Q&A: Chris Voss, Negotiation Expert – Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast (audio)

Q&A: Chris Voss, Negotiation Expert – Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast (audio)

– [Craig] Hey, it’s great to have you back for another episode of the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. I’m honored that you’d
spend some time with us every single month and
if you’re new at this, we do new teaching on the
first Thursdays of every month but guess what? It’s not the first Thursday of the month. This is a bonus episode. And what I wanted to do is try to add value to your leadership and share with you a new friend. His name is Chris Voss. He’s the author of one of my
favorite books that I’ve read in the last year or so. His book is called Never
Split The Difference. It’s all about negotiating and the reason this guy is
such a brilliant negotiator is because he was actually
a 24-year veteran of the FBI and he was the lead hostage negotiator so if you could imagine, when someone’s taken hostage
in any part of the world, this guy would come in and
he would be on the front line to try and negotiate
the freedom of a hostage in a situation. This book is incredible,
this guy is someone that you’re gonna wanna follow. His book is Never Split The Difference so get ready to take notes. I promise this will be helpful. Let’s now go to the
interview with Chris Voss. (high-pitched music) – [Announcer] This is the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. – [Craig] Hey, Chris. It’s a awesome honor to have you on the Craig Groeschel
Leadership Podcast today. – [Chris] Thank you very much. It is an honor. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me on. – [Craig] So I’m kind of a fan. I’ve been listening to
your book three times. – [Chris] (laughs) Thank you. – [Craig] And learned
something new every single time and I am really, really
excited to have our audience learn about your book,
Never Split The Difference and everywhere I go, I’m
recommending it like literally several times a week. Some people, when I tell them about it, they think, well, I don’t
ever really need to negotiate. In my opinion, this is the best book on negotiating I’ve ever read– – Thank you.
– And I’ve read several. How would you help someone see that this book applies
really to everybody? – [Chris] Yeah, well two things: first of all, the most
dangerous negotiation is one you don’t know you’re in. So anytime the words or the
thought, I want, is in your mind or somebody’s trying to
get somebody to say yes and then there’s another human being somewhere in the equation,
you’re in a negotiation. It’s not just with money. Money as a commodity is probably involved in maybe a third of negotiations. I mean, the most important commodity that’s in each and every
negotiation is time. You’re trying to get
somebody to do something or you’re trying to get
somebody to take an action. As a hostage negotiator, the term we use was behavioral change but you’re trying to get
somebody to do something, you’re probably in a negotiation. – [Craig] I use this book,
your techniques in parenting, in working through conflict. It really is amazing, the principles. So you alluded to where
you learned about this and a lot of our audience
won’t know your background. My gut is because of where
you learned to negotiate, your style, and the
necessity to get it right. It mattered more in what you did. Can you tell our audience a little bit about your background? Where’d you learn to negotiate? And how is it different than many others? – [Chris] Well, I worked for a relatively obscure
federal agency, the FBI. (Chris laughs) I was an FBI hostage negotiator, eventually I became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator which meant any American getting kidnapped anywhere in the world, it was my job to figure out a negotiation
strategy to get ’em out of it and just to draw a fine line. If you got arrested by the
North Korean government, we didn’t call that a
kidnapping, that was an arrest, maybe an illegal detention,
that wasn’t my thing but if your random kidnapper in mexico who’s just trying to make
some money grabbed you, it was my job to come up
with a negotiation strategy. Basically, we’re on a sting operation, get the hostage out, lay the groundwork for a following investigation,
get the bad guys. So that was my deal. I became a hostage negotiator
when I was in New York and I ran the Hostage
Negotiation Team in New York City and then to become a hostage
negotiator in the first place, I volunteered on a crisis hotline. – [Craig] So Chris, we got a lot of people that are our leaders,
we got a lot of people that are kind of emerging leaders, what are some different examples
in every day business life, if I’m an entry-level
employee that I’m trying to help influence others
around me or lead up, what are some examples of different ways that people will negotiate
