The Loneliness Epidemic

The Loneliness Epidemic

How has the most connected society in history also become the loneliest? It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come. In just a matter of years, we’ve gone from phone calls to text messages to video chat. In an instant we can ring up a family member across the world and feel more connected with them given the distance then we could have at any other point in history. This was science fiction in the 20th century. It’s during that same period of innovation that brought us one-click shopping: anything we could need delivered to our door the same day. And so we bought, and stored, and used, and replaced a generation living better than Louis the fourteenth, yet finding ourselves more secluded than ever. Why do people, even after they have their basic needs met with all the tools we have available, why are we not only unhappy, but largely depressed? Author and journalist Johann Hari set out across the world to speak with leading experts on depression, anxiety, and loneliness to discover both how we’ve gotten to this place and more importantly how do we as individuals in a society start to turn the tide? This is my 20-minute interview with Johann about what he learned from that research. All right, so why don’t we start out with a little bit of a intro about yourself and about your work. I really- I write my book “Lost Connections” because there were the- these two mysteries that were really hanging over me for years Look, I was quite afraid to look into them in some ways The first mystery is I’m 40 years old and every year that I’ve been alive Depression and anxiety have increased here in the United States, in Britain, and across the Western world Right and I kept asking myself Why? Why is this happening? Why are so many more of us each year that passes finding it hard to get through the day right and I guess I wanted to understand that from because I’m a more personal mystery When I was a teenager Remember going to my doctor and explaining that I had this feeling like a pain was leaking out of me out So I put it at the time and I felt Very ashamed of it I felt Confused by it I didn’t understand why it was happening And my doctor told me a story that, and now realized were speaking to the leading scientists in the world on this was oversimplified Right. My doctor said we know why people feel like this. It’s just cuz of a problem in your brain There’s a chemical called serotonin that makes people feel good Some people are naturally lacking it. You’re clearly one of them. All we need to do is give you some drugs You’re gonna feel better so I started taking a chemical anti-depressant called Paxil and I felt significantly better for a few months and Then this feeling of pain came back. So I’m back doctor said wanna get high enough dose. I was gonna hide dose again I felt better again. The feeling of pain came back and I was really in this cycle of taking higher and higher doses until for thirteen years I was taking the maximum dose you’re allowed to take at the end of which I was still really depressed And I was surrounded by people who are becoming more and more depressed So I just forced myself really to start looking into this. So I ended up going on this big journey for the book I travelled over 40,000 miles I wanted to meet the leading experts in the world about what causes depression and anxiety And what solves them most importantly so I’m at you know Not just leading experts, but just a crazy mixture of people with different perspectives from an Amish village in Indiana Cuz the Amish have very low levels of depression to a city in Brazil that banned Advertising to see if that would make people feel better to a lab in Baltimore than where they were giving people Psychedelics to see if that would help and I learned a huge number of things but the core of what I learned Is that there’s scientific evidence for nine different causes of depression and anxiety Two of them are in fact biological. My doctor wasn’t wrong and Your genes can make you more vulnerable to these problems just like some people find it easier to put on weight than others and There are real changes in your brain that begin when you become depressed that can make it harder to get out but most of the factors that cause depression or anxiety are not in our biology. Most of the factors for which there’s scientific evidence are Factors in the way we’re living and what I learned in the process of writing the book and speaking to so many Scientists is once you understand the causes of depression or anxiety in this more complex way Opens up a much broader range of possible solutions that I saw being pinned Just all over the world And these are solutions that we need to be explaining to people and offering to them alongside not instead of but as an option alongside Chemical antidepressants why is society at large? Reacting in this way. What do you think are some of the influences on people’s well-being? That’s leading to the higher and higher rates and depression and anxiety I’ll give you an example of one of the nine causes that arrived at in lost connections. We are below Lea’s society There’s ever been there’s a study that asks Americans how many close friends do you have you could turn to in a crisis and When they started doing this years ago The most common answer