100 thoughts on “INTJ vs INFJ: Telling the Difference

  1. Explaining the differences between the introverted and extroverted reactions between INTJ and INFJ helped me realize why I'm so confused with certain things I do. I was raised by what seems to be an INFJ mom (she never took the test, but how Frank explains it, she probably was.)
    I am an INTJ, but have some FJ characteristics (I.E. wonder what others feel about my ideas, and if they don't like it, I don't go through with it). Now I know why I react certain ways, when my mind tells me otherwise. Thanks Frank

  2. Amazing. I am right on the cusp of INFJ/INTJ, and I have never heard or read such a clear and relatable difference between the two until your video. Thank you! ❤️

  3. I have an INTJ son who is 22 and an INFJ son who is 9. (With a 16 year old ISTJ thrown in the middle.) Those two are so alike it’s crazy, but the thing that was always different (before I understood cognitive functions) was the thinking/feeling. I think the unconscious has so much to do with it as well. I see it in the trickster—where my INTJ has no idea how people are feeling. He’s learned to ask. And my INFJ is unaware of how people are thinking. He’s 9 so he’s super unaware!! And it’s kind of funny. Like, he has no issue with wearing pink or having to put on his sisters’ shoes or whatever. He has no idea that that is not a social norm. My INTJ also fails in the social norm area when it comes to appropriately distinguishing feelings. Two oddballs that I love dearly!!

  4. I like what you said about what extroverts and introverts do in a crowd situation. How they try to bend things differently…Thanks FJ.

  5. i am 65 yrs old and feel intj and infj are in conflict within me. would appreciate a way to talk with some one. intj seems dominate but at times infj seems to create deep conflicts.

  6. I'm am a INTJ and my boyfriend is a INFJ. We work great together. We've been together for nearly ten years 😊

  7. hmm… I wonder if core personalities like this can change. I remember when I was a younger, I really don't care too much about what other people think, I just say/do whatever I want. But when I reached adulthood, I became more sensitive and became too concern about what other people are feeling to the point that I can actually feel their joy or sadness residing in my heart.

  8. My sister is INTJ and has ODD, which is a terrible, terrible combo, lol. She refuses to accept that she is ever wrong (though sometimes she does), will argue the sky is purple if you tell her it's blue, takes offense to about damn near everything, doesn't care if your feelings get hurts and says things that she knows will hurt you to the core. I on the other hand am INFJ and just want everyone to get along. If I see a conversation is getting heated, I will step out and never insult someone or put them down. She has gotten better over the years, thank goodness, but when we were young it was really hard. She is still my sister though and I care for her a lot, we get along pretty good considering.

  9. I am an INFJ, but I really don't give a fuck about validating my feelings with others, nor do I really give a fuck about what others feel. However, I'm painfully aware of how others feel. Too aware. I can tell what people are feeling without even trying to. Like I can read the energy they give off and it affects me whether I want it to or not. I absorb people's "feeling energies" like a chameleon and I become like them. In my experience, it's similar to how you describe but not quite as verbal or in the traditional extroverted sense. Like you said, the extroverted functions make you malleable; or subject to the influence of others. Your brain will automatically seek harmony in that function whether you want to or not, and even without words. It's a matter of how the brain is wired and how it senses things. Whereas the introverted function is independent and seeks less or no harmony. It's very similar to how you described but somehow different in its true application. This is just my experience.

  10. Intj here, I learned something new today, I always disliked people and conversation who kept bring feelings up, now I know why.
    I always thought discussion of feelings were just filler for people who don’t understand concepts, or aren’t on the same wavelength.

  11. Im not sure about myself anymore. Some days I feel like an INFJ, some days I am INTJ. Even taking the quiz (not on the same days) gives me any of those results, but mostly gives me INFJ. I am not sure about mahself anymore. 😂 help?

  12. @Frank James I'm glad this video popped up in youtube home screen. I have really been going back and forth with being an Intj and Infj personality after taking 3 personaliy tests from three different websites.

