Simon: Hey, it’s Simon Martina: and this is Martina Simon: And we’re broadcasting in Pickering, Ontario
Martina: Pickery—Oh no I wasn’t ready Simon: I don’t know what adjectives I could use to describe this Simon: The nostalginest…
Martina: The GTA of Toronto Simon: Also heads up The audio’s gonna be profoundly worse than usual. Simon: We don’t have our mics with us
Martina: Sorry, guys. We’re on vacation now. We’re visiting our families. This is our annual check in to see how our families are doing. We spent a few days in Etobicoke Martina: Yes we did.
Simon: With Martina’s family Simon: and now we’re here in Pickering with my family and we’re gonna record our podcast out here. Martina: And we were like, “Let’s make sure we pack our microphones”. So what we did was we forget to pack our microphone. Simon: We brought them to Canada, but we left them in Etobicoke. Simon: So now we’re here.
Martina:If that’s possi—i know— Simon: So we’re just gonna be relying on the shotgun mic. Martina: So those of you watching, we are sitting on Simon’s balcony. Simon: Yes Martina: Overlooking the excellentness of Pickering. Simon: We can see all the new developments that have happened Simon: We can see all the new developments that have happened What can you see— describe for people that aren’t Martina: uh watching on Youtube
Simon: I see— let me tell you Simon: Major Oaks used to just end at Brock row But now they’ve extended and they have a whole bunch of new houses over there Martina: Mhm They got a few cicadas here. Not as many as what we’re used to. Martina: I believe that’s one, just A cicada Martina: I believe that’s one, just A cicada
Simon: A cicada Martina: That should make this podcast really enjoyable Simon: And yeah, we just got into Pickering yesterday So I don’t know much that more. All I know is that I’m looking at these houses like Wow look at that, that’s new That’s new, That’s new Simon: There’s a lot of development happening here.
Martina: Yeah I don’t know about your home country, it just seems like Canada grows Martina: really fast
Simon: So slow Martina: No
Simon: No, but it used to grow really slow Like remember our first like—when we were in Korea, whenever we’d visit Canada we would be like “Wow Simon: they’re still working on the 401.”
Martina: Yeah that’s true.. Martina: We—We didn’t see changes
Simon: Yeah I guess what it is is that we’ve been gone for like a decade now
Simon: Yeah and when you think about projects that people will lay out on the roads They’ll be like it’s estimated proposal latest to be finished in two years. And two years feels like two years But if we were gone for ten Martina: Look at how many different projects.
Simon: So a lot of things—But It feels like every time I come back to Canada, there’s new stuff being built Martina: Yeah,
Simon: Now! Like within these past few years has really gone like hardcore with development Martina: Well, in one way, Canada and middle parts of America and like Sweden and Norway they kind of remind me of each other in a certain sense because We all have vast amounts of wilderness Simon: Right Martina: and we don’t really know what to do with it Simon: I mean that’s a ridiculous tree. Like do you look—look at that fucking thing right there. Like do you look—look at that fucking thing right there.
Martina: It’s a huge tree Simon: That’s a huge tree.
Martina: Yeah Simon: I mean that shouldn’t be in a residential area
Martina: It’s hundred of year—it’s hundreds of years old Martina: Like this tree— But what I’m getting at is—
Simon: that’s bigger than a house! I’m not trying to get over the fact that we have a big tree. I think that’s cool I love that Canada and you know other parts have that kind of pushed togetherness of nature
Simon: Uh huh What I’m trying to say is that I think it’s wild that we will drive along and just see in the middle of Pickering
Simon: Yeah little woods that are thick
Simon: Yeah That just haven’t been touched
Simon: Yep and on one day we’ll come back here and there’ll be like 400 townhouses there.
Simon: Yep We have that space, but we’ve been living in Asia for so long like Korea and Japan do not have that space When something is newly built the whole thing is like—
Simon: Yeah Martina: it just goes like this way Simon: Also, this fence was never blue. My mom just made this fence blue It never used to be blue, so I’m just looking at all these new things she painted that hook thing blue as well why would you do that, Mom? Love you, Mom Don’t know why you did that… Don’t know why you did that…
Martina: I think it’s nice, I like the color blue Simon: Okay, so we have a few stories I want to tell you Martina: Yeah, we’re gonna start with the story uh leaving Japan to come to Canada Simon: So when we’re leaving, Japan Martina was very confused when this was happening.
