INFJ: 6 Ways to be a Healthier INFJ

INFJ: 6 Ways to be a Healthier INFJ


– Hey what’s up everyone, what’s cookin’? I hope you’re having a good day thus far. Now a couple months ago I
released a video talking about signs of an unhealthy INFJ, the INFJ personality type. And today we’re gonna be talking about the positive side of that, ways to work on becoming healthier if you are an INFJ. First of all, this is the one
that I struggle with the most so I guess that’s why I
put it first, I don’t know. But try to be more
spontaneous and playful. I don’t just mean playful
like, you know, playing around but like willing to
interact more with people in a spontaneous way. As people who have introverted intuition as the dominant function, it makes us wanna stay within our defined view of the world, and that means also we like to plan a lot. We really like to plan stuff
out before we go into it which can make us very not spontaneous. I like to say, “I can be spontaneous, “if I have like two things to choose from, “if I can plan for the spontaneity.” This can hold you back sometimes, look it’s good to plan, I mean as a planner myself I like having a well-defined plan for
just about anything. When going to the grocery
story, I want a plan, you know, I don’t want to
leave anything up to chance. So when people, especially like if friends wanna be spontaneous, wanna
do stuff off the cuff, or maybe not even just friends, like things come up in life that force you to be spontaneous, INFJs can really struggle because there’s no time for a plan, it’s just we gotta go
with stuff in the moment. We’ve gotta be playful with other people and go along with the flow in the moment, it can be very difficult,
very challenging. So this is something that we can work on is when we get into a situation
where we’re gonna be faced with being a bit more spontaneous, rather than fight it, which
is my natural inclination, I wanna just you know find a
way around the spontaneity. Can I plan my way out of the spontaneity? Try, occasionally, work your way up, don’t try to go all in at
once and spontaneously decide I want to move to Japan or something. But you can be like, okay, I’m going to try to not
plan this next thing out, I’m not gonna try to figure out all the details in advance. Start with something low stakes, like your friends want
to go out to dinner, try to just figure it out as you go along. Go to a new part of town, maybe, go somewhere where you’re not familiar where you’re gonna kinda be forced to just go with the flow and
be in the present moment. And after a while this
can help you develop that ability to be
spontaneous and not have to be that killjoy who has to
have everything planned out, who has to know, “Where am I gonna park? “I gotta check out my SpotHero “before we go to this place, man.” No just try to go with the flow and then after a while
you can start to level out that crazy need you have to
always plan everything out. You’re just trying to bring it a little bit more in
balance so that at times you can just go with the flow. Let’s stop briefly and
support this channel with a quick commercial break. Thank you for sitting
through that, you’re a gem. All right, our second tip, this is gonna be another tough one. But learn to put yourself
first before others and allow other people to be unhappy with the decisions you make. This is a dangerous one because there are a lot of us who already don’t
have a problem with that. This is more for those
of us who have this issue where we’re always trying
to keep other people happy and the decisions that we make are more of a reaction
to what’s gonna keep everyone else happy rather than, what do I actually want? What do I think is gonna be
good for me in this situation? This is something that also takes practice because there’s gonna
be some big decisions that come up in life where it’s not gonna make everyone happy to do the thing that is true to you. To stay true to yourself
you’re gonna have to make some people a bit TO’d, and
you wanna start working on it now with the smaller decisions if you are struggling with this aspect, you need to start working on this now rather than waiting til it’s
this big life-changing decision because if you’re struggling with it then, it’s gonna be way harder
to put yourself first. And like I say, it’s a fine line, because putting yourself
first isn’t necessarily being self-centered or selfish but I can see how some
people can take that message and bring it into that negative direction. I think generally we’re
pretty empathetic people, we’re sensitive, we know
what’s best for others, right? But we need to bring in the balance of not just sacrificing ourselves for that. We need to learn how to
draw boundaries and realize, “I need to make decisions
that work for me first, “before I think about is everyone else “gonna be okay with this?” You know what I mean,
which is not necessarily our first inclination. And you can get stuck in this rut of, well I’ve been sacrificing what I wanna do to keep everyone else happy, or, you get mad at other
people because you have the decision you wanna make
and you’re trying to get everyone else on board with it first before you feel like you can do it. And then you get mad when the other people don’t get on board. So you’ve gotta develop that ability to just put your foot down and say, “This is what I’m doing
’cause it works for me, “this is what I want to do.” And it’s tough, realizing that you