  13. i must be between these 2 because i know there’s the controller Truth of this world.. and deep conspiracy is true.. well but i’m an InFJ no matter what kinds of tests i run through.. well
    p/s: after watching your vid i’m more 100% sure i’m infj

  14. imagine an intj and infj working in the same position but with NEPOTISM. guess who got fired? ME. also, a person who threw a fit about an acai bowl. i've never met an introvert who would throw a fit over an acai bowl or anything else for that matter … unless you touch our person. whooooo boy she said DO YOUR JOB and then someone offered her her OWN acai bowl and she was like … no, i don't want it. calm down weirdo. entitlement like i've never seen. she was in a damn spa that she didn't even have to pay for.

  15. and you make a good point, as an INTJ i told the INFJ: look, if i'm telling you, in a normal voice, that you are being dismissive of me i'd appreciate it if you'd listen to me. she once LOUDLY rolled her eyes on me and went over to bitch to me to a coworker, another different story, but damn. how about don't roll your eyes to me IN FRONT OF MY FACE. i will not take that well and i will not NOT comment on it …

  16. and i was the bad guy because i didn't want someone YELLING OVER ME as an intj and i preferred not to have a person sit on my lap AS A WOMAN while i'm on the phone. yeah.

  17. How would describe the difference between Ne and Te Secondary functions in the realm of receiving validation from others? Notably I want to know the difference between INTP and INTJ. Would you describe it as gaining validation for your Ideas vs. The way in which think? Please elaborate on this for me if you may. INTJ here who also tests INTP and INFJ at times. Best, Jace

  18. I am a female INFJ, my partner is a male INTJ, it's ironic, as when I speak I say " I feel that…." my partner will say " I think that…" it frustrates the hell out of me that he won't talk about what he feels and only speaks of what he thinks, other than this we are very similar people. In astrology he is Scorpio don't know his rising or moon signs, but I am Virgo sun sign, with Scorpio rising and moon sign this also seems to play a part in our similarities which can also be frustrating 😅 what I'd like to know is I am aware that I naturally mirror other people, as an INFJ, and most people who do not know me well assumes I am an Extrovert 😉 but that side of me is used to get by in a world where being an Introvert is not beneficial, but do INTJ's also have the ability to mirror? Because I'm trying to work out if this guy is just projecting to be similar to me or whether he actually is. 🤔

  19. Enfp here.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ half way through the video I was thinking about tacos. 😩🤦🏻‍♀️ And then realized that I am the stereotype 😒

  20. Makes a lot of sense. I always thought I had too many feelings to be an INTJ. But I don't feel that need to talk about and analyze them with others, as I do about my ideas.

  21. I'm an INTJ and I cry every time I hear the theme music to The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. Also that scene at the end of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the kids go running back to the village and their parents run out to meet them and they all crash into each other like a tidal wave of squee.
    3:40 I don't like to feel like I'm prying into other people. I'd rather let them open to me as they so desire. Otherwise it feels like I'm forcing my will upon them. I may be a control freak, but I'm not that kind of control freak. Less Nurse Ratched, more Sheldon Cooper (but with some Leonard mixed in for balance).
    6:56 I love engaging my Se! Especially with food. Which is probably why I have this gut. -_-;
    7:18 Do you think "turbulent" types are the way we are because we use our third function more than our second? In the case of us INTJs, that would explain the Ni-Fi loop (which is a very right-brain experience). That's probably the realm where Stephen King gets a lot of his inspirado.

  22. I've tested INTJ for years, and this was the first time it came back INFJ, but the F was 51%, and the T was 49%. Is that result common?

  23. Best explanation ever of determining your type if you are an INFJ or INTJ. I have NI dominant and I have tried taking all cognitive tests and with no doubt I have NI as my 1st function. I notice that I am always on top of everything without any logical explanation. Just this day, all of a sudden something struck me to bring a sweater even if it is sunny, awestruck, we went to a conventional hall with almost 10° celcius temperature in the room.
    I just do not know where I belong though. All I know is I always need reasons to do something and I hate it when I lose from argument which reasons out that the bosses say so but I always rebel and plot a scheme to avenge, though with tough exterior is a soft cushy interior.

