Jelly Bar…shens Taste Test | Barshens

Jelly Bar…shens Taste Test | Barshens


Barshens! Welcome to Barry’s Bar… …shens. *forced laughter* See- we did the- Loo- Look! “Youtuber Bitter”! WE CERTAINLY ARE. We have so many drinks in Barry’s Bar-shens… uh, we serve jelly drinks. I’m.. really sorry to hear that, cause I don’t typicaly like jelly drinks. This is gonna be an interesting taste test with Stuart; I’ve made 5 exotic flavouring jellies. We’re gonna use this “amazing” jelly making machine… A: *loud exhale* B: …to enhance the flavours. Wh-wha-what sort of flavours are we talking about here? Umm, they’re quite typical, traditional, nostalgic. Umm, they’re a combination- Is there a “Steak kidney pie” or something? I’ve got, prob- yeah there’s a nice- there’s a base flavour of your traditional jellies. Alright? That’s; I’m gonna say that, we just enhanced it with maybe a little bit of a savory kick, you know? “Salt with Caramel”, the sweet, and savoury combined in…? We could be on so many flavours here! That is a face of excitement! *distress* Right, so I’ve got to guess what POSIONS you’ve mixed in with the jelly? yeh Okay… …hit me with your jelly stick. B: This is the first one. Oh god, it looks like a back end of a shotgun wound! It got beans in it? There’s a little bit of smell coming out like a waft? Wanna smell? Like that’s not- It just smells of jelly- is that strawberry je- is this strawberry or raspberry? Uh, this is actually blackcurrant base. *shock* Going flashy! My monsieur, you are spoiling us! So, what we’re gonna do; pop this thing out. B: And we’re gonna push- A It’s literally a plastic block. A: I’m expecting machinery. B: Okay, so, a little spoon for the jelly in there. A: Okay. B: Straight in there, like so. B: Yeah, we’d like to wind down, we should get… *HORRIFYING CRUNCHING NOISES* B: There we go! A: Wha-? B: That’s enough. That’s like a stool sample of jelly. Sadly, you missed most of the decent stuff, I think that’s why it made a bit of the crunching noise. Yeah, have a little taste of that. So this is one of these weird combinations straw-stroke-spoon, right? Yes. Right… All free of charge, at Barry’s Bar! *laughter* It tastes… …of blackcurrant jelly with grit in it. *disgusted groan* There’s like a weird aftertaste of something horrible! Umm… Does this taste of HUMAN? *laughter* Not a flavor [SUPRISE!] I’m particularly earned, or affined with! Oh, it’s horrible, it’s got like a weird, savoury aftertaste, which I cannot place at all- Savoury is the key word really. Okay… Go on then Barry, what on earth- I’ve got no idea what that is, even when looking at it! It’s a blackcurrant jelly. I’m trying to sell it here. With a beetroot base, it’s quite a nice sweet edge to it! And olives. AUUUGH!- It’s a bit of an olive I got, I think! Yeah. (x2) …And these little chunks there; that’s an olive right there. So, that is your first course done. Now we’ve got 4 more to go. JESUS CHRIST ‘Ello! ‘Ahm Barshens, Bearshens? Me? ‘Ello? I like jelly! Where are we?… …in a bar?! Talk to me!… A: Ohh, for gods’ sa- that just looks like ROT! AAAUUGH! B: I couldn’t do much about the segregation on this so visually, it doesn’t look “amazin’ ” A: Ohhh- Barry, what’s- it looks like something’s gone moldy in the fridge for 15 years, now you’re serving it to me! …And I made it yesterday, it’s fresh batch for you. …A fresh batch of what? Ahh… …That’s why you’re here! *laughter* It’s a nice flavour. It’s a nice flavour. It’s a nice flavour. [Yeah, looks like it.] I’ll give you a little bit of head… …And a little bit of the base. Jelly should NOT have a head. [is something wrong?] Okay. Oh my- Oh- God! Barry! Oh, I can smell that from here though. That should be pretty… That’s… I can’t pick it out yet. Nnno, that’s not, hmmm… I’m sure I’ll get hit with it in a minute. Okay. I look forward to- Here we go. Just wind this in… *SQUELCH* B: Ohh! B: That’s the moneyshot! Are you okay? Temporarily. Okay, so how does that look? I mean, obviously you’re gonna get a mixture of all the flavours by then- *LOUD RETCHING* WOW! The smell made me gag! That’s amazing! I like to call it “A Stench”. …more than a smell, but y’know. Ough- that’s actually made me wanna vomit. Just the smell. What is this Barry?! You are evil. Have a smell. Let it infuse the nostrills- Lemon jelly maybe? It’s not lemon. And it’s “citrus” Orange?