maybe not for a big land deal or commercial real estate deal but just an everyday work life, Monday to Friday in the office? – [Chris] Well, alright. So you’re given a tough task by your boss and you’re not sure
really how to handle it and your boss is just
kinda taking an attitude like, figure it out! Sink or swim! A really counterintuitive
thing to do is with deference because our approach is always deference. Deference works on everybody. We like approaches and
skills that work 360 degrees. So believe it or not, you
could say to your boss, do you want me to fail? The craziest thing about
that is instead of trying to get somebody, your boss or
somebody else will say yes, people love to say no
when they feel protected and safe when they say no. And especially when you’ll
be given a difficult task by your boss, then your boss’s
reaction is gonna be, no, no! It gives your boss the
opportunity to rescue you, to help you out, to save you which makes people feel really good and also, this is what we would
refer to as a calibrated no and a calibrated no is usually
worth at least five yeses. So not only will your boss say no, no, no, the boss will immediately kick in with four or five more pieces of guidance that’ll really help you out
and your boss at the same time is gonna feel good about it and feel like they’ve mentored you which then of course makes them more invested in your success, makes them really wanna
help you out even more which is really what you want. And so you could do and
you can use a calibrated no with anybody, especially with people in more powerful positions than you ’cause they just love it. – [Craig] I’d like to stay on that topic for just a little bit
more because that to me was one of probably the top
five takeaways of your book. I always thought a no was bad and you would actually teach that negotiation often begins with a no. – [Chris] Yeah because we realize that what we were doing in hostage negotiation, when I would come across Jim
Camp’s book, Start with No which was a business book,
so Jim’s idea initially was making someone feel
like it’s okay to say no which preserves our autonomy and since their autonomy is preserved, and they’re not attacked,
they’re more likely to be collaborative, they’re more likely to ultimately agree with you and so Jim would say at the
beginning of a negotiation, look, say no anytime. You’re free to say no and
make me go away at any time. And then we thought, well, what happens if you actually trigger a no? What happens next? So we took it to the
next level and found that he creates his great collaboration, that the act of saying
no makes people feel safe and protected and consequently, feeling safe and protected,
it tends to calm him down and they think things through, and this even works as one of
the few negotiation techniques that work really well
when people are tired, like when you’re suffering
from decision fatigue at the end of the day. I had an intern working for
me who used to like to ask me how to do stuff all the
time ’cause he was horrified at getting stuff wrong. I mean, this guy was just too
afraid of making mistakes. And finally, I sent him
an email and I said, “Never ask me an open-ended question “after one o’clock in
the afternoon ever again. “You got any questions for
me, turn the question around “so that I can say no
and it’ll move us forward “because no matter how tired I am, “no matter how frustrated
I am, at any given day, “I’m always gonna be able to say no “and it’s always gonna clear my head.” and I made the guy a lot more effective and made our communication
a lot more effective by switching over to that approach. – [Craig] This is so counterintuitive because we tend to think,
yeah, I want everybody to say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes but I even liked Chris, you talked about, if I called you on the phone and said, is now a good time? And you say yes, that’s
kind of a threatening place ’cause you have no idea
how much of your time I’m gonna take up. If I said, is now a bad time? And you have the freedom to say no, it gives you the feeling
of being in control and that actually puts
me in a better place when you feel comfortable and feel like you have
the ability to say no. – [Chris] Exactly! And nobody that works for me ever says, have you got a few minutes to talk? We all say, is now a bad time to talk when we call people on the phone? The change is just incredible
what a difference it makes and how quickly we can become effective in our conversations. – [Craig] The other thing
that you said real quickly, and I wanna give you a
minute just to expand on it, is you said one no and
I can’t remember exactly how you said it but it can
lead to so many more yeses and this is something I did recently. I asked somebody, “Have
you given up on this deal?” – [Chris] Ah, yes. – [Craig] And what they