don’t really owe people, you don’t owe it to
people that they’re happy with your decisions. Onto number three. This is a good one: Be more present. Being intuitive means that
we live in our imaginations more than we live in the physical world. And what goes along with that naturally is to constantly project into the future. Like I said we’re always
trying to plan ahead. Even when we’re not really aware of it we’re always trying to figure out what’s coming around the corner. That’s what intuition is good at, that’s what the intuition,
that’s what its strength is, figuring out what’s coming
around the corner, man? And that’s the gear
that you can be stuck in if you’re not careful,
especially because INFJs are really out of balance when it comes to intuition and sensing. Extraverted sensing is really
all about being present, being there in the moment. And this goes hand-in-hand
with the first point of being more spontaneous
but you need to practice those moments of getting out of your head and just being present in the real world, in your body. Being in the moment rather
than being in a few seconds, a few minutes, a few hours,
a few years into the future. Catch yourself, realize, “Oh
man, I’m not even in the year “2000-whatever it is right now, “I’m way ahead of it,” and
it’s good from time to time, of course everyone needs
to use their intuition to project out into the future a bit. It would be a terrible
thing if you couldn’t do it. But when you’re sacrificing being in the present moment for that, you’re no longer living in reality, you’re living in a
projection of the future. All right, the next one, number four it might surprise you a bit. It’s not advice I hear given
out very often to INFJs, but INFJs are naturally teachers. We like to just tell people
what our view of the world is in a way so we can help
them out, be a bit better. If you watch yourself,
you’re gonna find yourself making little life lessons
out of the most mundane stuff all the time. Even if it’s just a quick
thing you’ll be like, “Yeah man, that’s how the world is.” Because we want to help others and because we feel like we’ve figured out a lot of the patterns with our intuition and we’re like, “I’ve
seen this happen before, “let me tell others about
it, let me get it out there “so that I can make them aware
of what I have discovered.” I mean that’s a good thing,
it’s not a bad thing, but the flip side of it
is that we can forget to take in information, forget
that we don’t know everything and we need to learn from others. So that’s the next point is, remind yourself that others
have something to teach you. Everyone, not just the
people that we look up to, not just our mentors
but everyone around us has something they’ve
figured out about life that we maybe haven’t figured out. All right maybe not the little children, but maybe even them,
maybe they see something in a different way that can
open something up in our minds. So rather than getting stuck in that gear, that one way of, “I need to
tell you how I see things,” you know and it’s from a good place, it’s from trying to help people, “I need to tell you how things are,” allow yourself to reverse it
from time to time and be like, “Oh I can learn something
from you even though “you’re not necessarily a teacher,” you know just everyday people. And it’s not so much that
they have a ton of wisdom or whatever but what
it is is that they have a different perspective on life, they’re seeing things
from a different way, which can also help us break out of that kind of narrow introverted intuition, it is a narrow thing. It’s not looking out to gather in a bunch of different perspectives so when we open ourselves up to realize that other people can teach us stuff about the world, about ourselves maybe, just from showing a different perspective, just from us taking in something that is different from how we see things, that can really open up our world. So remind yourself, it’s not just me blasting
out to the rest of the world what I know, right? I need to also take in from others, learn lessons from others
and be open to that, be open to hearing their perspective and what they have learned through life. On to tip number five. I put up a one but I should be
putting up a five right now. This is so general, I wondered if I should even put it in here but take care of your body. Take care of this vehicle
that we’re driving around this world. Of course everyone should
be taking care of their body but it’s not the most obvious
thing to INFJs because it’s all having to do with that inferior extraverted sensing, we don’t respect the
physical world so much, what we respect is our imagination. Even if we may think, and it’s a weird thing because because that is our inferior function we may think we really respect it because it’s something
we’re not terribly good at. We’re like, “Oh yeah
man, the physical world, “being in the now, I love that stuff.” But really on a very base
level, we don’t respect it because it’s not the first thing that we are putting our attention towards. That has to do with taking
care of our physical body because to us, you know, it’s
part of the physical world and it’s easy to forget about it, it’s easy to just be like
what’s most important is my imagination, my intuition, and the body is a distant second. But don’t let yourself, don’t let yourself go is
what I’m trying to say. Make sure that you get into your body, take care of your body, don’t neglect it, realize that the body
