The Leia Podcast (Episode 9)

The Leia Podcast (Episode 9)


Leia: And hello everybody! Welcome to Leia’s Podcast Number 9! Number 9. Number 9. What the hell song was that from? Anyway, you can let me know in the comments below if you feel so inclined. So, guest number one… I’m just, I’m not even gonna keep count. I have just a slew of people who wanna come on my fabulous podcast and yickity yak about the newest…uh Luke, what would it be? Is it another teaser? Is it a trailer? What is it? Luke: Essentially yeah. It’s a trailer. They called it a “sizzle reel” but that doesn’t sound– Leia: What the f**k is a sizzle reel? I’m losing track, I mean come on! First it was just trailers, and oh now we have teaser trailers, then a trailer trailer and now a (Leia attempts to pronounce “sizzle reel”) you can’t even say it! A “sizzuh”– Luke: Well, you can’t say it. Leia: A sssssizzel ree-uhl. Luke: Close enough. Yeah. Close enough. Leia: Yeah, get someone with a certain kind of accent to try to say that and I think it would be quite difficult. It’s difficult enough for me. So. It was my initial plans to stick to my guns and not spoil myself. which um, I know it’s probably misleading or whatever but f***ing hell! Spoilers! Luke: Yeah, sort of. You don’t know what kind of a spoiler. (Leia tries to speak but is too frustrated) Leia: Goddamn it! So for any of you out there who were considering not being spoiled, don’t watch it! Luke: And you’d better click this off, too. Leia: Yeah, well you know, spoilers ahead, ’cause I went ahead and watched it ’cause I have a job to do. Okay. So. Um. The kiddos can come around too whenever they feel like it. Uh, you guys wanna say hi? (ambiguous) Hey! Which one am I? Oh I guess I’m Finn, hello! Leia: Oh my god. I was expecting my son to say hello first and then I hear this “hey!” And I’m like, whoa! That is not him. Leia: Are you guys all pals now that you went out to dinner? Finn: Yeah that was pretty cool. He paid for…that was a big bill. I saw it. I almost fainted. Rey: (dorky) Hi! I didn’t look at the bill ’cause I didn’t want to faint. And I was too busy thinking about other things and that giant syringe in his neck kind of obscured the view of the bill. Ben: It wasn’t that expensive, really. Rey: Oh, that’s good. I don’t fully believe that you think that, but for us I think it would be pretty expensive. Finn? What do you think? Finn: I think I could’ve bought a house with that bill! Poe: Yeah, a house. Maybe that’s a little bit of an exaggeration, but you know, a really expensive speeder. Or some sort of…cruiser or a whole, like uh, what is the Falcon called again? It’s like uh, uh… Finn: Oh, it’s a freighter. Poe: Freighter! Yeah! You coulda bought a freighter. Rey: We ate and drank a freighter!? Finn: I kinda felt that way. Poe: Yeah, my…ooh ooh. Indigestion hit hard later. But ou know, after we danced a little while. I thought that would help burn off some calories and stuff, but– Finn: Oh yeah. We burned off at least twenty. Poe: Yeah, I burned off at least a quarter of one of the drinks I drank. Finn: How many did you have? Poe: I don’t remember. God were they all that same drink? That was so sweet. Finn: Well, no. Then you had wine on top of that. Poe: Ugh. Yeah, that was helpful. God, I’m getting heartburn just thinking about it. Leia: Excuse me! Can we get back on topic here? I just had to go and watch something I wasn’t planning on and I’d at least like to be able to talk about it! Luke: Well, please. Everyone wants to hear what you think. Leia: (singing) Eeeeevil woman! (Luke cackles) Leia: (singing) Eeeevil woman! What the f**k, Rey? Rey: Um…hi. Ben: Did you finally see a woman, like, touch me? Rey: Kiss your cheek or your hand or… Ben: And that was it. Rey: Suddenly my force weapons are red, and um I got an evil cape. Ben: And your lightsaber is doing that flicker thing that mine does. Rey: It was flickering? What, was I bad at building it, too? Ben: I think that means the kyber crystal is broken. Rey: Oh, was I trying to use the one that was in, you know, the one that blew up last time? Ben: I don’t know. Rey: I probably did try to use that and then it was like “uughhh uhhhhh!” Finn: Now excuse me. Does anyone really think this is real? This could just be a vision. Rey: I know. It’s like…if it is real it’s not gonna last. They’re not gonna end it with me being a baddy. Let’s swap. Like, I’ll be the baddy and you redeem yourself. And then you have to kill me. Ah! Ben: Huh. People are saying it’s gonna be like a reverse Anakin and Padme situation. Rey: Oh, what? You die of a broken heart and I go all evil? Ben: Yeah, I die in childbirth. Rey: Yeah right! (laughs) Well you would, wouldn’t you? Where’s it gonna come out of? Leia: Uh, yeah. So I mean, cool with the lightsaber that swivels around and becomes the two sided staff. Finn: Yeah, I think we’ve all expected Rey to use a double (cracks up) double-ended dildo. Rey: Now you just watch yourself! Finn: I can’t help it. When I say…when I hear– Rey: A double-ended lightsaber? Don’t play with those! That’s dangerous! Rey: It’s a staff! It’s a lightsaber staff! Finn: Yeah. A double-ended lightsaber. But when I say “double-ended” I immediately wanna say “dildo”. Rey: Stop it! Just stop saying “double-ended”. It’s just not right. Ben: There’s loads of people saying, “There’s no way Rey could turn! That wouldn’t make any sense. If she was gonna turn she would’ve done it at the end of the last movie.” Rey: Uh, excuse me. I can turn whenever I bloody well feel like it! You don’t tell me when I turn! And besides, if stupid Palpatine is around, then he could’ve been all whispering in my ear. Ben: Or possessing you. Rey: Ew, no! Ben: Oh god, what if he possessed you and then I had to kill you? Oh that would be horrible. Rey: But that never solves it! Then he just jumps and goes and possesses someone else. You gotta kill his actual spirit or something. Finn: Yeah, what’s gonna have to come up in this movie is how to actually destroy him for realisies. Rey: Right yeah. Maybe I’d let him possess me because he’ll think that he’s got it covered, and then we have to do a thing that, you, draws him out. And like then we can do…voodoo magic on him. Finn: Sure! Rey: Hear me now! I’m calling it. I let him possess me. Ben: Huh. Is it gonna be like the end of The Exorcist? Take me! Take me! Rey: Um, I feel like it would’ve been a bit more planned out. (laughs) And like a trap. But…I…yeah, I’m not saying…I don’t think it would be that flippant. I don’t think I’d want that icky think inside of me if it wasn’t for a plan. Ben: Ew. That sounds horrible, ew. Rey: I looked pretty badass though. I mean can we just, can we comment on that? Ben: (laughing) Uh yeah. You haven’t even watched our reaction video, have you? Rey: Mmm mm. Ben: I fainted. Rey: Oh no. Ben: Yeah, how could I not? Leia: Yeah, I was at first just going, okay where are we going with this? We’re showing all stuff from the first set of movies and okay now we’re showing prequel stuff and okay now we’re back up to the present and now I’m just trying to remember what and all the f**k was in it. There was a shot of me. Luke: Yep. You looked good. Leia: Oh, thanks. Uh, um. Then there was uh well there was Luke: This is great. Leia: Well, I mean all the remembrances of stuff went out the f***ing window when madam, uh you know, swizzle sticks came out. Rey: Madam what?! Poe: (laughs) Can that be some kind of a drink? Rey Swizzle Sticks? Rey: Uh, (laughs) well there was, uh, Ben was dragging his lightsaber through the snow. Ben: Through the snow? Rey: I thought it was the snow. Ben: Wait a minute.