Martina: Yeah Simon: We were in, uh, the lounge and Martina was making uh a drink and she asked me for some lemons So I went over to the fridge to grab some lemons because that’s where the sliced lemons were and when I opened the fridge an older businessman Uh, he was Asian. I don’t know his nationality. He was Asian and he walks in like in a full suit
Martina: Mhm he looks pretty tired and he reaches over, he grabs a glass and he grabs a pitcher of orange stuff and fills it halfway and then he grabs a pitcher of milk and then he fills the rest of it and he grabs that and he dawders off
Martina: and we—we don’t know which—what the orange was like—
Simon: So Simon: Martina had no idea
Martina: orange juice?? mango juice? because she was focusing on making a cocktail
Martina: Yeah So I bring over the lemon and then when we’re about to leave I’m like don’t ask any questions, just follow my lead So I grab a glass. I fill it half with orange in half with milk
Martina: Yeah and she’s like what the hell are you doing? Martina: He’s like sus sus don’t ask questions
Simon: So I explain the story to her I said look, some guy just came in here and he did it. It must be some kind of like—
Martina: Ancient Chinese secret That’s what you were thinking! Martina: Just admit it, Simon! Simon: Yes, it must have been some kind of ancient secret Martina: You were like *gasp* ancient chinese secret
Simon: And then Martina was like no that doesn’t make any sense. Simon: It turns out that our seat was right beside his so when we sat then Simon: we saw him chugging away this thing like okay
Martina: Typing and drinking I could just like be like Oh that’s strange or I could go and actually try it and I decided you know what this is worth trying. Martina: Yeah. You sure did Simon: So I took it I realized it’s not orange juice because orange juice might curdle with milk. Martina: Yeah, orange juice will curdle with milk. We thought maybe it was mango juice like mango and milk
Simon: Yeah makes sense, that’s kind of like a dessert thing, right?
Simon: Right Simon: but it was carrot juice So it’s carrot juice and milk. So I took a swig of it. I’m like this tastes like barium. If you ever had like any like stomach x-rays and you have to like drink like this like solution that’s like Martina: I’ve done that so many times Martina: It’s chalky and thick and milky
Simon: It’s just chalky and weird Simon: and it doesn’t taste like anything enjoyable at all
Martina: Medicine-y And it was gross and Martina is like there’s no way that this is actually— and we looked over and the guy was just happily away pounding it down
Martina: So I had a theory which was Martina: So I had a theory which was maybe that guy’s from like a different time zone and he’s exhausted or he’s drunk and he made this drink
Simon: Yeah and he doesn’t even know what he’s drinking
Simon: Because— Martina: And Simon blindly followed him
Simon: Mhm yeah thinking that it’s some ancient Chinese secret. And now other people saw Simon do that and they go, well, this guy must know something I don’t know. Martina: And now he’s created this trend
Simon: So we started this whole fad Just by this one random guy who’s been doing this— Just by this one random guy who’s been doing this—
Martina: Or was he like the fifth random guy Simon: Who knows Martina: He followed someone before him
Simon: The point is, I googled it afterwards this must be like some—like carrot juice and milk. Couldn’t find any answer. Either this guy made it up or it’s been in his family forever Or he was just really drunk and he just started this whole chain reaction of carrot juice. I dare you right now.
Martina: So what we—we need to know from you guys Simon: Try it if you have carrot juice at home, if not, juice it
Martina: Yes, of course! If you don’t have a juicer then just squeeze the carrot meticulously til you get out all the juice and
Martina: All that carrot juice hanging around the house mix it with some milk and tell me why? Cuz why anyone do this? Why? Be more constructive
Martina: The weird part was— Simon: Why Martina: It wasn’t that bad. It just Both: Wasn’t good. Martina: So…
Simon: Carrot juice on its own is okay, milk on its own is great Put them together and you’re just—you don’t have anything that’s good. Martina: Okay, so leave us a comment, please
Simon: Yes Martina: a youtube comment below or if you’re ??
Simon: Carrot juice and milk Simon: Please explain this
Martina: Or let us know if it’s part of your culture because if it is that will be delightful Martina had a theory. She says, you know what this tastes like it tastes like cantaloupe juice Right? And I’m like it’s true that does kinda taste like cantaloupe juice but you know
Martina: Yeah what else tastes like cantaloupe juice? Juiced cantaloupes! If you want cantaloupe juice, you juice a cantaloupe. You don’t mix carrots and milk and try to get cantaloupe juice Martina: Plus *silly accent* cantaloupe juu
Simon: *same accent* CANTALOUPE Simon: *silly canadian accent* ish mah Canadian accent *something* cantaloupe juice.. Martina: Plus it’s not like you go Oh, I’m so used to having cantaloupe juice every morning.
