My Honest Feelings About Self-Care

My Honest Feelings About Self-Care


– My goodness, doesn’t it feel
good to be back here again. Yes! We need wine for this. (energetic music) Welcome back to Wine Wednesday
where we don’t believe in complaining, but if you’re
gonna whine then pour me some. I’m really excited because
now I actually have very, very cool… I mean like
all wines are cool okay? Let’s be honest, but since
my last Wine Wednesday Vin and I went to Italy and
we finally got the wine that we ordered in the mail. Which if you didn’t know,
fun fact, free shipping takes approximately two months. Okay. It was a long time to wait. So this is the Vino
Nobile di Montepulciano. So we were suppose to go to Siena, but we couldn’t get there. Just didn’t really work with the drive, but instead we went to Montepulciano and I can not be happier that we did. I can not wait to go back there. This is one of the wines that we got, this is the Riserva 2013. There’s so many Italian words on here and they’re all pretty and
like I’m not gonna be good at saying them, but that’s
all I know and it’s delicious. Also just a quick note that this episode of Wine Wednesday on AmyTV
is sponsored by Airtable and if you’re curious to
hear what wine and software, very easy to use software, have in common then stay tuned until the end because I have a treat for you. Okay? It’s good. Sounding a little bit like
I’m obsessed with wine because I just went to Italy like every other basic woman on Instagram. So I wanted to talk today,
not whine, just talk. Just talk a little bit about self care. It’s something that we talk
a lot about on this channel and I kinda got the idea
that maybe we should just get a little deeper on it. Just a little bit, a little bit deeper because I realized when I
was having a conversation, actually I think on this
couch for detail therapy, the podcast, with my best
friend Sarah, we were talking about self care and how
it’s a little bit different for everyone. But it’s one of those many arbitrary terms that’s being passed around
the internet so many times and we get the same
basic advice all the time from people and so I
thought we should discuss it and me share my feelings
about it with you. First, and most importantly,
my opinion about self care is it’s one million percent necessary. Self care is extremely important. The bottom line is that
it’s gonna be different for everyone, but if
you’re not doing it at all then we’ve got a real problem on our hands and this can look really
basic for you in terms of self care or it could be extra, extra. But regardless on that,
it’s extremely important. We’ve gotta have those moments where we truly take care of ourselves. The cliche is okay you gotta put your mask on first guys ’cause
you’re not gonna be able to put your mask on if
you help everybody else in the world and you never
do yourself a justice. Sometimes it’s a little controversial too, you know, considering
yourself before others, but unfortunately if we
don’t then we’re not going to go after the life that we want because we’re gonna be
too busy filling our mind and filling our stress
and filling our worlds with a lot of things
that don’t matter to us because we forget to balance. That being said, the reason
I wanted to create this video is because I have strong
feelings about the fact that there’s a lot of
people in the world defining what self care is for other people. This usually happens when
you’re updating a friend in your life and they’re
telling you like oh wow. Oh that’s what’s going on? Oh you’re stressed? Oh you need to do this
or you need to do that. First of all, you guys know
how I am when people tell me what to do especially if they
have should in the sentence. You know after somebody
says should I just like, I stop hearing anything
coming out of their mouth. You should (mumbles). It doesn’t happen for me. Being the person who says
like you should do this or you need to do this or you need to go and do that I mean that’s
just not going to help anybody who may actually need,
maybe not hear it from you, but need to take some time for themselves. They don’t need you to tell them what you think their
version of self care is. It’s called self care for a reason so everybody has to make
that decision for themselves and I think that we’re getting
a little bit carried away with oh okay these are all
the ways that you self care. The reason this is top of
mind for me is, obviously, I just finished writing
“Good Morning Good life” and “Good Morning Good Life”,
overall, is a self care guide. In my opinion, if you start
your day on your own terms, on your own terms, then you can have a better day than most, but when we wake up in a reactionary state and everything is affecting
us and we blame the world for all of our problems
it’s just not good. Not everyone’s gonna be a morning person, not everyone needs the most
extravagant of mornings, but I do think that waking
up on the right wave length on your way of doing things
is critically important. But from there, do you. I can’t sit here and say that rolling over and looking at your phone is negatively affecting
you throughout the day. There are people who I feature in the book who do roll over in the
morning, maybe not roll over, sit up in the morning, turn the news on, and start scrolling
the news on their phone as well just to get updated
and that works for them. I have an argument if you
are in a negative space, you’re in a rut, and
you do nothing but stare at your phone every waking hour. Every literal waking hour, but I can’t say that that’s
not good for some people. Some people are really
trying to get a jump on what the news is for the day ’cause that might be part of their job, it might be something that
they’re super passionate about, whatever the case may be. It propels them forward. So as much as I’d love to say, “Hey self care, don’t look at your phone “when you first wake up.” That’s not a blanket statement. I can’t do that. Now you might see me
advocate a lot for it, but that’s because the people
I mostly come in contact with probably do need that
to be an update in their life and that’s what they’re coming
to me for information for, but just go walking up to somebody and saying like, “Aw man,
you woke up this morning “and looked at Twitter?
You need to stop that.” Like, why? ‘Cause they’re a little
stressed out today, because they’re not having the best day, because their kids are
making them a little crazy? Like, no that’s not
gonna be the thing that is their self care. I also think this is happening