Rey: Hold on, I’m going back to… Rey: Doo doo doo This is my fight! And yeah, there goes the scene…Now this is, this is a bonus little my reaction, except I already saw it. Okay so, oh Poe, look you’re there for a second. There’s Leia. The story of a generation! Wow, okay hold on! Can I just say something too? Ben: Mmm hmm. Rey: We, um, we like got some more ships! Who’s backing us? We finally have more than like what, twelve members of the resistance! Ben: Can I point something out about the imperial cruisers? Someone pointed out on another video that those are not First Order cruisers, those are Imperial cruisers. Rey: Oh no! Where have they been hiding? Ben: That’s the question. Rey: Oh s**t, so there was like two factions going this whole time. We didn’t even know about it? We thought the Empire was done and the First Order kind of scrambled up from it. But little did the First Order know, the Empire was off in some other part of the galaxy! Ben: Yeah, and maybe Hux went off to this faction. Ooh! I’ll bet he does. Rey: And did we see a giant red beam shooting through something? Ben: We did. God we all hope that’s not another super weapon, right JJ? Rey: For f**k sake! Ben: It could be a vision from the past. Rey: Okay. What’s wrong with C3PO? And yeah a f***ing super weapon thing. And why am I cutting all the trees down? Oh see that was it! That looked like snow! Right. Yeah, it looks snowy. Now we’re all fighting, or whatever. Oh, shut up, Palpatine. Nobody likes you. Oh, there I was. See I mean there wasn’t a whole lot. There was just like quick shots. Like, there’s Poe and Finn and some fighters. And there’s Finn in the ship. And there’s a shot of some more ships. Once again, where the f**k is Hux? Finn: I was gonna say. He’s never been in any trailer, has he? Rey: Is it because it would be soooo spoilery to show him? ‘Cause he’s gonna be in his full “I’m taking over” regalia outfit? Finn: Yeah, something’s gonna happen with Hux. Something…he…some s**t’s gonna go down with Hux. Leia: Well for godsakes, it’s amazing he made it this far in the series anyway. So, uh you know, here’s hoping he has a better death than Snoke. I mean, not that Snoke’s death wasn’t good, but it was just sort of like, wow! That was easy! Finn: Yeah well, if it turns out it’s been Palpatine who’s behind everything to begin with, then it makes sense. Like who gives a s**t about Snoke anyway? Leia: It’s just his vessel. His vessel was destroyed. Now he’s off looking for a new one. And wouldn’t he like a fresh new body. You know, nice young and not falling apart. Finn: Would he like to be a girl? Rey: Ew! No! And what happens to the original host? Is he still in there? Is he like pushed way down into his feet and he can’t like…he still is aware of everything? For instance then if he was to possess me, what would happen to me? Would I be off in the background somewhere still being aware? You know, I can’t control my body. I can’t control anything that’s going on, but I still see what’s happening. Finn: That’s a good question. And does he get in the body and control it? Or is he like from a distance like a puppet master? Rey: I almost feel like he’s in the body. Finn: Ew. Rey: Not in the genitals! He’s just inside– Finn: I wasn’t thinking of the genitals. Just the idea of that creepy old scumbag being in a body is just (cringes) Rey: But then is that the thing like…is that even…was the one from the original movies, was that even an original body, or was it something else? If he was Darth Plagueis and like you know– Ben: But wasn’t Plagueis his master and then he killed him? Rey: Well that’s what I’m saying, I don’t even know! I didn’t think I was ever gonna have to need to know this knowledge. Ben: Well they’ve been saying that at the end of this trilogy it’ll pull everything together and make it one big cohesive like…thing. Leia: So! Luke, do you think they’re gonna bring you in the movie somehow? Luke: Oh, I’m sure I’ll be some kind of bulls**t force ghost. Sorry, not bulls**t. I don’t know why I said that. I guess I’m just cranky. Rey: Are you already suiting up to be cranky for this movie, too? Luke: Oh, they won’t let me do that. There was such a backlash over me being human. Rey: Well, you know. You’ve surrendered now. So you’re back to being peaceful…Jedi Luke. Luke: One with the force and all that. I wanna say “all that