  24. I'm an INTJ and I feel very deeply, but I only blow once for a pile of emotions, which annoys and confuses people. Ironically, people call me sensitive, but insensitive to others simultaneously, Fi is really a function with depth and much emotional intelligence, but truth to be told, it only cares about the feelings you can relate yourself with. We really need to learn that we can make others understand what we feel, and the process is reciprocal.

    But my thoughts, I have a compelling need to speak my mind. And see through the minds of the crowd. I mean, nothing is satisfying (or appalling) as much as an intellectual domination (depends on which way it goes).

  25. All your videos are 💯 100% accurate and on point!!! It's like you read my mind… We do that great don't we!

  26. I’m not sure which one I a, because every time I do it I’m pretty equal between thinking and feeling so I get a different answer each time.

  27. I think-feel I'm straddling both these two. I'm also born on the cusp of Libra-Scorpio. Somewhere here lies my curse-blessing mishegoss.

  28. I have a crush with a intj. I am infj. she is too hard to get and now she's has gained weight. Help me you random intj!

  29. Is there a difference? Because most times I get the INTJ and I remember I got the INFJ twice. I've been taking the MBTI more than 5 times.

  30. When I first got into typology, I thought I was an INFJ. I tested about 50/50 in the T/F functions, but I'm also clairsentient (ie I can tell how EVERYONE is feeling). I realize after studying more and listening to your videos, what defines me as an INTJ is my preference for keeping my emotions to myself and being more open about abstract thoughts and truth seeking. I avoid vocalizing my feelings by using sarcasm instead. At parties- I'd much rather talk about ideas or engage in wordplay than see how everyone's feeling. In the face of conflict, chaos, etc….. I revert to logic and 'what's rational' to offset emotional intensity and to keep the cool (ie there can only be one person losing their shit to avoid sudden death and I try to make sure that person losing their shit isn't ME buahahaha). There are only a few close friends that get any access to my emotional life as I haven't experienced most humans having the emotional maturity to hold space for others in a way that provides comfort or resolution. Maybe we are more sensitive than we let on. I do care with a slightly masculine bent (although I am female), ie I am solution oriented in how to fix things.. So I am an acupuncturist for a living who has occasionally been seen moon-lighting on social media throwing a wrench in the vaccine rhetoric, the Transhumanist agenda, or the dangers of EMF/RF, as I deliver this mini YouTube encyclopenis of an answer from a wired-in cable modem to avoid frying my genieass INTJ brain and also make an example of the arrogant INTJ shadow, because frankly, Frank- we KNOW we're smarter than the average bear, and depending on how stupid people are influences whether we're Care Bears of Fuck You Bears.

  31. Interesting, considering my nephew has, selective mutism,, I still think it is weird that you don't or say or make a small sketch on INFP's…

  32. Firstly, thank you for discerning us from INFJ's. That was a perfect explanation.

    Secondly, I had a little chuckle that your initials are FJ. Please tell me that, when you decided upon your channel name, that that was on purpose LOL

  33. I really appreciate how clearly you understand this…and I thank you for all the hours of study/meditation you have surely invested to get to this level of mastery. Thank you for sharing the information too. You're doing good work.

  34. im an INFJ. none of my friend ever saw me crying or angry. i never showed my feelings to anyone. not even my close one. My bestfriend did told me that she never saw me crying or angry:') most of the people that know me said that i had no feeling.. eventhough they are closed to me

  35. I was INTJ but I am INFJ now xD. Though they are so similar that the transition was smooth and I still have many of the same thoughts I had as an INTJ…such as the inferior way others manage life. I think as an INTJ becomes more socially mature they become INFJ…and a part of that maturing is understanding that sometimes you just got to accept that most people are stupid. That is literally the only way an INTJ can be social, because believe me I know every time I as an INTJ would attempt to socialize I would have both the acknowledgment that I was socially awkward and that I was trying to communicate with simple-minded idiots…. in a strange sense you get both an ego-boost and low self-esteem at the same time…which can lead to thinking that you are just not meant to talk with people and are just meant to have big thoughts. When becoming an INFJ I was realizing that inside everyone is relatable more than they are not..through studying self and others from outside the box I learned that I was not that awkward at all unless I let myself be by dwelling on the risk of being awkward. Don't get me wrong I still think that I am way above the average joe in intelligence…. its just that now I feel that way to 😛

  36. IN?J here. I thought I was an INTJ all through college. But because I can't control my emotions (I can burst into tears in public if something triggers me and not be able to stop no matter what I try to do), I started questioning whether I am perhaps an INFJ. I also seem to have a strong EQ and IQ (not genius level for either though). F and T seem very balanced for me.