said was, “Well, no.” and then they started telling me, it was probably three
or four things quickly of why they were still in
it and what they would need to feel good about moving forward. And so I literally got
many yeses, small yeses out of giving them the covering
and the freedom to say no and so they felt empowered
and they told me way more than I knew otherwise. – [Chris] Yeah, it’s crazy
the way people’s brains will kick into gear and
that’s very consistent with what happens. They’re gonna give you an awful
lot of guidance immediately, would send a course, then continues to vest
’em in the interaction. You follow that guidance,
they’re with you 100% of the way. – [Craig] So you also
talked about the phrase that I really loved, tactical empathy, and if my memory’s right, you were talking about
emotional intelligence and kinda like emotional
intelligence on steroids which I love that phrase. Can you describe to our listeners
what is tactical empathy and how is it a good tool to
use in moving a deal forward? – [Chris] Yeah, well we know so much more about the way the brain works these days and when people first started
to use the word empathy and I’m also trying to make the point that if we know what we’re looking for, why don’t we just sit back and wonder? We know that negative emotions bang around in people’s brains and at least three to
nine times more influence on decision making than positive ones. We know that. We also know exactly how to diffuse it. Now, hostage negotiators learn how to diffuse negative emotions. Back in the 1970s, but we
were just kinda making it up and experimenting in
high-intensity situations and we didn’t have
neuroscience to back it up. The neuroscience now shows
that negative emotions are dispersed, diffused, dispelled
by simple identification, just by calling them out,
especially don’t deny it. Denying a negative is a really bad idea but they did an experiment where they induced negative
emotions on people, they can watch their brain activity, and then they asked a
person each and every time to simply say, what are
you feeling right now? Identify the negative emotion. And each and every time
somebody identified that negative emotion verbally, the negative activity
in the brain diminished, not some of the time, every time! So let’s take a tactical
application of this knowledge. If I know that simply
calling out a negative diminishes it every single time and it’s the biggest
obstacle to agreement, then tactically, if I’m smart, I’m gonna start with the negatives and I’m gonna say look, it seems like you’re really frustrated with how they’re dealing with you. And internally, that’s actually a very specifically-designed phrase. In particular in that case,
I avoided using the word, I. A lot of people in this thing will say, well, what I’m hearing
is you’re frustrated. That’s a bad way to approach it and you just say, it seems
like you’re frustrated. Tactically, that induces contemplation where a person internally
in their brain says, am I frustrated? Hmm. I was! And they don’t know it just went away so we know enough about
how this operates now from real specific science, that it’s just silly to make other choices and that’s why we refer to it as tactical. It’s a tactical application of
how we know the brain works. – [Craig] So how important is it if we’re in a negotiation with each other, is my end goal always get the deal done or is there something else
that I wanna make sure that you acknowledge? – [Chris] Well, it’s kinda two things. As a negotiator, I wanna find
out the best deal possible and I want a long-term
collaborative relationship as a mercenary. Now, we always say pick
a negotiation skill that both the mercenaries and
the missionaries would like. As a mercenary, I want
a long-term relationship because I’m gonna make more money, I’m gonna have more collaboration, I’m gonna have less problems. So I like it ’cause it works. Daniel Goldman would refer
to this kind of empathy as cognitive empathy and actually says, “The people that are best
at it are sociopaths.” and interestingly enough,
what does that tell you? What that tells you is it’s
the most effective means of communication out there for durable, lasting,
trust-based influence ’cause sociopaths are lazy
and they don’t wanna go back and rebuild the relationship every time. Now, second task, the
missionaries like it. Do I like to do it just for good reasons? Because as a human being, I wanna have a great
relationship with you. I want you to feel good about
how we’re working together. I want you to feel motivated. I wanted to make you feel
better as a human being. So the answer to that is yes also! So a test of if it’s effective and it’s just the right thing to do, kick it into gear and use it. Do not be deterred because
sociopaths like it. Sociopaths use cellphones. Does that stop you from