a lot with meditation. I feel so many different ways
about meditation (laughs) like it’s awesome when you’re doing it, but it’s also nerve wracking
’cause you’re thinking am I doing this right?
Am I doing this right? And that’s like the thing
you’re trying to stop doing is overthinking ’cause you’re meditating. I think it’s to each their own. I try to do it as much as I can because I actually like the idea of oh hey Amy this is your assigned time to slow your brain down. That is something that I
would find to be self caring to myself, but if I’m
holding my feet to the fire and like gotta do the 20 minutes today, gotta do the 20 minutes today. That doesn’t feel like self care to me. So I kinda do it on my own, just sorta, volition
like whenever I feel like if I’ve got a bonus 10
minutes in my morning routine because I breezed right through,
you know, my morning pages then I might try to fit it
in, but this going around to everybody and saying,
“You’ve gotta meditate, “you’ve gotta stop, you don’t
have time to not meditate.” Well okay, slow your
role a little bit though because if you’re sitting
there and your anxiety is going up and up and up and up and up ’cause you’re overthinking
what you’re doing, yes it’s gonna take some practice, but no it may not be self
care for somebody right now. So immediately putting that
on people is not something that I’m a fan of. Another feeling I have is spa days. I’m a huge advocate of a good spa day to take care of yourself. I think that’s a great idea, but there are many people who
have zero interest in that. Like talk to a dude, tell
him to have a spa day, like, I don’t know. Everything is different for everyone. We actually went to a spa
while we were in Italy over the summer and there
were many people in the family who all went and it was a
really interesting experience. It was one of those things
where you tour all these pools and they’re all different temperatures and they’re all different like salt levels and stuff and it was suppose
to be this experience. You could also get massages and facials and naturally I got a lot
of things done that day. I couldn’t even get the oils
shampooed out of my hair that night. I shampooed my hair four times because I had had too many
services done that the oils would not get out of my hair. It was unbelievably frustrating and yet the most soothing day ever. But there were people
in that group who were so uninterested in the massage, but you got a free massage when, it was kinda like a theme park. Italy’s amazing! They have spa theme parks there. So even if you weren’t
really into massages you were like well I got
a free 30 minute massage, wherever you go do it. Getting a European massage
is not the same thing as getting an American massage, okay? So if that’s your first experience you’re about to get a
really big awakening. (laughs) So you can’t say that the spa is everyone’s self care because just because it’s
been branded that way does not mean that it’s true. But here are a few things
that I believe are no doubt about it self care that
absolutely everyone needs and you can tell me if I’m wrong because it would prove
the point of this video, but here’s what they are. Ample sleep, nutrition
that is above board, exercise at least some of the time so you can move your
body, I think it should be a few times a week, and
a good morning, good life. Those are the four things
that I really believe are the bare minimum self
care for absolutely everybody. No matter what you gotta do you. That’s it. I talk about that in the book a lot. Just do you, do you, do you. You have to do what’s right for you and that alone might be
the best form of self care that you experience because
if you have a really hard time with that right now then
maybe you just need to get in touch with what do you actually means. Question of the day, what is
something that you consider to be self care for yourself
that you actually do regularly? It doesn’t have to be every single day but something that you do regularly to just take some time for you. Leave that in the comments below. Thanks to today’s sponsor
of Wine Wednesday of AmyTV and that is our friends at Airtable. Airtable is allowing people
and companies everywhere to make their own software
but just without worrying about their technical experience. Millions of people are using Airtable to build their own software. Everything from directories,
to product inventories, to content management systems, and they have an incredible
amount of templates which makes me so excited about this. You don’t have to be a business
to actually use Airtable which is why I wanted to talk about them because when you actually
see their platform you get really excited
about all of the ways that you can get a little bit
more organized in your life. Maybe even organizing
something like a hobby and maybe that hobby is wine. So because we just got back from Italy we have quite a bit
of wine that we bought there. We get a lot of different
wines in the mail that we order just from
clubs that we’re in or organizations that we
wanna try their product so I love that there
is an Airtable template for building a wine cellar inventory. You don’t have to be a business
to track your inventory, but it’s so fun to be able to
keep track of all the details, tracking the origins of
places, where it’s from, the type of wine that it is, and start ranking because then you might just be a little bit of a somm in your own home. If you wanna be, I guess we
call it, amateur sommelier. That’s what I’m into ’cause
I don’t have a whole lot of hobbies people, okay, I
make videos and it’s a lot of fun but I still have
to find things outside of work I’m passionate about
and guess what. (laughs) Airtable helps to support my
passion for tracking my wine. If you check out Airtable
you’re gonna be able to dig through a ton of
different inspiration they present to you. You can check all these
different categories and all the different needs that you have. Go and find some of the templates that are gonna work great for you. The link’s in the
description and for those of you who sign up you
will get a $50 credit just for being a friend of Amy TV. That’s all for today, thank
you so much for tuning in. I appreciate it as always
and make sure you subscribe for good vibes, kiss the ones you love, and go after the life that you want. Cheers. (upbeat music) I have an idea. What if the whole channel
was Wine Wednesday? Why do I do anything else? This is great. Too many lipstick stains, hold on. You can only have one on
camera or it looks real sloppy.