was five today the most common answer not the average but the most common answer is none half of all Americans Asked how many people know you well say Nobody right? I spent a lot of time talking to an amazing man called professor John Cacioppo is that it was the leading expert in the world on loneliness. He was at the University of Chicago And he explained to me Why are we alive you and me and everyone watching this? Why do we exist? One key reason is that our ancestors on the savannah’s of Africa were really good at one thing They weren’t bigger than the animals they took down. They weren’t faster than the animals they took down But they were much better at banding together into groups and cooperating just like bees evolved to live in a hive Humans evolved to live in a tribe and if you think about the circumstances where we evolved if you were cut off from the tribe You were depressed and anxious for really good reasons. You weren’t terrible danger you were about to die Those are still the impulses we have we are the first humans ever In the long 2 million year history of our species to try to disband our tribes and is making us feel awful So a key thing for me was not just to understand these problems. But ok. How do we solve those problems? Right and one of the heroes of my book Lost Connections is an amazing man called. Dr Sam ever Hampton who pioneered a whole different approach based on this understanding so Sam was a general practitioner in East London poor part of East London where I live for a long time and Sam was really uncomfortable because he had loads of patients coming to him with terrible depression and anxiety And like me he thinks there’s some role for chemical antidepressants But he could also see most of the people he was giving them to did become depressed again And he could see that they were depressed and anxious for perfectly understandable reasons Right like to give one of the examples I took about in the book loneliness So he decided to pioneer a different approach one day a woman came to see him called Lisa Cunningham He’d been shut away in our home with dreadful depression and anxiety for seven years and Sam said to Lisa. Don’t worry I’ll carry on giving you these drugs. I’m also gonna suggest something else. There was an area behind the doctors the suite of doctors offices There was no known as dog share alley which gives you sense of what it was like just kind of scrubland Sam said to Lisa what I’d like you to come and do is turn out a few times a week I’m gonna come to you cuz I’ve been pretty anxious We’re gonna meet with a group of other depressed and anxious people. And we’re gonna find something to do together as a group, right the first time the group met Lisa was literally physically sick with anxiety But the group starts talking they’re like, what can we do? These are inner-city East London people They don’t know anything about gardening they decided they’re going to teach themselves gardening right gonna turn dogshit alley into a beautiful garden So they started watching YouTube. They start to read books They start to get their fingers in the soil. They start to learn the rhythms of the seasons There’s a lot of evidence that exposure to the natural world is a really powerful Antidepressant start to do something even more important. They started to form a tribe they started to form a group they started to care about each other and you know, if If one person didn’t turn up, they’d go and look for them. They’d see if they were okay They did what human beings do when they’re part of tribes. They started to solve each other’s problems The way Lisa put it to me as the garden began to bloom. We began to bloom There was a study in Norway of a very similar program found. It was more than twice as effective as chemical antidepressants. I Think for an obvious reason, right? It was dealing with some of the reasons why they felt so bad in the first place and this is something I saw all over The world from Sydney to São Paulo
to San Francisco the most effective strategies for dealing with depression and anxiety Are the ones that deal with the reasons why we’re in such distress in the first place? You said that we’re living in the loneliest society. There’s ever been how Can that possibly be with all of these tools at our fingertips, right we have social media We have the ability to connect and interact with anybody in an instant I can FaceTime my mom in a second. And if she picks up then we can I can see her face to face has social media Played some part in the fact that we are lonely This is a complex question and with a complex answer So the glib answer is to go, yeah social media did this to us. Is this too simplistic? To understand this I went to the first-ever internet rehab center in the world. It’s in just outside Spokane in Washington State It’s called restart, Washington. I remember I’ve arrived there. It’s a clearing in the woods I get out. I got out the car and absolutely instinctively I looked at my phone to check my email and felt really pissed off. I couldn’t see it go. There was no reception I was like, oh wait you came to the right place? Right and I spent a fair bit of time there and it’s totally fascinating They get a whole range of people at restart Washington, but they disproportionately get Young men who become obsessed with these multiplayer