using your cellphone? No, it does not. It’s only a tool. What’s the purpose that
you’re using the tool for? And our purpose is, is
everybody prosperous? – [Craig] Chris, you said a
quote something like this, one of your definitions of negotiation is the art of letting
other people have your way? Is that how you said it? – [Chris] Yeah, that’s one of ’em. Yeah. – [Craig] So as someone
who loves leadership, it seems to me that a good negotiation, would you say it’s fair
to say is leading someone to a desired result? – [Chris] Nuancing in the terms, a lot of this is based on what the therapy is
called guided discovery. So are you leaving them
or are you guiding them? Depends probably what
your leadership style is but when you guide them to
it, the guided discovery, which is why it’s a great therapy tool, is then they own it more. You point ’em in a particular direction or you shape their attention
at specific things in a way that is gentle, it’s guiding, and then when they discover
it and they obtain epiphanies and they feel vested and they feel all-in and then simultaneously,
there’s a gratitude there which might be referred to as empathy. You want empathy being established as a two-way relationship. So yeah, it is a leadership issue and are you leading them
or are you guiding them? Ideally, you’re guiding them
and because it would seems like it takes more time initially, actually will save you a
lot more time long run. – [Craig] So give us
some practical questions to guide someone if let’s say you’re in a hostage negotiation and they’re making some kind
of demand that’s extreme or maybe we’re trying to
buy a piece of property and the price is way too high and you wanna ask a question
that’s going to help guide them to helping find a solution. What’s your best question you will ask? – [Chris] Well, I might say,
when all this started today, what’d you have in mind? And that’s a combination
of a when-what question. Well, I’m gonna try to point you at a specific moment in time that benefits both of
us and that’s the when, and the what is what were you thinking is a way to get you talking? And some particular
avoidance of the word why. We might need to find out why but why triggers, makes people defensive. My director of operations, my son, and he’s convinced that
when we were little kids, anytime anybody said, “Why’d you do that?” we learned that we were always wrong. (laughs) Your parents never said why’d you do that unless you messed up so we started getting
pounded into our head at a very young age that why is an attack, why is, I’m getting ready to
get in trouble for doing this but you didn’t need to find
out why people are doing stuff so you put a what in it’s place and you might put a when
to point their attention at a particular point in time. When this is all over,
where would you like to be? – [Craig] Talk to me
about the how questions. If I’m asking for something big and you wanna put it back on
me to help solve the problem, how would you use the question how? – [Chris] I would say, how
am I supposed to do that? People love to be asked how. You can ask it in a differential way. It makes people feel in
control when you ask ’em how. People love to tell other
people how to do stuff so we’re using the word how to create a collaborative environment but actually am putting it back on you. When I say how, I’m trying to load you down with the problem. If you are powerful
’cause I’ve asked you how, but you don’t know that I’ve just stopped
you dead in your tracks, I made you stop and think,
triggered some in-depth thinking, and I’m getting the upper hand
and you don’t know I have. – [Craig] Yeah, again, I think this is one of the big takeaways, at least for me, is if we’re negotiating and you
ask me how I feel empowered, I feel like I’m in control, but what I’m in control of
is solving your problem. – [Chris] Exactly, exactly. I put you on my problem. If you’re creating a problem, which in many cases, your adversary has got at least some share in the problem that’s why you’re talking to each other. I’m gonna burden you with it
which is gonna slow you down and also creates this great
collaborative environment. – [Craig] Right. One of the things that also
was a big takeaway for me Chris is if I’m in a negotiation with somebody, I always loved to hear
the words, you’re right, meaning hey, Craig, you’re right, and you would say that’s
actually not the best response. Can you kinda unpack that for us? – [Chris] Oh man, that’s
a horrible response! We just don’t know that. You’re right is what we say to people to get them to shut up and stop talking. If you’re hammering me,
if you’re coming in on me, the only thing that you might like to hear better than yes is you’re right and if I want you to just shut up, I wanna maintain a relationship either because I want
to or because I have to, all I have to do is look at
