Ron Burgundy’s EXCLUSIVE Stand-Up Comedy Debut On The Late Show

Ron Burgundy’s EXCLUSIVE Stand-Up Comedy Debut On The Late Show


FOLKS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU
KNOW HIM AS THE FORMER ANCHOR OF SAN DIEGO’S AWARD-WINNING
CHANNEL 4 NEWS TEAM, AND HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO MENTION
THAT HE’S KIND OF A BIG DEAL. PLEASE WELCOME, PERFORMING
STANDUP, RON BURGUNDY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING )>>OH, MY GOSH! WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH! WOW! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WOW! WOW! WOW! HOLD ON HERE! HOLD ON! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU! WHAT A CROWD! WOW! PLEASE, I GOT TO GET TO THE
JOKES, FOLKS. ( LAUGHTER )
THAT’S WHAT YOU SAY WHEN THEY’RE SCREAMING TOO LONG, RIGHT? YEAH. ( LAUGHTER )
WHAT A CROWD! WOW! GIVE YOURSELF A LITTLE CREDIT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YES, THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! GO AHEAD, RIDE THE WAVE! GO AHEAD! YEAH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OKAY, NOW START BOOING YOURSELVES. ( BOOING )
THERE YOU GO! COME ON! OH, A REAL BRONX CHEER! ANYWAY, HOW’S EVERYONE DOING
TONIGHT? GOOD? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH? DO WE HAVE ANY PARTIERS HERE
TONIGHT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YES! I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT THAT
MEANT WHEN SOMEONE WOULD SAY, HEY, DO YOU LINING TO PARTY? YOU MUST BE A PARTIER! LOOK OUT! TED LIKES TO PARTY! RIGHT? WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN? DO YOU LIKE TO THROW PARTIES? WHICH, IN A WAY IS A REALLY NICE
COMPLIMENT, YOU KNOW? MEANS YOU CARE ABOUT PEOPLE AND
YOU LIKE TO PLAN. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S GOING REALLY GOOD. IT’S GOING REALLY GOOD. ( LAUGHTER )
HOWEVER, PEOPLE USUALLY COME OFF MORE AGGRESSIVELY. YOU KNOW, TONIGHT WE’RE GONNA
PARTY! I WANT TO PARTY! WE ARE GOING OFF! ( LAUGHTER )
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? ( LAUGHTER )
TO GO OFF? TO GO OFF WHERE? ( LAUGHTER )
TO GO OFF AND FIND A PRIVATE NOOK TO PLAN A PARTY? ( LAUGHTER )
TONIGHT WE ARE GOING OFF TO FIND A QUIET AREA AND PLAN AN ELEGANT
SEND-OFF FOR MY COUSIN DENISE! ( LAUGHTER )
SHE WILL BE DELIGHTED BECAUSE OF THE CARE AND FORETHOUGHT! WHOA! ( LAUGHTER )
ANYWAY, THAT’S THE LINGO THESE DAYS. IN MY DAY, IT WAS A MUCH SIMPLER
TIME. WE WOULD JUST SAY, HEY, I’M
GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. AND BY “A GOOD TIME,” IT JUST
MEANT YOU GET DRUNK AND YOU FIGHT THE FIRST PERSON THAT
LOOKS AT YOU SIDEWAYS. ( LAUGHTER )
MAN OR WOMAN. ( LAUGHTER )
REAL OR IMAGINED. ( LAUGHTER )
ANIMALS WERE NO EXCEPTION. ( LAUGHTER )
I FOUGHT A LOT OF PET BIRDS AND DOGS BACK IN THE DAY, AND I
DON’T MIND TELLING YOU, MOST OF THE TIME, I CAME OUT ON THE
LOSING END. BUT THAT’S WHAT WE CALLED
“HAVING A GOOD TIME.” NEW YORK CITY, THOUGH, IS —
IT’S A GREAT DRINKING TOWN. WHENEVER I COME HERE, I JUST
WANT TO ORDER A COCKTAIL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? HARVEY WALLBANGER. THAT’S A WEIRD NAME FOR A DRINK,
RIGHT? A GUY NAMED HARVEY, USED TO BANG
WALLS. BURGUNDY RIM SHOT! ( RIM SHOT )
( APPLAUSE ) THANK YOU. I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. BECAUSE THAT WOULD LOOK TERRIBLE
IF YOU WEREN’T READY TO DO THAT. SO THANK YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU’VE HEARD OF A DRINK CALLED THE RUSTY
NAIL. YES. OH, ALMOST EVERYONE. ( LAUGHTER )
A RUSTY NAIL IS SCOTCH AND DRAMBUY AND THE FIRST SIP TASTES
LIKE YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S UNDERPANTS, BUT AFTER THE SECOND
