– We’re eating McDonald’s food
that doesn’t exist anymore. – Let’s talk about that. (alarm rings)
(playful theme music) (fire blasts) Good Mythical Morning. – Announcement! The fall Tour of Mythicality
is heading to Toronto, New Jersey and Connecticut on
November 8th, 9th, and 10th, so get your tickets now
at tourofmythicality.com. – But today, life is
fleeting and often cruel, and as humans, we’re
predisposed to take for granted the blessings we receive
and live miserable lives full of loss and grief. – What Rhett means is that sometimes fast food chains suddenly
discontinue items and he really just misses the McRib. But today, we are bringing
the dead back to life by tasting McDonald’s items
that you cannot find anywhere. It’s time for to be discontinued: McDonald’s food edition. – Mythical chef Josh
has scoured the internet to faithfully recreate to
the best of his ability, actual McDonald’s food that existed but has since been discontinued. And we’re gonna review said food items and then taste their zombie
reincarnations and decide, given all the information available to us, if it’s whack or if they
should bring it back. So listen up, Ronald, ’cause
we’re gonna travel back in the McTime McChine–
(Rhett chuckles) To figure McOut if these
should be McBrought McBack. – You just said McTime McChine. – I know, I did.
– I like that. Okay first up we have
McDonald’s onion nuggets. Yes, this was a thing,
introduced in the 1970s, these weird little lumps were
made out of diced onion blobs that were breaded and fried. They were pulled from test
markets in the early 80s and then seemingly replaced
by the introduction of the now iconic chicken nuggets. Couldn’t find a commercial
for this but we found a couple of old school ads. Look what’s new for you! Onion Nuggets. – Yeah! I’m blown away that this was a predecessor to the chicken nugget. – Well you’ve gotta start
nuggetfying something before you get to chicken. – [Link] I’m willing to bet
that these probably contain more chicken than an actual
current chicken nugget. – No it’s 100% white meat, man. Don’t you listen to the ads?
– That’s true. – It’s also only served
from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. – That’s weird, so there’s
like a limited window, you gotta get in and
get your onion nugget. – Supply and demand. – Steakout tonight.
– And this is something that really piqued my interest, ’cause it looks a lot like the McRib, but that is not the McRib, that’s just a chopped beef steak sandwich. Bring that back while you’re at it. Anyway–
(mug clatters) Oh gosh!
– We’re not gonna taste that. Don’t spill your water. – What we did is, the way we made these, the way Josh made these
is he sourced onion directly from local McDonald’s
and then he breaded it and fried it to a golden, lumpy finish, just like we see in the picture. – Here’s one for you. Now, I know I don’t like a lot of things, but one thing I really do like– – Onion rings. – No, onions in general.
– Onions in general? – But onion rings, I’ll
still find a way to complain about those
because when you bite them– – Oh gosh.
– You bite. I mean the whole onion
strings out of the ring. Not so with these. That’s the point right off the bat. – Oh you know what? You were right. This is an onion ring that has
been made easier to consume. – It’s really good with ketchup too. – You double dipping too? – I’m not saying these are
better than Chicken McNuggets. I’m not saying they
should re-replace them. – It feels like a totally
different thing though. I don’t think these would
compete with each other. – You get your veggies, you know? It’s hard to get your veggies at McD’s. – That is really, really, really good! – Yeah, of course we’re
really, really, really hungry and really, really stupid! (Rhett laughs) – That’s true. So according to these
two nimrods, we say– – [Rhett And Link] Bring it back! – We have the iconic
McDonald’s fried apple pie. It was introduced in 1968 as
McDonald’s first dessert item, but then it was actually replaced
by its basic second cousin which is a doughy baked apple pie in 1992. But right now, let’s take a
McTrip to the Mc1971 ad campaign that introduced a hellscape
known as McDonaldland where little kids never come back again. ♪ Take along a friend ♪ ♪ And grab ahold of Ronald’s hand ♪ – [Rhett] Oh gosh.
(sunny pop-rock music) ♪ Follow Ronald McDonald
through the land ♪ ♪ Of apple pie trees ♪ – Yeah so McDonaldland has since closed, but it has been featured on
several episodes of Dateline. (chuckling) – The only thing creepier
than that commercial is whatever Grimace is.
– Oh. I gotta say that–
– Pull these things in, buddy. – It’s catchy, it’s very catchy. – So you got the baked apple pies here, we got the fried over here. – So we wanted to do a side-by-side. – [Link] I’ll take this one. – I wanna do a side-by-side here. – Oh my goodness. – Now you might be wondering,
how did we get hold of a fried apple pie? – That’s right, the only
place that still serves them in the United States is
in Downey, California, which is the oldest McDonald’s
that’s still in existence. You can also get them at
select franchises in Canada, Mexico and Hawaii. – Yeah but the only place in
America you can get one is– – Downey.