    This video has helped me a lot. I realised (after watching this video) that I often say "what are your thoughts?" After explaining an idea to another person, indicating Te.

    I also realised that while I sense other people's emotions/feelings, I don't really care about them unless the person is on my inner circle (husband, kids, best friend). Or unless the emotion is directed towards me and makes my Ni tingle uncontrollably.

    This video clearly leans me toward INTJ again, although I don't fit all the typical stereotypes of an INTJ. I studied programming, but love management games, budgeting, finances and analysing data. Over time I have grown to hate coding, another reason I considered being more an F type because using T as a programmer all day every day started to drain me. But now I sit doing bookkeeping, budgeting, financial planning etc. For my husband's business and I love it.

  37. (INFJ therapist) me & (INTJ, philosopher) husband…we are a great balanced for each other…btw, I am the one that calls and leads the family meetings, being sure to check for feelings. My husband sits there and lets me talk… THIS is so good!!!

  38. I literally took the test on sooo many websites to see what I am, but I always fall into 51% F and 49% T and while I do agree with the INFJ more, I get more validation from others Thinking the same, and I drop things if they dont make sense, even if everyone is on board, I won't budge my feeling so much but my thinking is more flexible to change. So does that mean I'm an INTJ? Even if I agree more with the characteristics of an INFJ more?

  39. So spot on, I'm an INFJ & my boyfriend is INTJ. We're so similar in so many ways. Our differences, however, totally lie in our expressions of emotions – to him I'm an emotional wreck and to me he's a cold asshole 😂

  40. Liked with my thumb… 2 points! You're also funny. Though, when I test I always receive an average of 85% thinking, with only 15% in feeling. You had mentioned that they are balanced, though I do tend to Ni/Fi loop. Any suggestions on how to be more feeler like? Lol, thanks. -intj

  41. I'm an INFJ that started dating an INTJ. It seems like a good pairing, where I can help encourage/strengthen his external feeling while he can help encourage/strengthen my external logic….What might be some pitfalls to such a relationship, like things to be aware of and keep in mind given the differences in how we process information?

  42. Good job Frank! You are great at explaining these concepts.
    I am an INTJ by the way.
    Thank you for what you do!

  43. Great analysis Frank. I've taken myers brigg several times and bounce back and forth between INTJ and INFJ, and after listening to you I can say I'm INFJ. It weird. I've been a programmer for 15 years where INTJ would revel in such a field, due to thinking, but as an INFJ programmer I was more concerned about how my users felt about the application and how it suited their needs as opposed to prioritizing a business need or the application scope. I also looked at programming more as act of art as opposed to a business function. Nonetheless I did meet business goals and need at the same time because I had to. When you conveyed that INFJ's looked focus on feeling and value judgements that was dead gave-a-way defining me and talking to people.

  44. Category INTJ. Ex-girlfriend expresses on 3 different occasions a different thing that hurt her feelings. Response, ok, I understand how this could have hurt your feelings. I apologize. I did not intend for this to occur and it won't happen again. The 4th time she said I'd hurt her feelings I said she was full of shit and attempting to manipulate to get what she wanted and this was absolutely correct. So you see, on one hand conciliatory and willing to accommodate the feelings of others. On the other hand happy to cut through the BS like a laser, as appropriate.

  45. Even at work, I ask how people truly feel, just as much a logical solving of problems I don't know because this is new to me.

  46. INFJ or INTJ? I’ve taken different tests & scored INFJ & INTJ an equal number of times. I’ve been so confused! 🤷‍♂️ I HAVE MY ANSWER!

    Thank you Frank! Do I want people thinking the same as me (or I as them) or do I want them feeling the same as me (or I as them)? Much internal analysis has been done these past few days. There are beliefs I have that I do not share, nor do I care if others agree with my deepest thoughts. However, I do care about what others feel. I’m so sensitive to the emotions of others. If two had a disagreement & I walked in after it had ended, I can tell instantly that the air is thick. I cannot remain because I absorb that negativity & it totally drains me.