you and say, you’re right. And you’re gonna get so, so happy! – [Craig] I’m thinking marriage right now. I don’t know how many
times a month it’s like, “Okay, you’re right. “Go away. “You’re right.” So there’s something better
than that, you would teach. – [Chris] Yeah, well the
two-millimeter shift that, borrow a description from Tony Robbins, “The two-millimeter shift
is you wanna get people “to say, that’s right,
instead of you’re right.” That’s right is what we say when we believe a thousand
percent in what we just heard. This simultaneously
triggers a sudden epiphany and it’s how to apply
Stephen Covey’s guides from way back when, “Seek
first and understand “then be understood.” The other side is signaling to you they feel completely understood if they look at you and
they say, that’s right, and they’re also telling you
they just feel empathy from you and that powerful desire that collaborate after that is incredible. – [Craig] You wrote in the book, “We fear what’s different and we’re drawn to what’s similar.” and then you introduced a
powerful tool of mirroring. So let’s say I’m in a
discussion with a boss and I wanna find out more, can you explain what is that this art of insinuating similarity
with the tool of mirroring? What is mirroring? How do we use it? – [Chris] Yeah, on a great
distinction we have to draw ’cause a hostage
negotiator’s mirroring is not the body language guys’ mirroring. The body language guy is gonna teach you, mimic their physical moves. If he puts his hand to his chin, you put your hand to your chin. If he crosses his arm,
you cross your arms. We’re not doing that. Do not do that. The hostage negotiator’s mirror is repeating first and
last one to three words of what someone has
just said word for word. And then when you get really good at it, then you’ll shift from the
last one to three words to the words that you want
the boss to talk more about. So if your boss is giving you guidance and he says, look, I want you
to get this done by tomorrow. You might say, done by tomorrow? And the boss will say, well, yeah! Because this, this, this, and this and that’s why this deadline is important plus I just like to stay ahead of the game ’cause he’s now completely
forgotten you mirrored before you go stay ahead of the game. And the boss will say, yeah! Because of this, this, this, and this. Now you’ve got a whole bunch
of really good guidance. You haven’t challenged them
in any way, shape, or form, and when you repeat those important words, that the boss said, out of their mouth, they feel this resonance with you. They feel the synergy with you and you wanna go on but in a different way about the words that you mirrored so it’s actually a much better substitute instead of saying, what
do you mean by that? I don’t ever ask anybody
what you mean by that. When they have said something
that I wanna clarify, I will mirror those words
and I get a great expansion and clarity plus they feel really good about giving the me the guidance. – [Craig] They do, and it feels awkward at first to do that. You almost think they’re gonna notice this but the truth is, it
gives them the freedom to keep on talking and it seems like people enjoy doing that. – [Chris] Yes! It’s so invisible and like you said, the first few times you try
it, it feels so awkward. You’re sure that they’re
just gonna burst into flames or something right in front of you, start screaming at you
and frothing at the mouth. And they don’t even notice it! I mean, they just go on! They love it, they like it! It’s a great stealth Jedi skill. – [Craig] It is a great
stealth Jedi skill. (Chris laughs) – [Chris] Yes it is! – [Craig] I was just trying to (laughs). – [Chris] When you said that, I’m always drawn to responding to that. When you said that, I
feel myself being drawn to answer you and go on and I know you’re doing it to me and that’s why I laughed about it. I’m like, yeah! And then I wanna say some more. There’s a delightful
feeling on the other side which works for good for you long-term in a relationship as well. – [Craig] I’d love to
get your opinion, Chris. We have people write in every month and ask all sorts of questions. One of the most common questions we get, literally dozens each month, asks some form of how do I lead up, how do I influence my boss. I think if they were gonna ask
it with negotiation language, they might say, how do I
negotiate for more freedom? I’ve got ideas and yet
I often feel controlled. What advice would you give to someone to help supervisors see, I can be trusted, if you give
me a little more freedom, I might actually be able
to get something done? – [Chris] Well, yeah, alright. If your boss is a control freak, they’re fear-driven, right? And we talked before about
how the fact that fear is scaring people and it’s
the most dominating factor in people’s decision making so you would wanna go in and say, what do you wanna deny with the boss? What you wanna deny is
