The Psychology of Selling: 13 Steps to Selling that Actually Work

The Psychology of Selling: 13 Steps to Selling that Actually Work


Do you ever notice that moment where you’ve won over that prospect? But, on the other hand,
have you ever seen the look on their face when you
just clearly lost them? There is truly a psychology
to selling effectively. Yet most salespeople don’t know exactly what they’re doing correctly
that’s making people more attracted to them, versus incorrectly that’s actually repelling
prospects away from them. In this video I’m going to show you the psychology of selling. The 13 steps to selling that
actually works, check it out. (clicking) Number one, drop the enthusiasm. This is probably my biggest passion in this sales training
space is getting salespeople and to drop the enthusiasm,
to drop the excitement when they’re in front of prospects. Your prospects don’t like
it, they don’t enjoy it. They don’t feel good about it because it doesn’t seem real, right? If I go up to you, just forgetting a sales situation, but
let’s just say I come up to you at a networking event, right? And I come up, and I introduce myself. And I say, hi, my name’s
Marc, it’s nice to meet you. Right, simple introduction. What if on the other
hand I come up and I say, hey, Marc Wayshak, how are you? You’re immediately like,
what, that feels weird. And then, when you add it
into a selling situation, immediately your prospect
is going to be repelled. It actually is caused by
a psychological phenomenon called reactance, where
when we’re clearly trying to push someone in one direction they’re going to resist,
they’re going to pull back. So we want to drop that enthusiasm, and instead just be real, be genuine. Number two, they don’t want the pitch. Some very recent data showed that one of the biggest reasons that prospects and buyers don’t ultimately
choose to do business with a salesperson is that
they felt that the salesperson didn’t really understand
their needs, their concerns. Yet, what most salespeople are
doing is when they first meet that prospect they’re
coming in with that pitch. They’re coming in with all
of the reasons why someone should do business with
them in the first place when we don’t actually know if it’s a fit. We haven’t done that proper discovery to understand what’s really going on. So what your prospect really wants at the end of the day is
they want to be engaged in a conversation about what’s going on, what’s really important to them. And what those challenges
actually look like to them. And then, if based on that conversation they still feel like it’s a
fit, now it’s presentation time. Now it’s time to present what
that solution looks like. Think of it almost as a
doctor’s type of a conversation. You go to the doctor, and
the doctors are not saying, hey, we have this incredible
new procedure, right? Instead, they’re just saying, hey, tell me where are you feeling that pain? What’s going on, help
me understand, right? It’s a two-way dialogue, and
it’s not about the pitch. Number three, pressure
is a no-no. (laughs) Now, growing up we would always use the term no-no, that’s a no-no. And I still think about pressure in sales as the same idea here. It’s that we don’t want
to be putting pressure on prospects because it’s a no-no. Because it is such a taboo,
it is such a bad thing. And it’s not just not helpful, it’s actually killing the sale. So what we want to do is remove all pressure from the selling situation. Instead of trying to persuade the prospect to tell us, yes, where we’re immediately as a result putting all
this pressure onto them. Instead, we want to take a step back. It’s like I said earlier,
there’s this concept called reactance in psychology
where in any situation when we’re trying to push
someone to do something, and they know we’re doing that, they’re immediately going
to want to pull back. Think about trying to get
your kids to do something, or your spouse, or someone that you know. Trying to push them into something that they’re not really sold on yet. If they feel like you’re
putting pressure there’s a good likelihood that they’re
actually going to pull back. Well, that’s the exact same thing with selling to a prospect. If we’re putting pressure on they’re actually gonna pull back. What I suggest is you take
all that pressure off. And, instead, just questions to determine whether there’s actually a fit. Number four, it’s about them, not you. Now, again, this goes back to
one of these really old ideas. There was a boss that
I had who used to say prospects listen to one radio station. And that one radio station is WIIFM. Now, do you know what WIIFM stand for? It’s what’s in it for me, that’s
what prospects care about. They don’t care about you, they don’t care about your offering. They don’t care about your products, or your services, or how
great your service is. What they care about is themselves. Is this conversation going
to be, A, worth my time, and, B, is their solution
going to actually help me solve a problem that I care about? If they can’t answer
affirmatively to either or both of those questions,
then you’re in trouble. We’ve got to make the
conversation about them. Understanding their
concerns, asking questions about their challenges, the
things that they care about. And then, when they see
that it’s about them, now they’re going to be
engaged in a conversation. Because people like to
talk about themselves. People like to talk about
their concerns, or their goals, or whatever it is that
they’re looking to accomplish. By making it about them
and not your offering, now we’re in a position where
we’re much more effective. Number five, get in their shoes. Some really powerful data has shown that top performers
are much more effective at taking the perspectives
of their buyers. So when’s the last time
you’ve really thought through what’s the experience, what’s the buying experience
that my buyer goes through when talking to me, or when
talking to my competitors? Again, I’m not talking about
what’s the value proposition, or what’s your product experience. I’m talking about the actual
experience of buying from you. What’s it feel like, what’s