role-playing games like World of Warcraft or not at the time that I was there but now fortnight right and I’m about Dr. Hillary cash the amazing woman who runs this Center Sent me that you’ve got to ask yourself What are these young men getting out of these games? Because they’re getting something right? I think what they’re getting is a Kind of hollow version of the things they used to get from the society But they no longer get they get a sense of a tribe they get a sense of status and they can gain in status They get a sense. They’re good at something they get a sense. They’re moving around Young people barely leave their homes. Now. It’s incredible the figures for how rarely children play outdoors but what they’re getting is, I started to think that the relationship between say these these games or For media and social life is like the relationship between porn and sex, right? I’m not against porn don’t meet a certain basic edge But if your entire sex life consisted of looking at porn you’d be going around pissed off and irritated the whole time Because we didn’t evolve to masturbate over screens We evolved to have sex right that wouldn’t meet your deeper needs in the same way I’m not obviously not against the internet would be ridiculous, right? But we didn’t evolve to talk through screens, right We didn’t evolve to look at each other and interact through with our friends through screens If you and I was speaking even via Skype now I wouldn’t feel you were seeing me and you wouldn’t feel you was the other way around In the way that we feel that we are seeing and hearing each other now, right? human beings have a need to be seen and The leading expert on loneliness in the world professor John Cacioppo said gave me good little rule of thumb. He said If social media is a way station for meeting people offline or staying in touch with them that you’ll see offline It’s a good thing if it’s the last stop on the line generally something’s gone wrong But he’s I think we have to think about as well the moment in human history when social media arrives Right a lot of the causes of depression and anxiety that I write about in my book loss connections Were already supercharged by then by the late 90s the early 2000s loneliness have gone up Values have gone up a whole range of things And what happens is the internet arrives and it looks a lot like the things we’ve lost You’ve lost friends. Here’s a load of Facebook friends. You’ve lost status Make some status updates, right but it’s not the thing. We’ve lost. It’s a kind of Parody of the thing we’ve lost and what we need to do in very practical ways is restore The thing we’ve lost it seems like today. We have a lot of distractions That could potentially pull us away from that connection It seems like a lot of people are driven through consumerism and materialism and Many of us are safer and have more than ever have before the size of homes has increased steadily since the 1930s and 40s is there any correlation between material wealth and Happiness, one of the things I found most challenging in the research for the book because I could see how much it played out in my own life Was some research by an amazing man called Professor Tim Casa So everyone knows junk food has taken over our diets and made us physically sick right as I can tell from my chins I’m not immune to this myself But it’s equally strong evidence that a kind of junk of values have taken over our minds and made us mentally sick Professor Kass showed. So for thousands of years Philosophers have said, you know if you think a life is about money and status and shoving off. You’re gonna feel like shit, right? It’s not an exact quote from Confucius. But that is the gist of what he said, right? But no one scientifically investigated this until professor Kassar And he showed a few I think really important things Firstly he showed the more you think life is about money and status and shoving off The more likely you are to become depressed and anxious by a really quite significant amount I think this is because we’re going a little bit beyond professor kasih here, but I think this is because Everyone knows they have natural physical needs right? You need food. You need water. You need shelter. You need clean air If I took those things away from you. You’ll been real trouble real fast, and there is equally strong evidence that all human beings have natural psychological means You need to feel you belong you need to feel your life has meaning and purpose. You need to feel that people See you and value you beautifully. You’ve got a future that makes sense and our culture is good at lots of things I’m glad to be alive today but we’ve been getting less and less good and meeting these deep underlying psychological needs if you think partly because there’s many factors going on but partly because if you think life is about money and and Displaying that money that’s gonna divert you from the things you actually do need to have a a meaningful and satisfying life But professor Cass also said something else. So you showed the more you follow these junk values The more likely while to become depressed and anxious He also showed as a society as a culture. We have become much more driven by these junk bodies It’s a cliche to say to your viewers You won’t lie on your deathbed and think about what