horses**t”. I’m in quite the mood. (sound of extremely loud belch) Luke: Oh! Charming. Leia: Well, I was just going along with your sentiment. Luke: You just always belch, that’s all. It has nothing to do with any sentiments! Ben: Um, so, um anybody else c** in their pants when they saw Rey? Or was that just me? Finn: I did. Leia: What? Finn: Nah, I didn’t. (laughs) But I was like— Poe: But did Mr. Little Finn wake up? Finn: Um, little Finn thinks of Rey as a sibling now, so– Rey: Finally! Finn: Yeah, yes. Rey: Now you’re on my page, thank you! Finn: But I was just kinda like, well that’s a good look! Too bad it represents such evil. Poe: Yeah. Great look. Bad for us! Finn: And you know, people saying, “Oh no. That’s just, ah! They’re misleading us!” Well what if he knows that everyone is gonna think it’s misleading, but in reality it’s not! Poe: Or yeah. Who knows? Ben: It’s hot. It’s hot. Poe: Yeah, mister anytime she gets angry, or you know he was like, seeing her angry in battle was such a turn on, so yeah this is just like one of your f***ing w** dreams come to life. Ben: That’s what everybody’s calling it. Yeah. Uh, maybe it’s the vision I saw when we touched hands. (Rey laughs) Rey: Where’s my vision incarnate? Ben: Yeah, that’s a good question. Rey: Yeah, and could you use a different lightsaber already? Ben: What? (laughs) What’s wrong with my lightsaber? Rey: You know, the evil, red, sparking, just…evil thing. Could you like change sides and use a different lightsaber already? Ben: Well, hey, I might. But they’re not gonna show it in the trailer. We can’t have me be the good guy and you be the bad guy in the same trailer. Rey: Oh why not? It would be so, you know. It would create such a buzz. Ben: Oh just this one shot alone has created a ton of buzz already. Rey: Yeah angry buzz? Like “BUUUZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ!!!” buzz or like, “ooh buzz buzz buzz”? Ben: It’s just got people talking. Rey: Alright. Finn: Somebody said that the music that was playing, um you know your theme, the Rey theme in the trailer? They said they thought it was what we had done. You know adding the two themes, putting the two themes together. Finn: But I couldn’t really hear it. I don’t know if that’s true or if that’s just wishful listening. Rey: (chuckles) Yeah I don’t know. I mean, they had I just noticed at the end they did the little you know, “ding, ding, dee, ding, ding” or whatever. No that’s the Harry Potter theme. (laughs) Finn: Now you’re gonna f**k with everybody’s recollections. Rey: Except that’s a horrible representation of the Harry Potter theme! You’re welcome! So anyway! Ben: Yeah, I was just speechless. And every other little shot that they threw in just kind of…I didn’t care about anyway, like you said. Rey: But honestly there wasn’t a whole lot, ’cause so much of it was showing previous stuff’ that the new stuff was just a little bit. Ben: The movie’s not even wrapped yet. I mean, the principal photography is of course, and I think there were some reshoots, but there’s still little things that…It’s not even finished yet. Rey: Well, it’s the end of August. September, October, November…come on guys! You gotta get on it! They’re all like freaking the f**k out right now. Ben: Maybe they have like a couple different endings and they’re kinda trying to read the crowd. Rey: Oh don’t do that! Ben: Let’s see. What do you think will piss them off the most? And let’s go with that. Rey: Oh good. Ben: ‘Cause well, you know Star Wars fans. Rey: They get angry a lot? Ben: Yeah, well, yeah, apparently. Apparently now they do. Were they always like this? I don’t know. Leia: Um, yeah. I’ll go with yeah. Ever since the first movie they were all a little pissy pants. Luke: The very, very first movie? Our movie? Leia: After that one, yes. You know, when they all had expectations and s**t. Luke: Ah. Expectations. They kill everything. Uh, I’ve got a stuffy nose. Am I turning into you? Leia: Well we are twins. You know, we have our moments. Have I ever been like you? I feel like you’re too, you’re too happy. Although, where do I get that from? ‘Cause it’s not like your character was necessarily happy. Ever. You were whingey and whiney and bratty. And then you were depressed. And then you were like bratty again. And then you were super bratty throwing a fit and the lightsaber over your shoulder. Luke: I