is necessary to support this big ol’ amazing
intuition you got going on. It’ll work much better if
you take care of your body. Now onto our last point, number six. This is gonna be hard-hitting
so brace yourself. Let other people see the real you. This is difficult for two
reasons, it seems to me. First of all, a lot of us INFJs don’t know who the real us is, or if we do, it’s hard to put our finger on it because it kind of changes situationally. It can be difficult to be even aware of what our identity is,
you know what I mean? And then beyond that, we like to, because of
our extraverted feeling, we like to kinda move around with others to fit in. We like to be able to keep
everyone else feeling good, and part of that is sort
of shape-shifting a bit, moving our identity around
to fit in with whoever, whomever, to be correct,
whomever we’re with. And I go out of my way to be correct and then I end the sentence
with a preposition, oh well. It takes a lot for an INFJ, this goes back to putting
yourself first in decisions, but it takes a lot for us to to get to that point where
we can be really solid in who we are as people and
then to allow other people to see that consistently and authentically throughout many different
scenarios, you know, with other different groups of people where we normally would
try to blend in a bit more because we’re good at that
and we like to do that, we like to fit in and
just go with the flow of what’s going on. I don’t mean spontaneity-wise, going back to our first point, I mean more like go with the flow of what’s the vibe of the room, we like to fit into that. We don’t want to stand out so much and, make ripples, make waves, we
don’t wanna rock the boat. So this is something you’ve
gotta kind of get over and a lot of these
previous tips can help you develop that ability to be comfortable with who you are and be
able to walk into a room and perhaps rock the boat a bit because you know who you are and you’re not trying to put on a show for others. INFJs, believe it or not,
can get the reputation for being fake and phony because we are able to do that game of kind
of presenting ourselves in different ways
depending on the situation. We’re not the kind of people
whose first inclination is gonna be like, “No,
uh uh, this is who I am, “you all can adjust to that.” No we wanna adjust to the room. It’s gonna be hard to fight that because a lot of times
you’re not gonna think you’re being fake, you’re gonna be like, “No
this is just what I do. “I play the game.” We realize as INFJanes… As INFJanes? As INFJs and as IN-Frank-Janes, social interactions are
a big game, we get it, we understand the game and
we don’t mind playing it because we just feel like that’s
what you’re supposed to do, you’re supposed to play the game. And if part of the game is me, you know, doing a little shucking and jiving, doing a little juke, a little
power move, a little spin, to fit in, to like obfuscate
my true identity a bit, just to keep the happy vibe going, just to keep others happy? We’ll do it because that’s the game. So you have to develop this ability to, you’re never gonna not
be aware of the game, you can’t drop the knowledge of the game, but what you can do is
realize I can play the game and still put forth my real self. I don’t need to totally wear the cloak of personality invisibility
just to get myself through these things. I can actually be me,
put out there who I am, and maybe some people won’t like it, maybe some people won’t
be happy with it, oh well, but that’s what you’ve
gotta be able to develop in order to be like a
fully rounded person, in order to be a healthier INFJ. Because if you do this for decades, if you play the game for
decades of fitting in and not being your real
self and not actually, you’re gonna start to not
actually know yourself. “What do I think is true,
who do I think I am? “I don’t know I’m just
looking at everyone else “to define that for me.” And it changes based on the situation. And people are gonna resist that, people don’t like it especially
if you’re really good at playing the game, people don’t like it when suddenly they see a part of you that you know has always
sort of been there, that they haven’t seen because
you’re good at hiding it. But start revealing those
parts of yourself to others, let them see the real you. And it’s possible maybe
you’ll lose some friends along the way, but were
they really friends, were they really friends with you? But I think you’ll also be surprised to know that a lot of
people will accept you for who you really are. But of course part of
the first step of that is really figuring out who you are. How do you do that you might wonder? That’s a tough one. But it is something that I think with a lot of these other steps, being more spontaneous, being
more present in the moment, taking care of your body, making decisions that are maybe unpopular but that you know are right for you, those can sort of start
to define for yourself what kind of person you really are. And you’re gonna start to
feel comfortable with that and allow yourself to
show that to other people. So those are my six tips
to being a healthier INFJ. If you want to check out
some other videos of mine, click or tap the screen right there. If you forgot how YouTube works, make sure you smash Like, subscribe if you wanna see more videos like this and others ’cause
I do a whole plethora of different kinds of videos, hit that button and until next time, stay cool and attractive.