the likes you’ve got on Instagram and all the shoes you bought right? You’ll think about moments of love and meaning and connection in your lives. But as Professor Casa puts it we live in a machine That’s designed to get us to neglect What is important about life right more eighteen-month-old children know what the McDonald’s M means the know their own last name? we’re immersed in a machinery that tells us how to do this professor Gossard had really interesting research about how we How we undo some of that and some of it was really simple he got a group of people to me once every couple of weeks for four months and just talk about firstly consumer objects, they thought they had to have things like Nike sneakers Once they talked out loud how do you think your life will be different when you’ve got them didn’t take long for people to start seeing maybe this is Bullshit that’s been implanted in my head by advertising but then there were important bit was they’ve got people to talk about well What are moments That’s not a moment that’s gonna make you feel satisfied What are moment’s you have actually felt your life was meaningful satisfying, but we’ll talk about different things to some people It was playing music some people it was swimming some people it was writing whatever it was and and they started saying well How could you build more of that into your life seeking more of that and doing more of that and less of? seeking this kind of junk value stuff and Just that process of meeting every couple of weeks and checking in with each other and explaining how they try to do it Led to a measurable. They did a good scientific study at this Immeasurable shift in people’s values to become less materialistic, which we know relates to less depression and anxiety. Now of course is the case that And a guy professor richard Laird has done research on this if you don’t have a baseline of material goods right If you are in poverty that makes you then you are going to be unhappy But once you’ve actually reached a fairly low level of income that you’re not actually wanting the basic things additional money makes, you know happier and actually Constantly seeking it leads to a corruption of values that makes significantly more unhappy We talked a little bit before we sat down here about Marie Kondo and minimalism and this movement of people rejecting consumerism and materialism to live with less stuff to purchase less things to Focus less on status in their lives Do you think I’m curious Just what your your thoughts on this this movement towards less is and if you think in some way it will help people Figure out their values again and reset these junk values that we’ve created for ourselves I haven’t looked into any huge amount of detail, but We live in a hurricane of messages Telling us The answer to our pain and distress lies in shopping, right? This is a really interesting study that was done in 1978 really simple You get a bunch of five year olds you Divide them into two groups first group is shown two advertisements For whatever the equivalent to like Dora the Explorer or the Teletubbies was in 1978. I forget what it was Second group is shown no advertisements then all the kids are told Hey kids got a choice now You can either play with a nice boy who doesn’t have the toy in the embarrassment or you can play with a nasty boy Who’s got the toy? The kids had seen just two advertisements overwhelmingly chose the nasty boy who had the toy and The kids who haven’t seen their advertisements overwhelmingly chose the nice boy who didn’t have the toy right? So just two ads just two We’re enough to prime those kids to choose an inanimate lump of plastic over the possibility of fun and connection, right? Every single person watching your video has seen more than two ads today right more than two advertising messages. So we’re living in this hurricane of messages Bombarding us with a very particular before Advertising sells any specific product. It sells the idea that the solution lies in Purchasing things right? I mean imagine Advertising is the ultimate frenemy right? It’s saying babe I love you. I think you’re great. But if you didn’t stink I mean, I’m just saying if you weren’t so hairy, I’m just saying, right. It’s the ultimate yeah, it’s It worked. The premise of is it has to make you dissatisfied right? I mean in the advertised you look at what advertising people say internally to each other they’re very candid about this they call it invented once right because actually The things that we need are relatively limited The whole machinery has to be built around making us feel inadequate and then making us by the solution right? So I think Movements that say, you know, I’m just gonna purge this shit right back That is not the answer right? Of course. There are nice things. We all like to have nice things I have some nice things but the idea that this ceaseless Treadmill are buying and displaying useless bullshit The idea that we might want to step off that treadmill and go Maybe I’ve got a limited amount of time in which to be alive. Maybe I’ll spend my time on things that are more meaningful seems to me to be a really positive step Thanks for watching this video If you want to get the full 40 minute interview with Johan you can get it at slash Matt de Bella Thanks for watching and we’ll see you next time

