Give my 11 year old a smartphone? Seth Godin Podcast DAY 022 TightwadDad Neil Mossey

Give my 11 year old a smartphone? Seth Godin Podcast DAY 022 TightwadDad Neil Mossey


[MUSIC]
Hello I’m Neil This is the Tightwad Dad vlog – it’s day 22
– all the twos… [Music]
[Music] So day 22
Look I read somewhere that that it takes 21 days to form a habit
I don’t feel like I’ve formed a habit yet with this daily vlog
Basically I show up every day here on YouTube to share with you the joy and the happiness
that we’re trying to find through my family’s wanton spending – all of us as a unit – and
I’m trying to share that happiness with you I hope it’s working for you
So twenty two days in – this was going to be a very very quick video because we only
spent on one thing today – just take a shot of it now we had a top-up shop in the big
chain supermarket. Put it down as a joy of ten. What’s not to like about reduced Chinese meals
and pretend Japanese sushi But there’s something else I wanted to share
with you because it happened a few weeks ago I listen just relentlessly to anything that
Seth Godin produces and he has a podcast it’s called the akimbo podcast
it’s brilliant I’ll put a link in the description below
But they they choose two questions every week I imagine that one or two people send in questions
I was shocked that mine was chosen and I wanted to share it with you because his answer I
think is beautiful And I’ll put words on the screen so you can
read along with them too Hi Seth, this is Neil Mossey calling from
Hampshire in the United Kingdom. Longtime listener first-time caller. I have a son and he’s 10 and in under a year
he’s going to go to high school. Big school. And we have a culture in the UK that that
is pretty much the time when we give our kids a smartphone. It’s under the pretext that they’ll need some
way of calling home if they get into trouble to and from school. But… I can’t help feeling as a Dad that I’m effectively
giving him the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes. And on the surface it looks like my options
are obvious. But I’m really curious Seth: What do you think
my options are at this stage? Am I helping him to effectively do the equivalent
of starting smoking? Or am I helping arm him to develop himself
in the Industrial Smartphone Complex? Really interested to hear your thoughts on
this, thanks again Seth. [LONG PAUSE]
SETH: This is such a poignant question and I really
appreciate you asking it. I guess I’d start with this. What is parenting for? That 12 year old, that 13 year old in your
house. What is your role in helping that person become
who they can become. Well one model which seems like the easy short-term
model is to help them fit in. To help them go all the way into the centre
of a gang of other 13 year olds. There’s enormous pressure on 13 year olds
to do this. The question we need to ask is does “fitting-in
the most” lead to the best life. To the happiest long-term outcome. Or is it okay to challenge our kids encourage
our kids and push our kids to not be the one who’s the lowest common denominator. To not be the one who fits in. To learn what it feels like to turn to people
and say: “No. I don’t want to do that.” Because without parents that’s really unlikely
to happen. So you’re probably guessing what my answer
is here. We know a lot about the efficacy of smartphones. We also know a lot about their side effects. It seems to me – and your mileage may vary
– that a kid who waits two years or three years longer than average to start diving
deep into the maelstrom of Instagram and Facebook and the rest of social media, probably comes
out ahead on the other side. I don’t know. No one knows for sure, but we do need to answer
the question: “This parenting I’m doing. What is it for?” Because if all you want to do is encourage
your kid to fit in, that’s the easy path. Thanks again for listening we’ll see you next
time. That’s lovely isn’t it. So that’s it if you’ve reached this point
in the vlog thank you why not leave me a thumbs up to let me know that someone reached this
point in the video That’ll be lovely
and if you haven’t done so already I’m very grateful for everyone who has subscribed because
each subscription takes me closer to that magic golden 1000 subscriptions
I guess that’s part of the social media addiction that er – that was talked about in the podcast. I’ve learned nothing at all
But what I have learned is that if I reach of thousand subscribers YouTube start paying
us some pennies so thank you for taking us closer to that
And I’ll see you on day 23 – tomorrow’s tightwad dad vlog
Can you please help my daddy get 1000 subscribers just click on his face
thanks bye! How’s that?

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