100 thoughts on “My Honest Feelings About Self-Care

  1. Carbs are my self care. Stay with me for a second…. I try to choose lower carb foods for the most part. But sometimes, I just want some freaking pasta. I decided to stop feeling guilty when I "indulged" and just label that thing I love as self care. Boom! Guilt gone. Call it eating your feelings if you want. But it totally works for me when I feel I need to be extra when it comes to taking care of my mental health.

  2. Self care isn’t the same for everyone, hence the word, self. We are all different and what you think may work for someone, may not actually work for them regardless of your good intentions! I also think it’s important to not walk around just giving your opinions to others. If someone doesn’t ask for your opinion, they probably don’t need it. 😊

    From a self love content creator to another- Great topic! Love you your look in this video. ❤️

  3. Yes to all of it. There’s not one size fits all when it comes to self care. Such a great call out! And wine clubs allll day 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

  4. Last year I decided I wanted to focus my business towards self-care, since I make soaps and bath products. The very first thing I knew I wanted to do was to advocate for different versions of self-care for every single different person. So now I have a Facebook group where I attempt to make daily self-care check ins where group members can talk about their daily life and also support each other. It makes me really happy to see how it's changed the group dynamic

  5. Just poured myself a glass of red before seeing this video (it is 10pm in the UK, mind). Self care to me of late has been sitting out in my garden, watching the sunset with a hot drink or glass of wine, and listening to the birds and watching the bats fly over. Just taking 30 mins to an hour to do nothing, keep off my phone, take in the surroundings has done me the world of good. Plus a morning routine on my own terms as standard.

