How to Tap the Full Potential of Relaxation | Podcast With Ryan Holiday

(boom) – You know what blows my face
off, I’ve come to realize? Kindness from others to others. Something I realized
recently is how excited I get when I see somebody do something. I watched, this actually happened, I watched, like, a young thug-looking kid let an elderly woman– (intense hip-hop music) – Hey! – You got your perspective. (engine revs) (crowd cheers) I just wanna be happy,
don’t you wanna be happy? (piano-driven hip-hop music) Hey, guys, welcome to a
new episode of my podcast. I mean, I rarely have
somebody on my podcast twice. There are just too many
fuckin’ people to get to, and, let’s call it what it is, I wanna be speaking all the time, anyway. That’s why I interrupt everybody. And so, I’m even sad when I have a guest, let alone somebody who actually’s fucking coming on for the second time. However, somebody I’ve
admired for a long time, you’ll be able to go back,
Google his name and my name in the same thing, you’ll be able to see the first time we were together. I thought that was a really
strong episode of “#AskGaryVee.” Since then, some of you may know, we started a speaking bureau. I stole my favorite employee,
well, favorite partner, this guy right there, on
Instagram, if you’re looking, Zach Nadler, from CAA, and
we started VaynerSpeakers. And the gentleman that’s with me right now is actually part of that world, and, at least from what I’m seeing on my P&L, I think he’s probably happy
and made a good decision– – Super happy, it’s been awesome. – Thanks, Ryan. But more importantly,
way more importantly, why we’re here, he has a new book out, I think your ninth? – I think it’s nine. – Book, I was commending the size. He made a brilliant statement,
which is what he does, about, you should read it in one flight. I think that’s right. I’ve just cut 800 pages
of my next book out. And he’s here.
– Whoa, 800 pages? – I’m kidding, I mean.
(Ryan laughs) I’m joking, Ryan. – Oh. – Actually, my next book, no joke, is most likely gonna be a textbook. – [Ryan] Wow. – So I’ve been so much
in, you know, what I see, and I’m actually trying to help learners that learn differently,
that don’t do what I do, like, (pen taps on desk) daily, I think. Whatever, nonetheless, that’s
not what we’re here for. “Stillness Is Key,” Ryan
Holiday is in the building. Ryan, how are you? – Thanks for having me, I’m awesome. – Happy to be here. Happy to have you here, excuse me. All right, when’s the book coming out? – Yesterday, it’s done.
– So it came out yesterday. It’s live on Instagram, so go to Amazon, type in “Stillness Is the Key.” Buy it, if you like me at all. But for everybody who’s listening now, we’re probably putting this
out in two or three days, what have you, it’s
obviously now on Amazon and all your favorite bookstores. What’s it about, Ry? – Well, it’s about this idea of stillness, which, it might seem like
you’re a strange person to talk to about stillness,
’cause you’re the most active, hard-working person
that I’ve not only met, but maybe heard of. But I actually think that
people miss what stillness is. We think stillness is like
a monk, or it’s meditation. Stillness is what you
need most when you’re super busy and active, right? – Do you actually believe, because you’re extremely thoughtful,
that I’m wildly still? – Wildly still, I don’t know about that. But here’s what I would say. – [Gary] Please. – For all the activity and
all the things you’re doing, there’s no way you could
be as successful as you are if your mind was going the
same speed that your body is. Like, if a really great
athlete in the craziest, busiest game, super slow. The game has slowed down. They’re seeing things that
everyone else isn’t seeing. – When, it’s amazing you said that, because, as a big sports
fan, when that first hit the lexicon years ago, when
I was nine, 10, 13, 17, when I heard great athletes talking about the game slowing down– – [Ryan] Yeah. – When I tell you how slow
everything feels for me, I often say to my friends that
New York City’s slow for me. (Ryan laughs)
And they always freak, and they’re like, “You are a crackhead!” – [Ryan] Yeah. – And what I’m actually saying is what you’re actually talking about. Everything is so simple,
everything is so slow, everything is the same pattern, over, and over, and over again. I’m scared to tell
people how slow it feels. – Yeah, because, and I think
it’s not just athletes, I think great stock
traders, great artists, great whatever, when you reach
mastery in what you’re doing, not only does stuff slow
down, but it simplifies, and so you’re able to make connections that other people can’t make, you’re able to control
your emotions in a way that other people can’t control them. So where they’re scared, anxious, worried, frustrated, you’re like,
“This is what it is, “let’s make the most of it.” Like, when I think about New England in the Super Bowl being down 28 to three, that is what stillness
is, even though they then in the next 12 minutes–
– Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, listen, you know I love you. – [Ryan] Of course. – We did all the nice things up front. I’m aware that Coach Belichick is a fan of a prior book you’ve written. – [Ryan] Mm-hm. – But for you to have the audacity to drop that analogy in my face, for all the belief that you are one of the kindest, most
thoughtful kids I know, I forever feel about you differently. – Okay, okay, I’ll take it.
