Still Frozen Pizza Taste Test


(rooster crowing) (animal roaring) (Wheel of Mythicality clicking) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – Random disturbing fact. – R-r-r-random. – We always want to learn new things so here’s a random disturbing
fact for you and for us. If your sweet dog loves squeaky toys, it’s because it stimulates the death cries of a small prey item. – I guess I could have inferred that but I never thought about it. Like, Jade brings a, when
I sit on a certain couch– – A certain couch. – You know my house is full of couches. – Right, right, right. – When I sit down on a certain
couch, the blue couch– – Oh, blue couch. – Jade will come over with a squirrel– – A squirrel. – That has a squeaker in it. And she’ll squeak the squirrel
for me to throw it at her. And it has a death cry. – I think she’s doing it
just to get your attention so you’ll throw the squirrel. I don’t think that Jade
is capable of killing. She may, I mean, she
can be a little feisty, but I don’t think she would
actually kill another being. You think so? Give her a live squirrel,
let’s see what happens. – No, but she might eat
my toes in my sleep. She is a wiener dog.
– That’s right. – So frozen pizza madness has not ended. It continues because now we’re gonna have a frozen frozen pizza taste
test because it’s just, it’s right there in the title. – Now, I do, I am very curious. Let’s go ahead and bring
out the first frozen pizza. – Bring it out on the box. Is there a box? – [Josh] That’s all it comes in. – Okay, who is this? – [Josh] It’s like a shrink wrapped disk. – Okay, so this is the
order, so this is good. So I really liked Tombstone. – Tombstone–
– It has a lot of cheese. – [Stevie] Yeah, you gave it a seven. It was not your highest, I mean– – It was not as good as DiGiorno– – [Stevie] Or as I say, DiGiorno. – Buttery, crispy crust, zesty sauce. – [Rhett] I really think
it has all those things. Buttery crispy crust and zesty sauce. How is it frozen? – Have you ever eaten
frozen pizza still frozen or been tempted too? – No, but I am tempted right now. – ‘Cause like hot dogs,
a lot of those, it’s like “oh, I’ll just eat one of
those out of the fridge.” When I was a child, I’d never do that now. – Oh this is great. Look what they just did for us, Link. They have given us a Google spreadsheet with all of the scores that we gave. – [Stevie] Oh, then what’s
the point of me existing? (Rhett laughing) I memorized everything. Can I ask, do you have– – We gave it a score of 13. – [Stevie] Do you have like
a brand that you usually get? ‘Cause I was thinking about
those non-frozen ones. You know the grocery
store and Costco make like fresh pizzas that you can
get and then put in the oven? – Those are very good. – [Stevie] Yeah, I remember growing up– – I’ve never had that. – [Stevie] Never got to
get that and I remember feeling like really fancy. – We need to rank these. So yeah, the one that
you can get at Costco that’s in it, they’ll be big. It’s like a big pizza you
could take home and bake. It’s very good. I don’t know what we thought about, let’s see what we
thought about Kirkland’s. Oh, we gave it a pretty low score, 10. – Well we’re gonna get to Kirkland’s. So Amy’s, did we get this one correct? No, we didn’t. – We skewered this one.
– What did we think was Amy’s? Is that what you were saying? – [Stevie] You didn’t like this one. You said it tasted like, bad. – Basil-y. – [Stevie] No, no, not
basil-y, that was another one. – That was number four
that you thought was Amy’s. Yeah. It’s still bad. – Still bad. – I’ve seen this in our freezer though. – Here at work? – No, at my home freezer. Apparently my kids enjoy it. – [Crew Member] Somebody said freezer? – Oh, you’re back for another burn? – Hi Link, sorry I hit you. Couple more burns now. – He’s back with more burns. – I got more burns on my card. (Rhett laughing) Hey Link, are you an ice pop? You got a real stick up your butt. Freezer burn. (Rhett laughing) – Wow man, that was good. That was a good one. That one was directed only at Link. – Amy’s sucks. – Tombstone’s very good frozen. ‘Cause the thinner crust is better frozen. – Yeah, so that’s better. – Then we got DiGiorno. – DiGiorno. – Yes, gravity still exists. – I’m trying to move that there
so we can see the packaging. – [Rhett] Oh man, it’s… – I thought that, I was actually wrong about the crust of DiGiorno. There’s not a big crust. – [Stevie] No, in reality, yeah– – It does pump up? – [Josh] Yeah, do you notice the word right before crust on the box? – Rising. – But that’s, okay, so yeah. I see the picture. But I was just looking at this and it didn’t seem like it did it. – Well, ’cause you gotta
bake it for it to rise. – Yeah, see that right here? It pokes out and goes up. That’s pretty good. – I’m having a difficult time
’cause this one is more frozen ’cause there’s more sauce. – It’s good frozen though. I think I might start this. Might start doing this. Oh the dough, I thought
you liked the doughiness. – I love that, I love the– – Well you’re complaining about it. – Unrisen crust, but the frozen
sauce is biting through ice and that’s, see that is
giving me goosebumps. – ‘Cause you’re enjoying yourself? – In a bad way. Kind of like I’m ready for attack. DiGiorno is definitely the
best, better than the Tombstone ’cause I like that, can I say it’s raw? It’s unrisen. Pre-risen crust. – Okay. Now this is the one you
said had basil in it. I took that, it was its
own thing and that’s– – Good gracious, that’s a big box. Do you disagree? – No, it was unique. It is unique. – That’s a fluffy. It’s kind of like bread. ‘Cause it’s thawed a little bit. – So Josh.