– Right down there in Downey. – We went down to Downey. I’m gonna taste the baked one first. – It’s prettier. It’s got the traditional apple pie slits. – Mhm, I definitely remember these. The only thing that can ruin an apple pie is knowing that it used to be fried. – Mm, mhm. – How much better is it? – [Stevie] Just a point
that Hawaii is in the U.S., but it’s just not part of the– – Continental U.S.
– Continental U.S. For all the fans who are
about to comment that, thank you.
– Thank you. – I’m all about the continental U.S. – I thought I said continental, but I’m just thinking it all the time. – I didn’t. Hey. – It’s so much better to me. – First of all, I remember
this from childhood, and I remember the early
90s when it changed and nobody told me. – I didn’t realize that it changed, I just stopped ordering them. – Yeah, I stopped ordering it. And I remember, the thing
about the fried one, you may not think this is good but when you bite into
one end, it’s like hollow. – Yeah.
– You gotta go all the way like halfway down just
to get to the apple part. But you don’t care ’cause
you got trans fats! – Ronald bites the end off of this, what does he do with all that space? He hides contraband. – I’m glad you said contraband. (chuckles) Listen, I think that
when you make a decision about dessert, you shouldn’t
be thinking about health. They shouldn’t have made this change. Fried is better, go to Downey, or Hawaii, gosh!
– So much better! – [Rhett And Link] Bring it back! – Take yourself back to the 1960s. Counter culture was booming,
free love was abounding, and the Dole Company which
had cruelly overthrown the aboriginal Hawaiian
monarchy decades earlier had finally colluded
with the U.S. government to secure Hawaii as the last
state added to the union. So Dole pineapples were popular. Introduced in 1962, the
Hula Burger was meant to add an exotic twist and a non-meat
alternative for Catholics observing Lent to the menu. We couldn’t find an actual
pure Hula Burger commercial, but we did find a video from the 1980s where they introduced pineapple
to add an exotic twist to an actual regular burger. They called it the Gold ‘n’ Grill. ♪ Hey hey hey! ♪ ♪ Put some gold in your day ♪ ♪ Come on in and say
McDonald’s Gold ‘n’ Grill ♪ – [Announcer] It’s got real pineapple! – [Both] It’s got real pineapple! – Limited time only! Was that a Disney collab for McDonald’s? – I don’t know, you had
to be blonde to order it, there are lots of lawsuits. – (chuckles) Look at
this packaging though. Within these boxes, we have
two recreated Hula Burgers. – Yeah so here’s what we did.
– Amazing, guys. – Sourced the bun from
McDonald’s and purchased the same exact style and brand
of American cheese squares and then Dole pineapple cored rings, lightly grilled the
pineapples, added cheese, and covered them in buns. – Oh my gosh, look. There’s a little cubby
hole for your contraband. – You like finding
holes and thinking about what you can put in them, don’t you? – No. No, no.
– No, no I don’t. Okay so this didn’t last long. – Oh look, look, look, look, look! I removed the pineapple and it
left a little cheese dollop! – Maybe they should bring
it back just based on the excitement that it causes you. Now, again, there’s no meat in this, and I think that people
were super excited about the Hula Burger and many people were like, “Excuse me, they didn’t
put the beef on my burger,” and that’s why they discontinued it, but I’ve still gotta give it a try. – Maybe they were ahead of
their vegan, vegetarian trends. – It tastes exactly as you would imagine, if you were to take pineapple, put some American cheese
on it, and put it on a bun. – Well you may be thinking,
cheese and pineapple? Sounds gross, but actually, it’s good. – It’s not a bad taste
but it’s the kinda thing that you would make if
you had run out of food and you were snowed in,
you know what I’m saying? This isn’t something I
would order at a restaurant, this is something, if I
were given other options that I would pick,
there’s absolutely no way that they should bring this back, even if it is a little bit tasty. – It’s interesting. But you’re exactly right. – [Rhett] So ultimately,
nah, that’s whack. – McDonald’s fries have always
been some of the best fries on the fast food market, but allegedly, they used to be even
bester because pre-1990, they were cooked in beef tallow, which is purified beef fat.
– Mm, mm. – It made them more delicious, it gave them more saturated fat per ounce than a McDonald’s burger, however. So let’s dive back into
the hell hole that leads to McDonaldland and watch another ad. – French fry lovers! ♪ It’s a good time for
McDonald’s french fries ♪ – Oops!