100 thoughts on “The Loneliness Epidemic

  1. Loneliness isn't depressing. I just do some deep breathing and work around the house. I have volunteered teaching English to immigrants but enjoy my solitude and enjoy chatting and joking with my wife. Meditation helps and just accepting reality as it is. People usually disappoint so best not depend on them.

  2. The more social media flourishes, the less relevant we are. We give up our individuality for a false sense of belonging.

  3. Ordinary men hate solitude . But the master makes use of it embracing his aloneness , realizing he is one with the Universe . Tao Te Ching

  4. Well you are all bloody

  5. U milkenuals f this wrld up w bad behavior. Work sleep work sleep. Im glad im blk. We r so happy. Everybodyelse act like thy gonna die or something.

  6. 90% of your serotonin is produced in the gut by microbes, this was pretty recently discovered. If you eat processed food, over the counter drugs, sugar, antibiotics, etc it will kill the good gut bacteria and less serotonin will be produced along with all sorts of illnesses. Solution: eat fresh food and lots of veggies and drink only water. I was depressed for over 10 years and I have tried everything from antihistamine to lithium to cure my depression and I was close to getting electroconvulsive therapy. I got diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar disorder. Funny thing is when I found Dr. Rhonda Patrick on the Joe Rogan podcast everything changed for me. I started with fresh food, water, and intermittent fasting and excluded gluten. All to heal my gut and help grow the good bacteria. I did not exercise or anything like that, the focus was only to make my gut bacteria "normal" again. I haven't been depressed or had any ADHD issues for about three years now, without any medications at all. The symptoms disappeared within weeks (i was suicidal). I strongly advise everybody to try this simple treatment before you go on heavy medications. Since I started eating this way I have only had one tiny cold in three years, I used to get the flu and cold's all the time before. The topic of this video might be a contributing factor but I'm convinced ALOT of depressed people are depressed for the same reason I was. I'm still very lonely and isolated because I work from home, but I'm not depressed, I feel great! Btw, it does not matter if you are skinny or fat, you could still have a gut bacteria problem. It can take up to ten years for the gut bacteria to come back to life after one treatment of antibiotics. I hope this helps someone to get well again, best of luck to you. You are welcome to send me a pm if you want my help.


  8. As a introvert who barely needs or even wants real social interaction, it is quite a good time to be alive i would say.
    But i get why alot of people get depressed who need this kind of stuff.

  9. First of all, if you are depressed, seek professional help through a program, whatever it is the reason. Every country has them, but don´t stay alone at home. Fight for your life, for your happiness and chaise your dreams, just make sure those are not trivial.
    One month ago, I was chatting with a man from London. He told me that he had recently been operated. I asked if he had someone who could help him and he said he hadn´t. I asked if he had a relative close to him. He answered that they lived far from him. I asked again if he had to go through all this alone. He said – Yes, this works like this here. I told him – Well, time to change that.
    Loneliness is a kind of social violence but there is not an only reason. I find that Western culture has trivialized many things that were important in the past, as sexuality for debauchery; maternity for professional life; family for distant relationships; marriage for concubinage; recreation for sex, alcohol, drugs and in some cases activities of life or death. Junk values don´t exist; a value makes you a better person, someone with wisdom. That is why I disagree completely wth the interviewed about porn. To say "ok, do it a bit but not all time" it is a stupidity. Porn has a toxic mental effect. Nobody begins watching porn 24 x 7, it is a process of an illusory sex life. In fact, this is changing, many people are more into practices like cybersex, cam sex and/or telephone sex instead. The need for connectedness is there and people can´t even masturbate without having a kind of feedback. On the other hand, some people seek casual sex or sex with strangers, but that uses to lead to emptiness. Everyone can decide how to live but a meaningful life can never be trivial. There is no reason to settle for a fragmentary society. It is good to talk about this topic, to write about thoughts and feelings. But it is most important what we are really doing to change that. Ok, problem is now ideantified but and then?

  10. There are many lonely people around. I wish it was not so. It can be for many reasons. A person can feel lonely even in a crowed. I have never felt lonely. But many people do my good thought go to them. There are people out there who care and want to keep them company and even love them. There is a lack of love in this world. Mother nature is a great help for giving out the love.

  11. Men are whining about being lonely? I'm almost 65, and I've listened to two generations of your vicious chatter full of epithets and insults. Listen to yourselves and don't blame your humiliation on technology. It's your mouths, men.

  12. I’m alone in this world but Never lonely. I’m free I love my freedom from ppl. I socialize to the very minimum because I need small percentage of society.

    I don’t have any social media none. I’ve not watched cable tv in almost 4 years, And I use YouTube as a learning tool to better myself. I’ve escape the matrix, red pill forever happiness is everything in life and it’s something I could never achieve with ppl around me even family.

  13. The problem is most adults 25 and over wont learn to change whatever habits , etc. they are going through unless through massive trauma. It’s a reason why people go through near death experiences, major health conditions , etc. and then they realize what really matters . Wake up before any of that is needed is real gold. Realize everyone is part of YOUR world and biggest value of life is time. Not the other way around. Literally the answer and once you realize this and believe it, everything will flow. You start to not waste your time and everyone who you spend time with, you dont take for granted. Your interactions with others will change as you realize they are speaking to you in your world, not the other way around. Realize we live in a quantum reality, not the Newtonian way

  14. Before technology we didn't have a choice but to interract wiht people. Now, we choose when to answer the phone or when to neet up for a drink. How many times have we "declined" a call?

