Friday Field Notes – 091 | A Crash Course in Confidence


you’re a man of action you live life to
the fullest embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path when life
knocks you down you get back up one more time every time you are not easily
deterred defeated rugged resilient that’s strong this is your life this is
who you are this is who you will become at the end of the day and after all is
said and done you can call yourself a man gentlemen what is going on today my
name is Ryan Michler and I am the host in the foundry this podcast the order of
man I want to welcome you to what I and thousands of men across the planet will
consider the best best podcast available for men we’re talking about all the
issues important you health relationships leadership confidence
which we’ll be talking about today business finances anything else that may
pertain to you as a man now today is our Friday field notes where you get to
listen to me for the next I don’t know 10 or 15 minutes or so but if you don’t
already know we also have an interview show where we are interviewing the
world’s most successful men on every front these are guys like Brett McKay Andy Frisella Jocko Willink Grant Cardone Aubrey Marcus and of course so many more so if
you haven’t already subscribed I would encourage you to go ahead and get that
taken care of right now just subscribe right now and if you
would please please while you’re there leave us an iTunes rating a review this
goes such a long way in helping us spread the mission of the order of men
which I know a lot of you know by now is to reclaim what it means to be a man in
a society that seems to have distorted it quite a bit and frankly just
dismissed it for far too long now I only have a couple of quick announcements
before I give you a crash course in confidence today first if you would make
sure that you get your ticket to the order of man meetup we’ve got six seats
left that’s it six seats left that’s gonna be held January 26 and 27 2018 so just
in the next couple of weeks here we’ve got 75 men coming in from all over the
country for brotherhood and camaraderie and the tools and the insights and the
resources were providing then of course the connections to help you on your
journey to become a better protector a better provider and a better presider
you can register for the event at order of mancom slash nashville but again do
it quickly since we only have those those six seats left
and the other announcement the book guys is hitting the shelves on February 1st
it’s titled sovereignty the battle for the hearts and minds of men and I could
not be more excited about the way this thing turned out my publisher sent it to
me the interior the exterior it’s it’s beautiful and I hope that the words
match the cover and the interior and the way it’s laid out and the design work
you guys are going to be proud to hold this book and of course the message
within the book itself there have been a handful of people who have read it and
I’m absolutely blown away I’m humbled with and by the feedback that we’ve
received so far and I know what’s going to change men’s lives which in turn will
change the lives of families and neighborhoods and businesses communities
so with that said if you are going to be at the meetup in Nashville you are going
to get a signed copy of the book before it’s even available to the public if not
you’re gonna have to wait a couple more days until it is available but in the
meantime head to order of man dot com slash book order of man dot com slash book to
download the introductory chapter and then you’ll be signed up to be notified
when the book is available all right enough of that let’s get into the
conversation today on the topic of confidence just so you know a lot of
these topics in conversations on the Friday field notes come from the
discussions happening inside the closed Facebook group which you can join at
facebook.com slash groups slash order of man now one topic that I see talked
about more than just about any other is that of building confidence it seems
that more and more men are lacking the confidence they desire in their lives I
think there’s a lot of reasons for this so today I thought I’d share with you
why we seem to be experiencing more of that and then of course give you some
very quick and actionable tips in order to develop confidence and of course the
results the results that stem from it more than anything guys we’ve got to
understand that you are not entitled to confidence I know you may think that you
know that but it’s amazing to me how many men seem to think that confidence
is something other people are just born with and that some men just inherently
have some level of confidence I think there’s probably some truth to that
some men are probably born with a predisposition to be more confident in
their lives but I believe the bigger variable the bigger variable here to
building and developing confidence is the ability to
take action despite your fear see it’s my belief that confidence is the natural
byproduct of action a lot of guys seem to think it’s the confidence that comes
first it’s not it’s courage in order to foster confidence in your life you need
to display courage to take action nothing more nothing less
you know men will ask how do I get more confident around women or how do I gain
confidence in my ability to start a business or ask for a promotion or take
calculated risks or just confidence in myself and the answer is that confidence
is earned it’s earned by taking part in the very activity that you lack
confidence in so if you want to gain confidence with women you need to spend
more time with women if you want to gain confidence in your ability to start a
business you need to start a business and ask for people to do business with
you it’s going to be awkward at first of course you’re going to look a little
foolish but remember the guys who have confidence have already gone through
that stage it’s a mistake to believe that they haven’t gone through that I
remember going into the gym for example the first time in probably five or six
years I still have the pictures to prove it in fact you know I was so hesitant to
go in because I knew I knew how bad it had gotten and I thought people were
going to laugh at me or think less of me or whatever lies whatever lies that I
have conjured up to keep myself comfortable to keep myself complacent
but I went anyways I put all that fear aside because what I wanted which was to
be in shape was more important to me at that point than the embarrassment of
stepping into the gym for the first time in years so you’ve got to ask yourself
how badly do you want it if the answer is I want it badly then you’ve got to be
willing to put that fear aside recognize that it’s going to be a little bit
uncomfortable maybe a lot uncomfortable and take pride in the fact that you did
it anyways and then that pride of overcoming what you resisted doing is
what Foster’s confidence in your ability to go back at it again tomorrow
and the next day and the next and the next the biggest hurdle I had to
overcome in my desire to be more confident was this
actual tendency that we all have to choose the easy path and not that doing
things the easy way is wrong but when you’re faced with two choices the status
quo or pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone the only way to build the
confidence you want is to choose choose to step outside of your comfort zone
don’t lie to yourself and think it should be easy or dismiss another man’s
confidence is something that guy just inherently has recognized that it’s hard
recognize that building confidence takes effort not just for you but for everyone
and face that reality then you consciously make a choice
one of the things I ask when I’m facing difficult work or circumstances is will
the action I’m about to take help me or hinder me on my path to become a better
man it’s a great question to ask yourself if you want a promotion ask
yourself if asking for that said promotion will help or hinder you if you
want to date ask yourself if asking for that date will help you or hinder you if
you want to be more confident with your fitness just ask yourself if going to
the gym is going to help or hinder you if you want to be more confident with
other people ask yourself if going to that networking event is going to help
you or hinder you then you act accordingly in spite of your uneasiness
and in spite of your fear gentlemen I know that it’s not easy I was not
confident in myself for a lot of years it’s not something where you can simply
flip a switch it takes years of effort it’s almost like that adage what came
first the chicken or the egg you may not have the confidence now but you don’t
need it right now you don’t need the confidence right now
what you need is courage courage the courage to act in spite of the feelings
that have been keeping you back for so long only when you’re courageous enough
to take bold action have you earned and have the right to that confidence that
comes with it so guys as I sign out today please if you would do this send
me a message tag me on instagram tag me on facebook or twitter with your post
about the things that you are doing to old more confidence in your life it’s
about doing it’s about the action of courage
I love seeing these success stories and watching you men do what is required of
you it’s inspiring to me and it goes a long way on my own personal journey to
become a better man now guys remember again as we wind down today six spots
left for the event in Nashville that’s on the 26th and 27th 2018 of this month
January you can get registered at order of man dot com slash Nashville and then
the book that will be available in a few weeks February first which you can get
the introductory chapter at order of man dot com slash book until next week gentlemen
take action build confidence and become the man you are meant to be thank you
for listening to the order of man podcast you’re ready to take charge of
your life to be more of the man you were meant to be we invite you to join the
order at order of man dot com

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