amount of food I’m eating are usually followed by “are you really gonna eat that all?” or “you’re so skinny, why are you dieting?” It’s not that people think bad of you, Simon. It’s a developed response to all the shitty people who ask those questions without such innocent intent.

  6. Carrot juice and milk sound like my Persian boyfriend favorite dessert aka carrot juice and ice cream… it sounds as disgusting as it actually is.

  7. Actually, in Singapore, you can order drink carrot juice + milk at select juice stores. I drink it sometimes too.
    It kinda tastes both milky and earthy. HAHAH it requires a sweeter type of carrot that will complement with milk.

  8. How is saying "It's a lot of fries" be insulting? That's like saying "you're giving me more than I can eat, how generous of you," I think it's more insulting to saying it's not enough or too little meaning that person serving is a cheapskate.

  9. I own 2 ducks and they´re so fluffy, people whom come to my house are always scared of them because they think my ducks are gonna bite them or something XD

  10. Quebec here! poutine is the best ever comfort food!
    you can go for the classic cheese curd, fries and gravy, but you can go to breweries (huh, place that make bear and serve food lol, don't know that word in english), and try their amazing takes on the classic meal :3 usually they make the sauce with their bear and tweek the classic just a bit and the result is ammmaaaaaaasazing 😀

    if you ever go to Quebec, you guys have to try it 😉

  11. I died when Simon talked about being accosted in the stairwell. I instantly had a vision of the Lucky Charms leprechaun popping out from under the stairs. LOL

  12. In one asian country, Malaysia if I’m not mistaken mixed carrot juice with condensed milk (not fresh milk) & it’s pretty good

  13. I saved a baby duck once in a pond. Its foot was stuck in some reeds and the Mama duck couldn’t get it out. I jumped on a log to save it and then my German friend had to pull me back on to land. But the little duck was saved!

  14. I will not tolerate such bamboozeling, you can’t flash a juicy thumbnail like that and not have poutine in the god damn video whats wrong with you.

  15. vitamin a in carrots is better absorbed with fats,that's why it's better to consume carrots either cooked with some olive oil,or juice with milk.

  16. My dad used to mix milk and orange juice and drink it. Also I think that both Martina and Simon are correct. It isn’t nice to say the plate is huge. But I also don’t think he’ll get killed or hurt for saying it. He might get yelled at a lot.

  17. I'm German and my grandparents used to make me carrot juice when I was a child. In fact I've never seen their juicer put to any other use than juicing carrots. It's not particularly yummy, but very good for your eyes.
    You add milk because the carotene needs fat to be absorbed by your body. You can also add some oil if you're vegan, but if you're not, milk is a more homogeneous mix.
    Today some hipsters from the hacker scene run on artisonal Club Mate (a fizzy drink made from mate tea) to stay awake, and carrot juice to support your eyes, because of all the time spent staring at screens.

  18. I have never tried poutine! I have heard of it but literally only once, and recently – on YouTube "kids react to Canadian food" haha. I don't expect they were showing "proper" poutine either! I would love to come to Canada and try it though (for the sake of your question, I'm a Brit living in France and am 30something). Growing up I did love watching Due South (popular in the UK and Canada but nowhere else, I think!) – so uh I thought Canadians all carried pemmican around haha, and this is still what I think of when I think "Canadian food" xD <3 wow that was a great show! I still have a thing for a Mountie in uniform!! (Please would you dress up as Mounties for the nasties?? It would make my millennium!)

    On the late night food topic, although I very much doubt you would actually start a fight over something like that, I like to order whatever I feel like when I'm on a night out. If I overheard someone nearby commenting on how much food I had ordered I might feel I was being judged badly for eating that (even though I'm thin, but people say all kind of awful things sometimes like "how can she eat so much, she must be bulimic" etc.) – I know Simon would never be so rude at least not intentionally, but yeah I'd avoid bringing public attention to the portion size of a stranger's food because drunk people are often very emotional, and you could unintentionally make them feel bad, wondering if you were implying something else by the comment – and even if not, they might feel guilty or embarrassed to actually eat the whole thing with everyone there watching after you said it was a lot, in case folks thought they were greedy and gross – and I know that the last thing Simon wants to do is make someone feel uncomfortable or sad on a night out !! 💜💙

  19. In the Dominican Republic we have a drink call Morir soñando dying dreaming 🤷🏻‍♀️ and is orange juice with milk. Is amazing 😉.

  20. I touched a baby duck once. It was stuck in a wildlife grill so I put my arm in and managed to pick him up. So small and cute and fluffy. I couldn't immediately see it's siblings or mother. They had left him. But luckily I found them and reunited him with them. So proud of Martina for saving that duck 😀

  21. Yes, we do have carrot milk in Malaysia. They serve this at the hawker centre, mixed with some condensed milk and it’s amazing. 😋

  22. Kids are wild. I was packing the car for me and my cousin to head to the airport and these kids were riding their bikes up and down the road. I was after dying my hair RED the night before. And these kids yelled at me “no one likes red hair! CARROT!! YEET!” And took off down the road. It was the funniest thing ever I was so stunned I just laughed like who owns these children.