– Okay, let’s move on. – Well, let’s go up a track. Let’s think about a running
back as the space opens up. – Which is super narrow. – Right, and on the one hand, you’d think they’d be worried about getting hit, you’d think they’d be
worried about the clock. No, they’ve zeroed in
on this thing they have to do.
– It’s funny you say that to make myself feel better,
but it’s actually true. I am, and I’ve watched a lot
of Pittsburgh Steeler football, because of just being in playoff runs and things of that nature. Now that I’m watching
every one of his runs, in the short couple
games that Le’Veon Bell has played for the Jets, I do not recall a run, this, everything
about his success in the NFL is now completely obvious to me, and it’s actually completely predicated on what you said. His shuffling, his
pitter-patter, at the line, which is outrageously patient, and his, I am fascinated how he runs the ball. – I am, too. And look, let’s zoom out. There’s also, I think,
an amount of stillness, and let’s call it
confidence, required to make the decision to hold
out for a year, right? – Yes.
– Like what brings him to the Jets. So imagine what people are
saying about him on Twitter, what’s being said in negotiations, what his family’s saying–
– What fans don’t know about it, and his contract,
and by most standards, is okay for the holdout. But let’s just go to a different place, even higher up to your point. Judgment is so rampant in our society, the people that cast judgment have envy of a professional athlete because, let’s just call it what it is, a shocking percentage of us
would want to be doing that. – [Ryan] Of course. – However, people are so undereducated on what football players are going, football players are not
basketball and baseball players. These are not guaranteed contracts. People are wildly confused
by the actual math. – And one hit, (snaps fingers) it’s over. – [Gary] And one hit, it’s over. – And so, that idea of
being able to tune out all the stuff that’s happening– – 100%, real life, yeah.
– Around you to stick with a principle, or to stick with what you–
– I got it. – Think you need to do for your career. – So, Ryan, to, in my
obsession of, I assume, discounted, this is somewhere between 11 and 18 bucks on Amazon. – [Ryan] Yeah. – To make that, why, for the
masses that are listening to me right now, and
us, when I say to you, there are so many things I like about you, and it’s, honestly, I
think it’s the things that I see similarities, we’re
coming at it differently, but I just like the way you do shit. When I ask you (snaps
fingers) this question, ’cause it’s how I always think, why is $13 gonna be really good for somebody on the other end? – [Ryan] Sure. – There’s always a lot of answers. – [Ryan] Yeah. – But on (snaps fingers) hot take, what’s your answer to that question? – You mean generally with
books, or you mean with this book?
– No, this book to what you know about my audience. – Well, let’s just
think about it this way. I make good money. I consult for big sports teams, I give talks to big organizations. I spent three years working on this thing. This is three years of me– – Thinking.
– Thinking every single day, combing history, combing
sports, combing literature, for the strategies and
insights for how the greats of all time slow things
down and get to a place where they’re not jerked
around by their emotions or jerked around by external noises. – I’m sorry, I’m gonna change
this interview a little bit. When you think about that,
why, for you, as a human, do you not take the process that I do, which is put out content
along the way for free? Why does it manifest in this form for you? – I do, though. Like, so I write, every
single day I write an email called Daily Stoic, that
goes out to 200,000 people. – [Gary] Love it. – And it’s the biggest community of people interested in ancient philosophy and history.
– Ryan, when are you starting the (clicks pen) text version of it? (clicks pen) – I use the same company, I just signed up with the same company that you did.
– Community? – Yeah.
– Great, that was literally a loaded question.
– I think that’s the next big thing.
