Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – The Dolphin Experiment

Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – The Dolphin Experiment

Gus: The other day I was reading these stories about fucked up experiments that had been done in the past. The government funded this experiment. They wanted to teach dolphins to speak. [laughter] Gus: So they built a house that was partially flooded so that a woman and a dolphin could live together. So they gave her the dolphin when it was tiny and the dolphin grew up with her. Problem was, when the dolphin reached sexual maturity it just wanted to bone her. The dolphin would get really aggressive and like, was bruising her and attacking her ’cause she wouldn’t have sex with it. So they started giving the dolphin conjugal visits. They would take the dolphin out of the house and let it have sex with other dolphins. But then they were like, “This is fucking up our experiment, we don’t know if we can teach it to speak if it gets to interact with other dolphins.” It became a little more gentle, like it was trying to court the woman. It would like, nibble at her feet and like roll-
Burnie: [laughing] Gus: And uh, it would roll over and show it’s junk to her. So she started giving the dolphin handjobs. Burnie: No! No. Get outta’ here. Gus: And uh, the dolphin became more receptive to their lessons after she started jacking it off. Burnie: Bullshit! Gus: But it still, it still wasn’t talking, so their solution was “Oh, of course, you need to do LSD with the dolphin.” So they started dropping acid together. Burnie: What the fuck, dude? Gus: And then after they started doing acid, the government cut their funding. Burnie: What’s the hope? What do they think a dolphin’s gonna say? Joel: More handjobs!

100 thoughts on “Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – The Dolphin Experiment

  1. I've got the link to the article right here if anyone wants to see for themselves.

  2. after this experiment the women and the dolphin where separated the dolphin missed her and then went to the bottom of the pool and commitment suicide by drown itself

  3. I didn't learn about this dolphin till about four or five months ago but this is an even weirder way of explaining it

  4. When friggin dolphins are having better luck with human chicks than I am, then I think it's time I give up and donate my balls to the black market.

  5. It was actually Ketamine, the psychedelic tranquilizer of a dream space filled with an unreal absolute infinite cycle of spiritual nothingness, that they experimented with.

  6. In the 1960s, John Lilly invented the isolation tank and took huge amounts of LSD and ketamine in total sensory deprivation to understand what was consciousness outside the human body. He thought it would be possible one day to communicate with dolphins, and even tried cohabiting one with a human wife. Everybody thought he was stark bonkers crazy. Now we have proof, the dolphins can speak!

    Step inside the dolphin mind, and the dolphin way of speaking

    Beyond your eyes, your primary mode of vision is echolocation, you make a sound and listen for it to come back at you very faintly. This requires highly sensitive hearing and a voicebox that can generate a very wide range of frequencies.

    Dolphins do echolocation one at a time, thus allowing other dolphins to see the world from their perspective. Dolphin brains are larger than humans, with probably a large chunk dedicated to processing audio signals.

    Dolphin speech is about 100-1000 faster than human speech. The human tongue is slow, but dolphin clicks and whistles give them modem like speeds of data transfer. Dolphin hearing/speech range is about 10.5km.

    Dolphin understand syntax, grammar and can make sentences of at least five words long. They have the ability to name things and remember them later. Dolphin language has about as many words in it as the human language, and potentially just as complex, if not more so.

    Humans have been evolving for only 8 million years, but dolphins have been around for at least 25 million years combined with the ability to pass cultural knowledge down between generations.

  7. Just read an article on the Guardian website about this. Somewhat surprisingly, there wasn't a single mention of this video or the podcast in the comment section, just a whole lot of moral outrage.

  8. now we know dolphins are about as smart as us lol just dont hand hands to create stuff. like for real he managed to get a handjob from a freaking human girl lol.

  9. They made it very funny, but I kind of recently found out that the dolphin was actually transferred to a different place because the hand job thing was so controversial or something, where it um… Died… Horribly.

  10. "MORE HANDJOBS!!!"

    I swear, if dolphins ever do speak, they have to in monotone Joel voice. We won't accept anything less.

  11. Supposedly, this dolphin also committed suicide shortly after he was brought back to the labs.
    Not sure how a dolphin can commit suicide in the first place, but… okay.

  12. this is the best animated adventure story, watched 100 times and never gets old hahahahahahaha
    Gus barely being able to tell the story by the end and Burnie's straight up disbelief are the best parts along with the always amazing animations!!

  13. The story as told by Gus is more or less real, but the actual story is far more tragic. It ended with the dolphin committing suicide. I'm not even kidding.

  14. Not only did the dolphin commit suicide, but then she married the other (human) guy who worked with her in the study, they converted the house back to a terrestrial environment, moved in, and raised three kids there and she said she doesn't feel badly and has only good feelings about the place. Heartless.

  15. Yeah, this seems like something the government would do. Did you know they gave some random scientists 500,000$ to build a tiny underwater treadmill to see how fast a shrimp can run? Fairly quickly apparently.

  16. 7 years later:

  17. I told this story in my English class and my teacher crawled under his desk when I told this to the class. I died XD

  18. The conversations going on in the comments will open your eyes. No ignorance here, just people having conversations about Dolphin Hand jobs and drugs.

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