What are we doing pirate porn for Arrr Oh dear Barshens Cock a doodle doo Welcome to another Bars vs Hens, the second Bars vs Hens right? [Barry screams] [Barry has a hissy fit] For god’s sake this is — [Barry has a hissy fit again] [Barry does a mating call] We played Screwball Scramble I won, it was the greatest day of my life *Barry giggles* It still haunts me! The Big Mac smoothie was not a tasty thing! Next up is Pop-Up Pirate So we had a game of skill, now it’s a game of complete random chance Which gives me a good chance, at least a 50/50 chance This is some European Pop-Up Pirate, it’s apparently Pik Pirate Or popup piraaaaate piraaaatataeee asasaspsaspirates (???) And no E! Arr Language So the point of the game is this weird pirate guy What’s he doing with his hands there? That’s a bit of a worry Erm, what’s that around his mouth, is that a part of the eyepatch? It’s a beard patch, have you not got one of those? [Barry and Staurt talk over themselves] You put it on and it suddenly brings a beard down as well Never played Pop-Up Pirate myself but it is a very simple game You just shove swords into the barrel You try not to pierce the pirate with your stubby daggers Ah [Laughter in the studio] Stubby daggers, his new blues album is out next Thursday Yeah Stubby Daggers Stubby Daggers!! Get your daggers in the air! Woah, stubby! Erm, —
Shoulda been called pop up toaster I was thinkin’ beforehand Shoulda been called pop up toaster I was thinkin’ beforehand Oh, that’s good!
Shoulda been called pop up toaster I was thinkin’ beforehand This could be a toaster and you would stick forks in rather than swords And every single one you get an electric shock And so it would be an educational tool to teach kids not to shove forks into toasters So you get the final one, your toast pops up and then you eat it I didn’t really think of it being edible toast but that’s alright And the electrocution as well? No, you would just use a real toaster at home. Let us know down below! Aaah!
Let us know down below! Oh God, Barry’s got tupperware Barry’s got tupperware! [laughs] Who’s got tupperware? I think it’s Barry here Tupperware time Today’s forfeit– so last time was the big mac smoothie, I found a link online, you know how sometime we do unusal combinations that taste quite nice? I do This is an oreo and ham sandwich What like the choclatey biscuit Yeah! And ham? yeah It’s an oreo and ham sandwich So you got buttered white bread It’s a really good quality ham in there actually smoked ham and oreos And a lot of people like this I see, then again A lot of people liked batman vs superman but that doesn’t make them right You didn’t have to eat it did you I did like the taste of that movie Aww, I’ve got a bit of batman stuck in my teeth, aww Right Let’s play this bloody game then Barry VS BARS VS Bars and hens noise So has he got a name? Pirate [laughter] Okay I shall call thee Pirate For that is what ye be arr Right So you gonna go first there with your sword? Yarr Me goin first with my yellow stubby dagger Put your stubby dagger into me barrel then [giggles] What are we doin pirate porn for Rrrrrr Oh dear Auuuughhh No, you gotta push it right in ALL THE WAY IN OOOOOH Arr I’m not really picking which ones are going in, because it’s entirely random I’m not playing deal or no deal where they pretend they’ve got magic powers This being the banker – “yeah, go for the bottom left” Umm okay Insert my daggarrrr Oooo What if you got a bloody black eye off popup pirate How fast does he ejaculate? Does he go quite high or… What? What? [Barry tries to regain his dignity] I think you’re looking for the word eject Eruumm How fast does he ejectulate? Quite a violet reaction though WOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA So the sandwich is edging closer to Stuart’s side, it’s best of 3 And I’ve nicked the first one *Dramatic music plays* I’ll choose the blue sword first Auuuughhh [heartbeat noises] nnnNNEOh dear I’m going straight in ooOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH It’s all over! It’s all over!!
ooOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Lunch is served! Oh great Smells great How’s it taste? A lot of people said amazing, a lot of people said hell You know the people who said they’re amazing? They’re imbeciles Next time on Barshens: Eli talks about Noodles Hello. I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for a very long time. I love noodles. Uh, instant ones in particular. They’re known as ramen noodles in the states, where they’re associated with university dormitories And the temporary poorness that students go through during that time Y’know they’re associated with poverty and I think we need to change this Here, they’re known as Instant Noodles. It’s a much more descriptive term, And I think one that needs to be applied. Because there are all sorts of different types and styles of instant noodles Not just ramen. Ramen is just one noodle style, out of many – MANY BUT Just to get the ball rolling on this, I’d like to talk about a recent discovery NISSIN, which is the original instant noodle The first manufacturers of instant noodles, in the west anyways Have a great range. And the tonkotsu roman (???) with a little sacshce (???!!!??) black garlic oil is topping my list of top noodles for this week. Well, for every week this year. Wow that’s delicious. Boil an egg in it (???????!?!?!?!?!?!) Pimp that noodle. People go “Ohhh, it’s boring it’s poor peoples food” You got no imagination Yeah, just get your scallians, your spring onions in there (When will this end?) Tin sweet corn, some kind of tin fish Dunno, it’s up to you, maybe you don’t like fish Eli rambles on about noodles Eli’s voice starts to fade out because even the editor of the video is sick of his noodle ramble Eli’s voice becomes a faint cry in the distance Thanks for nothing Eli