– You will crush. You’re about to shit, do you know what shitting your pants looks like? – I would say fortunately, no. (laughs) – Okay, so, I’m trying
to think if I really, (clicks pen) yes, I have ish. (Ryan and crew laugh)
So, I think a lot of people are in the ish business of
shitting their pants, right? I think it’s really
hard, if you’re an adult, like, to be fully shitting your pants– – Well, all of us–
– That you completely let go, or are unconscious,
(Ryan laughs) but I think a lot of us secretly,
we don’t wanna admit it, but there’s a lot of people in this room, on the stream, and in
life are in the “ish” (Ryan laughs)
of shitting their pants business, so in that, I don’t even know where I’m going anymore. (crew members laugh) You’re about to shit your pants when you see the data behind what texting actually means in actual consumption. – Well, what I’m really into, so, you know, you write a book, and I think the Daily Stoic
book sold like 600,000 copies. It’s in 30 languages, it’s crushing.
– Huge, (blows raspberry) that’s a huge number. – But I sell that book to a publisher, who sells that book to Amazon, Amazon’s now responsible for 80% or so of book sales–
– That’s it? – Of, so that you basically sell your book to a middleman.
– No, that wasn’t a joke. – You think it should be higher? – (laughs) No, I don’t think it should. – Great.
– First of all, I don’t think anything should, second– – Your guess would be higher. – No, I mean, that’s a pretty ridiculous number.
– It’s insane. – It’s a joke to everybody
who competes against Amazon in selling books.
– Of course. – So, like, why the fuck have you guys not innovated in 20 years? – [Ryan] It’s terrible, it’s– – Do you wanna start a bookstore with me? – [Ryan] I do.
– I think we could crush. – I have an idea about it, I’ll run it by you.
– I actually have one too. – [Ryan] Okay. – Guys, this is how it happens. – [Ryan] (laughs) Yeah. – No, really, like, in
two and a half years, you’re gonna see, and by the way, in 11 years, because it’s just a thesis that then will be
contextualized in 11 years where we have the general knowledge, what we put it into. By the way, there’s a huge play, to go against that 80%
market share of Amazon. – Especially because Amazon,
as awesome as they are, at this point doesn’t really
care that much about books. Like, I bet the books make– – When did they?
– 1% of AWS revenues. – [Gary] Oh, you mean, I see, I see. – Yeah. – You mean as a, 100%. They’re in the place where
the financial aspect of it won’t dictate them to
fast follow an innovation. – Yeah, yeah, and so, my point is, I sell a book to a publisher,
they sell it to Amazon, Amazon sells it to customers. That works as far as books
go, but the problem is, I’m two, three steps removed
from owning the relationship with the customer–
– Yeah, yeah, it sucks. – Which is the key thing. – [Gary] The only thing. – And that, so, with Daily
Stoic, it’s the email list, we sell products directly
to the consumers, the margins are better. But more importantly, like
when this book came out, I could send a flyer to 30,000 addresses in the U.S. like that, because
I control the relationship with people.
– My big reason for writing books, somebody
asked me the other day, is because I don’t want to be audacious in the way that I learn. – Okay.
– I can’t learn from reading this book. – [Ryan] Right. – Cannot, on the record. – Yeah, you’re not a book guy. – It’s just not how I know, I clearly have reading disabilities
that I’m not aware of, ’cause in the ’80s, we
didn’t really diagnose. But others learn, like,
it’s crazy to me that people send me emails that they’ve learned more in reading “Crushing It.” Literally, the email’s like, “Thank you for writing ‘Crushing It.’ “I’ve watched every video
you’ve ever put out, “but it was ‘Crushing
It’ that made me do,” and I’m like, “Motherfuck,
really, like, really?” And so, not being audacious on how one learns or consumes is such a framework of how I think about it. – Well, authors, (pen
clicks) I think we get this sort of target blindness, right? An author thinks, “I’m an
author, that’s what I make,” and then they’re like,
“so I don’t do podcasts, “or I don’t do emails”–
– That’s crazy, you’re a communicator!
– “or I don’t do social.” You sell ideas, and you gotta, and I think the huge thing,
there’s so many people now that are “reading” that
thought they didn’t like books, because it turns out they
don’t like reading books. They love audiobooks, they love
e-books, they love courses. They just didn’t think they like this. – Packaging matters. – Yeah, of course. I love this, this is what
I live and breathe for, but I can’t let my obsession–
– How many books do you read? – A lot, hundreds a year. But that’s what I do, that’s what I’m–
– Yeah, I remember that from another conversation, that’s cool. So, like, you constantly are, are you the kind that
reads three books at once, and you go back and forth? Or are you like, “All right,
I’m gonna read this book”? – I’m always reading one book, with a pen. Like, I was reading a book
in the car on the way here, and I’ll finish that tonight,
I’ll start another one, that’s me.