good, what’s not good? Get in their shoes, start to
think more like your buyers. What do they care about, what are the challenges that they’re facing? What are the reasons that
they do business with you? What are the reasons they do
business with your competitors? Understanding that, and suddenly we’re now really getting into the mind of our buyer. So, when we talk about
the psychology of selling, it’s literally how can we start
to think like our prospect? How can we really understand
what they care about? And then, craft our conversations around what they care about. Number six, we need to create
value through our questions. When you watch those
scenes in The Sopranos, if you’ve ever watched
the show The Sopranos. And you watch the conversation between Tony Soprano and his psychologist. It’s really interesting from a sales perspective as I watch it. Because she’s never
really, the psychologist, is never saying the solution. Tony says he’s got a problem where he’s concerned about this. And then psychologist says, well, help me understand why you say that. Or, how’s that make you feel? Now, these aren’t necessarily
the exact questions that we want to be using in sales. But what you see is that most salespeople when a prospect comes to us and says, oh, I’ve got this problem,
most salespeople say, well, you’re in the right place. We’ve got this awesome new suite of products that are gonna help you. Instead, take a step
back, and create value not through what you’re saying, what you’re pitching,
but instead create value through the questions you’re asking. Help me understand why you say that. What would you say this
challenge is costing you? Or if you were able to solve
this problem what would it mean in additional revenue or
additional profitability? Create the value through the questions, not through the pitching of your ROI, or the pitching of the value
that your service offers. Really, do it through the questions, not through just the actual
statements you’re making. Number seven, no isn’t bad. Let me repeat that, no isn’t bad. This is so important
as a concept in sales, is that most salespeople spend their entire lives trying
to avoid rejection, trying to avoid the
prospect ever saying no. Yet, when you think about it there’s no reason to feel that way. No isn’t a bad thing because
the reality is that about at least 50% of your
prospects are not a good fit. Our data show that at
least 50% of the people that you initially come
across are not going to be a great fit for whatever
it is that you’re selling. So with that said we want
to get to know as quickly as possible with those 50%
that aren’t a good fit. So if it ultimately turns out
that it just isn’t a fit try to identify that as early as possible. And consider that a victory
that it wasn’t a fit because top performers
are spending the majority of their time in front of
qualified prospects, in front of the prospects that want
to do business with them. So the only way that that
can be ensured happens is to make sure that when
you come across someone who’s not a fit is that you
disqualify them and you move on. And what this also does is it
takes off all that pressure. It takes off all that
pressure that the prospect is feeling to do business with you. And, instead, you’re
basically saying, look, I’m not sure if this is going to be a fit. Help me understand what’s going on. Now the prospect feels
so much more comfortable. From a psychology perspective you’ve taken all that pressure off. Now they feel good about this interaction. And at the same time you can too, because you know that if
it’s not a fit you move on. If it is a fit we’re going to explore exactly how it’s a fit. Number eight, if you feel it, say it. Let me repeat that, if
you feel it, say it. One of my mentors used to always say this. And it’s just stuck with me as so true. Quite frankly, even more true
in today’s selling environment where there’s just no
time for wasting time with tire kickers or people
that just aren’t a fit. If your prospect is talking in a way that’s making your gut say, you know what, there’s something not right here, rather than just push through just say it. Just get it out on the table, whatever it is that you’re feeling. And I don’t mean to say that
this has to be confrontational. But let’s say your prospect, it just seems like they’re just not into this. Maybe the timing’s not right,
or they’re not interested, or they just seem distracting
in the meeting, say it. Say, George, I really appreciate
your sitting with me today, but it seems like you’re
pretty distracted right now. Is this maybe not a good time
to be talking about this? And watch them suddenly
say, oh, no, no, no. I’m sorry, I was distracted, but no, no, I do want to have this conversation. Or if they seem like they’re just not interested in what you’re talking about. You say, George, I get the sense
that this just doesn’t seem to be of a lot of interest
to you, is that fair to say? Now, they may say, yeah, you know what, no, I’m not interested. And then you can say, okay, well tell me why you say that, right,
so you dig in there. But they may also come
back and say, no, no, no. No, this is definitely something
that I want to talk about. It’s amazing how you get to the point so much quicker by saying
what you’re feeling. If you feel it, say it. Number nine, get deep
into their challenges. There is something that
I’ve been saying for years, that we need to think like a doctor. We need to stop thinking
like a salesperson, and start thinking like a doctor. This idea of getting deep
into their challenges I think addresses that exact concern. It’s that the typical salesperson,
prospect comes to them and says, oh, you know, we have
this operational challenge. Do you think you can help us? And the typical salesperson says, absolutely, we can help you. We’d happily give you a suite of offerings, whatever, you know. But they’re not going into the challenges. They just identify a
surface level challenge, and then they offer the solution, versus the professional salesperson who thinks like a doctor. So, the prospect says, yeah, we’ve got these operational issues. Do you think you can help us? And the doctor says, well, tell me more about those challenges. Help me understand what’s