was too old to be bratty. Leia: I always feel like you’re a sparky, but I don’t know if you’ve ever actually been that way. Luke: I feel like if it weren’t for all the problems and turmoil in my life, I would be a sparky. Leia: You have moments, like you know when you were on the Falcon for the first time with Han and you were like doing the “pew pew” and you were blowing up ships and stuff you were like “Yeah! Woo hoo!” So maybe that’s where I got it from. Luke: Hey, what’s that button do!? (Leia cackles) Luke: I didn’t actually say that. Leia: What’s that? Let me reach over and grab it! Luke: “What’s that flashing!” was the actual line. As Han swats my hand away. Leia: Yeah you’re like, “Hey I’m a pilot! I can grab things on the controls!” “Even though apparently I don’t know what it is, ’cause I’m asking.” “What’s that flashing!” Luke: That’s exactly how I said it. Leia: Well that’s what I thought. Hey, I was there. I should know. Luke: You weren’t there then! We were coming to rescue you, well we didn’t know we were coming to rescue you. We thought we were going to Alderaan. Leia: But you’d already seen me. Oh! Right but you didn’t know I was there at all. Nope. Luke: We didn’t know you were on the Death Star. We didn’t know there was a Death Star at that point. Leia: And as I said then and I’ll say it again, some rescue! Luke: We did get you out in the end, though. Leia: I was always a bit cranky and feisty. “Somebody get this walking carpet outta my way!” Luke: Your first words to me? Leia: “Aren’t you kinda short for a storm trooper?” Luke: (laughing) Yeah. As I’m going…I’m looking at you and getting a h**d-on in my suit. Leia: Gah!! Well it didn’t help that I was all sprawled in a come-hither sort of way. Oh good. Yes, it’s so great to reminisce on our early incestuous relationship. Luke: We didn’t know! Leia: Yeah, I know that! It’s the only thing that keeps us friends. Luke: You, you really kissed me good. Leia: Oh, and you really kissed me back, sparky, so…at least I never got h**d-ons thinking about you. Rey: Ew! Ben: By the way, if me and Rey turn out to be related I’m gonna slit my wrists and throw myself off a bridge. Rey: You have stated this before and no you’re not! You’re not leaving me alone to deal with this s**t! Ben: (sighs) What if I’m doing it to save the galaxy? Rey: Oh f**k off! (nasally) “I’m doing this so that everybody else can live!” Ben: Fine, yeah. I’m pretty sure we talked about this before. I hope it wasn’t in the last podcast we did. Rey: Probably. Rey: But no. Not allowed. So forget it. Whether we’re related or not, forget it. (ungodly sound of belch) Ben: Rey? Rey: No? Ben: That was you? Rey: No. Ben: You really are going evil, aren’t you? Rey: Stop! Ben: Now you just have to fart. Then the circle is complete. Rey: No! I promised you I wouldn’t become your mother! And she’s not evil! Ben: Borderline. Leia: Excuse me? Ben: Well, it’s not your fault. Look at who your dad was. Leia: He was never there! It’s not genetic! I don’t think. So. What else can we talk about? Ben: Uh, let’s see. Optimism update. How’s everyone feeling about the movie? Rey: Um, I think it’s gonna be cool! I’m excited. Ben: Cool. Me too. And, yeah, after seeing you in that getup– Rey: Just watch, it’ll only be for like a split second ’cause it’s not real and you’ll be like, “No! I want more!” Ben: Or maybe you’re doing one of those tests, you know when Luke went in the cave and faced Vader? Rey: Oh, you know what? You know what? Okay. I’m calling it. If you don’t wanna be spoiled, ’cause I’m absolutely right. If you don’t wanna know the whole movie, tune out now. So! As part of my Jedi…you know, “learning business” or like for the resistance recon I go off and travel where I come across, you know the remains of that…the death…not the Death Star but one of those Star Destroyers that were out there. Finn: I think Palpatine is hiding out in the remains of the second Death Star, not some Imperial cruiser. Rey: Oh, well whatever! So I come across that. That’s where stupid Palpatine went to lick his ass after Ben killed his last vessel. So he’s off pouting over there and he might’ve been luring me to find him. But, so I go there and he’s all like, “I’m gonna to whisper all the evil things in your ear like I do with everyone! And you’re gonna go evil!” And then I go evil! And then he tells me where I can find