– Yes? – Is there a difference
in what’s happening with the doughs here because this seems like it’s already cooked. – [Josh] Yeah, I think some
of them are par-cooked, which is the difference in
DiGiorno is it’s actually raw and it’s rising when you bake it. – Yeah, this is a raw dough. Like, that’s why it’s
so like, soft, pliable. – It doesn’t keep as long or something. – [Josh] I don’t know. – I don’t think that has anything to do with it, it’s frozen. – If you like raw dough, like me, then you’re gonna love DiGiorno. – So they par-cooked it, it
just means cooked a little bit to create some sort of structure to it. – [Josh] Yeah, exactly. – I should go into the pizza business, much as I can guess about pizzas. – I may have to taste the
Tombstone again to know how good the Kirkland is. Now this sad stuff here, what’s the– – We gave a really low score to that. I want to apologize to
Tombstone for liking you so much and thinking
you were Totino’s. And we did get this one right, right? When we guessed it the second
time, ’cause I was like “oh, that’s that very
distinct pizza roll taste.” – The crust tastes like a cracker. – I’m back.
– Oh look, Freezer Burn’s back. – Freezer Burn’s back. He’s got another card, let’s hear it. – Rhett, you’re like the
contents of my freezer in a blackout, rapidly expiring. Freezer burn. – You really gotta think about these. That’s the thing I like about
Freezer Burn’s freezer burns is it takes you a second
and you’re like “oh! “Freezer burn.” – Speaking of delivery,
I think it has something to do with the delivery. – This is really, really
awful and it’s also, you can see why it’s so cheap. I mean, look. There’s barely any sauce on that. And then the cheese looks like cheese, they use cheese for something
else and then they got the cheese off of the
floor for the main thing– – Swept it up, yeah. – And put it in that. – Look at this Red Baron, that dirty dog flying through the sky,
dropping pizza toppings. – Is that what happens? Now, Elliott reminded me
that that isn’t what happens in the Red Baron commercials. In the Red Baron
commercials, it’s the moms. Moms are heavily featured. – It’s the moms? – It’s a moms! Every time. – In leather jackets. – Bomber jackets. – Ew. – You know. You know what, somebody found
out that they were gonna be the Baroness of Red Baron and
it was a life-changing moment for that mom when she came home that day. She’s like “kids, I have an announcement. “Everybody gather ’round.” – I think she’s CGI man. AI. – No, she’s a real woman. She probably lives in Encino. She’s done some commercial work, but then when she became the Baroness, like now, when she’s picking up her kids, everybody’s like “it’s the Baroness.” – Here’s what happened. She brought her kids in for
an audition for something and they were like “why
don’t you stick around? “Can you read some lines for us, Mom? “We kind of need a mom
for something, too.” – They’re like “we’re gonna
change our whole campaign.” – She’s like “oh, well
I’m not here for me, “I’m here for my four year old, Angelica.” “Just give us a chance.” And then next thing you
know, she’s the Baroness. – Oh, her name is Stephanie Kurtzuba. – Kurtzuba. – Hold on, does she live in Encino? Look at her wiki. – Let’s find her exact address. – Does she have a wiki? – This is not fabulous. – Oh, she’s got a wiki! Of course she’s got a wiki. Second entry, click on it. She lives in New York? She’s from Omaha?
– She was raised in Omaha. – What? – She graduated from
Omaha Central High School. She performed in local
theater productions. Her first role at the age of 10 was an orphan pickpocket in “Oliver”. – She has a recurring role
as Olivia on the Good Wife on CBS, as a cult member
Sabrina on the Leftovers on HBO, and on the Paramount
Network miniseries Waco. I’ve seen Waco. I enjoy Waco. She has also appeared
on Law and Order: SVU. – Does she always have a bomber jacket on? – Who hasn’t? What? – You heard me. – She’s from New York. She lives in New York via Nebraska. This is making me rethink
the whole Red Baroness thing. I bet you she likes Encino though. I bet you she’s been there. – Let’s read about her personal life. – She married Joshua Coakley,
let’s read it together. – [Both] In 2005. They met when Kurtzuba
was performing in a show at the Alley Theatre in
Houston and Coakley was working on the show in the props department. – How sweet. – They live in New York City– – [Both] And have two sons who
love to eat Red Baron pizza. They love to eat Red Baron pizza so much that she auditioned to become the Baroness that you now know and love
from the Red Baron commercials. – Her maternal grandparents
built the bowling alley in 1955. In Omaha.
– They did. She co-owns it. She co-owns it? – West Lanes. – This woman owns a bowling alley. – You know what, Mrs. Kurtzuba,
we would like to issue, first is an apology. – We’ve invited a lot
of people on the show, we’ve never gotten anybody to come on. – We would like to extend
a humble invitation for you to come on our show, it’s called Good Mythical Morning. This is not it, this
is Good Mythical More. – We invited Scott
Bakula, he didn’t respond. Who else have we invited on the show from Good Mythical More? Yeah, the voiceover guy, who is that? – The Battleship guy? He came on the podcast. – No, we did him. I mean, we invited him onto the show. He was on the podcast, Dave Andreas. – So Mrs. Kurtzuba, can
I call you Stephanie? Stephanie, anytime you’d like,
we would love to have you on Good Mythical Morning
and we’ll give you the Red Baroness treatment. (Rhett laughing) – But we will not allow you
to wear your bomber jacket because then it would
become a sponsorship deal. – Right, this is not a sponsor thing, this is about being friends. – It’s about bowling,
really, is what it’s about. – Right, we want free bowling in Omaha. Move at the speed of conversation toward Mythical.com and save
10% on our Ear Biscuits mug.

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