Simon: Right I’ve never even heard of someone juicing at cantaloupe
Simon: No It’s not like some hankering.
Simon: It doesn’t make any sense. They only have carrot and milk. Well, I guess I’ll— Simon: So that’s weird story number one that we had. Weird story number two: Martina saved a duck. Martina: I saved a duck, guys Simon: You saved a duck! I wasn’t there.
Martina: I saved a duck I was busy. I was working out.
Martina: I dropped Simon off at the gym and then I was driving across the street to park the car and go into the mall
Simon: Right and when I was waiting at the light, something just horrific unfolded in front of me. A huge black duck – – it wasn’t a goose and it wasn’t a normal duck. He was almost like a crane duck or something,
Simon: Right it was flying and I look – I was looking up at it, of course and it just- Simon: Stopped looking at the road ahhh Martina: Ahhh it’s a duckie *clapping* Ah ha ha ha woahhhh Martina: I was at a red light
Simon: Yeah. Oh yeah, there ya go I was at a red light Simon: Yes and it was pouring rain and this duck was flying and it looked like he got caught in some strange gust of wind because he went backwards and hit a wire.
Simon: All right like across the neck. Like a *choking*
Simon: Yeah And he went uhhhhhh And he fell onto the road.
Simon: Yeah Martina: And I was like oh my god that duck
Simon: It’s a duck! He just fell into the road and I’m like surely everyone will see a duck. Well, this jerk BALLS turns the corner I’m still at the red and he’s going left and drives. I see him slow down, because he realizes there’s a duck theN HE JUST RUNS OVER THE DUCK! Simon: He just runs over a duck Martina: He’s like well I couldn’t save it and he just went over the duck and I’m sitting in the car screaming screaming
Simon: Mortified Martina: It’s like this intersection and I’m like *screeches*
Simon: You’re expecting just like a big pillow to explode of like feathers Martina: I hate watching animals get hit by cars It feels so helpless because it’s like they’re in our world, like he got tangled in a wire like Simon: in our world Martina: in our world Like ah made me so sad. Anyhow, I saw that he was run over Right in the middle. So, he wasn’t hit by a tire.
Simon: Yeah Being hit by tire you’re dead, you’re squished
Simon: You’re squished, yes squished Martina: But he – kind of went under it. So I thought, “He’s probably in shock. He probably booped his little duck head.” Simon: Yeah But luckily he’s surrounded by feathers.
Simon: Right. So I thought to myself –
Simon: He’s got cushioning Yes. Don’t be one of those people that stops for animals and then dies and creates a car chain reaction. Where 90 humans die because a girl had to go save a duck. So I slowed down towards the duck.
Simon: So she does it anyways! Well hang on! I looked around and I saw there’s no one behind me. Like it’s pretty empty. It’s Pickering in a rainstorm Simon: Yeah. So I put the car in hazard mode I open up the door and I leave it open so that it looks weird to people that there’s a car with a door ajar And I run around, and no one’s there because I was afraid the car would get rear-ended.
Simon: Yeah yeah And then kill me and the duck.
Simon: Yeah. So I got up, and I came over and the duck was just sitting there like with his wings down and his head was up And he was just looking around like –
Simon: What? Wha happened But I didn’t see any blood
Simon: Yeah And so I said, “Okay little sweet guy, hang on a second.” And I just went behind him and I scooped him up and he was THIS BIG like a football – bigger than a football
Simon: Bigger than a football He was like a, a big round soft black puffy…SO SOFT
Simon: Yeah So soft duck Simon: Did you take any feathers at least to remember him by like? You know *pop* You know me, I’ll just take this one. His navigation feather. No!
Simon: Oh no! Um, I picked him up and I looked across the street I still had to run across the road, and then a woman turned the corner in her minivan and she was like, “That woman’s saving a duck.”
Simon: She’s saving a duck! So she stopped her car and created like a little barrier so that no one could get past and hurt me. And then I put the duck down in the grass, near a bush.