SIP YOU’RE ORDERING TWO MORE. NEXT THING, YOU’RE IN THE
EMERGENCY ROOM GETTING A TETANUS SHOT BECAUSE YOU END UP SHOOTING
YOURSELF IN THE FOOT WITH A NAIL GUN. THAT’S A RUSTY NAIL. ( LAUGHTER )
NO JOKE, THOUGH, YOU SHOULD GET CAUGHT UP ON THOSE TETANUS
SHOTS. WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON? WHAT ELSE? TRADE WARS, RIGHT? EVERYDAY ALL WE HEAR IS TRADE
WAR, TRADE WAR WITH CHINA, TRADE WAR WITH MEXICO. WE EVEN HAD A TRADE WAR WITH
CANADA. WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? YEAH, BOO! I’M WITH YOU. I I H HATE CANADIANS. ( APPLAUSE )
NO, THANK YOU, IT’S REFRESHING TO SPEAK YOUR MIND WITH AN
ANTI-CANADA AUDIENCE. ( LAUGHTER )
GOOD, GOOD, WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE. ( LAUGHTER )
TRADE WAR WITH CANADA, WE AREN’T GOING TO GIVE YOU ANY MORE CARS
TILL YOU LOWER THE PRICE OF CANADIAN BACON? ( LAUGHTER )
TO HELL WITH THE TRADE WARS, I SAY TRADE PEACE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. HEY, I GOT SOMETHING WE CAN
TRADE — HOW ABOUT WE TRADE A DOOBIE BACK AND FORTH AND FIGURE
THIS WHOLE THING OUT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YES, BECAUSE I’M GETTING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT. SPEAKING OF DOOBIES, DID YOU
KNOW THAT MARIJUANA IS NOW LEAGUEL IN MOST STATES? THAT’S JUST CRAZY TO ME BECAUSE,
BACK IN MY DAY, EVERYONE HAD A DEALER NAMED MARCUS OR JULIUS. ( LAUGHTER )
OR PACO. AND THEY WOULD MEET YOU IN LA
VON’S PARKING LOT WITH A DIMEBAG OR A LITTLE PIECE OF TINFOIL
WITH WEIRD SHAVINGS OR TREE BARK OR GOD KNOWS WHAT IT WAS AND YOU
WERE HAPPY TO HAVE IT. ( LAUGHTER )
THESE GUYS BECAME A REAL PART OF YOUR LIFE. YOU INVITED THEM TO YOUR
WEDDING. ( LAUGHTER )
THEY WENT ON VACATIONS WITH YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
PACO AND JULIUS WERE YOUR BEST FRIENDS UNTIL YOU COULDN’T PAY. ( LAUGHTER )
AND THEN THE KNIVES CAME OUT, AND IT WAS HARSH, BUT YOU FELT
ALIVE! ( LAUGHTER )
NOW YOU JUST WALTZ IN AND BUY A BAG OF GUMMY BEARS AND TRIP
BALLS, YOU KNOW? ( LAUGHTER )
WHERE’S THE DANGEROUS? WHERE’S THE ROMANCE? ( LAUGHTER )
I MISS PACO AND JULIUS. THEY’RE BOTH DEAD, BY THE WAY. ( LAUGHTER )
WHAT ELSE? ( LAUGHTER )
OH, YOU GUYS EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW “STAR WARS,” HUH? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH? IS THERE A NEW “STAR WARS”? I HAVE NO IDEA. I JUST SAY THAT AND PEOPLE GO
CRAZY BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF CHUMPS. CANADIAN HATING CHUMPS. BUT I LOVE NEW YORK. I REALLY DO. THE OTHER DAY I WENT TO ELLIS
ISLAND TO TRACE MY FAMILY ROOTS AND I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS VERY
EMOTIONAL. I LOOKED UP THE BURGUNDY FAMILY
TO SEE WHERE WE HAD ORIGINALLY COME FROM, AND I WAS LOOKING AND
LOOKING AND PORING OVER THE RECORDS AND, FINALLY, FINALLY I
FOUND BURGUNDY. JOSIAH AND RHONDA BURGUNDY. COUNTRY OF ORIGIN, AND SOMEONE
HAD DRAWN SOME INTRICATE MALE GENITALIA. ( LAUGHTER )
SO THAT WAS — SO THAT WAS A BUMMER. THAT’S NOT SO MUCH A JOKE AS A
CAUTIONARY TALE. ( LAUGHTER )
SO IF YOU GO TO ELLIS ISLAND, PEOPLE, BE PREPARED THERE’S SOME
MEAN PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH A SHARPIE DRAWING PENISES WHERE IT
SAYS COUNTRY OF ORIGIN. SO TRUE STORY. ( LAUGHTER )
HERE’S ONE I’M GOING TO LEAVE YOU WITH, TWO GUYS WALK INTO A
BAR, A GAY GUY AND A STRAIGHT GUY. ( LAUGHTER )
THE GAY GUY SAYS TO THE BARTENDER, I’D LIKE TO ORDER A
DRINK. THE BARTENDER IS A MEXICAN GUY
AND HE SAYS, WHAT’LL YOU HAVE? MEANWHILE, DOWN THE BAR IS A
CHINESE LADY. ( LAUGHTER )
JUST MINDING HER BUSINESS, BUT BEFORE ANYONE CAN ORDER, IN
WALKS A BLACK GUY, AND HE WALKS RIGHT UP TO THE BAR ALL CALM AND
COOL. NOW, THE STRAIGHT GUY TAKES A
