[Rooster Teeth Intro Music!] Gavin: Would you take ten million dollars – and you just get it, but for the rest of your life, there’s a snail that’s trying to get you, and you can’t ever be touched by the snail otherwise you’ll die. Burnie: And.. and is he actively trying to get me? Gavin: It’s going for you at all times-
Burnie: Wow! Gavin: -but at the speed of a snail, So you could like, go to a different country and try to forget about it, but eventually it would show up.
Burnie: Yeah! Especially if like, the ten million dollars came with immortality as well, and the snail’s immortal as well. Gavin: But think about it, if it started at work, you could go home and you’d be safe for the night. When you come back to work, be careful! Burnie: Like, I would get on a spaceship, and like, go to another planet, and then I would video conference with somebody and say, “Show me the snail!” and they’d show me on Earth, But then, whenever you land on like, Alpha Centauri 2, you’d get on the planet and be like, “Where’s that fucking snail?” Gus: Or, well you don’t know, like, if you’re on that video conference and you start thinking, “What if the snail got to the guy?”. And that’s like ANOTHER snail, and the REAL snail is coming to get you! Burnie: The snail is in the doorway, slowly creeping up on you going, “Laugh it up, asshole! I’m gonna get’cha.” How disappointed would the snail be every time you changed directions? Gavin: Yeah!
Snail: Fuck! Gavin: You could just wait for it to get right up to your foot, and then step over it and then go the other way. Burnie: What happens when the snail kills you, when it gets you? Does he get a share of the ten million, whatever you haven’t spent? Gavin: Yeah, it just sits in the briefcase of money. [laughter] [Outro Music!]