Simon: Yeah And I gave him a little pet. And I was like, “You’ll be okay,” and then I waved thank you to the woman and I ran back into my car. And I was pumped full of adrenaline
Simon: Ahhhhhhh Simon: There’s so much adrenaline even now And this was me, this was me [breathing heavily] Saved the duck Saved the duck. And I was so stressed and for the record on the way back home to pick up Simon I saw the duck and he was standing up straight and he had his feathers like this and he was kind of looking around So he survived. Maybe he didn’t, maybe he had a little concussion
Simon: Could be A little duck concussion.
Simon: Whole point is – I said to Martina, “Hey, you actually touched a duck.” I’ve never touched a duck in my life, apart from you, and I have two ducks on my arm but I’ve never actually touched a duck and this is you touching a duck. And then when I told my father he’s like, [heavy European accent] “Yes, what is problem? I do – I touch duck also.”
Simon: Like when did you touch a duck? “When I was kid we had ducks,” that my father’s – like they had ducks and chickens and then they like killed the ducks and they ate the ducks. And he’s like, “Duck blood soup is very delicious soup.” And I – I don’t want to talk about duck well we’re talking about saving ducks, not eating them. He’s like, “No, we talk about touching ducks.” Martina: And that was how we had the story of talking about touching ducks Simon: So Martina has touched a duck before. I’ve never – Have you kind viewer, kind listener? Have you ever touched duck?
Martina: Have you touched a duck? Please let us know how many ducks you have touched. I want to know the answer to this question. I also have to say that I was like really proud of myself for not behaving like a crazed kpop fan Simon: Yes Because I was holding my first duck and I could have like just gently…
Simon: You could have kissed it …snuggled it against my face
Simon: Yeah, you could have pulled out some of its feathers Or ruffled his little chest fur Or like patted his head.
But instead I was like, “He’s scared and I won’t.” And I just cupped him lovingly like a pine cone. Simon: When we were at our motel Martina: Wait, wanna get some water?
Simon: Nah I’m good. Martina: Cause we’re gonna edit this part
Simon: Sure. Or are we gonna edit this part? Martina: Mm, maybe. I really am so thirsty. Simon: Let me get you some water? Martina: You get me some water.
Simon: Get you some water. I’ll update everybody on our motel. So Simon went to the lobby to pick up some food, and when he was there, this kid was Scottish do you think? Simon: I’m not sure. I don’t know his accent, but he was on the stairs.
Martina: Welsh or Scottish? He was maybe like eight or nine years old, and then he shouted at me. At first, I thought he was shouting to his friends, and then I realized, now that I think about it he was actually shouting at me and he said, [Irish/Scottish/?? accent] “Well, yer a small one, ain’t ye? What’s life like up there?” Simon: And, who is this kid to shout this at me? I’m not used to kids shouting anything at me. I just walked to my car giggling to myself. I should have said something, but then I realized that I shouldn’t have because he sounds – He definitely seems like a smartass kid.
Martina: Oh, yeah
That’ll be just waiting, to like, aggravate an adult Martina: I think he was Irish because, ready for some Irish profiling?
Simon: [Irish accent] “Yer a small one, ain’t ye?” I’m trying to understand because “ye” goes into like the Scottish mode. If it was Welsh, Simon would have just mumbled with marbles in his mouth.
Simon: I would’ve. So, that would’ve been a problem. But I feel like it’s an Irish person.
Simon: There you go Yeah, but the story that I wanted to tell was what you went out to get was poutine. Poutine! Simon: This is your second poutine now.
Martina: A poutinerie. No it’s not. Simon: Yes it is.
Martina: It is my second poutine. Simon: You know, why? Okay, so here we need an answer from you guys, because Martina got very scared in this situation. We were awake at 3:00 a.m. because of jetlag.
Martina: Yeah. 1:00 a.m. We were so exhausted. Super hungry. We decided to go to a 24-hour place called Zed’s?
Martina: Yep And it was Greek food, and they had a lot of souvlaki(?) they have poutine there as well. We ordered a small poutine and as we were waiting there, there’s a girl that was like beside us. She just came back from the club.
Martina: Everyone there was like club gear
Everyone there was in club gear. Martina: We’re in like pajamas and hoodies. And like, her poutine came up and they put down this plate and it was just a MASSIVE plate of fries. Martina: Like okay, so…How big – what kind of a thing can you use to describe this to people
Simon: Probably like a basketball width. Martina: Ours was basketball. Her’s was like a…what size is this? Simon: Borsketball.