… Yes, it is orange jelly. Ohh, whatever it is on the top, is mixing with it and really stinking! Look! Ohh yeah. Augh… *hhhnng* Right. Oh, you gonna go for the- yeah. That’s uh… I’m gonna go for a small amount, cause it may actually make me vomit. [Try and get] a combination of the head… …and the base. Okay. You okay? *disgusted moan* Is this horseradish or something? Yes it is! GOD- What goes well with horseradish? NOTHING! *evil laugh* Orange jelly! …But one another ingredient. Quite common- are you okay? Oh! Made my eyes water a bit, oh. I got a small amount, but obviously, not small enough! That’s disgusting. The other ingredient is gravy. Gravy, horseradish, and orange. You know, I could’ve dealt with the horseradish, it’s the gravy… Ohhh… It’s the segregation that’s done it, where, you know…? Yeah, yeah, obviously, that would be it Barry, yeah- ohhh. I think you’re gonna like what’s coming up next. This is a mild start. i h8 u *laughter* I hate you so much… I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly! [A: OH FOR WHA-] Did you just find that out of a pond?! *laughter* This is a lovely one! I think you’re gonna seriously like this if you like savoury stuff. *confused stuttering* WHAT? And then there’s this bloody frogspawn in that! Let’s just drink it. You’ll be alright. I mean, I’d say less; I’m being generous in letting you have it. Yeah, cheers… So, what, is this lime jelly? B: It is lime jelly! Yeah. A: With… With added… It just seems like you’ve put a little herbs into it or stuffing, or something! B: It’s a bit, it doesn’t wanna go in. A: I don’t want it to go in me! Crikey! Oh, it’s got hairs or something in it! What!? B: Oh, that might be of my dog’s; sorry. Oh, that’s alright, A: It wasn’t THAT smart. [B: You know it wasn’t me!] “Essence of Pug” *pained laughter* A: Well, go on then. B: You ready? A: Go for it. B: Do you want to wind it down? A: Oh, I’d love nothing more, Barry. *squeeze* B: Ohhh… A: All we’re doing is messing up this machine! With this… it looks like baby’s diarrhoea! It’s quite fragrant. Have you ran out of spoons? You can always use the one I served up in. This is literally stuffing I think, from the smell. Stuffing in lime jelly. The lime is right. Hence, the green color. Is it all green?… It’s nutritious. “AH DON WANNIT BAWWY” “Mutther! I don want me dessert mutther!” There’s gonna be diet plans with this, there’s gonna be like It’s gonna be something. How is that for you? Absolutely. Vomit inducing-nauseating. I am using all my control to not be sick. B: Yeah? That’s not… Is, is it a thing in the jelly? Yep, for a good reason. B: A lovely dish right there. Do you now have any idea what it is? Wow, I did not know I could control those parts of my body, that’s quite amazing. That’s gotta be some sort of stuffing or something along those, or-or just… B: It’s herby. A: It’s very herby, yes. B: Yes, it’s extremely herby. A: Is it “Herby goes Bananas?” [B: It is!] “Herby goes lime?” *laughter* It’s lime, Yeah… with mint, Oh! and pesto! The pesto; you know, I couldn’t really pick up the mint, but the pesto; yeah. Yeah, very strong basil flavor. You know, I could’ve got that from the look of it. That was absolutely disgusting, Yeah? and I’ll pray nightly to all gods that they’ll come down from on high and smash your knees with magic hammers. *laughter* You want 2 more? That’s exciting! TWO MORE?! This one deserves a special glass Mister Stuart? You’re gonna love this one. Take a look at this. A: James Bo-OOOUgh, for- the love of peas! it looks like an omelette that has been fried! B: Smells like a dead animal from here! A: It DOES smell like an dead animal from here! B: I’m loving this sort of “neon” color of it. This might give you a clue as to what flavor it is. So, we’re gonna go