It’s 2019 And guess who’s back! (I wonder who) JP:We are about to spend THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars ON MYSTERY BOXES. Ya boi, Jake Paul. I gotta tell you, I was looking over his channel, and his views have dipped a lot. And, you know, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that a million views is not a lot. But he’s got videos with under a million views, and that’s- last year he was pushing like 5, 6, 7, 8 Million per video. So I’m not surprised to see that he has become a little bit more desperate for money Which is the only way to really explain his newest video Which is called “I SPENT $5,000 ON A MYSTERY BOX & You WON’T Believe WHAT I GOT… ” *Ethan goes Sicko Mode* insane!” *cool transition* Jake “Buy My Merch” Paul: “So uh, basically, there’s this thing on the Internet called mystery boxes” Jake “Pls Buy It” Paul: “You buy them, you don’t know what’s gonna be in them.” Jake “Everyday Bro” Paul: “They come to your house, you open it up and it’s a MYSTERY.” JP: “You could get a pile of *censor word*
or you could get a Rolls Royce. So MysteryBrand is a website where you purchase different boxes with chances of winning things. *intake of oxygen* Take, for example, this “Women’s Christmas” box. It costs $15.00 to open (wtf, that’s an amazing deal) and you can win anywhere from “ThE mOsT eXpEnSiVe Los Angeles Realty” *visible confusion What does that even mean? (no one knows, Ethan) Realty? You can’t even click it. ‘Kay? Doesn’t even give you more information but apparently It’s worth 250 MILLION DOLLARS I love that you can’t click it like There just like “trust us, there’s a 250 million dollar house with your name on it.” (no scam) Imagine winning a 250 million dollar house a, as like, an 8 year old And then you owe 2.5 million dollars a year in PROPERTY TAX to the government All the down tooooooo icicle. site balance *visible disbelief* *inhale* I have no idea what the “site balance” is but I’m willing to bet that this is probably what 99% of what the people are getting That is a very nice JPEG (yes it is) I wonder if they just print out a picture of an icicle and mail that to you. That would be exciting. or you wou-might be as so lucky as to win a Ginger Man – site Balance. *Disappointment* Did they not complete this, like, what is with the “site balance”? They have boxes that go as high as $250! a Luis Vitton Supreme jacket all the way down to Nutella Chocolate print hoodie Wow (visual disgust) I’d rather get a frickin icicle – site balance to be frank with you Well, I don’t think I need to look much deeper into this to know that it’s a very strange, overseas scam The website is practically not even written in English What, what more do you need to know They’re saying the grand prize is a 250 million dollar house JP: and today. Jake Paulers or Paul Jakers we are going to be doing our own mystery box uhm thingy magigy “Can we do that” JP: SICK! I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE Cup of coffee? Is that what we’re calling it? I don’t remember Jake being this nuts JP: I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE I don’t think that guy drank coffee this morning, ya know what i’m saying? There’s some other energy coursing through this guys blood right now, i’m sure of it JP: COFFEE JP: Lemme explain, it’s been 5 minutes now Jake get to the point Basically we partnered with this brand uhh called MysteryBrand.net JP: So basically we partnered with them because they’re like the best and have like the dopest site and they have all of the dopest products and stuff like that (Sarcasm) The coolest, dopest brand. We’re partnered up with them, they’re so cool, so amazing God, i just drunk a bunch of coffee WOOOOOOOO Alright, let’s finish this video up, ’cause I gotta get somewhere and uhh I’m getting low on coffee, so let’s wrap this up Hold on one second guys EUGHHHHHH Sorry my sinuses are all clogged up for some reason JP: Like on their site you could literally win like a Rolls Royce, you could win a bunch of Supreme stuff, you can win iPhones, iPads. (Orgasms) All sorts of goods JP: and we partnered with them because today I am going to spend thousands of dollars on mystery boxes and see what I get. I feel like I’m watching a man deteriorate into insanity. *Deep sigh* I mean this is bananas, is he feeding an addiction right now? Cause you wouldn’t willfully advertise this to your kids for 14 minutes unless you really, really needed that money. JP: Yeah if you like surprises as much as I do and you like mystery boxes, stay tuned, here we go JP: Okay, here we go guys. When did he start editing his videos like a shitty version of America’s Funniest Home