100 thoughts on “INFJ: 6 Ways to be a Healthier INFJ

  1. To keep up with my future videos about INFJs, comedy sketches, and more, you know what to do 👉 http://bit.ly/frankjames

  2. This whole video spoke to me as an INFJ I really have the same struggles I especially have been having trouble with the spontaneity thing lately and it’s really hard when I don’t have time to mentally prepare myself for something

  3. It's so odd how all the things I've been noticing in myself and trying to work on have been brought to light in what you've said, ive been thinking a lot about going into teaching art because I'm imaginative but love to share and teach people things and want to help others. I've also been trying to listen more as I'm aware i talk about my own experience when relating in conversation. It's hard to get out of the comfort zone sometimes but hopefully with time i can improve myself. Thanks for more great advice FJ!

  4. INFJames..! love it! 😂😂😂

    Got me thinking a lot..!
    Thank you for the inspiration!
    Hope things are working out for you😊

  5. I'm still really confused whether I'm an infj or an intj who uses their introverted feeling a lot but I make all my decisions based on logic and I seem to have extraverted thinking but in the mean time I'm so empathetic and sensitive and care for everyone's emotions and can be too forgiving at times and don't mind crying in public but I've asked some people I know whether I talk about my emotions or not and they said no so does that mean I'm an INTJ or an INFJ
    Can intjs even be that empathetic
    And I also get random strangers talking to me about their lives

  6. Personally I think alI of everything we do is really self serving or self preserving. lol Example: Putting others first, helps us to control the situation. or so we think. If we can make everyone happy then the chance of them being angry at us and criticizing us and rejecting us helps us avoid those things as we have low self esteem. When people are happy with us then we feel good about ourselves.

  7. 1. Be spontaneous
    2. Put yourself first – stop sacrificing your own happiness
    3. Be more present
    4. Infjs are naturally teachers but sometimes we can forget to take in information and we need to remind ourselves that others also have things to teach US
    5. Take care of your body
    6. Let other people see the real you

    This video came at just the right time because I feel like I'm losing a lot of friends because I have different priorities to them. I'm a teenager and they all like to go to parties all the time and I like to sometimes but other times I just don't want to and it leaves me out the loop. I've been pretending to be someone else for so long that I don't even know who I am anymore, I don't know if I ever have