LOOK AT WHAT’S GOING ON AND HE TURNS TO THE TABLE BEHIND HIM,
WHICH IS A TABLE FULL OF JEWS AND A CATHOLIC BRE PRIEST. NOW, IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING
TO THE A RACIST JOKE, YOU HAD ANOTHER THING COMING. THIS IS NEW YORK CITY, FOLKS,
AND WE’RE ALL HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME MY NAME IS RON
BURGUNDY, I HOPE TO SEE YOU AT THE BAR! THANK YOU!>>Stephen: RON BURGUNDY,
EVERYBODY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) RON, COME ON OVER! YEAH! THANK YOU SO MUCH! REALLY GREAT. REALLY FUNNY STUFF, RON. I’M A LONG-TIME FAN OF YOUR
WORK, BUT HOW LONG HAS RON BURGUNDY BEEN DOING STAND-UP?>>HOW LONG?>>Stephen: YEAH, HOW LONG. ABOUT 20 MINUTES. HOW LONG WAS THAT SET? TWELVE?>>Stephen: YEAH. I REALLY ENJOY IT.>>Stephen: CLEARLY. I WRITE MY OWN MATERIAL. IT WAS ALL WRITTEN BY ME.>>Stephen: MY UNDERSTANDING
IS YOU WERE ON TONIGHT, ON EVERY SINGLE LATE NIGHT SHOW IN ONE
NIGHT.>>ALL IN ONE NIGHT. TONIGHT, AUGUST 8. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YEAH. HOUSE OF YOUR SUMMER, BY THE
WAY?>>WHICH IS A JOYOUS
SUMMERTIME — IT’S THE HAPPIEST DAY TO HAVE THE SUMMER.>>Stephen: EXACTLY. I HAVE ANY SUMMERTIME SCARF
ON AND MY CASHMERE TURTLENECK.>>Stephen: IT’S SO IMPORTANT
IN AUGUST TO KEEP THE THROAT WARM.>>OH, MY GOSH, AND I’VE HAD IT
ON ALL DAY SO THIS IS WREAKING. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YOU HAVE BEEN ON ALL THE SHOWS.>>YES.>>Stephen: ALL THE SHOWS
TONIGHT SIMULTANEOUSLY. WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE?>>MY FAVORITE LATE NIGHT HOST,
AND IT’S GOT TO BE CHRISTIANA NAPOR. SHE’S SO FUNNY AND VERY HIGHLY
INTELLECTUAL.>>Stephen: SURE. BUT YOU’RE IN MY TOP FIVE,
STEPHEN. REALLY APPRECIATE IT, YEAH.>>Stephen: SURE, SURE. SO SPEAKING OF HOSTS,
EVERYBODY — THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN FOR ALL TIME IS JOHNNY
CARSON.>>YES.>>Stephen: DID YOU KNOW
JOHNNY AT ALL? DID YOU GO DRINKING WITH HIM?>>DID GUY DRINKING WITH JOHNNY
CARSON?>>Stephen: YEAH. O JOHNNY CARSON FOR THOSE OF
YOU WHO DON’T KNOW WAS THE HOST OF “”THE TONIGHT SHOW,” 32
YEARS, AND HE USED TO HAVE A WELL-KNOWN POKER GAME AT HIS
HOUSE I WAS SOMETIMES INVITED TO.>>Stephen: DRIVE UP TO
SAN DIEGO.>>SACKEDO PAST CARLSBAD TO HIS
HOUSE IN ENCINO.>>Stephen: SURE. AND I WOULD BE INVITED, AND
THEY LIKED TO DRINK, THEY LIKED TO DRINK THERE. YOU NAME IT. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU WOULD SIT
NEXT TO. BURT REYNOLDS, JOEY BISHOP,
MARTY FELD BEEN. PETE BARBOODI AND BROTHER DERK.>>Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE A
DRINK?>>I WOULD LOVE ONE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
DRINKING WASN’T ILLEGAL BACK IN THOSE DAYS. IN FACT, I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT IT
WAS JUST JOHNNY AND I AND DEBBIE REYNOLDS, AMERICA’S SWEETHEART,
AND IT WAS ABOUT 4:00 IN THE MORNING — AND I’M TRAILING OFF
NOW BECAUSE I REALIZE I CAN’T TELL THAT STORY. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: IT’S AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE. IT’S FASCINATING.>>IT IS FASCINATING.>>Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
COMMERCIAL BREAK, YOU KNOW, FROM THE BUSINESS.>>I DON’T KNOW. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN STICK
AROUND. GO AHEAD, GO TO COMMERCIAL, AND
IF I CAN STICK AROUND FOR THE SECOND SEGMENT, I WILL. IF NOT, IT WAS GREAT TALKING TO
YOU.>>Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GREAT. ( LAUGHTER )
SO WE’LL SEE YOU IN ABOUT THREE OR FOUR MINUTES.>>I HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT
IT.>>Stephen: YEAH. ALL RIGHT, WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH POSSIBLY MORE RON BURGUNDY,