  15. Wow. When youŕe lonely you feel like you´re the only one. I am not. There are millions. But I found this channel helped me a lot:

  16. We are on the brink of human extinction and our bodies know this, all mammals are losing their habitat and so are we, make everyday count and try to enjoy it.

  17. Good video, but it’s crazy how they managed to go 20 min without mentioning what that “treadmill” we’re running on is: Global Capitalism. And there’s no escape hatch, unless we make one. I’d suggest people go watch Angie Speak’ video essay on Loneliness for a more systemic critique of this issue

  18. I've been going to my local Senior Center which had as a nucleus a lunch program. There was a push on to expand that into something more that would involve the people through activities. Working with the director we managed to get a pool table. That made all the difference. Now we have two pool tables and the center is open and used for most of the day. Having a monthly tournament encouraged not only greater participation but enough of a sense of friendly competition that the pool players became kind of a subculture. Now every day we are down there practicing in preparation for the monthly tournament. No stupid prizes, we simply post the score board with a picture of the winner. People love to interact and friendly competition encourages self commitment and a sense of belonging.

  19. "Junk Values" couldn't say any better
    Internet is like food, some use it wisely, and some use it badly, however you have to consume it with moderation, otherwise it will eat you.

  20. Funny how you mention King Louie The King Who never really died it's written in history books that he died but he became ruler of this country but in order to get this info you need to search like you searched to make this video everything is a lie until you do your research if I mention anymore ill give it all away peace

  21. im ok being alone.after 3 devoraces.and good friends passing away.and a bunch of good.i have my land and dogs

  22. I think some people who do have deeper values and are removed from the shopping bug are still feeling lonliness. In my experience one can easily find themselves on an island just because of that plus the extreme business of everyone else it can feel like pulling teeth to arrange in-person gatherings.

  23. Zero respect. Doesn't talk about the agenda to do this to us all. We're being emf'd n nano particled and gmo'd n chipped to death for the introduction of the mass destruction of 5G. . Military grade weaponised muck to zap us all. They're already ordering ppl to kill n mame via mind control. Project depopulation will see number reduced to 500 million. It's been in the planning for years and years and years. WAKE UP PPL. DITCH YOUR TECH. ALL SMART TECH IN THE BIN

  24. Lucifer within the elites made us separate long ago to destroy humanity. We are all one. One consciousness. Love is the answer people. Love is the only truth. Read orwells 1984 and brave new world and see this appearing before your eyes ….. 😢

  25. If you starve your brain from the right fuel then you easily become depressed/unhappy. So eat the right amount of kcal (mostly carbs and 3000kcal per day for a man), sleep enough and do the things you like to do. If i look around what people eat (junk and death) and only sleep 6-7h no wonder their life is grey.

  26. I wanna hangout out with friends and have a good time while I see my other friends having fun, I’m just at home doing nothing and it’s giving me anxiety and depression, I had depression back in 7th grade and I almost killed my self, and it’s back again, I miss spending time with people

  27. The Irony – to get the full interview about consuming to meet our wants – You need to visit Patreon and pay for it – HAHA

  28. There is something wrong with human society if people are more and more alone in a world that is more and more overpopulated.

  29. Life makes no sense. When you accept that, life makes sense. Kinda profound, huh!

    What I mean is if you truly accept life has no logical meaning then you get it, life isn't meant to be fair or logical and then you just accept everything and you're not so depressed! One of the main reasons people are depressed is our innate inability to accept or overcome hardships in life. "I'm so depressed because blah blah blah…" If you accept most of the crap in life you'll be less depressed. If you turn on the news or click a news link on your phone and hear or read about a mass shooting you're likely to think. "how awful, the world is a terrible place" but if you were to think "bad things happen, it's sad but so what, not my problem!" you'll be less depressed. You're re-training your mind to not react so negatively to hardship. The natural result is your mind is less depressed. It's not a magic cure to depression but it probably helps to accept hardship in life rather than moaning about it. Wallowing in your misery or loneliness will never cure you of depression.