– It’s just so obvious to me how this all plays out. Like, literally, when you just said that, I was like, “Oh, man,
I would be in the car “reading 800 comments.” – Yeah, sure.
– It’s just so funny how everybody has, I
love that, I love that. Okay, so that’s it. So you just believe,
“Hey, I, myself, believe “that I’m good at synthesizing,
I’m good at hypothesizing, “I spent three fuckin’ years on this, “and for the people that
consume information this way, “this should crush for them.” – I think so, and then, what
I’ve taken from you is, like, “Okay, so my preferred medium is books. “I get the book out, now
I have to break the book “back down into podcasts,
videos, emails, social, “because I gotta reach
back out to the people “who consume in different mediums.” – What else can we educate people on about the subject matter
or any anecdotal stories or anything funny about the book? – So I think people think
stillness is meditating. I don’t meditate, it’s not who I am, I have too much energy,
it doesn’t work for me. And so people go, ’cause I don’t meditate. There’s so many other
ways to get to stillness. You can journal, I think everyone should take a walk every day, right? I think people should– – [Gary] Walking is boring as fuck. – Well, I do all my phone calls walking. I don’t sit in my office, I walk.
– I understand. – So I think you should do some form– – You know what I hate? Nature. (Ryan laughs)
I’ve come to realize– – You’ve gotta love nature, man! – [Gary] No, why? – Because there is, humans have evolved to have a connection with nature. – I don’t, no, no, no, I
respect the fuck out of nature. – But if you’re not in it, there are objective health benefits to experiencing things
that are green, that are not painted on a wall.
– Your iPhone Watch might be drilling cancer
into your arm right now. Thank you. Like, sure, but, like,
where I’m really going is, I don’t like, actually, I love nature. Let me change my mind. – [Ryan] Okay. (crew members laugh)
– I don’t like seeing things. – [Ryan] Okay. – I have this deep not-want to see, I don’t give a fuck about the Pyramids. I definitely don’t like beautiful trees in the Pacific Northwest,
that’s right at you, Caleb. I don’t care about, all
the fuckin’ New Yorkers go fuckin’ wild when the sunset goes down some fuckin’ avenue or street. I have an inherent
non-interest in seeing things. – Okay. – I like talking, too,
but laying in my bed with my AirPods is more
interesting than, like, if the walking people talk
about the health benefits of the steps, and that’s fine, a lot of people, I’m so happy, so many of my friends and relatives
love a good fuckin’ walk. – Mm-hm. – They just are walking down the beach, or walking on a nice little
trail, just genuine enjoy. My dad, if he sees a
fuckin’ skunk run across a fucking grassy knoll, my
dad loses his fuckin’ mind for a turkey popping up behind
a good-looking fuckin’ oak. (Ryan laughs) And I’m like, who gives a fuck? – But what is that for you? – Many things. I love watching people
interact with each other. – That’s where you get your energy– – [Gary] 100%. – Is connection, yeah.
– You know what blows my face off, I’ve come to realize? Kindness from others to others. – Okay.