97 thoughts on “Ron Burgundy’s EXCLUSIVE Stand-Up Comedy Debut On The Late Show

  1. Ron Burgundy is proof that "alter egos" are a real thing if you can make the character come to life and be an extremely good actor. you must BE THE CHARACTER!

  2. Simply awful. I realize it was supposed to be a parody. It didn't work for me. I remember thinking, I just wasted an hour of my life. Colbert seemed annoyed and unimpressed.

  3. The layers in this:
    1st: Ron Burgundy's act itself – it's cringey and awkward. Its funny enough that some people will take it at face value, call it bad comedy and move on.
    2nd: Ron Burgundy the person – He's a washed up old celebrity, who has been doing showbiz for a long time, but he's not good. He is past his prime and trying to stay relevant.
    3rd: That Ron Burgundy is on all these late shows receiving the star treatment. – This will confuse people who see his act and think that it's bad.
    4th: Ron Burgundy's very existence. – He's a fictitious character created by Will Ferrell and portrayed perfectly. Will does this so well that you forget it's him and concentrate clearly on Ron Burgundy. That's part of the genius of everything.
    5th: The whole act is hilarious – The beauty of this is in the details. It's not just the joke he is telling or the lines that he is saying, but the fact you're convinced Ron is saying everything. It's the equivalent of taking a character of a show you love and dropping them in the real world. Then you just watch them behave in the real world.
    6th: The moments when Stephen ALMOST gets Will to break character and you see the whole thing for what it is – a great bit of comedy.

  4. I'm still recoving from last night's "good time" – I woke up in the gutter with claw marks on my arms.

  5. Can someone please tell me at any point was I supposed to laugh at Ron Burgundy? That was not comedy, it was very hard to watch just expecting something funny.

  6. So incredibly not funny. Not one single joke. Yes, he started some, but without a punchline, they can't be called jokes. Will Ferrell should stick to sketch/situational comedy.