  8. Hi Frank i need to say i felt lost a few days ago and even went through an emotional breakdown. I previously done a personality test and first it came up as a ISFP i coul connect to some of it but wasn't me. I made the very complicated desision after whatching a few of your videos to re do the test and be brutally honest with myself. I tested as a INFJ. ALL your videos is so on the mark its scary. I watched your break up video and is very helpful. Im currently in an unhealthy relationship for more than 13 years where i find im in deadlock for the past 2 years. I'm currently burning myself out. Im giving myself a reality check of sorts. I have made up my mind but giving myself the opportunity to step back and look at the situation differently before making impulsive decisions. As we live to chase a future it is hard for us to understand people whom just happy where they are and not dream towards a future. Thank you for helping me accept myself for being weird and that's a good thing. And looking at a future break up in a diffrent light it seems more achievable and not that flat spin state i was in a few days ago as we have to prepare ourselves mentally and physically for this very unpleasant experience. I think this will aids me as a better person where i can be more.

  9. I hate not having my plan it's so hard to happily change my day and keep a good mood. Putting myself first is definitely not #1 oh the struggles I freeze up.

  10. with age we learn how to not care about rocking the boat, I find. Once you are over forty and have been through enough you are done caring about what others think of your authentic you. lol, I am grateful, lol, that you didn't make your video perfect, perfection is overrated by us and we never get it perfect easily, lol. Good one.

  11. Can relate to number 2, making big decisions that put yourself first, after making big decisions to subconsciously make other people happy (and regretting it), feels scary and difficult af LOL

  12. I dunno if it’s a legit fear of spontaneity, or a matter of being a “pleasure delayer”. Often the plotting of an event is more satisfying than its actual execution for me. I’m the kind of person, who deliberately hides a candy bar in the back of a cabinet, for a few weeks, because imagining eating it, intensifies my actual desire for it. Now that I have typed that out, do I see how messed up that is.

  13. I found this and wanna know if is it wrong that I'm already healthy without realizing until I watched this. I'm scared.

  14. Mr James thank you for your video…was very enriching.As an infj i get satisfied when i help others up to a point where i hated myself for that in such a capitalistic world untill i understood that i can be making money out of that strangerly…besides..i have noticed that the more i help others the double i gain back, i surpass my limits and that actually makes me stronger( if i dont die before😁

  15. This was so accurate and enlightening. I think you did a great job of explaining how we like to play the game and act differently depending on the group of people that we are with at the time. Social intelligence is an important skill to have, but if we camouflage ourselves too much it can start to feel like we don't have a very consistent personality. Thank you for sharing, your videos are always entertaining to watch!

  16. As an INFJ I find myself being more and more criticized, critiqued, or being given unsolicited advice from family and friends. Maybe it’s just this season of my life. But I wish that I had better tools and things to say to deal with and push back on not wanting their opinions. Maybe part of it comes from an INFJ not being “readable”. I try to express when I’m upset or things that I don’t like. But when I do so, everyone tells me I’m being harsh or I’ve gone too far or that I go from 0-10. And I don’t feel like I do. I’m just expressing how I feel or how someone has made me feel. And then what really upsets me is that I take the time to express my feelings and no one listens, or they dismiss what I say, or they ignore me and nothing changes. It’s so frustrating. I know I can’t control anyone but myself. So I would love to see a video of tricks and tools I can use when I’m feeling this way and how to deal with unsolicited advice from others. Thanks!!

  17. It's really hard for me to live in the present. Sometimes, I would be so preoccupied in my head that I unconsciously break things or spill something on myself. Others find me as careless but I really am just out of focus. I live inside my head. I've noticed so many stuff around me when I became aware of this. I realized I know nothing much about my family or my friends. It makes me feel like I've been self-centered all along. Maybe I am. I don't know but it's something that have always been out of control. It's not that I only think about myself but its because I live in myself, in my head, constantly in my thoughts. You know what I mean, right? It's so frustrating. Another thing is whenever I am thinking, it's get so far ahead and I start to imagine the future. I don't also notice alot of stuff. You see when I clean my room, I'm not that specific. I just make the room decent as a whole. Like the small details are forgotten. It's the same when I'm walking or travelling. I forget everything around me even if I'm moving. And that doesn't even make sense when I think about but it happens to me all the time.