Martina: A Borsketball. A schergerber? Simon: It was really, it was really big.
Martina: It was big. And piled. Simon: Okay, so it’s bigger than my head. Maybe like a little bit less than my shoulder width.
Martina: A small watermelon? Simon: Yeah, you can say small watermelon, radius of the plate.
Martina: Yeah. Simon: And it was just stacked with fries and it was just so much and I said, “Oh my god, that’s so many fries!” Right?
Martina: Yeah. Simon: And Martina was like, “You shut up, Simon.”
Martina: In Japanese and Korean, I’m saying, yelling at him. Simon: “You shut your dumb face, right now.”
Martina: And he kept saying, “Wow, that’s MASSIVE. That’s such a HUGE amount.” Simon: And Martina says, “The person beside us who ordered it could have taken this as, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Martina: Yup. Simon: And she was worried that I was gonna get into a fight with somebody but I was just like, “No, it’s just a big plate – can’t I say that that’s a big plate of fries?” But Martina is like, “You be careful because -.”
Martina: Here’s – here’s what he could have said. “I’m so hungry.” Followed by anything you want now. “Oh my god, what a huge plate of fries blah blah blah.” Because then, you’re commiserating with each other She’d be like, “Oh my god totally.” But you never went dancing or clubbing your whole life.
Simon: No. Martina: No. Jackie, and I used to go to the Phoenix
Simon: Right. Martina: like every Saturday, which is a rock club downtown, and then we’d come home and get fries or burgers or wherever and depending on the neighborhood you’re in… Simon: Yes
Martina: When you were in a neighborhood that’s dangerous and believe me – that was a dangerous neighborhood we were in.
Simon: Right. Martina: Ok, I am like, “Do not EVEN –
Simon: Give anyone.
Martina: – say something that, like, stepping on someone’s shoes. Right? If you’re like, “Oh my god, that’s so much.” She can be like, “Are you calling me fat? Like, did you think this was just for me?” Simon: Nah! That’s just a huge plate of fries. Martina: “Oh really, it’s huge is it? So you’re saying that I can eat all this – I must be fat?” Simon: “No, I’m just saying I’ve never seen that many fries before.”
Martina: “Hey Bobby, this guy’s calling me fat.” Simon: “I’m not calling you fat! I didn’t even know who had it!”
Martina: And then he comes up and then Simon knifes – And then it says, “Game Over.” Simon: It could have just been anybody’s fries.
Martina: Except it doesn’t say, “Game Over,” because Martina would’ve punched him in the spine, taken the knife from his hand.
Simon: So, I’m not – Martina: and would’ve yelled, “Don’t you touch my duck!” And then I’d scoop him up like a pine cone. Simon: That’d be the 2nd duck that you saved in 1 week.
Martina: And then I’d run to the car.
Simon: You’re just a duck saver. So, the question is: Is Martina right? Is it okay if I said, “Hey, that’s a whole lot of fries or was Martina’s danger-
Martina: And remember. Was Martina’s danger-dar correct? Simon: Yes.
Martina: This question isn’t: It’s 11:00 a.m. You’re at a clean establishment. Simon: It’s 3:00 a.m.
Martina: It’s 3:00 a.m. Everyone’s dressed like they came from a really really really really hot Club. Simon: Yes.
Martina: It must have been super hot.
Simon: Because it’s just- Martina: The lack of clothing from everybody was…
Simon: The lack of clothing. I’m expecting there was barely any…
Martina: I mean bikinis. People were in bikini tops. Simon: Right? Just so little clothing.
Martina: I only think that this is shocking for me because: A) I’m old and B) I went to rock clubs, and rock clubs had a totally different scene of people wearing t-shirts like this. You wore shorts, you could wear a tight dress, you could get gothy. But you couldn’t pick anyone up, because you can’t dance or grind with somebody if you’re listening to “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” You’re like, “LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR.” And you’re like jumping up and down. Simon: That’s right girl, let them bodies hit the FLOOR. That’s right. You got it.
Martina: [singing] So excited, bodies hit the floor- [normal voice] Every single song took Simon [??] for him to like uh…
Simon: It’s perfect, you got it. Martina: Okay, you can’t. So for me I’m always like, those are the people that picked fights with me when I went out for food afterwards.