  7. Your so funny I forgot to laugh. I noticed the show was taken away from the host. Who runs this media? All shows really?

  8. Just stay in New York and maybe Trump will shoot you, Put down Canada EH! Will Ya.

    We don't have to make Canada great again, because it's always been the Great White North, Imagine if we didn't trade our trees, crops and many other resources with the US you'd have nothing to build your houses with. Just wait a few more years when you run out of fresh clean water and we'll see who's laughing.

    The real joke is how the US and it's people are controlled by corporations you are all so pissed off as common folk going on a shooting spree with your own instead of fighting for the environment and true peacefulness. 3 people in your country own as much wealth as the bottom 50% put together, what a sad joke that would be to say.

    This skit was just another example of dumb'ing down the America population, in my opinion a real bomb. Kinda reminds of the Gong Show, what's that I hear!? a giant cymbal going off.

  9. Epstein "commits suicide" in a maximum security prison, so they had to bring out the big guns to distract you from the pedophile ring and high ranking connections

  10. Ferrell movies are never funny. The Ron Burgundy skits were horrible. I watch Colbert and Kimmel every night. I barely watched the first skit. No way i was gonna watch him again on the next show. Good idea…Horrible Comedy.

  11. No people. This was not Kaufman-esque. Kaufmen was funny because he bravely trolled the audience. He fully committed, and he didn't let the audience in on the joke. Whereas Will is making it obvious to the audience that the bit is "Ron Burgundy is bad at comedy." Not saying this was a bad performance (I thought it was just ok) I'm just saying this is most certainly not Andy Kaufman style comedy.

  12. What was worse the “stand-up” or the “interview”?

    Like if the interview was worse. Comment if the stand-up was worse.

  13. I feel like he was funnier on Jimmy Kimmel. Correct me if Im wrong. But didn't he do that one first? So i feel maybe in this one he is a bit burnt out…..jokes weren't that sharp

  14. I know this is supposed to be bad, but it really was tough to sit through it. Only the power of Burgundy kept me from switching off.

  15. I feel like Will Ferrell could have just done this set as himself. Ron Burgundy feels like a shield to help the comedy.

  16. To those who've laughed at me for making a rather obvious association with another 80s throwback, read it and weep:

    Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy" came out in 2001 inspiring the title, "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy." The latter film's tagline, "His news is bigger than your news," also obviously came from the Jeremy documentary

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2013/12/03/anchorman-facts_n_4373733.html

    He even has the mustache.

  17. To those who've laughed at me for making a rather obvious association with another 80s throwback, read it and weep:

    Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy" came out in 2001 inspiring the title, "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy." The latter film's tagline, "His news is bigger than your news," also obviously came from the Jeremy documentary

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2013/12/03/anchorman-facts_n_4373733.html

    He even has the mustache.

  18. I don't have to point out that y'all don't have to point out that this is anti-humor, am I right or what?

    Now if you like this, go watch Andy Kaufman. The best comedian the USA ever brought forth, and I say this a non-English European.

  19. This was complete rubbish, worst and most boring stand up I've ever seen on Colbert. I couldn't watch any more. If you think it should be deliberately cringe, try watching Alan Partridge to see how it's done properly.

  20. look at how many stupid people disliked this video first they dont understand this segment and second they don't appreciate the brilliant comedy here in will ferrell act

  21. How do we talk about fake news…in a reality in which…a news anchorman character becomes a stand-up comic….I just want to know babe…….are you really gonna love meeeeeeeeeee???

  22. You lot are more gracious than I am.
    I get that the humor is supposed to be in the cringe factor, but this was just lukewarm and boring and didn’t even get a pity laugh out of me…this is that that 40% of the time that it doesn’t work every time.

  23. The Pete Barbutti offhand comment by Colbert shows such a wonderful understanding of the Late Night Comedy genre and such a deep-seated interest in Johnny Carson’s guests. A lovely little gem.

  24. This isn’t the least bit funny; but, you have to respect someone who can put a bit together that is intentionally that not funny.

    Also, respect to Stephen for pouring two glasses of Ron Burgundy label scotch and saying nothing about it. Incredible.

  25. So eating vegetables isn't manly but eating dead cow flesh is? Great that you're doing your bit to make being compassionate for the planet manly but eating animals does more damage to the planet than litter does. Come on, Stephen, get with the times!

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