SELF-ESTEEM, GRATIFICATION & ADDICTION | Simon Sinek on London Real


So you’re dealing with an addicted generation. This is a big time bomb ticking. You, it will get really worse, ok? So combine that with the fact you have
an addicted generation that doesn’t have the skill set to ask for help, combined with the fact that they’re so
good at Facebook and Instagram they’re good at putting filters on everything,
so good at showing you how smart and strong they are, these kids who commit
suicide, you go look at their instagrams, you would have no clue
that they were depressed, they’re happy and they’re star athletes,
right, you have no clue because they’re really good. So, we say silly things like
my door is always open. You’re assuming they have the courage to come in.
Combined with the fact that they’re subject largely, not all but too many,
to a failed parenting strategy because their parents told them
they were special, they could have anything they wanted,
they can be anything they want, they got medals for coming in last,
which by the way we know it doesn’t work, devalues the medal for the one who comes in first
and the one who came in last it makes them feel stupid because
they know they didn’t deserve it, right, the kids got into honors classes
not because they deserve it but because the parents complained, and some of them got
good grades not because they earned them, but because the teachers didn’t
want to deal with the parents, and then the kids graduate college
and they get a job and, in an instant, they find out they’re not special,
they don’t get anything for coming in last, the parents can’t get them a promotion, and you can’t have whatever you want
just because you want it and in an instant their entire self
image is shattered, so you have an entire generation growing up
with lower self confidence than previous generations. So you have a lower self confidence in
previous generations combined with an inability to ask for help with things
that are you struggling with and you turn to social media or device
to keep checking, keep checking you count your likes,
you count your followers, and if somebody unfriends you,
oh my god, it’s trauma, right? The way they break up with each other is
they just ghost each other just cut each other out and stop returning texts, returning phone calls, because they don’t have the skill set
to say “hey, it’s not working out,” “it’s not me it’s you,” right, there’s no
closure on things, right, combined with the fact that there’s
an institutionalized impatience, so, they’ve grown up in a world
of instant gratification. You want to buy something?
You go on Amazon, it shows up the next day. You want to get in touch with someone?
You don’t leave a message on their machine and wait four hours for them
to get the message, you just text them and they get
back to you immediately. You want to watch a movie?
You just log on and watch it, you don’t have to check
movie times, right? Everything happens instantly.
You want to get a date? Swipe right. You don’t even have to muster up the courage
to go up like “hey”, you know, you don’t have to,
here you go, you got a date, right? So the problem is they’re accused of being entitled,
I don’t think they’re entitled at all, not at all I think they’re impatient. I keep meeting these fantastic,
smart, driven, ambitious, idealistic, fantastic kids who graduated at school, they got a job,
they want to make an impact in the world, and I go up to them and say,
“How’s it going?” and they say,
“I think I’m going to quit.” I’m like, “why?” They’re like,
“I’m not making an impact.” I’m like,
“You’ve been here eight months,” and it’s as if , it’s as if they see
the summit of a mountain does that is if they’re standing at the
foot of a mountain they can see the summer they can see the thing they want
i want to make it back but they don’t see as the mountain this large movable object you can go
fast you can go slow i don’t care but there’s still a mountain what they don’t understand is that life
that relationships and career fulfillment are a journey there’s no app for that I got nothing you gotta go through the slow plodding
annoying meandering process called career and life but if they don’t get it
in eight months they go look for somewhere else they
don’t get it they go to look at so it’s impatience and because they don’t have
the skill set to ask for help and because they feel lonely it compounds and compounds solutions for
this so then so there we dump them in office
environments that are built on theories from the 80s and 90s that
prioritizes a number before a person and no one really cares about their
confidence and their personal growth they’re just numbers on a spreadsheet
and they enter work culture that don’t help them and the problem is
they’re entering the workforce at a deficit I hear from kids they tell me that they
struggle to form deep meaningful relationships and the companies don’t
care and so its destructive to them as
individuals but ultimately it will hurt the company’s because more and more
Millennials are entering the workforce I believe to your point about solution
that now the responsibility on companies is even greater than it’s ever been
before right to take care of its people because
if the environments in which we’re asking our youngest workers to work in
isn’t built to help them I can’t even imagine what the suicide
and homicide and just the rates of depression you know an accidental deaths
due to over there are going to look like in the future it’s going to reach
epidemic proportions it’s already the the statistics are ready alarming and
yet nobody sound any alarm bells parents have to intervene we have to stop giving
our kids free access to social media and and phones at young ages they are not
ready for their minds cannot cope with the dopamine balance is fine you can give a kid a phone but they
can’t use it in their bedroom they can’t have it at the dinner table they can’t take it to school they can
only have it up to certain hour and you take it away they’re children you can take
the phone away we’ve got to intervene as parents but
his company’s we now have to deal with the influx of kids that are coming into
our companies with addiction watch I see it all the time walkthrough
any office you’ll see the older employees have
their phones on the sides of their computers as they’re working you’ll see the youngest employees have
their phones face up in front of their keyboards between their arms as they’re
working this is how they work and the statistics
the science is alarming they did experiments on mice where they
they do the multitasking they they changed the they change they put
flashing lights to mimic going from the computer to the self on the computer to
the cell phone to the TV the mice that were exposed to the
changing lights it took them three times longer to solve
amazed than the mice that weren’t and the damage is permanent it didn’t improve when they stopped the
lights this intense arm and the leadership now
is even more important and leadership now it’s even more important in and the
leaders now I’m even more so irresponsible you are responsible for the lives of
human beings and some of these human beings are your children oh ok you bastard CEO who thinks all the
stuff that I talked about is craziness and you don’t have time to make these
changes this is I here we don’t have time it’s a
war out there i’ve actually heards executives tell me that it’s a war out
there I don’t have time for this leadership stuff I know guys are going to war and i’ll
tell ya it’s not a war what you’re going through you know you tinker with money it’s not a war you do have time for this
and if it’s really that way then what were you doing when it wasn’t a war it
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