    Ps. I've also just been to Italy and enjoyed the best red wine I've ever had. Drinking wines that were made a mile from where we stayed just made it that much better.

  6. I recently started practicing meditation daily and I feel like it helps with my anxiety. However, I am aware that if I get too ritualistic about it, ie, I have to do it for a certain amount of time uninterrupted every day, it has to be done with a particular app, and it has to be done in a particular position , etc, it could end up fuelling my anxiety instead of relieving it. Sometimes, a meditation session could be just following a few breaths. My meditation app of choice, Headspace also includes guided walking meditations. So I could even walk to the local coffeeshop and meditate on my way there. Speaking of coffee, I think to take a break in the middle of the day and having a cup of that, or more rarely, black tea, and maybe a snack, is great self-care for me.

  7. This is awesome. I always feel such pressure to do all of the self-care things: get up early, exercise, meditate etc. You know all the stuff everyone says you are SUPPOSED to do and will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. However then I get saddled with self-care guilt when I’m not able to get it all done. And then self-care feels like work.
    So I love the message of this video and especially what you said about meditation! One size is never fit all and you have to find what works for you.
    Honestly my favourite kind of self-care is going into my room and belting out show tunes. Not everyone’s cup of tea but for me…it’s works wonders.

  8. Self-care for me is doing something I love. Be it reading a book, playing a game, or working out. Never fails to calm me down if I'm feeling anxious, restless or stressed out

  9. Self-care for me is cooking!! Fortunately I get to travel a decent amount for my job, and I honestly miss cooking when I’m gone for a week or so. It’s meditative and calming and also helps with the nutrition aspect (sometimes, haha).

    WINE IS ALSO A MUST and we have an old school paper tracker to rate all of our wines…. so the cellar you suggested was very tempting. AMY STOP HOLDING THE RED WINE GLASS BY THE BOWL THOUGH, YOURE BETTER THAN THAT! don’t ruin the beautiful Italian wine!!

  10. Self care for me is my meditation. I suffer with really bad nightmares and since I started sleep medication about a year ago, I have found that my nightmares are a lot less often. Maybe one a week, which is an amazing improvement.
    I also love doing word searches… I’m old before my time 😅

  11. Massage? SHUDDER 😂
    This is great advice and how I roll. You have to look after your health before anything because you just won’t be happy without feeling good physically.

    I had an argument at uni the other day when some of the younger girls were banging on about self-care but it was pretty clear they are just using it as a procrastination tool… oops.

  12. My self-care is to crochet. Some may think it's odd but it is a way to relax. I love your first book and look forward to the second one coming out. I enjoy these wine Wednesdays😃

  13. I was thinking about making a video series with wine 🍷 … cause I’m French.. 🇫🇷 … but when I see your videos Amy, I feel like it’s a good idea 😁😍

  14. Not to complain, 🤦 but you're not supposed to hold the wine glass by the bowl. 🍜 You're heating 🌡️ red wine with your hand. I called the wine police, 🚓 so expect them to stop by soon. 🍷

  15. Love self care!❤️ I do a spa day every Saturday, exercise as much as possible, and I love sitting down with a good book! This makes me happy and relieves my stress level!

  16. AHHWW I WAS so caught off Guard and excited when I seen your new video Alert! Whew Hewww! Though I did burn my popcorn to watch haha
    Good thing a girl can’t burn Wine 🍷 Cheers #SisterShine

  17. 3:43 "you should…" absolutely hilarious and true. We all have different lives, goals and routines, no need for self-care advice, which probably won't fit into our lives. It's great to share though. Loved the video and this new series. The wine looks decadent!