Videos Is this all it takes? To make content? Is this all it takes to make content for kids on YouTube? I mean this- is this funny? *Snorts* HEEEEUGHH JP: I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE JP: Okay so basically there’s a bunch of boxes on the site and you can like open them virtually JP: They have all different types of stuff; Hypebeast, girls, gamers, clothing, a Christmas box. (Highpitch) Christmas JP: Popular boxes, Apple boxes, Megatech, all sorts of stuff JP: What’re we feeling? What should we go for first? Some shoes? Should we try and win some shoes? Start, start small, go for the car. Alright so I’m going for the box called “Hype Shoes.” Uhh that one probably has the dopest shoes in there JP: I’m a Hypebeast, what can I say? JP: Honey, yes (I think) JP: I might be able to win the Nike AIRMAG back to the futures, Yeezy’s, Off White (Slightly slurred) JP: Oh my gaw! So what you should know about these kinda sponsored videos is that he’s doing exactly what they instructed him Obviously Jake Paul doesn’t need shoes, he’s a multi, multi millionaire He’s got all the shoes he wants, he would just buy them outright, so, what they’re telling him to do is like: play the shoes, that’s a popular one that a lot of your kids who watch your show will wanna play So, he’s on here pretending that he cares about shoes and he’ll go on to pretend that he cares about winning an iPhone JP: Apple boi box, I feel like I could win an iPhone in that, I’m a go for the iPhone right now I mean, Jake Paul’s got probably 20 iPhones. What does he care about it? If you go online to a casino website, you’re gonna find the same thing, it’s got this very addictive instant gratification It’s got this very addictive instant gratification. So one, if you do win the nice Yeezy’s, I suspect they’re probably gonna send you fakes from China, and two, most likely. you’re just gonna be winning a bunch of crap anyway, and good luck even collecting any of this. but that’s even besides the point because you’re talking about 8 year olds, spending $100 to open a virtual crate for the chance of winning Yeezy’s or a 250 million dollar house I mean, you have to be 8 years old to believe that that’s real. JP: Try again, here we go. Show meee the money, Apple airpods. I’ll keep that, I’ll keep those, yup. ♪ I will never stop ’till I get the iPhone ♪ ♪ I ain’t never gonna stop gambling ’till I get the jackpot ♪ ♪ Or until I have to sell my house and my cars ♪ ♪ Or until I have to steal my mom’s credit card ♪ ♪ I’m gonna get that iPhone even though I could just buy it for 1000$ ♪ * clap * ♪ I’m gonna spend 7000$ to get a fake iPhone from China ♪ OOOOHHHHH JP: (Can’t say silicon) Silicoone, silicone shockproof case? Silicoone? JP: Silicoone? Should we be concerned that Jake doesn’t know what Silicon is? JP: This box is $15 a time to try, but you can potentially win like iPads and iPhones and stuff so, this is like a good value one I feel like cause it’s like 15 and then you can get like iPhones, so it’s like, that’s dope Wow that is a really good value, we call that in the gambling world; Hedging your bets. (Sarcasm) I recommend all you kids cause $15, low entry price ya know? Everyone’s got 15 bucks, it was Christmas Come on, I know nana gave you $100, put it on the website, you got $15 JP: Let’s play the Hype Shoes one more time and see what we get JP: and when you sell a shoe back you only, you get a percentage, of what you got for it originally. So you don’t get the full value back uhmm but yeah it helps you like customise like what you actually wanna wear JP: This is fun man, I’m gonna mystery box more often (Sarcasm) This is fun man, I’m getting a crazy adrenaline rush YEEES (Sarcasm) Not like gambling at all, that’s not why people get addicted to gambling for the rush of it (Sarcasm) The perfect activity for an 8 year old JP: 5% chance – Apple watch 95% chance. Box price, this one’s a, one thousand, one hundred and thirty eight dollars (1138) JP: I’m gonna confirm and submit it. Hopefully I win the iMac JP: Please Jesus JP: I’m actually nervous ’cause I could actually win this right, like I can JP Cameraman: No don’t question it bro, you already won some good prizes JP: They’re gonna actually mail this to me, oh my god okay Why’re you so surprised by that Jake? You of all people should be convinced that they are actually gonna mail you stuff You should let me be skeptical of this. If you’re already skeptical in your video , I have no faith left in this website (Sarcasm) They’re gonna mail me this stuff right? JP: Cereal box, opening for £1138 and 43 cents JP Cameraman: Apple Watch JP: Ayyyy, okay I wanted the iMac JP: Alright I’ll take the Apple watch, I’ll take, I’ll take the Apple watch, that’s dope Ohohohohohooo a thousand, one hundred