they can’t be trusted to do stuff on your own. You wanna say, I don’t want you to think that I can’t handle this alone. So the two-millimeter shift
go from denial of observation and you can say, look,
it probably seems to you like I can’t handle this alone. That is incredible
relationship, trust building. We refer to this as trust-based influence. You wanna develop trust-based
influence with your boss. And so you start out by
diffusing the negatives by just calling ’em out. I’m sure it seems like, it
looks like, it feels like. It feels like you’re really
concerned about this project. It feels like you’re
under a lot of pressure. It feels like you got a lot on the line. And it doesn’t whether or not your boss is actually under the pressure, the control freaks, they
feel under pressure. You need to be able to get
yourself some breathing room and you get yourself some breathing room by first just diffusing the
negatives by calling ’em out. So then, you ask a couple
of nos into your questions. You don’t want ’em wasting time with you sitting in his office, you might say, do you want me to waste
time in your office? Then the answer to that is gonna be no! Well, no, no! I don’t need you there, I just need to make sure that I get things right. And you might mirror it, get things right? Well yeah, here’s what I really need. When the boss lays out for you
what he wants yo you to do, if you can fully summarize
it to get a that’s right, now the two of you completely
agreed on the guidance plus your boss feels really
good about the interaction. Now you’re gonna go
back out and of course, you gotta do what he says! And if you do what he says, he’ll actually begin to look out for you. This is not paying limp
service to the guidance. If the boss gives you
guidance that you know is not gonna work, which
occasionally happens, then you come back with
do you want me to fail or a good how question, how
much time do you want me to spend on a task that looks
like it’s gonna have problems? Again, this is constantly
giving it back to your boss to feel safe and in control
which then triggers them, if anything will, into loosening up. What’s your best chance of success? Your best chance of success
is developing empathy with your boss so that they feel safe around you in your actions, and a follow one is you
gotta take that guidance. You have to actually do what they want. If it’s problematic, you gotta
negotiate with them in a way that they understand it’s problematic and change the guidance
so that you don’t fail. – [Craig] So I think one
of the things that you said and you’re just introducing that idea is really, really profound. If I’m working for someone
who is a control freak, I can’t remember exactly how
you said it but you said, “They’re driven by fear.” and so often, I feel like I’m not trusted but the reality is, my boss or supervisor, he or she is really scared
to death of losing control. And so I think if I can identify with that fear, that emotion, and they feel that I
understand the pressure that they’re under, that creates a bond that
then creates a bridge that might lead to more trust. – [Chris] Exactly, exactly. It’s an indirect route to
getting things done faster. – [Craig] One of the
things you’ve talked about that was, I like the phrase, and I think it could be
helpful to some people and you talked about extreme
anchoring in negotiation. What do you mean by extreme anchoring? – [Chris] Well, there’s the
anchoring of terms, dollars, somebody who wants to
buy something for $10 and they start off by saying like, look, I’ll give you $2 for this. That’s an anchor on and off. And there’s also anchoring of emotions. Emotions are tend to
be anchored negatively in terms of what people
are afraid of losing so I’m gonna change their
anchoring of the terms by changing their
anchoring on the emotions and what do I mean by that? A quick example: an employee is in a job where they’re short-handed
and the boss is like, I can’t give anybody any time off ’cause a couple of people quit, we’re under a lot of pressure. So the employee happened to
be someone we were coaching, needed some vacation time. He knew the boss wasn’t gonna
go for any vacation time, they won’t even let him take any days off. She goes into the boss’ office and says, “I got really bad news.” and then you shut up. And you let the boss’
emotions anchor themselves. They’re gonna be negative, the boss is immediately gonna
think, oh my god, oh my god! You’re quitting, five people are quitting. What’s the emotional anchor there? And so finally the boss
says, “What is it?” and the lady said, “I
need these four days off.” and he says, “Oh, wow, I
thought you were gonna quit. “Of course, you can
have the four days off.” (Chris laughs) – [Craig] That is so funny
because I hear some version of that all the time,
probably once a week, once every other week,