straight in… Barry, I give you nice quizzes about funny pictures… B: That needs something, needs a little, uh pink or red? Any preference? I’ll add both, ready? A: Preference where this should be shoved? B: Oookayy… This is piccalilli or something and… Have at that! It’ll mean something right there! (?) So, um… B: I’m just gonna check what it is, I don’t remember making that one. Okay. *awkward laughter* Did someone just plant it in your bag? Some guy on the tube just went “Take this” So, is it lemon jelly or something? It is a lemon jelly! That’s gotta be piccalilli or something. Oh, it just- it just has that faint smell of a dead animal. …And it was not a nice animal when it was alive. You okay? I’m really REALLY nauseous from the last two. So, I’ve got more jelly to wash it down after. yeh im gonna guess a piccalilli Well, yeah! Kinda. *retching* “Ooh! Lemme taste that now!”. Gonna need some- you okay? *groan* *death rattle* I shall survive. In the fashion. What the hell was that? That was a pineapple base, A pineapple base? Oh, interesting. …with English mustard, …and chopped up pickled onions. *laughter* It’s KIND of piccalilli. Yeah! And it was a kind of like a piccalilli jelly! Thanks for that Barry. I’m gonna run you over. In a big car! B: I’m gonna go all out here. This deserves a “Skull and Crossbones” this one, okay? I’ll put it in before… A: Oh, good. B: …we set up. Okay. That’s, the… A: Oh, WHAT?! B: Looks like a rash, doesn’t it? A: *distressed gibberish* B: You just want to itch it! People with Tryptophobia are gonna be like “oh gawd” Actually I think, that smell… …if you came by the smell, I think you’re gonna like it. Can I borrow the other spoon? Is it been sterilized? It needs to be. Okay, this has got the combination of all the flavors on there, you’re a very lucky chap. So, we’re just gonna spoon it on- I’m trying to get as much as I… A: Is that asparagus or something? B: Is not. [theresonlyonewaytofindout] I thought you’re gonna try it. Think of it as a watermelon flavor. “Think of it as a watermelon”- oh the gherkins. They’re little bits of pickled gherkin of some type. They are. They are “cournicons”; small gherkins that you get in a jar, they were previously in vinegar. For a nice sort of sweet-tangy edge. Oh, tremendous! And they were in vinegar? Yeah. And now they’re in the… …raspberry / strawberry jelly? Yeah, it’s strawberry jelly. Tremendous, and what sort of gastric trouble can I expect from having pickle and jelly together? Probably a healing time of what, six weeks. TREMENDOUS that, sounds- I’m gonna get a little bit cause I don’t really want to die?… Yeah. And it’s- I just call it “The Engine Flush” you know, you, uh, you feel it in the morning!… It’s the “Barry Cleanse” You’re not really selling my body, Stuart. You okay? *pained coughing* *laughter and pained coughing* You know, the pickle- it’s not as bad as some of them; you know it’s alright, cause you only get the pickle at first, and suddenly… the citrus… A little kick in there, right? …sweetness hits and… …it tastes like it’s gone off, and it sets off all the alarms in your head. They could be gone off actually, that jar’s been in my fridge up for years… umm… This is sirracha hot sauce in there. Just for a nice little kick. You know, that’s- that’s- That’s not much heat from it! No, uh, um, that’s the end! I mean, there’s a bit of heat, but I thought it was just the pickles. Yeah? Yeah, so basicly… tomato… …pickle and, what jelly was it again? Uh, strawberry. Strawberry. Yeah. Tremendous. Sirracha does have a kick; I did, I unleash a lot of- hell; I unleased hell with that sirracha bottle there! *Gibberish* Yeah. Which was your favorite? None of them, obviously. *laughter* This is kinda like, a career end for me, of this bar. I have to close up! What a tragedy that would be to the world. Alright, I’m off to cleanse my palate with some DIRT. Okay. Well that’s it! Uh, if gonna get to use this set again, maybe Stuart can make some unusual cocktails for me. THE SET IS BEING BURNED. SUBSCRIBE. OR. DIEE. Guise? Guys? bollucks