  23. Since I live in the South I decided to makey own poutine… WHY IN THE FLIBERGIBIT DO WE NOT HAVE THIS HERE? Omg where was this all my fat life? It's happiness pure happiness. 😍😂 Sweet tears of joy. I love you Canada. Thank You.

  24. i've had "poutine" from an Australian night market stall but i don't think that counts as real "poutine" and I'd love to try an authentic if I visit Canada someday! my impression is that poutine is (a general outsider's perspective): chips, gravy and maybe some cheese curds?? or other toppings?

  25. Omg I was so caught of guard by the flight of the conchords reference and I got so excited lol

    I've never touched a duck, but I've held a hawk. It was for a bird banding class I took for my college

  26. Carrot juice and condensed milk with nutmeg is a hang over staple or hot day morning beverage in Jamaican families. Think Taiwanese milk smoothies or Hong Kong milk tea. I wouldn't use regular milk though, it wouldn't have the right sweetness.

  27. I'm Canadian born and raised live in Sudburu Ontario, and I disagree with your poutine rant. Thin fries get coated with graveyard better and God help you if you leave skins on fries and I end up with em.

  28. Simon is such a sweetie. What a supportive husband. I love seeing the way he looks at Martina. So much love! So sorry your Dad is going through that, Martina. Sounds like a terrible condition. Sending you lots of love <3

  29. Carrot juice & milk is something I've seen in like health bars. Though you might find it under "carrot milk." I've had it and I wasn't crazy about it because I'm not crazy about carrot juice or… anything combined with carrots. Just leave them in their natural form.

    However, I saw a recipe for Jamaican carrot juice with sweetened condensed milk & that might actually be good. If you wanted to try it again!

  30. https://www.healthline.com/health/carrot-juice-benefits#cancer-risk
    Simon and Martina this might be something that helps 🙂

  31. I'm super late coming to these videos and subscribing and everything BUT . . I have not touched a duck. I have however saved a seagull. I was at a lighthouse, and it was getting tossed around by waves in the lake and it looked like it had a broken wing so I ran in to the water and grabbed it, wrapped it up in my jacket and called animal rescue. They were surprised that someone saved a seagull of all creatures but come on, it's a living thing. They took it and hopefully rehabilitated it but. . at least it didn't drown! It was such a sweet seagull.

  32. Thanks for sharing even thought you have some important matters going on.
    Please make some lovely moments with your families, take care of yourself, and then after all that is squared away worry about your online community. We will wait.

  33. I am from the states and had zero knowledge of poutine. Nada, nothing, but I am originally from California, and as you know nothing exists outside of California to Californians. 🤣😜 Totally calling myself out.

  34. Ive been loving listening to these podcasts lately cause Ive been so anxious and they always help put me in a better mood but hearing you guys actually swear without bleeping shocks me everytime lol

  35. I’ve never had poutine, but I know what it is! And it sounds delicious! And, I personally wouldn’t be offended by Simons comment about the fries… but, I’m not drunk at 1am right now so that’s another factor. Lol

  36. I am so glad you guys pronounce it poutine. I am from Maine, that's how we pronounce it. But my friend from Northern New Hampshire spells it the same way but pronounces it puts-ing.

  37. Hey, i’ve just came back listening to your podcast again, when you announce that you were ending on the sbs pop asia, i thought your podcast would end too. Well at least i got to binge listening to you guys. I’ve been subscribed to your youtube channel for 7 years now, you were the only youtuber that I’ve continued to watch, i watched every single video, it’s strange that first i was here for the kpop content, but now i just love how you see the world, your food adventures, your everything. You’re like a friend that i always like to listen to. The other thing i got from you guys is understanding, when you first talked about your chronic pain, i was in 11th grade then, you opened up how to understand other people suffering. Now I’m studying in medicine, you helped me to approach them, to be patient with them.

    I hope you won’t stop soon, i hope you continue to talk about ducks and other things. If there’s a chance, i would really love met you

  38. I'm like 6 months late, but I may have an answer for your carrot juice and milk. I vaguely remember my family talking about a passed on member who would drink carrot juice and milk as a health drink for breakfast, particularly after having drunk far too much the night before. Unfortunately, my family has only ever passed on traditions or whatever verbally so I don't exactly have a record on how or why carrot juice and milk was started.

  39. I’m so late to catch up with this podcast because UGH I feel like I need to vent out about my frustration about POUTINE. There’s no cheese curds sold in Indonesia. None. Like most Asian countries, not a lot of Indonesians know about types of cheese or cheese at all. All what we’ve been eating mostly is American cheese that supposedly tastes like cheddar. I even witnessed one person calling the common melty Asian cheese actual mozzarella and the foodie rage in me boils. Ok. So, the only thing that barriers me from creating Poutine is I can’t find cheese curd unless I try to look for it online and have it shipped here. BUT THEN, the menu “poutine” starts to appear everywhere on restaurants and cafes and I even saw one Japanese restaurant sold it and I was like “eggscuse??”. One time, my family and I decided to order a poutine on one of the more… internationally credible cafe and me, a hopeful fairy that I was thought the cafe got it right. I can already imagined its delicious original Canadian authenticity. And you know what came? French fries, finger cut, slathered with BOLOGNESE SAUCE (yes an unapologetically red coloured tomatoey milky ITALIAN meat sauce), shredded cheddar, mozzarella and cream cheese. THIS 👏 ISN’T 👏 POUTINE 👏 it tasted good tho (I mean, fries, cheese and meatsauce) BUT STILL 👏 NOT 👏 POUTINE 👏 I am still salty about it to this day.