going on, dig deeply. Think of it as an iceberg, right, most prospects are willing to discuss what’s at the very top
of the iceberg to anyone. And what we want to do
is go deeper and deeper, and understand what’s really going on to get deep into those challenges. Really, using psychology,
using effective questioning to get into the core
challenge that they’re facing. Number 10, tie those challenges to value. Tie those challenges to value. We talked about going deeper to really understanding what’s going on. Now what we want to do is tie those challenges to a specific value. What is it that if they could solve this challenge what would
it mean in value to them in upside revenue, or
profitability, or savings? Here’s an example, prospect is talking about their marketing challenges, right? And they’re saying,
yeah, just our marketing is not as effective as we’d like. We just feel like we’re not getting the number of leads that we’d like. So, now, you as a salesperson, you’d dig into those
challenges and all that. And then you’d say something
along the lines of, well, George, if you were able to solve these challenges that you’re
facing what would it mean in additional revenue to the organization? Now, what you’re doing
is giving the prospect the opportunity to come
back with a number, right? They might say, oh yeah, well, I mean, jeez we could easily increase revenue by a couple million dollars if we were able to solve these challenges. Now you’ve tied the challenges to some kind of specific tangible value. And it’s their number, it’s their number. By the way, even if you’re
on the consumer side, you’re selling to consumers, there’s still a value in
solving their challenges. So I doesn’t have to
necessarily be a number. But what is that value to
solving those challenges? Or what is that challenge
really costing them right now? Number 11, make it a two-way dialogue. Psychology shows us that when people are actually speaking that’s
when they’re most engaged. When they’re listening
they’re maybe engaged, but they’re less likely
to be really engaged. So what you want to do is
even when you’re presenting you want it to be a back and forth. You want it to be a two-way conversation where there’s never a period where you’re just going, on,
and on, and on, and on. And talking about your
service, or your product, or your offering, or the
value that you create. You want to only be going
on for a little bit, and then reengaging them
back into the conversation. If it is truly a two-way conversation you are going to close
a lot more of your sales because it means that they have to be engaged if it’s a two-way dialogue. Keep that back and forth,
anytime you present something say something like, so
now that I’ve shown you that I want to understand,
does that make sense based on what we’re talking about? Get them back into the conversation. Number 12, budget comes later. This is one of the most important things is that we don’t want to
start our conversation by talking about our price
or talking about money at the beginning of the conversation. We want that to come at the
end of the discovery process. What that would look like is we’ve gone through the challenges, we’ve gone through what
the upside value is. We’ve gone through really
understanding the whole issue. And now it’s time to talk about budget. So you might ask a question like, you know, George, typically
a solution based on what I’m hearing the challenges are, typically a solution
for what we’ve discussed could range anywhere
from 100,000 to 500,000. Where on that spectrum could
you see yourself fitting? Now what you’ve done is you’ve given a range of potential budgets. By the way, it’s a pretty big range, 100,000 and $500,000, huge range. And now we’re letting them
come back and say, oh, I feel like I could, you
know, potentially 300 or 100. And if you’ve really built
an effective connection throughout your process you’re
going to get that answer. You’re gonna get that insight. Make sure that it’s coming
later in the process, though, after you’ve really
built that connection, after you’ve really built that value. Number 13, feedback loops, feedback loops. I said earlier we want to make our presentation a two-way dialogue. And the feedback loops are simply those little questions when
we’re talking to people that are pulling them back
into that conversation. And feedback loops are something that I use all the time
with every single person in my life because it’s so effective. If you ever find yourself going on and on, or talking for more than, you know, let’s say 60 seconds, stop and just say, so before I go any further,
does this make any sense? Or do you see what I’m saying,
or does that work for you? Right, these little questions that are pulling people back
into the conversation. The data shows that these little questions are not only reengaging
people in the conversation, but it’s also creating
little moments of buy-in. Little, basically, think of them as almost like a mini close in the conversation. You’re pulling them closer,
and closer, and closer. That way by the end of the presentation, assuming they’ve been on
the same page with you, and they like what you’re
saying, then the only question to close is, what would
you like to do next? There is no hard close because you’ve used these feedback loops all
throughout the process. And now all you’re doing is just establishing what’s the next step. There is the psychology of selling, the 13 steps to selling
that actually works. I want to hear from you, which of these ideas did you find most useful? Be sure to share below
in the comments section to get involved in the conversation. And if you enjoyed this video, then I have an awesome free eBook on 25
tips to crush your sales goal. Just click right here to get it instantly. Seriously, just click
right here, it’s free. Also, if you got some value, please like this video below on YouTube. And be sure to subscribe to my channel by clicking my face
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38 thoughts on “The Psychology of Selling: 13 Steps to Selling that Actually Work