100 thoughts on “Jelly Bar…shens Taste Test | Barshens

  1. I was expecting a dried out ground up Lizard Jelly but none the less these are just as horribly wonderful.

  2. Loved this to bits.
    Just to say, at 10:25 it's supposed to be pronounced 'corneeSHon'. By the way, it's spelled 'cornichon' (singular form) for anyone interested. 😉

  3. love it, expect for the sock puppet bit. it's not funny it just takes away from the rest of the episode.

  4. The neon style of writing in the intro makes Barry's last name look like it's written as "Pelvis" lol

  5. I'm just hoping Stuart just goes and cooks a bunch of poundland "specials" together and feeds them to Barry.

  6. "I will pray nightly to all gods that they come down from on high and smash your knees with magical hammers." I know people don't like when you copy a phrase from the video into the comments, but that… I need to bring special attention to that XD

  7. We ran a weekend horror LARP a few weeks ago which featured a crime scene featuring bits of dead bodies left over from a magical explosion. I was in charge of the gore making. These jellies remind me of the 'bits' I made (also out of jelly with extra gelatine) and the vomit I made…….. just wow.

  8. How in the hell did a baker and a man who plays with broken toys get a YouTube partnership? (I'm assumptioning)

  9. I would love to see these two go on good mythical morning on a will it episode! I think Ashens would do surprisingly well.

  10. Can we trademark 'The Barry Cleanse'? Barry needs to manufacture this to help older citizens keep regular…

  11. Simply one of the funniest things I've seen for years. I love how the jelly goes 'Slat!' into the glass from that toy machine. And Stuart's "I'm going to run you over with a big car." Comedy gold right there.

  12. Wow I doubt most people would've been able to make it past the 2nd one. I was genuinely nauseous by the third one. I cant even imagine actually tasting them. How about a sequel but this time its Barry's turn to taste the jellies. You could even call it Stuart's Revenge.

  13. I kind of miss the days of just Barry and Ashens, before their weird hairy uncle and his testy boyfriend were a central part of every episode. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Eli, but I also enjoy the Harlem Globetrotters, I still wouldn't want them on every episode of Scooby Doo. God I'm ancient.

  14. why is watching ashens eat disgusting things so funny? i'm crying with laughter here and i don't know why XD is this what going to barry's for dinner is like? he looks so pleased with himself and almost disappointed when ashens doesn't like it!

  15. I couldn't stop laughing at Barry's seriously concerned look at 9:06 . He's actually worried that he killed his friend.

  16. What was that Canadian show? Spenny & Kenny? Where the two guys just did gross or painful stuff to each other… this will be that sooner or later

  17. 1:28 I could legitimately smell that. I think my sleep-deprived brain associated the colour and texture of the jelly with a random smell it deemed logical. Maybe a sign I need proper sleep.

  18. Comign back to this 2 years later I heard the segue music and thought "Well that was a quick episode"

  19. That's the same place where Tom Scott made a video about all American alcohol having to be radioactive to be legal a few years ago.

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