Simon: Right. It was the different crowd. The rockers didn’t pick on each other- Simon: So, you’ve had experiences with people pic3king fights
Martina: Yes I’ve had experiences with people being pissed off. Simon: I’ve never had this kind of experience, so I thought I had a very innocent question. I’m just a sweet guy. I’m just so innocent, how could anyone want to pick a fight with me? Except for that little Irish kid.
Martina: I don’t think he was picking a fight with you. Simon: Wasn’t he though?
Martina: No. I saw him later on and he was getting laid into by the hotel staff woman, because he asked for a dollar change but he didn’t say please.
Martina: And I was like, “Good for you Miss Lady.” I was really happy seeing her be like, “Oh, did you want me to exchange this? I believe… I’m missing a phrase. Simon: What’s the – what’s the word-
Martina: What’s that word? And then he’s like, “Oh, please.”
Simon: -that gets you things? Martina: She’s like, “One more time.”
Simon: Let me hear it in a full sentence, you little Irish SHIT. She didn’t say that last part.
Martina: No, she didn’t. Oh my gosh. I realized that the entire point of that story
Simon: Yes. Martina: Uh, was that we had two poutines.
Simon: The whole point is that we had two poutines. This is your second poutine. Martina: And I blanked out on one of them. So what I wanted to tell you guys, what is poutine?
Simon: The first one you forgot. Yes. Martina: What the heck is poutine, and the reason why I feel like I’ve only had one poutine was because that first poutine was not poutine.
Simon: That was a BS poutine. Martina: I told you.
Simon: Yes. Martina: So, I’ll explain what a poutine is, umm…No, I’m gonna do a quiz first. I have a question for you guys.
Simon: Question is? Martina: My theory is that I don’t think, umm… Simon: The world
Martina: the world knows anything about Canada because we have things that people don’t get. So for example, if I was say to you, “Japan. Sushi.” You-you may never have tried it, but you’ll know, well what’s sushi. Simon: Rice and raw fish.
Martina: Rice and raw fish maybe, right? I could say to you, “Mexican food,” and you’ve maybe never had it. Simon: Yeah. Martina: But if you think of Mexico and Mexico food, you know what they look like. Simon: Salsa, chips, and tacos.
Martina: Avocado, cheese maybe? I say, “American hamburger,” you pic-cowboys
Simon: You know hamburgers. Martina: I can name you all these terms. Germany. You can have an idea of like, what these things look like and then I say, “Ah yes, poutine.” And people go, “Yes, poutine, that Canadian food that’s, that’s um… Simon: BUT
Martina: They don’t know what poutine is. Simon: But they know that it’s fries and gravy. Most people know. Martina: Maybe you don’t know. Simon: If you’ve heard of poutine before and you never had it, do you know what poutine is? Martina: And fries and gravy is actually [buzzer noise] incorrect. Simon: No sure, but that’s what people think. It’s fries and gravy WITH cheese curds.
Martina: Cheese CURDS. Simon: Not shredded cheese.
Martina: No! Simon: Not mozzarella cheese.It has to be cheese CURD. Martina: Okay, you wanna know what a cheese curd is? This is a Québécois like, food originally. Which is why it’s so OG Canadian. When you’re in the process of making cheese, there’s this whole stage called like, blocking or where you actually like, shape it into things. This is the beginning stage when all the curds are separating, and you cut through it with a knife, and you make it really small. And then you bring it together as like separated little tiny nubbles of fresh cheese. And there’s actually a whole technique to flavoring it to become more like a white cheddar, and they stretch it, and they pull it so many times, kind of like a really fresh mozzarella ball has that wrapping. You do that with this as well. And then, that goes on top of fresh cut thick fries. Simon: I like how you describe the process of making this cheese
Martina: Yes. Simon: As if it’s differentiated from anybody else’s idea of how any other cheese is made. Nobody really has any understanding of cheese. Like I don’t know boiled milk, put some seasoning, CHEESE. I don’t think most people know- Martina: I made cheese, remember?
Simon: Sure, YOU did. But most people are just like, “I don’t know, it’s orange.” And then you just put it on. It’s better when it’s melted. That’s all you know how it tastes delicious. I think very few people know the process of making cheese Martina: Did I just ruin everybody’s podcast?