– Something I realized recently is how excited I get when I see somebody do something. I watched, this actually happened, I watched, like, a young, thug-looking kid let an elderly woman cut him in a line at that McDonald’s at the Chicago airport. And if everybody knows
what I’m talking about, there’s that, (laughs) I love
that, yeah, I love travelers. There’s that one McDonald’s
that’s right in the middle, where you have to fuckin’,
like, so you know it. I was there, I got stuck, I
had a problem with a client, so I was like, I’m walking, which, I love walking in an
airport, ’cause I can watch people be nice to each
other, instead of a fucking, you know, fucking chipmunk. Like, my dad sees a chipmunk
run across, like, the ground, and he’s like, “Look, look!” I’m like, “What?” Anyway, nonetheless, (Ryan
laughs) I watch the kid, thug life, thug-looking kid, and I think, you know, I love thug life,
so this was a thug-looking, and say, “Ma’am, why don’t you cut me?” And I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been fuckin’ a hundred days. – [Ryan] Yeah, that’s the best. – That’s what I like. – [Ryan] Okay. – I like watching people do
the right thing by people. – [Ryan] Okay. – I don’t get enjoyment out of stuff. Like, I don’t know why– – (laughs) Stuff. – There’s literally a website, I don’t know if the URL expired, Dustin, take a look. I think it’s GaryVeeHate– – [Dustin] – – [Dustin] It’s still there. – Yeah, yeah, I hate ’em. (clicks pen) – Do you have any hobbies? – Yes. I love to garage sale. – Yeah, I know that, but
is that a hobby for you, or is that just another
extension of what you already do? – It’s another extension
of what I already do. – So after– – [Gary] I like the Jets,
I like watching the Jets. – Sports is your hobby. So, after the Second World
War, Churchill wrote a book, which you would not expect. I would say Churchill’s the busiest– – [Gary] You love this fucker. – Most successful man of the 21st century. – Do you know that we’ve
hung out five or four times– – We never talked about Churchill! What are you talking about? – I’m being dead fuckin’ serious, when we sat–
– No way! – You ready? When we sat in the fuckin’ theater– – [Ryan] At Summit? – At Summit, you brought up Churchill. – Did I? – [Gary] Yes, you did, I’ll tell. – All right, I’m a nerd. – [Gary] But nonetheless, go ahead. (crew member laughs)
– He writes a book called “Painting as a Pastime,” and it’s a book about
the power of hobbies. And he says that the most important thing that a busy, powerful person can have, he says you gotta have
at least one or two, or maybe three, hobbies. Because you exhaust your mind doing the thing that you do–
– Couldn’t agree more. – And you have to have
an outlet for the energy, ’cause that’s what makes you great, but it has to be different. – You know what’s funny about that? It’s why I am so obviously
a huge sports fan. I have no control, and I’m completely, I’m the Bizarro version
of myself as a sports fan. I’m emotional. 94.7% of my fights on Twitter have been with Patriot fans, 94.7. – There’s also nothing else you would do that takes four hours for yourself– – [Gary] Correct. – Other than go to a Jets game. – It’s the complete reset of my life. – [Ryan] Yeah. – That Sunday resets everything. All 8,437 issues mean nothing
to me during those four hours. – Sure, I think golf is
actually, I don’t like golf, but I actually get it,
’cause it’s the only excuse that a CEO has to be gone– – I see it all the time.
– Out of the office for four hours.
– That’s right. – It makes sense. And so you gotta, I
think people think like– – I think music does it for people. I think video games do it. I mean, I see it all the time. – You gotta have your
thing, and you gotta realize that that thing is actually
helping you be better at your main thing.
– And the extension of what I already do, I would
argue, when I really break down garage sale-ing,
it isn’t, now that I’m going back and forth, the
thrill of rolling up on a street with a fluorescent sign and
not knowing what’s about to be in that person’s yard, knowing
that I might find a 1954 Green Lantern cereal box,
the thrill of the hunt. – [Ryan] Mm-hm. My process, like, I
wanna try to buy the Jets more than I actually wanna own them. Like the “thrill of the hunt” is my high. – Yeah, I don’t think actually owning the Jets would be that fun. I think it’s the– – Well, it’s gonna be super fun when I beat the fuck outta the Patriots, Ryan! – Yeah, of course, I’m sure you will. – [Gary] What else about the book? – I got something for you. Are we wrapping up? – [Gary] Yeah. – So, I was telling you about doing– – DRock, Zach, you’re on Instagram Live? – [Crew Member] Mm-hm. – All right, Zach, you’re looking at me? Thank you. Put in your
phone number right now. We’re about to call
one of you (clicks pen) to answer a question. So start throwing your phone numbers out, I’m gonna have Zach pin
one and then read it to me, and we’ll call you in a minute or two. – I got you the coin last
time, and I thought you– – [Gary] I know. – And I thought you’d like this. This is what I wear, it’s a signet ring. (ring clanks) It’s the same thing, memento mori, your favorite words,
“Remember you will die.” – I love this about you. – Yeah, and then on the inside,
it’s from Marcus Aurelius, it says, “You could leave life right now.” And the idea is, this could
be the last conversation, this could be the last
day you show up to work, it could be the last
garage sale you go to, it could be your last Jets game. And so, this idea of, like,
let’s fuckin’ do it, then, let’s be actually present–
– I genuinely believe in that shit. – Me too. – I believe in that shit the most. – People think thinking of
your mortality is morbid, but I think it’s the way
you embrace life fully. – I think about it every day. – Here’s a crazy one, so this– – [Gary] Genuinely, for real. – The Stoics say when you tuck
your kids into bed at night, like, this is crazy, I
get it’s controversial, you go, “They might not
be here in the morning.” – [Gary] I think about it every day. – I do too. – I think about every single
day having a massive tragedy. – [Ryan] Mm-hm. – I think about, very often,
my wife and kids in a car, getting a tree landing on them and killing them all in one shot. – And what does that, what do
you do with that information? – I act as if. – Yes, yes! So you don’t hold on– – Now, wait, that doesn’t
mean I’m, like, walking around and looking at them every minute. I fuckin’ work all the time! – Right.