– The Fry Guys! – [Fry Guys] Bye bye! – [Ronald] Give back those fries, guys! – [Fry Guys] Can’t catch us! – Oh The Fry Guys are really
thriving after BuzzFeed. (Link chuckles) – All right, bring in our
beef tallow prepared fries. All McDonald’s french fries are pre-cooked and only re-fried in oil to
deliver them warm and fresh– – I did not know that.
– At the store. Yeah, so what we did is
we took McDonald’s fries and then re-fried them
in the original recipe which is 7% cottonseed oil
and 93% straight beef fat. Now we’re not comparing these are we? – Yeah.
– We have those over there. I don’t wanna– – I wanted to get unadulterated experience before we just went to the,
these are the modern-day fries. – Mhm. – And these have, in the U.S. at least, they still have beef flavoring in them. – Right, in 1990 they switched, because the backlash
over how much cholesterol the beef tallow added,
so they just switched to beef flavoring and 100% vegetable oil. – There is definitely a difference, but I honestly can’t tell
you which one I like more. – Well they probably dialed
in that beef flavoring. – It’s almost too much for me. It’s almost too– – Mhm.
– It’s almost too beefy. I don’t know if my
palate has just adjusted to the modern-day fry. – There’s no doubt in
my mind they’re better, but they’re not so much better to justify bringing them back. – It’s not worth the years of disease that it will bring you.
(crew laughing) So unfortunately, as
much as I want to bring as much back and beef fat as possible, I think we’re gonna have to say– – [Rhett and Link] Nah, that’s whack. – It just occurred to me, are you dressed like the Hamburglar? – (laughs) You figured it out! – Where’s your hat and your mask, man? – In the back! – He’s the Hamburglar. – Ah, you blew my cover. No one needs McDonald’s to get fancy. No one wants McDonald’s to get fancy, but McDonald’s decided
to get fancy regardless of everybody’s thoughts and
feelings with the McLobster. – [Announcer] Our McLobster
is filled with big, tender chunks of Atlantic lobster. (theatrical music) (electricity crackling) This is one sandwich that’s
bound to please everyone. Well, almost everyone. ♪ At McDonald’s today ♪ – I love a fun commercial
about a living creature who we kill and then rip apart, who’s trying the best he can to prevent his species’ genocide. – Yeah, makes you hungry, doesn’t it? – Yeah. Mm, let’s get into it! – Okay so these were
actually a seasonal item– – [Link] Look at this. – In Canada, but they
officially pulled them in 2017 because they basically
are too expensive to make. Now Josh really did some
incredible work on this one because he followed what is
called the rule of thirds, wherein restaurants make a menu item for a third of the cost
of what it sells for to achieve profits, and
so based on our research, the last reported price of this was $9, so Josh made this sandwich for $3. – What? – This is a $3 lobster sandwich, so– – Here you go. – Set your expectations. – Well it smells kinda like the sea. – But it’s actual lobster, right? – [Josh] I’d like you guys to taste it before you ask any questions. (Rhett laughs)
– Okay. – It’s a little black
piece of something on it that I didn’t want. – I didn’t get one of those. – Tastes like a lobster roll, man. Kinda chewy. – [Josh] So it’s mostly lobster. – You got some crab in there as well? – [Josh] No, that was
also pretty expensive, so we did use imitation
chunk style lobster meat. It was how it was described,
but it’s about 70/30 real Atlantic lobster to
imitation chunk style. – What is imitation chunk style? – [Josh] It’s imitation lobster product that’s made from grinding
up, I believe it’s pollock, the fish from the sea
and then compressing it– – You know, the fish from the sea. – [Josh] Yes. (Rhett chuckles) – It’s not horrible. – It’s not bad at all. – But it’s really not great either. – It’s the kind of thing that, the thing I like about
McDonald’s is the items that they have are so different than what you normally expect that they had their own McDonald’s quality. Like even a burger. You can’t make a
McDonald’s burger at home. It is its own thing.
– Right. – And this is getting too
close to a actual lobster roll and still being nowhere
near a lobster roll, so the comparison in your mind is just, ah, a disappointment. – We can get them in food
trucks, they’re pretty great. But they cost like $18. – I had high hopes for this one. I thought we could bring it
back and make some money. – [Rhett And Link] But nah, that’s whack. – All right Ronald, onion
nuggets and fried apple pies. Get to work, buddy. – Also make the McRib
available year-round, please. – Thank you for liking,
commenting and subscribing. – You know what time it is. – Hi my name’s Christian
from Atlanta, Georgia. I’m doing a blindfolded
chicken nugget taste test for my birthday and it’s time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. – Cease and desist on the way. Click the top link to watch us play a game with 90s Happy Meal toys
in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality’s gonna land. This Mythical dad hat is the
perfect accessory to wear when making all of your
terrible yet amazing dad jokes. Get yours now at mythical.store.