  18. Girl! I wish I could be your friend in real life. I love your video (like always). Keep being amazing!

    My self care: Walks with my dog, Sims 4, setting time aside just to listen and enjoy music

  19. Every morning I search the internet for quotes. Whatever speaks to my soul, some are inspiring, others are sassy, some are just downright dark. I write them in a little journal that I bring everywhere in my purse to read whenever I need a boost

  20. I indulge in a cup of coffee and a bite of something chocolate every evening. I make sure it’s after the dishes are done and the dog is properly attended to. It’s my reward for making it through another day at a job I hate.

  21. The overthinking while meditating – 💯💯💯. Also that wine looks amazing, maybe that’s what my meditation practice is missing? 🍷😂

  22. My go-to self care thing is bathing. With or without candles. With or without wine. Definitely with something that will make the bath smell heavenly. Possibly with Epsom salts. I do it nearly every evening and it's totally worth it to walk away from the TV or to close the book to take my bath; I can return to those things afterward.

  23. Fully support this interpretation that self-care doesn't have to = face mask and a bubble bath. Stop it. Another thing that ruffles my feathers is the commercialization of self-care, such that it's now a way for companies to sell you products (e.g. more face masks). Can't wait for your new book to come out, Amy! Congrats!

  24. I try to practice daily self-care for at least 30 minutes, but it’s different everyday. I may focus solely on my morning cup of coffee, grab my camera and go for a walk around my property capturing what inspires me, or a face mask. I guess it’s more of an intuitive approach, but it works for me!

  25. Going to the gym and manicures are part of my self care! I love me a good relaxing man/pedi. That’s one thing I won’t give up and that I do for myself 👍🏼

  26. At the current stage I’m in, my self care is as simple as the same skin routine every day and night to keep my face and skin looking their best. And given the level of “i suck” that I used to be with that, that’s a definite step forward! 😊

  27. I really love this video, Amy! People pushing their idea of self care is one of my pet peeves too! It's one of the topics I love talking about the most too, and absolutely is a huge part of creating the life that you love.

  28. When does your new book come out? I’m really enjoying reading right now (it’s self care 😄) and I’m looking forward to reading it. 💕

  29. Note to mothers of young children…..pooping by yourself is not self care, showering by yourself is not self care! You need more than that, right?

  30. Adore the idea of authenticity as self care 💕 for me, waking up before my household, walking to work & getting into the office before my colleagues. Quiet is bliss for me!

  31. Lao Tsu wrote about the meditation as 'practicing Dao':
    Practicing scholarships, everyday there is something to gain,

    Practicing the Dao, everyday there is something to lose;

    When you lose all that can be lost,

    You may be without action.

    Act not and leave none to be acted upon!

    Therefore those who can master the universe,

    Often remain unoccupied;

    Those who are preoccupied,

    Cannot master the universe.

    https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Translation:Tao_Te_Ching

    I'm just considering it talking to myself, to solve all the things i need to solve. But it can take form of art, writing, dialogues, or something.

  32. My self-care ritual is cooking for my dinner and next days lunch. Sounds like a chore, but cooking and getting those nutrients really is wellness to me.

  33. I like to file and paint my nails every few weeks. It allows me to solely focus on one task and afterwards I feel so accomplished and have a cute product! Additionally, practicing painting my nails on my own has let me get better so it doesn’t look so sloppy!

  34. i agree. Self-care isn't the same for everyone, but the main focus is that people should figure out what works for them and make the time for it. For me, writing in my journal and meditating work really well. 🙂 Love the videos!

  35. I am like 2 minutes into the video and had to post this right now because it’s so good, it’s distracting (in a good way) – your lip color! Would you mind telling which one it is? Thanks!

  36. Yes girl!! I always love your wine chats 😉 Totally agree about the "you do you" aspect of "self care"!!
    Self care is for our benefit so we have to do what's best for us and what makes us happy 😀 Love it!