all these other Imperial ships that weren’t destroyed. And I raise my own evil army! Ben: Oh, ho! Rey: And then I go to confront you Ben, ’cause you’re not the ruler of the galaxy, I am! And meanwhile the resistance is like, “What the f**k happened to Rey?” “She went off on a mission, she never came home! She never called! And all of a sudden we see her at the head of all these Imperial ships coming to kill us!” Finn: Now, question. Are you serious? Rey: It could happen. (laughs) It probably won’t, but it could! But wouldn’t that be crazy? I’m suddenly the head of like the Imperial baddies. Finn: That would be quick…to have that all happen in one movie. Rey: I know! Ben: I can’t even think. I’m just visualizing you in that hood. Leia: Son Would you try to stop tenting your pants? Ben: Leave me alone. I shall tent whatever I like, mother. Leia: Yeah, it’s not like anyone in the galaxy could miss it. Ben: Is that a comment on how big my d**k is? Leia: Well, what did you think it was? Why are you being so crude and lewd? It’s disturbing! Get your head out of your balls! Ben: Yeah, we’re gonna spend the whole podcast just talking about evil Rey. Rey: Well, we talked about other things. Did they have you wearing your helmet at all? Ben: No, but in the poster, yes I am wearing it. Rey: Look out, you’re losing your balance or something, or are you just about to jump on my head? You look huge! Ben: What do you mean I look huge? Rey: You look huge! Your head’s like…you look massive. Ben: Well next to you, you’re not very…I am a lot bigger than you, you know. In case you forgot. Rey: No, I haven’t. Finn: Tell everybody how long…never mind. Rey: Yeah, shut up! What are we on? Finn: What do you mean what are we on? Oh. Rey: No! I mean what are… Finn: I get it, I get it. Rey: Not the drugs that we’re on. What is this thing we’re on? Ben: That’s a good question and I think it’s important, and it’ll become apparent I think and perhaps it has something to do with Palpatine. See why is he looming over us? Rey: Because he’s evil and he controls things and he’s f***ing with us. Ben: All this stuff of us fighting. I feel like that’s misleading. I don’t see us really trying to kill each other. Rey: I could see it being like, “It didn’t have to be this way!” (Rey drops voice) “You should’ve stayed with me!” (raises voice) “You just shoulda…why were you making those kinds of demands of me and you wouldn’t save the resistance and…” (drops voice) bluh blah blah buh buh! You know like us swinging our sabers at each other while we’re verbally fighting and blaming the other one for why we’re now physically fighting. Ben: But we are gonna have to come together to…(laughs) Sorry. We’re going to have to work together. Rey: God, get your…everything is not an innuendo. Do you need a bathroom break? Do you need to go throttle your saber? No, shine it! You need to buff your saber! Finn: Oh my god. Rey: Give it a spit shine. Ben: I’m not that flexible. Rey: Into your hand! Finn: I tried to do that. It didn’t work. Poe: Every male that’s ever been born has tried to do that and most of us fail. Finn: Oh my god. Leia: What the hell has my podcast devolved into!? I am refusing…no! Get out! Get out! All of you! Go! Go! Not you, Luke. But everyone else, get out of here! Ben: Bye, Mom. Leia: Bye, son! (door slams) Alright, well I think it’s that time in the podcast where it’s a little Patreon shoutout! Luke: Yay! Leia: We’re gonna give a little shoutout to the newest members, our newest patrons that we would like to thank so much for joining our insanity and our team of First Orders and BB8s and the Resistance and, what was the other one, Jakku Junkers! That’s right! We appreciate the pants off of all of you! So without further ado… MD, thank you very much! Luke: Are you a doctor? Leia: Eh, you never know! Marianne Gary, thank you so much! Luke: Are you from Indiana? Leia: You gonna ask a question after each of these? Luke: Well, I kinda feel like I have to now. People are gonna feel slighted. Fra La La, la, la, la! Thank you very much, I added all those “la las”. Luke: I can’t think of anything to ask so, thank you! Leia: Just break that habit now, Luke. I cannot take all of the patrons with you asking some stupid question! Luke: Okay, I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try. Leia: cf19, thank you very much! Luke: Are you a droid? Leia: Hrmph Gail McLuckie, thank you very much! Luke: I don’t think that’s your real last name. Leia: Oh, I bet it is and now you’re just being an assh**e! I apologize for my brother, Gail. Uh, Tiffany Frederico, thank you very much! Luke: Thank you. Leia: You’re a little slow on the uptake there, Luke. vetay, thank you! Luke: Thank you. Leia: Olivia Underwood, thank you very much! Luke: Thank you, under the wood! Leia: Uh huh. Anna, thank you, thank you! Luke: Thank you, thank you! Casey Alvestad-Ereth Luke: Wow! Leia: Thank you very much, you’re really testing me there, Casey. Aunt MaraJade ❤ Reylo Or is it Aunt “merra”? Aunt MaraJade ❤ Reylo? Thank you! Luke: And Reylo thanks you too. Leia: Oh, of course they do. They’re off necking right now, I’m sure. Luke: Yeah. Or f***ing. Leia: Gah! Do you mind? Luke: I’m sorry. Leia: You’re, you’re an old pervert. Kat, thank you very much, Kat. Luke: Thanks, Cat. Meow. Leia: Ugh, goddamn it, Luke! Are you drunk? lilit, thank you! Luke: lilit! Leia: We appreciate it, thank you! Okay. I apologize ahead of time. Katerina Benardou dow Luke: What? Leia: Benardou Benardou Thank you! Thank you, Katerina! Luke: Thank you and sorry for her. Leia: Shut up, Luke! Cassandra Alford, thank you very much. Luke: Thank you! Leia: Rae, thank you, thank you! Luke: Rey? Leia: Different spelling. Luke: Oh, oh, okay. Thank you! Leia: Gab Paris, thank you very much! Luke: Your name sounds cool. Leia: (snorting) Oh, Luke. Madi or Madi. Probably Madi. Thank you, Madi! Luke: Thank you! Leia: Okay. You’re screwing with me here a little bit but, Shiiien. Shiiien. Shiiien. There’s like three…nope…is there, yeah, three “I’s” in there, so. Uh, you got me! Uh, Sierra Loiselle, thank you very much! Loiselle, I hope I didn’t screw up your last name but it’s very possible. Thank you, Sierra. Luke: Probably. That’s probably French. It probably has some fancy pronunciation. Leia: Loiselle, I think I could’ve been close to the correct pronunciation. (whispers) Just say that I was. Don’t let Luke be right. Heven, thank you very much! Luke: Heven. Leia: (singing) Is a place on Earth. Different spelling. And last but not least, Marsha Laurienti! Or Laurienti Laurienti. Yeah. One of those is bound to be right. Thank you! Luke: Thank you, Marsha! Leia: And thank all of our patrons old and new. If you just supported us for one month and had to let it go, we still thank you very much. To those who are still currently our patrons, you guys are awesome! Thank you thank you! I hope you have a good morning, a good night or a good afternoon. Thank you for listening! And we’ll catch ya next time!

42 thoughts on “The Leia Podcast (Episode 9)

  1. Love potion #9
    That pic of Palpatine used is the absolute creepiest looking Palpatine ever!
    Miss swizzle sticks is something alot of people have imagined, but never thought we'd actually see. And it is awesome.
    This podcast was very entertaining. May the love of Star Wars be with you, always.

  2. Also as fellow Hux fans, you should talk about the General Hux comic that came out. Kylo is in it too. It has a couple of hilarious parts that reminded me of Farce Awakens.

  3. Ok so I hadn’t heard that mix of Kylo’s and Rey’s themes before and here I was, laughing and enjoying it this silly podcast, and all of a sudden at that part I got chills and started tearing up in love for Reylo

  4. What will happen to Relyo if Kylo and Rey end up being brother and sister? I'm more invested in this channel than Disney's creatively bankrupt iteration of Star Wars. 
    R.I.P. Star Wars

  5. Have you a link to the music we heard at 18:08? The one referred as Rey & Kylo's Blended Themes / Date Night 2 (Patreon Cut)… Too beautiful!

  6. I keep thinking about how a year ago Daisy Ridley cried after she was told what happens to Rey at the end of the Saga. Her being forced by the emperor to turn into his dark side puppet and go after her friends would fit her reaction. Especially if there is a heartbreaking sacrifice or a Bastilla/Revan scenario with her and Kylo. Thoughts?

  7. If anyone dies it will be Kylo saving Rey. Kylo is the only one strong enough to hold Palpatine's ghost. Rey kills him.

  8. Me: my day sucks
    sees Farce Awakens uploads
    Me: my day is better
    video is about Dark!Reylo
    Me: my day is awesome

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