Lindsay: I was mad enough in Resident Evil 4, when I had to take care of fucking Ashley… Lindsay: …the entire time.
Michael: Dude, that’s so easy! Lindsay: No! NO!
Michael: I’m fucking sick and tired… Michael: …of people bitching about it. Michael: Ashley is like the smartest fucking A.I. character … Michael:…in, like, a game ever.
-Lindsay: She’s so stupid! Michael: You tell her where to go! Michael: You walk into an area, and you say Michael: “Bitch, dumpster.” Michael: She goes and hides in the dumpster… Michael: Guess what?! Michael: No one can fuck with her in a dumpster. Michael: You kill everyone in the level, you come back and get her! Michael: It’s so simple.
Gus: Bitch, dumpster. Burnie: Shove. Michael: You have a bitch button. Michael: It’s “Bitch, wait” and “Bitch, let’s go.” Michael: So, like…if you say “Bitch, dumpster” Michael: if you hit the dumpster button, like, to follow you when you’re standing next to it Michael: It’s so great, cause the animation is like… BOOMF Michael: And her head just pops up like a gopher out of a hole Michael: And she just climbs on out. Michael: But, like, you can unlock a knight’s armor for her Michael: The enemies can’t carry her in that Michael: Because in Resident Evil 4, the can actually just pick her up Michael: And if they get to, like, the end of the screen with her, it’s game over Michael: So I played that on hard mode Michael: And I put the bitch in the middle of town Michael: And then run in the bushes and hide Michael: So all the guys would come out Michael: Try to pick her up… Michael: They can’t carry her, so they end up falling over Michael: I’d run out there and start stabbing everyone Michael: On the ground with my knife so I didn’t waste bullets Michael: And then run away again when they started getting back up. Michael: So, people saying that Ashley’s a pain in the ass… Michael: Fuck you. Michael: Ashley’s fantastic.