  18. When I started doing all these 6 things you mentioned I noticed that I attracted many people and most of them were positive ones.

  19. Thanks for these videos! I've recently found out my personality type and you have helped me to better understand and control my strengths and weaknesses. After years of feeling weird it is nice to have some insight.

  20. I feel very anxious at last minute changes of plans and can get irritable, especially with folks who can’t seem to come to an agreement or throw a wrench in things by running late. My therapist suggested to close your mouth and count backwards from five before you speak, from 10 if you need to. Reacting out of frustration only makes the situation worse. I’ve found it really helpful, and most of the time the things that get out of order are not a big deal! I allow myself to feel upset if it’s really important to me – missing a flight for example that has a lot of consequences – but if it really isn’t that big a deal I tell myself to get over it. That’s the other “rule” – if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t give it more than 5 minutes of your time stressing about it. 🙂

  21. Recently I took this MBTI test and I was shocked because I saw how accurate everything is, considering that I am also INFJ. Your videos are really good and very accurate. I always analyse PEOPLE, their behaviour, like I am trying to find the true meaning of everything, I live too much in my past. I feel for example, that other people move on after breakup easily then me, I am very often in some nostalgic mood I can't explain. Sometimes I feel nostalgia for places or people I never saw before…I hope fellow INFJs will know what I mean. And I always admired those people with ,,strong identity'' you know when they enter the room their energy just fill the space and they always can say ,,This is me, this is who I am this is what I love…'' They don't actually say that with words but it just can be felt in the air if you know what I mean. And I never in my life felt that I had some true identity. I was friends with so different people. All my friends in life were so different types of people. For example I can go to the club and listen rock music and be ,,crazy girl who rock the dancefloor'' and the other day I can go to library with other friend and read existential novels. And in both situations I will feel good and enjoy them in different way.

    Your videos really help me because before I was thinking I was lost and something's wrong with me but now I see I am just blessed/cursed with being INFJ haha 🙂 And thanks for this advices

  22. Right guys, bring it in! We gotta formulate a stratagem to crack this spontaneity thing. I suggest a spread sheet to get an overview of our availability for a meeting. I just have to plan out how best to set it up. I'll check my schedule and squeeze in "spreadsheet formatting guidance" at some point. I need a new diary, too. And my pens have all ran out of ink. Why is the universe against us? Sigh … Just call the whole thing off…

    Netflix

  23. Frank, how do you be more present? I struggle with that one the most. Even when I'm consciously focusing on living in the moment, I inevitably slip back into curiosity, contemplation, and futuristic thought. For example, I tried really hard to think about the sandwich I ate for lunch and to savor it and pay particular attention to the taste and the smell of it and to really enjoy the present experience. Within probably thirty seconds, I was thinking of ways to improve the sandwich as well as thinking about the people I would like to have dinner with in the near future. I feel like actively suppressing my intuition is synonymous to holding back a tsunamis with my bare hands.

  24. SO after a year and not relating to "types" I was categorized into I became a little more honest and keep coming back as INFJ. I honestly look at INFJ as being "superior" in many ways. I rarely open up to people but when I do they get obsessive and that turns me off like hell. Strangers in the stores and even at the DMV have spilled their life stories to me and I appreciate that but have no idea why they do. I always thought I was more on the "thinking" side instead of feeling but I think INFJ's are more balanced at that than any other F type. Just my personal opinion. I understand your facial features and the way you talk. It's funny not sure how to describe that but yes everything you're saying resonates. I'm too damn serious and reclusive but crazy and funny as hell to those who know me. I never stop planning and obsessing about options yet it has to be on my time and terms. I get spontaneous when its my plan because I know my plans will actually work.