dollars for an Apple Watch JP: Alright I’ll take the Apple watch, I’ll take, I’ll take the Apple watch, that’s dope JP: That’s dope JP: That’s dope JP: That’s dope JP: That’s dope JP: That’s dope JP: I DRANK SO MUCH COFFEE At this point, I think it’s worth mentioning that RiceGum, on the same exact day, made pretty much the same exact video, the same format, the same everything His video was just so boring that there was really nothing more to show other than these clips Although RiceGum’s take is even a little bit more spicy than Jake’s as he continues to insinuate throughout the video that this is a legitimate way to make money as well RiceGum: No losing in this cause even if you get an item that you don’t like you just sell it back, here we go RiceGum: Hey guys, so I sold it back for like a $1000, which is so weird cause I bought a $100 box, but I got $1000 shoe out of it, so I got some profit RiceGum: Yo, you can sell it back for like $2000 and buy even more boxes bro RiceGum: I bought $160, I can sell this back for $600 and make profit RiceGum: Ima do it, I’m making profit RiceGum: I spent $4 for this. Yo, I just finessed the website. $4 airpods, you guys can see my balance right here. I started with like half of this RiceGum: I just started opening stuff, got some cool stuff and then I like, sold back so I made back some of the money RiceGum: I’m up right now though so like I’ve been having good luck on this site RiceGum: Bro that’s a $10,000 handbag, I’m bout to sell this, yo $10,000 Also something wonderful about RiceGum’s video is that it was trending. Yes. Youtube selected this, of all videos, to trend on this day. I think YouTube should be extremely concerned about how they trend videos, and the fact that this one can slip through the filters and be promoted by YouTube, is pretty amazing considering how they are careful with channels, like ours, not to trend. Anyway, back to Jake. JP: Kinda wanna see what you guys as fans, I want you guys to go to MysteryBrand.net right now and play this game and tell me and tweet me or something if you guys win this okay? JP: Cause, like, I want someone to win something amazing He wants you guys to all play and win something amazing By the way, the comments. “Jake, I tried this website and I completely got scammed out of a large amount of money. I am very upset to see you be sponsored by a company that scams people out of money” (Sarcasm) Well just sounds like she’s just a sore loser Oh, but, Hamza Mowlid, who looks like he’s 8, says “Yes Jake, I win Macbook Air” (Sarcasm) Well there you go, I mean this is like legit you guys. I mean doesn’t, you really don’t get better, more legit feedback than that JP: That is it guys, the items are on the way. Lets wait JP: OHHHHHHH snap * shitty sound fx* JP: The goods are here. Oh we have to be quiet we’re in a hotel room, shhhh JP: No way is this real right now, are you seeing this Ari? JP Cameraman: I’m seeing it, and there’s one right here JP: I, like, bro, they’re actually here JP Cameraman: I know JP: The stuff is here JP Cameraman: Can you believe it? JP: This is the best part of the whole entire thing, is the unboxing, it’s like Christmas all over again JP: It’s like Christmas all over again, look at all this amazing stuff JP: Go to MysteryBrand.net if you WANT to win some mystery boxes. This video was so much fun, thank you so much for watching, I love you guys and I will see you tomorrow ITS EVERYDAY BRO PEACE Dude just spent $10,000 and he’s making it look like he came up in This has got to be one of the worst things I’ve seen on YouTube, simply because his fans are so young and so impressionable that I mean there’s a reason you have to be 21 years old to gamble because you need to know what you’re doing, it’s dangerous, it’s addicting, it’s a vice right, it’s a real vice Many lives have been ruined due to gambling addiction and so when you introduce something like this that is quite literally gambling to an 8 to 12 year old, especially on YouTube where you’re supposed to be a reputable site and this is supposed to be a family friendly channel, man this is bananas Parents have gotta see this Well guys, it may be 2019 but some things never change So I’ve got some coffee brewing AHHHHHH I’VE GOT SOME COFFEE BREWING I’M FEELING SUPER ENERGETIC I’VE GOT A SPONSOR ON THE LINE WHO SAYS THAT IF I CAN GET ANYONE TO DONATE THEIR SPLEEN THEY’RE GONNA PAY ME $100,000 PER SPLEEN, AND I’VE FOT A REALLY BAD COFFEE ADDICTION IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN SO GUYS GO TO THE LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION TO DONATE YOUR SPLEEN *Outro plays* Click on one of the videos up on screen to continute to support H3H3Productions, Thank you for watching.