    I’m more scared to feel differently to the group rather than thinking differently. I either hide my true feelings & put on the ‘mask’ & appear to fit in, or I disappear either mentally or physically (sometimes both which leads to an unproductive day)

    So, after much reading, research & rigorous self examination (this sentence sponsored by the letter ‘r’), I’ve concluded the following:

    INFJ with INTJ tendencies

    Anyone else feel the same way about themselves?

    The question now is, how do I develop my strengths as a 0.3% rare Male INFJ & shore up my weaknesses?

    I’ve had trauma in my life, leaving me chronically fatigued. I find social interaction so incredibly draining. The most draining of all is emotion. I find it so hard to be near emotive people because of how it affects me. The stronger the emotion, the more draining it can be.

    I use to attend church every week, but now if I attend church for just one hour, it can take four to six weekends of sleep to return how I was before I went. That’s how draining emotion is for me now.

    Anyone else resonate with my examples? (Another sponsored sentence by the letter ‘r’)

    I guess I’ll leave it there. 🖖

  47. I was recently told that intj women are more prone to be confused if they are infj or intj because intj is not very feminine. Females are expected to be more sensitive and emotional. Often an intj will try to be more emotional to fit society's needs. I was told by 2 different people that I am both intj and infj, depending on my environment and people I'm around.
    Idk. I was a terrible student of psychology. I had trouble paying attention and barely passed because I was always yelling "sounds like bullshit to me!" Lol so if I'm none or both it's ok. It's just funny I never looked at this type of stuff on YouTube but it kept suggesting I watch your infj stuff. Like YouTube knows my personality!

  48. Can you do INFJ with ENFJ? As an ENFJ, I have dated an INFJ, but he is so sold on the fact that our personalities may not be good long term. But I see it as complementary. I am an Extroverted Ambivert Generalist, but don't go out and social as much as a regular Extrovert. In high school I was an INFJ. He notes, that he only likes girls who have extra degrees(masters/phd), who are distant(like about to leave the city or state), and have certain careers so he can be pampered. It sounds immature to me, and that he only has a certain type, and is not open to exploring other options. Though he says I would be an awesome girlfriend. I get along great with his friends, I use to hangout with him every week, and through dating him it has made me understand him better. I just want to be more aware as to how to interact with him better, and why he feels this way.

  49. INTJ- let’s THINK about our feelings and WHY we might feel that way, and why we don’t have to always succumb to them in order to come to a solution.

    (Me when there’s a conflict)

  50. Thanks for bring to me new idea about extraverted F/T functions that extraverted F/T need to align their F/T with the environment. As an INTJ, I think it’s so true for me.

  51. One of the best explanations of why my feelings are not really a social function… only the commonality of goal/understanding

  52. People think I’m an intj because I’m very good at looking past my feelings and I’m very logical

  53. INTJ here.
    What validation? I've witnessed what it looks like, but I can't remember ever needing or wanting it.

  54. It's funny how people on YouTube seem to love INFJs, and dislike INTJs. There's one video that uses the term Resting B%$#* Face, or Death Stare to describe how INTJs can zone out. But with INFJs it's just called the INFJ stare.

    The bias cracked me up, but at the same time it's kinda insulting.

  55. I've always thought it was weird for me to be an INTJ, because supposedly we don't have feelings, but I always go with my "gut" after listening to the facts AND my intuition. If that's not feeling I don't know what is.

  56. My father is INTJ. I'm INFJ. And I think that INTJ care really much about some people – at least their loved ones.

  57. I'm an INTJ, I am concerned with other people's emotions, I care very much about other people and I really like to help people, I just do it in a more methodical way.

  58. INTJ's are independent. They don't give a fuck about how the whole group feels! That's why they are badass. They don't conform or bend over backwards for the group.

  59. I have an idea: maybe if specifically targeted for an ‘NNNN’ (neutral for everything) could be created, or at least someone close to that, especially if we understood the factors that determine personality. What extent of experimentation to test this hypothesis do you think is ethical?

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