Here we go, next one. “Hey Bill, I asked for
advice a couple of months ago about a friend of mine whose girlfriend was having a kid and
I was suspicious about whether or not it was his, cause he had gone and gotten checked
twice to see if he could have kids and the doctors said “no”. Well about five months
into the pregnancy she miscarried. Now they are living together and he’s hanging on to
the relationship now through some sort of guilt because of the lost child. It just feels
like my friend got one pulled over on him and I really want to talk to him about it
but I can’t find a good way to do it. Dude, that is a brutal, brutal, brutal, brutal situation.
Those are impossible situations. Jesus Christ, how the fuck would I handle that? I would,
I would say something. You know what, I would. I would definitely say something. But I don’t
know how to do that. What the fuck am I saying. I’m saying “listen, you know I’m friends with
you and we’ve been friends a long time..” This is where you’re buddy knows something
fucked up is coming. “Listen, we’ve been friends a long time, right? Had a lot of good times,
right? You know, you know, you know that I’ve always been there for you and I never tried
to steer you wrong, right? I think your girlfriend is a two-timing #$%^$%.” Yeah, how do you
say that? See that’s a hard one too. That one, that kid you just fucking cried over,
that didn’t get born, I don’t think it was yours anyways. Ah, Jesus dude, this is fucking
brutal, brutal. Jesus, does it work to just say it – she’s a fucking whore. Alright? You
went to two fucking doctors and they said you can’t get pregnant dude, how dumb are
you. Get your head out of her fucking vagina. Leave her. Cry about it for fucking six weeks,
whatever you gotta do. Go join a fucking gym and get on with your fucking life. And start
wearing a condom. Alright? Now I know that team that we saw in the first half is not
the fucking team that I know! And we’ve got another 30 minutes of football and I want
you to get out there and prove to me that you can play, like the way I know you can
play! That’s what you do, you go ahead.. and there we go, took me a minute to work it out.
You go fucking Vince Lombardi. Grab, grab, grab, nobody tackling. She’s a fucking whore.
You gotta go like that, you gotta build up, you gotta start slow. You gotta start slow.
“In all my years looking at relationships I don’t think I have ever, in my life, seen
a woman, so pull the fucking wool of pubes over somebody’s fucking eyes, like I did in
that first half. You know what I saw out there? I saw bullshit! Tell that fucking kid he needs
to make some halftime adjustments, alright? Pull the ripcord, get the fuck out of that.
Jesus.. oogh, oh my God, oh fuck, what time is it? I gotta go, it’s 3:15, I gotta be down
at the fucking place by 4.