  30. No man is an island. Also, consider, a very, very old plan to demoralize and control the masses. The greatest weapon the "government" ever had was television (3 sets in every home). This wonderful weapon has been suplanted by the cell phone. It's all catching up to us. AVOID MEDIA as often as you can. God bless

    P.S. Very good video, very smart man. Thank you

  31. I love this. But, on the other end of the spectrum, a lot of people use Social Media as a scapegoat to not feel so lonely. It's a Catch 22. And a vicious cycle…

  32. Tad short slighted to presume everyone self medicates the human condition by buying shit they dont need. Not the case. I also dont define my existence by using facebook or instagram and have been clinically depressed for years. Word salad. Dont let yourself be influenced by mainstream advertising. Stop watching tv adverts, thats a start. Theyve never made me buy anything I dont need anyway. If you are that ignorant and susceptible then its your own fault. Im an introvert…… so dont need to be a round a lot of people to feel satisfied. Most people often seem to tire me out, especially if they have little to say of any interest or anything that demontrates any depth. Its either current affairs nonsense, gossip or what you doing today, what you doing tomorrow, what did you do yesterday? Zzzzz. Take me to the mountains with my mountain bike to unplug.

  33. Loneliness or persecution

    Choose your poison

    Depression is like a light on your dashboard telling you somethings wrong. You can't turn out the light without dealing with the issues and expect it to be fine.

  34. I just lost the opportunity to meet face to face a couple of interesting people because of I am watching this video

  35. I talked to someone since February for a date last week we had plans to meet and the person choked. People have become pussies .

  36. Strange, gay male, im always alone, NEVER had a single friend. I bake my own cake and sing happy birthday to myself, i buy an wrap my own gift for christmas. I have no one in the world, and have NEVER felt sad or lonely. Reach out to me if u need help not letting loneliness destroy u. I think it starts with loving urself. I like myself, enjoy my own company. Sadly its a natural need for many to know others like us to verify that approval. Once u get over that need of foreign approval u can heal

  37. This is the BEST video I've seen in ages and believe me I watch a lot of them. I have thought often of how I used to have friends and now I have none. I have many acquaintances but nobody close to me. My husband is pretty close but not now or ever probably will be as close as I wish. I've attributed this loneliness in my life to many things but this video and all the comments made me feel better only in the sense that I'm not alone in this. I have thought about forming an organization that deals with this on a human to human – face to face (not face-book) level. There needs to be a humanity RESET!

  38. Phantom tribes and phantom friends confused for real tribes and real friends. Most of us know where the breakdown is. But the solution is not easy. Society is stratified by economics, by race, by gender, by age and a slew of values like whether you are popular or not, whether one is good-looking or not etc.. He called it Junk Values. Good term. Junk values have hopelessly balkanized societies. That means no solution, until humans begin interacting spontaneously on the streets, in the neighborhood, at the supermarket and wherever. And learn to laugh, to look strangers in the eye on the streets and smile and acknowledge them. Ditch the crass culture you imbibed subliminaly from the movies, and stop acting as in the movies. That is sanity. That depression will go away.

  39. Nowadays is all about being the best, the one that makes more money, the most popular, the one with the hottest body, and also is all about instant gratification ( who can please me right now), people now see each other as something disposable, that's really sad but that's the reality.

  40. I never feel all of the above mentioned because I have a close relationship with God, and because I cultivate my relationship with him and always grateful for his blessings, a disconnection with the spiritual self is dangerous and destructive ! I always pray for the lonely 🙏🏻

  41. Here's the answer. We are all physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual beings. We've been taught how to exercise each one of these levels of ourselves for maximum health, peace, and well being. HOW many people do you KNOW that is taking care of his spiritual self? None. You ignore who you really are, remain groveling in the flesh, and reject the Source to which holds all answers. You want to buy a book? Get the Bible to READ and STUDY for every answer to every question and available to the seekers of truth. Or, Johann's a nice guy, buy his book and learn how to build a garden and hook up with a few people until harvest time. Keep seeking the ideas of man instead of the Plan of God who told you to put Him FIRST and all else will fall together. He said he made the world so that you would never be satisfied with it…so that you will need Him. You rejected Him. He is the one who loves you…unconditionally…as you are.

  42. I chose to remain alone because HUMANS on this planet lack empathy and honesty. Anyone can smile in your face. This world only cares for money. Mental illness is a direct result of this societies morals for a happy life. Money is not the answer. Materialism is not the answer.