– It means that I act as if, at the macro. – [Ryan] Yes. – I’m grateful. It leads to gratitude. – Totally, and it means, “Oh,
I don’t need to rush this, “I don’t need to rush through this “trying to get to my phone.” – Is there a theory, or is there tactical, or is it a mix of the two?
– [Ryan] Both. – Yeah. – [Ryan] Yeah. – And is that important
to you, based on the way, like, I think a lot about that for me. – I think way too many books are like, “Here’s an idea, figure it out.” – [Gary] Right. – And that, you gotta give an idea, and then you gotta tell people
how to make that idea real. – Something I’ve been
really trying to push is, “Watch what I’m doing.” I’m not necessarily
gonna make a white paper, that’s not my skill.
– That’s true, true. – And though we have done well, we put out a video
recently, we did a deck, I really want people to
watch, it’s so right there! – [Ryan] Yeah. – It’s right there! Just, why did I post that? – [Ryan] (laughs) Right. – [Gary] Like, why? – Sure, sure. – [Gary] Nothing is by accident. – Yeah. – [Gary] I’m not like,
“Oh, fuckin’ TikTok.” – Well, I think people do, they’re like, “Gimme the one-, two-, three-step plan to do this.”
– I hate that shit! – And it’s like, if it was that easy, there’d be no value in it.
– Everybody would do it! Fuck!
– Yes, of course. – All right, Zach. (dial tone) – [Zach] 774– (keypad beeps) – [Nate] Hello? – Nate? – [Nate] What’s up? – What’s up? You’re on the podcast with Ryan Holiday. – Hey, man. – [Nate] Awesome, how are you guys? – We’re doing well, how are you? – [Nate] I’m good, I’m good. – What’s your question? – [Nate] What’s my question? Oh, I got many, man. So I’m actually, I’m good
friends with Roman Atwood, but I have a question on playing
video games for a living. So I kinda (mumbles)
that now, trying to bring it up there again, been doing
it for the past few years, and I just wanna see your take on that. – Ryan? – [Ryan] Take on what? – The take is on, thanks
for calling, brother. The take is, what do you think about playing video games for a living? – I mean, if you’re great at– – [Gary] Another phone call. – Yeah. (laughs) – [Gary] Soon-to-be-fired phone guy. (crew members laugh)
Go ahead. – Look, I think if it’s what you feel like you were put on this planet to do, I think it’s a great
thing to do for a living. I just think oftentimes,
people are attracted to things like sports or
video games or writing ’cause they think it’s easy. (Gary laughs)
And the point is like– – [Gary] And fun! – Yeah, the point is, actually– – [Gary] It’s ridiculously hard. – It’s not only ridiculously hard, but it’s so hard, only a very few amount of people get to do it, right? So unless you really were
put on this planet to do it and you have a deep,
burning drive to do it, it’s not gonna happen. – The utter non-conversation around talent is fascinating to me. – [Ryan] Sure, yeah. – Because it’s crippling,
right, looking at somebody and saying, we’ve, what do
you think about entitlement? – I think it’s awful. Like, look, I hear from people that go, “I think about writing
a book,” and I’m like, “Okay, don’t,” you know what I mean? (Gary laughs) It’s like “I have to write this book. “If I don’t, it will
be physically painful.” That’s a reason to write a book, right? It’s like, “I have to start this company “because I’m so angry that x
is the current status quo.” You gotta have a reason. – Why do you think so many people live their lives so deeply in need of affirmation of others,
including strangers? – Well, I think
evolutionarily, we need it, nobody wants to be outside of the tribe. But people, I think a lot of this is like, “Look, I think if I’m successful, “my parents will like me. “If I have lots of Twitter
followers, I can get Dad’s love.” You know, I think a lot of it’s a childhood thing–
– Or the girl, or the guy, or– – Yeah, you’re trying to
re-create where they were in high school, or it’s
some childhood thing they’re recapturing, which is
a bad reason to do anything. – What’s up, AJ?