  25. Your videos have helped me so much as a fellow INFJ, sometimes I feel like watching your videos is like watching an instruction manual explaining why I am the way that I am, so thanks 🙂 also if you could give some advice for other INFJ's trying to start out on youtube I would appreciate it.

  26. Thank you for this video:), it would be very cool if you can make a video about INFJ jobs, because i have really difficulties in finding out what jobs can be very unhealthy for a INFJs life… This is an important decision and i really don't want to have an unhappy job/life….

  27. Thank you again🙏🏽I made a clip now, on some of the personalities within the personality. You, Erik Thor and some other INFJs on YT have helped me so much this last year!

  28. I have felt most of my life that I am responsible for others happiness and things that have been important to me I have sacrificed it in order to make others happy and when going through therapy, my therapist was saying use “I” statements. And to start setting boundaries. I am having difficulty in setting boundaries. I am so glad you have done this vid FJ as I have been self doubting my self on some of things you have broached on in this vid. It’s been a relieve valve watching this vid. A lot of what you said resonates my self. Omg I am just listening to your last point about showing my real self. And hearing that made me feel abit anxious. I have said since I was 16 “ I just want to be my self” I think I am scared of showing my self and being rejected/hurt. I get anxious if someone in my company seems quiet, moody.

  29. Spontaneous planning hack – when someone asks you to do something spontaneous say 'maybe' then proceed to analyze every possible eventuality of going then say yes even though you think it's a bad idea because you don't want to disappoint your friend.

  30. I can't say enough of how helpful this is for me. I plan to save this and view your video often as I think if I work on these things, I will be a better INFJ. Much 🧡.

  31. I spent my college years hanging out with yolo extroverts, I never got to do the stuff that I wanted/needed with people because I always wanted others to be happy over my own needs. Didn't work out so well cause I got depressed and I cut all those people out the final year because I was so deeply EXHAUSTED at being someone I wasn't and no one knew who I really was at all 😮 Not fully their fault cause I'm good at people pleasing and becoming whatever the group needs me to be, but it was so strange yet again to feel like I "see" and know people and no one did the same for me.

  32. Infjs, or any type for that matter, vary too much to be classified in one video. I've known some who were total meek wallflowers and others who put the bomb in bombastic. Check out Dave Powers' stuff, he says theres 32 subtypes of every type. I think theres at least that.

  33. This is a good speech. Thanks! 🙂 For me, running helped and still helps me to figure all out and also empowers me to, like Bukowski said, "go all the way" if I am ever going to try. That is my moto. ////
    A question, are you made a video about writers whose words sounds familiar to you? Bukowski in his diary talks almost like I am talking stuff to myself. I almost freak out when I first read it. That is kinda writers who inspired me to be just present, and going with the flow.

  34. كنت اتمنى ترجمه عربيه☹💔
    عموما اكيد الفيديو جميل حتى لو ما شفته استمر

  35. I "put myself first" once… my husband turned to me and called me selfish! I didbeceryrhubg to work around family time. Sometimes it cut in but rarely. That was years ago and it still burns in my soul!
    I verbalized that to him. He nonchalantly said "I remember that. Didnt know it hurt you." Didnt say it in a helpful way to me and see how deeply hurt I was by it. I still sit with it.

  36. Shit I’m stuck again lol
    Can’t stop watching these in between my to do list. So right on and detailed reminders I need to hear again and again 🙏

  37. As I recently learned that I’m an INFJ, and FJ’s funny & I insightful videos, they have really helped me understand realize that I need work to be a healthy INFJ and now I know how! I plan my day, and everything I do, to the point of ridiculousness so to try to go with the flow more is something of a challenge for me.

    Anyways thanks FJ you have helped another INFJ understand how I operate and where I need to work on! Great job!!