    Simon and Martina, if you read this, thank you so much for letting me vent about poutine. I know you guys as Canadians would understand. My goal is just to taste world cuisine in its originality and I can only wish that perhaps there will be a moment saved for me in the future where I can eat actual Poutine.

  40. I have [and love] both carrot juice and milk.
    I have both in my fridge and just tried a mix of both. i have to admit the ratio really changes the flavor. but a near half and half mix with more milk tasted just fine. honestly the color was more appealing than the flavor.
    you should try Orange flavored milk. it tastes like an orange cream pop!

  41. i straight came from ur podcast at spotify to clarify/claim my region/country likes adding milk to carrot juice, but instead of normal milk, we'll use sweetened condensed milk.. itss soo delicious and i sometimes get addicted to it.. not sure how it taste with plain milk tho..

  42. I've saved 2 little turtles. they were crossing the backroads in ON. Ppl are so cruel and just crush them. so sad 🙁

  43. I love the touching duck story ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Simon’s dad : No! We are talking about touching ducks!!

  44. My teenage son and I were listening to this podcast while driving home. Both a bit hungry but waiting til we got home to eat, so we thought. Enjoying the podcast until the poutine description, 😂 which by the way is my sons favorite food. My son immediately looked at me and said "Why!" Martinas description of poutine put my growing , constantly hungry child ,into a intense craving of poutine. 🤣 for half an hour all I heard was "why" " she described it perfectly " "she made me drool" 🤣 we eventually stopped at the next town to get my 6 foot 13 year old poutine. Not true poutine , curly fries and shredded cheese, but did tame my giant sons hunger. 😂 By the way he completely agrees with your assessment of poutine and Simon, Martina was very right!

  45. For some reason I'm subscribed to a lot of Canadian YouTubers, so even though I've never had poutine, I know what it is. I really want to try it some day!

  46. My dad used to make carrot shakes. Carrot, milk, and ice. He made me drink it cause “it’s healthy” only explanation he told me.

  47. I've been working through this playlist all day and funnily enough, I get to this episode an hour after having poutine for the first time ever. Someone is making cheese curds from scratch in Galway, Ireland. Serious commitment!

  48. I never realized how close you guys were to me lol so awesome. I always thought to myself how familiar Simon looks and sounds so I feel like I met him by accident before lol (when you guys visit back here obviously), also some of bf's fam is in Etobicoke so wow we've been so close so many times guys!

  49. I miss Pickering so much seeing the neighborhood brings back so many memories definitely craving Ketchup chips flakies a bunch

  50. It probably was a Scottish kid all the kids are either Neds, actually good kids (hahaha that’s rare), smart asses or drunk (tbh one of my “friends “ got hospitalised for drinking a whole bottle of vodka (she was14)) I’m Scottish btw

  51. I know you have alot of video ideas but.. maybe you could play tourist for a day in your area and film it? That may be fun or make a fun date idea!

  52. I know how different cheeses are made and I want to hear more about your poutine cheese curds, Martina! Also, DARK GRAVY IS BEST GRAVY!

  53. Late answer comming: I did touch a lot of ducks 😛 we lived in a small dead end street with a river at the end. One man who was living by the river used to feed the ducks. There was hundreds of them! we actually have picture of us as little kids completly surrounded by them :3.

  54. Poutine is amazingness incarnate. I got introduced to it at a French immersion camp about… 15 years ago? It remains one of the few ways that I will willingly consume fries When I finally went to Canada last summer with my parents, I very calmly informed my mother to forget the fairly strict diet I was on, I was GETTING poutine AND SHE COULD NOT STOP ME. It was a decision that I did not regret.

  55. Growing up in the country, my family (Dad Mom and eight siblings) we had pigs, horses, ducks chickens, sheep, goats, cats, dogs, guinea pigs, hamsters all kinds of animals.

  56. I wonder if people solved the carrot juice + milk drink thing yet lol I was rewatching this podcast and was like what if the orange thing was papaya. Papaya + milk is a thing in Taiwan, but I don't think people have papaya juiced up already, its usually cut into chunks, which you then blend up with milk. Thoughts?

  57. Haha! Martina is spot-on with her description of Poutine. So many people assume that ANY cheese will do and that just makes me so sad.

  58. I just discovered you guys and love listening to you guys.. so funny and love the random divergents in your conversations! I do that all the time and i feel like I’ve found my people!!! Hugs

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