“I’ve got really bad news. “I’ve got something horrible to tell you.” and almost every time,
I feel relieved by it because it’s never as
bad as what I anticipate and that’s interesting. Along that line, Chris,
I was telling somebody about your book and kinda bragging on it, how much it helped me, and
they pushed back saying, “Well that kinda sounds like
manipulation or cheating.” What would you say to somebody
who might take that attitude? – [Chris] Well, it’s the tool response. That same person, they’d
be fine congratulating you. It’s really an issue of
whether or not you’re sincere. If I tell you, this is the
greatest podcast that ever was. You’d be like, yeah! Thanks! It’s true! And by the way, it is
a phenomenal podcast, your downloads are insane and you’re putting out
great content for people. – [Craig] Thank you. – [Chris] But compliments are manipulation so it’s kinda in the eye of the beholder and that same person who
says manipulation is bad, in many cases, they won’t
hesitate to criticize you, what are they trying to do? They’re trying to get you to manipulat you and they’re changing your behavior so one man’s manipulation
is another man’s influence. It’s in the eye of the beholder. Again, it’s what you
use in your tools to do. Are you trying to create
great collaboration or are you trying to get people to do things that they shouldn’t do? We’re trying to create
great collaboration. What the tools are capable of, it’s in the hands of the
person that’s using them. – [Craig] If people wanna
find out more about you Chris, what’s the best way for them to follow you or find out more? – [Chris] Yeah, well, we put out a weekly complimentary
newsletter called The Edge and people who’ve read the book love it and because it’s a great supplement and it’s a short, sweet
read every Tuesday morning. It’s not long, it doesn’t weary out, it kinda tease you up for the day and it gives you your weekly recharge. And the best way to subscribe to The Edge, ’cause it’s a gateway to
everything that we have. Gateway to the website, gateway
to training, everything, is to text the word FBIempathy
and make it all one word. Don’t let your auto correct
put a space in between and make it two words. One word, FBIempathy, no space. Send a text to 228-28, and that’s 228-28, you get a response back,
it’ll sign you up for The Edge and it’ll be a great
supplement to the book. A lot of people really
like it and it’s free! – [Craig] Well, I wanna tell you, Chris, thanks for your work, thank you for the way you’ve
influenced our organization, and appreciate you taking
the time to be on today. If you’re writing any more books, I’m gonna be the first to order it and just tell you, a big thank you. – [Chris] Thank you, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks for having me on. – [Announcer] Thanks again for joining us at the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. If you’re enjoying learning
from Craig on this podcast, you can show your support by subscribing, rating, and reviewing on iTunes and sharing with your
friends on social media. If you’re looking for the
leader guide of this episode, you can go to
life.church/leadershippodcast. In that leader guide, you’ll
find a recap of this episode, discussion questions,
and additional resources to hone your leadership skills. Until next time, thank you for joining us at the Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast. (lively music)

5 thoughts on “Q&A: Chris Voss, Negotiation Expert – Craig Groeschel Leadership Podcast (audio)

  1. Do you have anything talking about being a leader under someone with less experience or knowledge and how to deal with that and work for them, including how to go about subjects that you know more about than they do? Even to the point knowing something they're leading could fail because of their lack of experience or knowledge. Should this be handled differently inside the church versus the secular world?

  2. Would it be a ridiculous thing to ask Greg Koukl to collaborate with Chris Voss? Koukl's TATICS seems like an easier tool than NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE. Greg's "What do you mean by that?" is not very good as Chris reminds us: The Voss brand of isopraxism seems better. Although when using this method Chris uses it tends to get a plain ol' "Yes" half of the time from my experience. For me, asking "What do you mean by (insert those one to three key words)?" seemingly worked 100%! It's like Greg says, they often don't know what they mean because it's just a bare assertion thus, the "Yes," response. Chris would probaly be more helpful in helping Greg's book becoming more useful even though Greg wrote the easier to use book. Chris seems to know what to say better than anyone, and both of their books would be beneficial for any worldview!

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