  38. Just wanted to add that you nailed what I need to focus on and where I need work!! I feel like your talking directly to me 😆

  39. Idk why i hadnt b4 today? Made my kids do the mbti. Im infp. So. Lmfao. My 9 yr old daughterm enfp. My 12 yr old son infj. Ha.ha haaaaa. Had to share. Yes i told him to look you up & watch your stuff. &yes he does comment. So does she. Giggle

  40. Thank you for existing. You have a brilliant mind, a resilient heart, and you make my heart FEEL. Thank you. 💙 you teach me so much. I'm happy to see the authentically and genuinely happy YOU! I love you! I appreciate you! 🤟🙏💙

  41. You're accurate and comprehensive . If I was 20 years younger (before I've learned those lessons the hard way) l would benefit even more from those video. You really spread around high energy. Thank you

  42. Idk if it’s something you get with age but for me I just let it all hang out now. Don’t really hold anything back anymore. Before that got me no where but now people all think “wow, what a cool guy.”

  43. I get what you mean. Really😂especially jokes INFJ- I am Frank James. So now serious part if anyone concerns, James took me to an empty mind world and I was just staring to his eyes and smiled when what he said really hit me. Point 6-get into others vibe, i thot a lot of people is doin it? Not only INFJ and it might not be so bad, I guess you mean was not immerse in for too long and believe you are like that. And I think there shld be one more, point 7. YOU CANT BE FRIEND WITH EVERYONE. This is crucially important bcuz we want to be lovely with everyone and when they are not the same vibe, we struggle, we think is our prob which is NOT. I came to realize we r not the best people to social and we dont have to. This is my fav vid so far and I love it. Kinda overwhelmed today with my super sensitivity, thanks for make me calm. Love

  44. Oh my god, I love this video so much! Right now I'm going through a crisis, and I had a lot of thoughts about authenticity, honesty, opening up to others, going with the flow, and that video hit me hard, but it helped me in a really powerful way. Thank you, FJ! It is so calming and helpful to know there are others out there who went through these specific struggles, choked these thoughts, too. Thank you, really.

  45. When I was in schools,I didn't have any friends except my 3 cousins who lived with me together. When college started, they went to a different college.I decided to make new friends but no one was interesting. I was always quiet in the class and all my class fellows started to call me a 'weirdo and psycho'…even the teachers were concerned, just to be "normal" for them I started sitting with a girl. She was nice but very different.Our interests didn't match at all. She had a lot of other best friends too and didn't talk to me a lot. She said I was her best friend and stuff.But then after maybe six months, she started to send me long screenshots of her arguments or little problems with her other best friends. She asked me to make a fake acoount and humiliate someone who had said something to her other friends, not once but twice. She asked me to write a long letter for her friend because my English is better than hers. She forced me to meet new people and talk to them. I did everything just to be a good friend. But I got tired of it.I wanted to leave her and start ignoring her but it seemed very rude to me, I thought its better to tell her the reason. When I told her that she was okay about it. But after that, now she has been sad for a week and I only talk to her if she talks and she barely talks.Was it rude to say that to her? I have been going crazy thinking about it only bacause my sisters and cousins are telling me that it was rude and mean,they tell me I'm an insensitive person. Please someone honestly tell me what should I do????

    And sorry if you read it and it annoyed you

  46. You: “take care of your body man”
    Me: “spot on- I have got to practice better habits” ( making mental list of planned action points)
    You: you have to let other people see the real you”
    Me: “UGH, no “ end of thought. Pause video to comment.
    “Sigh-I should probably finish the video. It’s the right thing to do.”

  47. Intuitive goes into miss guided overdrive when in combination with PTSD. Just a heads up. So planning….. Goes into massive top priority to the point can no longer handle spontaneous activities. I used to be so fun and spontaneous. I want that shit back.

  48. I see you with your OP language..also trying to put it in general terms for the community lol.
    Wonderful advice. Gracias INFJ brutha.

  49. Literally try to get myself to absorb into my chair when you said I need to work on putting myself first and be okay with hurting others.
    This whole video is infj gold but I feel personality attacked 😂

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