– [AJ] Oh, just saying hi. – Awesome, did you speak to Ryan yet? – [AJ] No, I don’t think we did. – Good, okay, good. – [Ryan] Hey, man, how are you doing? – Hey.
– AJ Vee just walked in for a podcast piece. Anything good on VaynerSports, AJ Vee? – [AJ] We got some workouts
tomorrow for our guys. – There we go, putting in work. – Yeah.
– I love it. – [AJ] Yeah. – (laughs) I want you to speak
to AJ real quick, ’cause– – [Ryan] Of course. – Yeah, yeah, I’m just,
there’s so much interesting shit going on, bro. – [Ryan] Of course. – I’m so tired of judgment. – [Ryan] I just, like, so–
– People’s ability to, judgment is on tilt right now. – I was–
– People are obsessed with judging. – I was at Stand Up New York
with James Altucher last night, and I said something about
Trump, and this woman got up and she was like, “I don’t think it’s fair “that you’re doing this.” I’m
not gonna make a Trump thing. What I was so surprised
by is that she gave a shit about my opinion. I was like, “If you were up here, “and you were saying
something that I disagreed “with politically, you know
what I would think about it? “Nothing, because I
don’t care what you do, and I don’t care why.” I don’t get people who are upset about Le’Veon Bell’s contract negotiation. It’s like, it’s his life,
you know what I mean? People have these super strong opinions about things that don’t affect them because it’s a way of not
having to look in the mirror about your own shit.
– Politics is the one place that people make a
connection point that, A, this person has control. – [Ryan] Yeah. – You know, Le’Veon Bell,
to your point, right, that’s why that gets to the most extreme. – [Ryan] Yeah. – Right, because people
do think it has control, people do think there’s collateral damage. – [Ryan] Yeah. – You know, and I have empathy for that. I think your point’s taken,
though, where you’re taking it. We’re just judging. (laughs) Listen, in the
history of the human race, anger and digging your heels
in has never been a solution, and we’re just fuckin’ pulling apart on every fuckin’ issue– – Oh, it’s a terrible strategy. When you actually look at
people who have created profound change, it’s always– – Love, empathy.
– From a place of empathy, love, and they don’t go, “Look how awful “these people”–
–! – (laughs) They don’t go, “Look
how awful these people are, “look how terrible things are,” they go, “These are the principles we all share. “Let’s live up to them together.” – “And here’s how you
might have gotten there, “and here’s how I’ve gotten here, “and let’s joust on that.” – [Ryan] Yes. – Not, “You’re a piece of shit.” – Right, “You’re
irredeemable, you’re awful.” Because you can’t come back from that. – Basically, 98% of America is saying you’re either a Communist or a racist. – [Ryan] Yes. – Which is just not true.
– [Ryan] Yeah, of course not. – Of 98%. – And once you call someone that, or once you put, how do you come back from that?
– It’s game over, you don’t come back from it.
– [Ryan] Yeah. – You know, it’s always good to see you. – [Ryan] Amazing, thanks for everything.
– Appreciate it. Yo, you have a phone number?
– [Zach] You want another one? – Yeah, let’s sneak one more in. – [Zach] 321– – 321?
(dial tone) (keypad beeps)
– [Zach] 301– (keypad beeps)
– 301. – [Zach] 2348.
(keypad beeps) I didn’t know what the 321 area code was. – What is the 321 area code?
– [Zach] I got another one. – Anyone, anyone? The comments
are gonna come in right now. Who’s the 321? Fuck, if I was– – [Zach] Dee Castro. – If I was fuckin’ born in 321, that would definitely be my, like– – [Dee] Hello, hello, hello, hello! – Hello, Dee, how are you? – [Dee] I am awesome! First, I’m sorry, ’cause I gotta tell you how awesome you are, bro. Like, I know you probably get
tired of hearing that all day. – I wanna hear it all day! That’s all my behavior. I’m only living for that! – [Dee] I’m the perfect
person to tell you, (Gary chuckles)
because you’re amazing, you’re ridiculous. – Thank you. – [Dee] You just shoot these ideas, and it’s like, look, I
don’t know if it’s for you, but it might be, you know what I’m saying? So you shoot these
ideas, and it’s up to us as a people to capture it,
and see if that idea’s free. – I appreciate it, please say– – [Dee] You’re awesome. – Please say hello to Ryan. – [Dee] Hello, Ryan! What’s going on?
– Hi. – [Dee] How are you doing, Ryan? You’re sitting down
with a very cool person. – All right.