Simon: And so for you to say, “Oh, no, it’s different because for this cheese you gotta do like strings, you gotta do nubbles.” Nobody has that kind of working knowledge of cheese. Martina: Hey, don’t forget to rate us in the iTunes store, five stars. I love talking about cheese. Simon: So you learned how to make a specific kind cheese, but you probably don’t have any other idea of other cheeses. Martina: Okay.
Simon: It’s ok, because I don’t either. I don’t know like the right way to make Parmesan cheese. Martina: Let’s continue our Canadian um… celebration.
Simon: Yes, your poutine. Explain the poutine. Martina: So they’re called curds, and they’re fresh, which means they’ll rot. Which is why we rarely ever find poutine in other parts of the world. Simon: Right. Martina: Even we go to Canadian pubs in like, Seoul or in Tokyo.
Simon: They don’t have curds. Martina: They’re like “poutine,” and they just put shredded mozzarella and I’m like, “You shut your whore mouth!” and I want to like slap it off the table, it makes me so mad. So, fresh cut thick fries like, finger-finger width. None of these stringy little like, mushed into potatoes. No. Thick cut fries with the skins on. Fry that up. Generous sprinkles of cheese curd between EACH layer. None of that nacho dip bullshit, where somebody puts it all in one top and then after you eat six nachos, it’s dry. Layer it. Then you do a thick, dark gravy. No white gravy. That’s American, by the way. Martina: Dark, dark gravy.
Simon: True, dark gravy is important. Martina: That’s the drippings of like chicken or beef, something that’s very thick and beefy. You pour that on top and the heat from the gravy melts the fresh cheese curds into these like, they slide, like stringy. But then there’ll be some center globs that kind of stay together. So when you scoop it with a fork, and you pull it up, you have these strings of pulling delicious cheese. Simon: Why are we not doing this in a video?
Martina: Salty. Simon: We need to do our Canada videos, is what we need to do.
Martina: Dripping sauce. And then it’s like umm, carby taste with dairy. Great mouthfeel, salty, smooth. Martina: POUTINE. Simon: Martina’s very passionate about poutine. We’re probably gonna do that in our Toronto video. We’re gonna make a video about the foods- Martina: We’re gonna try to make a video about Toronto, ’cause this has been a really hard trip for me so far. Simon: ’cause we’ve been here for a week and we haven’t done any work at all.
Martina: No. Just hanging out with the family. Yeah.
Simon: That’s good. You’re doing a good job though.
Martina: Yeah. Alright so that’s it for this week’s podcast.
Martina: Oh! I just barely finished my poutine rant. Simon: No, but like this-
Martina: Oh, the camera battery’s- Simon: Camera battery’s about to die. We set the timing here on the watch.
Martina: Feel like we haven’t talked to you guys in so long. I feel like I wanted to share so many things with you guys.
Simon: There’s barely any social media that we’ve done either. Martina: No, but. My dad’s in a really serious medical situation. So, I spend as much time with him as I can and it’s very tough-
Simon: It’s very emotionally challenging Martina: Yeah.
Simon: But I think you’re doing a good job. Martina: He has uh, CBD which is not to be mistaken with THC CBD, but if you look up that disease, you can see what’s it uh, what it’s about. But it’s pretty-
Simon: Sucks. I think it’s possibly the worst disease in humanity. Martina: Yeah Simon: I don’t think that there’s one that lasts for so long and makes you suffer so much Martina: No, so we’re, you know, we’re trying to spend time with the family, and my mom my dad and-and it’s really tough on everybody, you know. So I just want to be there as much as I can. I wish there was a transportation machine so I could easily zap between Japan and Canada whenever my mom needed me, you know? Yeah. Simon: But we’re doing a good job and we’re gonna try to get some videos done. We got through the first week just fine Martina: Yeah, we’ll see.
Simon: Yeah we’ll see. Martina: We’ll see where out energy levels are at
Simon: Yeah. Martina: Okay guys.
Simon: Alright. Martina: Um, let us know if you’ve heard of poutine and what was the other question we asked?
Simon: Um… Martina: If I was right about my danger radar…
Simon: Would my question get me stabbed and the last one… Martina: Yes, and also-
Simon: Was the kid Irish? Martina: Yes, and please leave us honestly some reviews because we’re-
Simon: And what’s up with carrot juice and milk? Martina: Okay.
Simon: We got lots of questions. We need to talk with you.
Martina: Leave us a rating, leave us some comments, send us some tweets. Simon: All right.
Martina: Bye guys! Simon: That’s it for this week.