  43. A Parea in the. Greek culture is group of friends who regularly gather together to share their experiences about life ,their philosophies ,values and ideas .The Parea is really a venue for the growth of human spirit, the development of friendships and the exploration of ideas to enrich our quality of life .In Greece the Area is a long lasting circle and cycle of life nourished by the people who participate…

  44. The most friends I ever had was back in the 1980's before the internet, cell phones, home computers etc. But we were also young and single so spending time together was important and we helped each other out. After you hit 30 if you're still single the number of friends starts dropping off rapidly. If you're still not permanently coupled by age 40, forget it! You're a outcast. People are still nice to you and seem to like you, but the message is clear – you're not part of the tribe any more. We no longer have time for you.

  45. How has the most connected society become the most lonely? It's called corporate capitalism, designed to segregate, and create unnecessary competition among all of us. Human beings are a communal, tribal, social species. The ruling elite have used consumerism to feed upon our desires, the cult of the self has killed us… Check out this Adam Curtis Film if you have that desire to understand in a fundamental way, how we got here:

  46. Everything is collapsing, how could we not be depressed???

  47. I am in the same position. I am struggling with isolation and trying to force myself to socialize with people outside of social media. I am planning on taking myself off Facebook.

  48. What if the loneliest people are the ones that other people don't actually want to be around. What if now, people can and do choose not to be around curtain types of people? Take involuntary celibates for example, they don't get laid mostly because they are the type of people who don't compel others to be attracted tot them and actually actively repel potential partners.
    People who are actively involved in in person social communities seem to be doing much better off then the people who choose not to interact, and the people who choose to interact but not appealing choices as friend.
    If people choose to isolate themselves then it seems common sense that they would be lonely.
    I don't personally know anyone who this video would apply to. . . . Maybe because I am involved in many very social groups that are heavily engaged in the community. . . .

  49. Im doing a study…..NO joke and its a study of the area I now reside in……its an area in the Southeastern US thats not secluded has urban and rural mix but has a low low level of pay & unemployment high drug abuse & shiftless people…in summary people without high purpose and basic needs beyond met tend to SELF-DESTRUCT because of lack of GOOD jobs mean low finances thus creating or changing the dating game which thus changes the Nuclear Family or Clan/Tribe in Sociological Perspective

  50. It's only white, former Christian nations that feel this way cuz they have rejected Jesus. We as a nation have rejected God and He has rejected us. America has morphed from a Christian Republic with a free market economy to a godless secular welfare state with a controlled economy.

    This guy means well but is examining symptoms rather the root cause.

  51. So many "friends" have been known to cheat, steal and misuse others. Friends aren't what they used to be. So sad that so many are so eager to have friends that they leave themselves open to being completely destroyed by a friend. NEVER mix loaning money with a friendship. That is the quickest way to destroy any friendship!

  52. There are many people that are lonely so why not get a group together and invite everyone of these lonely people. That way you can tell who is in it for real and those who are there just to use people. Sad thing is, many of our friends wind up moving to other states because of their jobs and you lose connection with them. At first you stay connected then it gets less and less. So many lonely people that would not be lonely if you put it out there. There are those who are introverted and would never reach out accept if they are invited into a group!

  53. You can start a group and meet at a park for barbecue or something similar. Lets say anyone lonely looking for friends we will be at such and such a park and will bring this food to share and see who shows up. Either you click with them or you don't. You can do this on a bi weekly basis and find some good friends that way. There is nothing wrong with reaching out to people cause otherwise how else would you do it! Many married people I know met each other on line through a dating sight which is unknown before but now seems a norm.

  54. Excellent topic and dare I say very accurate. We forget that we have millenium of evolution that underwrites our basic desires and needs.

  55. We are feeling more and more estranged from each other. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s hard to know who you can trust. I’ve been let down by many people. Fortunately, I do enjoy my own company, and honestly, I’d rather have no friends than bad friends.

  56. If we know that loneliness often leads to depression , instead of medicating people, why not to create places ,where people in similar age group can meet and socialized together ??? After my divorce ,at 47 ,I was looking for that ! No luck in finding , I still had work . After at 61 when I stop working ,it got worse. I do some voluntary work with seniors ,but that is not socializing . I feel young and still have a lot of energy . I do feel lonely !

  57. I predicted this would happen back in the 80s when Nintendo video games came out. I said we’d all be brainwashed and I was right… I have no one in this world and it’s very sad. Please be my friend on YouTube I’m going crazy looking for friends ….

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