  37. My self care is a green tea matcha facial 2 to 3 times a week and I do a French manicure on my nails once a week and then apply harder every day to keep them from chipping. And I also do a morning and night skin care routine I always wear sunscreen and always take off my makeup before bed. And I do more I love self care when I had little children at home the most I got to do was my skin care routine I have more time now to spend on me.

  38. My favorite form of self care is taking a warm bath while going on my phone and then watching YouTube videos and going to bed a little early

  39. Sometimes when i get really busy with my university studies and work, i like to just commit to myself an hour or 2 to build a house in the Sims 4, because it's fun, relaxing, and time that i can just focus on decorating a little house instead of worrying about always trying to get ahead, when i'm already plenty ahead

  40. Thank you for making this video Amy, this is a really important perspective that I think can be applied to most areas within the self-development world. I've learned that trying to tick all the boxes that are prescribed in books, YouTube videos etc. only makes me more stressed and depressed. On a similar note, I just finished reading Will Storr's book Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed which is about the historical background of our current age of self-improvement, and I think you might really enjoy it… Sometimes part of self-care is realizing that we don't have to reach those unrealistic success standards that we/society set for us. xo

  41. There's this nursery/garden here in town and it's amazing. Just a 10min or so drive there and you're no longer surrounded by glass, steel, and concrete. A 10-20min walk around this place really helps me slow things down and such. Very awesome to have nearby if you need to chill.

  42. I love this! Just today I was thinking how good it feels and how it important it is to know you are totally in control of doing/not doing something simply because you’re living life on your own terms. That’s true freedom. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

  43. Wine channel? yes!! For me, self care has always been a bath before bed. Now I have a hot tub in my back yard and enjoy that with a glass of 🍷 before bed.

  44. Hi Nice to see your Videos. you re just mazing. I wannt just say, if you have time in next days, can you read the Coran and tell us your experience about this book. cheers.

  45. LOVE this video, Amy! As a self-care and empowerment coach, you are getting right to the heart of the matter. Thank you for sharing your feelings on self-care. Yes, yes, yes! And…spa theme parks?!?! Sign. Me. Up!

  46. Great video!!! My self care is putting my phone down from 8pm to 8am, taking my dog on a walk, making sure I go to sleep in a made bed, and doing something that let's me space out like cross stitching or practicing the piano.

  47. You said it perfectly. I have my own mindfulness blog, and the things I never say is you must, should, need to, have to etc,. No one wants to feel belittled, or have their autonomy to think for themselves taken away. We are all different. Thanks for another inspirational, and insightful video.
    I usually meditate, exercise, eat healthy, do yoga, go on nature walks, read, journal, among many other things.

  48. Self care to me is setting boundaries. It's getting rid of toxic people and situations as best you can. It's setting up routines that make your day run more smoothly, and it's quitting procrastinating getting the things done that you have been avoiding that HAVE to be done. It's taking care of yourself spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. It might be going to a therapist, quitting that job or starting to take steps towards your dreams.

  49. I was taught that meditation is more like work, less like rest. Hear me out…
    It is an exercise in focus. It results in a clear mind, but the act of meditation is hard work for the first few months, if not years. The regimented practice is important, bc it is daily proof to your brain that you CAN focus on one thing (your breath.) If you train your brain to focus on that one thing, it will begin focusing on other "one things" all throughout your day. If you just do it at random times, on random days, you will have a much harder time teaching your brain how to be mindful. Mindfulness will improve anything it is added to, imho. 20 min, every morning, will pay off in dividends! ✌❤

  50. Kay girl.. i'm couch shopping and apparently i'm still doing that while watching your video… I have GOT to know where you got your couch and what color that is?!?!

  51. Curling up in bed with my cat and reading my book. If I don’t get my cat cuddles in for a few days I really miss it. And reading lets me turn my brain off because I get absorbed in the story.

  52. Reading. This is totally self care for me and also writing. Sometimes when I can’t figure out why I’m struggling with something but writing it out I am usually able to identify what’s stopping me.

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