  1. If you feel it, say it.

    It’s cutting to the chase, and as I apply it to some past experiences, I see it saving time, as well as being much more professional than “pushing through it” hoping that the feeling is wrong,

  2. Great advice Mark. I’ve got a question for you. The product I sell is pricy. It’s a nation wide product so I don’t have any boundaries. The thing is. People are getting very interested. Even though the product is pricy. When it comes to credibility is when I’m not closing enough sales. How could I brake that credibility barrier and close more sales on the phone?

  3. Great video!
    It is really great how this content change my perspective, there is always room for improvement.
    Check out eMINDSCLUB, it is a great business community, a really great place to connect with other entrepreneurs.

  4. Only honest sales people can follow Marc's methods. This is not for the sales people who whenever they look at a person they see a wallet. Its not for those that are out there to only rip people off and to make economic value only for themselves. You need genuine honesty for this.

  5. Hello Mr Wayshak,
    I love your videos but I have a question. If I have an good idea for a new product but I have not the money to make my idea real, how can I meet people who can help me, for example how can I sell my product to them?

  6. Hey man I went to your website And subscribed to your email list for the e-book and I subscribed to your channel but I never received the e-book in my email, could you help me out?

  7. Great video. I liked the idea to take on surgical doctor mentality. I know a few salesmen that have more experience and more money but they have a habit of saying yes to everyone like a typical salesman. It's actually a bad habit to say yes to everyone because a man only has a certain number of hours in a day

  8. Nice way of putting it, the Dr example lol, but I'd put it in Jehovah's witness scenario, true, look at it as if you were Jehovah's witness, you immediately know they're gonna pressure so just back and be real genuine, ask questions

  9. I just got a job in sales and for the last two months I've been pouring over sales material and this video is my favorite so far. Its valuable information, delivered clear and concisely.

  10. I think step 8, 10 and 13 are most useful. In my sale experience, I always guess what prospects are thinking. If the prospects are not in conversation, then I don't know how to go on with it. It's a good idea: feel it and say it. I will try later. Thank you.

  11. I'm starting a call center job in a few days where I need to cold call. Watched so many Videos of your channel that made me soo much more confident.
    Thank you so much! You're fucking great!!

  12. One more message, I used to book musicians, and coordinate a few large blues festivals. If you are in need of this in your staffing. Would love to work from home. If anyone out there needs an appointment setter etc.. feel free to message me. Glenna

  13. Very good!!! Also we must remember we cannot close everyone. It's just the way it is. So don't let that stop you from continuing on to the neXt presentation. Analyze why the presentation didn't close and then move on. Many sales people let this bother them and do not allow themselves to let it go – move on to the neXt presentation. In many cases it's not the salesperson. If prospects are not buying, guess what, they're not buying. Move on. It's a numbers game!!!!

  14. great content! My take-aways are dig deeper into their challenges, make it a two-way conversation and feedback loops. The latter is so rarely used and can save precious time on both sides realizing whether there is a good fit or not.

  15. Pressure in my work is killing me.the managers are asking me to make the close. As fast as possible.its no good this business.

  16. Bro I’ve been in sales for a year (nationally ranked sales rep) and your videos are awesome! So simple and direct. If only all sales reps were aware of this mabye we would have a better reputation lol. There are good sales reps out there!

  17. Thanks for the great piece of knowledge you shared, Marc. There was a lot of helpful content.

  18. I'm not able to download ebook :/ its driving me on a page saying reserve your seat ! I want to learn more

  19. Okay, so I used the reverse psychology method on a woman who kept saying she'd call me back, and then when I'd call because she didn't, she never picked up. Finally got her on the phone. Told her "I've been in this business a long time and it sounds like this might not be of value to you." She responds OMG NO IT IS- LIFE IS CRAZY! LET'S MEET FRIDAY AT 3:30PM THANKS!!! My first call of the day!

  20. Hi Marc, Account Director here, love your channel. I am wondering about two points in this video. You say to move on quickly from prospects who are not a good fit. However you also say to not talk budget up front. Couldn't not talking budget early on lead to wasting time on clients who can't afford to do what they are trying to accomplish with whatever business the sales person works for? Thanks for all the great content!

  21. As a sales associate of an optical clinic, my number one tip is don't over sell your product. You should always include the the downside or the drawback of your product. It may seem odd but that's how you gain the trust of the customer by making them feel how honest you are. And of course, always listen to their needs and avoid making arguments with them. You should know that your role is to always find solution. And if you think you can't help them, tell them honestly. They'll pretty sure to ask you again

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