(Gary laughs) What’s your question? (laughs) – [Dee] So this has been in your book, but is there a way, like– – To get it for free? – Is there audio–
– Yes, you can pirate it off all the sites. – [Dee] At reading. – Dee, so why don’t you go audio? – [Dee] Do they have it in audio? – Of course, of course, it’s like 30% of the market at this point. – [Dee] ‘Cause that’s what’s
up, that’s how I read my books, like, that’s how I capture my
information, reading for you– – [Ryan] Good, whatever works. – [Dee] Right? – [Ryan] Yeah. – 100%, Dee. Dee, where, Dee, real quick. Dee, right? – [Dee] Uh-huh. – Dee, where’s the 321 area code? Where is that number from? – [Dee] We’re from Orlando, and Gary, we about to do something phenomenal, and we want you to be a part of it. – Well, then, email me,
it’s [email protected] – [Dee] I have, I sent you–
– Well, do it again! – [Dee] An email! – If you give up after emailing me– – [Dee] I didn’t! – How many? Dee, I’m gonna look, Dee. Don’t lie, because I’m gonna
put you on fuckin’ blast. – [Dee] Yeah, you put me on blast! Check your Instagram
messages, check your Twitters, (Gary laughs)
check everything– – I love it! – [Dee] You posted in the last week, I guarantee it’ll be there! – I– – [Dee] Guarantee, go check my page. I put you, I think everything
I posted, I made sure, even if it’s not about you,
I make sure I post you on it. I mean, you’re gonna be like that– – You’re trying to hack me, Dee! You’re tagging me on
shit that isn’t even– – [Dee] I did not hack you! I didn’t hack you!
(Gary laughs and claps) Listen, we’re doing the 366 campaign. I know you know what that means. – All year? – [Dee] You don’t know what that means? (Ryan mumbles)
– No, I’m listening, educate me. – [Dee] Two years ago,
two years ago, you said– – Oh, Dee, I do know who you are! Dee, I know exactly who you are! You mean when I’m talking about putting out a song every single day? – [Dee] Yes, we’re doing that 2020– – Dee, Dee, Dee, hold on! Dee, let me get in here,
let me get in here, Dee! (Ryan laughs)
Let me get in here! I have good news for you. I actually know exactly who you are! Your photo is a real up-close, like, your content has your face real up-close– – [Dee] Yes, yes! – I’m listening. I’m listening, Caleb. – [Dee] You see? I’m doing my best! – No, no, not only are
you doing your best– – [Dee] I’m hungry, and we gonna do this. 2020 is the year, I’m telling you. – All right, Dee, you’re gonna have to answer a very important question, and this is now the moment, right? Because you’ve got through to this call, I don’t know how you tricked Zach. You’ve done such a good job that I know exactly who you are, so think about that– – [Ryan] Now you’ve gotta deliver. – Here is the moment. This is going to be the
variable if it happens or not. Be very thoughtful here. Are you an Orlando Magic fan? – [Dee] Listen, I’m gonna
be completely honest, I am not. (laughs) – That’s good. Now, step two of this game. Who do you like? – [Dee] Gary Vee! (Gary, Ryan and crew laugh) You are, now! (laughs) – Alex, have me call this
crazy woman tomorrow. Zach’ll give you the number. Dee, I’m gonna speak to you tomorrow. I fuckin’ love you. – [Dee] I love you too, Gary, for real, I look forward to working
with you, I swear, man. – Me too. Thanks, Dee. Well, that was an interesting
way to end this episode. Good job, Zach.
– That was amazing. – That was amazing. Ryan,
thanks for being on the show. Everybody who’s watching,
and more importantly, everybody who’s now listening, and I’m sure somebody’s listening to this two and a half years after this came out, I think one of the things
that I admire about Ryan is just his fuckin’ brain,
that’s just the truth. And what I know about that,
that means, without knowing, and this is like the only
co-signs I’ve ever given books, if you read, the seven or
10 times I’ve ever done it, I’m saying it about the
person, not the book, ’cause I’ll never read the book. What I can guarantee you is,
if you’re listening to this on April 17th, 2094, you should go pick up the whatever version of how you consume communication at that point in the world– – It’s a pill then, yeah. (laughs) – (laughs) Yeah, please swallow the pill, it’s called the “Stillness Is the Key.” (Gary and crew laugh) See ya. Ryan, thanks for being on.
– Thanks.

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