Bars vs Hens #1 – Screwball Scramble | Barshens

Bars vs Hens #1 – Screwball Scramble | Barshens


Hi, I’m Tricky Billie-Ball Golf. Welcome to my erotic film. Barshens! Well, hello there. And welcome… to the very first Bars Bars versus Hens …and together… See, that’s the the T-shirts mean Bars, Hens Barshens. Barshens. Yes, this is the first of Bars vs Hens. It is. Where me and Barry will take on a physical game challenge/situation and see who is the victor. And there are horrifying punishments for the loser. There is, and this one’s a bit of a beauty. We’re going with Screwball Scramble… Aaaah. …today. A classic game. Did you have this when you were young? I didn’t. BARRY: But…
STUART: I did. Oh, you did? I had this in the late ’80’s, I believe. It was a different colour back then… …more brown. Ehm, but I got very very good at it. I don’t know if I still have the muscle memory or the, uh… capability to do it, but we shall see. Well, I got this for Christmas two years a-, not three, two years ago. And, I was so, like, excited to have it. It was kind of Operation as a child as I was growing up. It was one of those games I really really wanted to have but I never got it. Got it Christmas day, played it for five minutes, got so frustrated I wanted to throw it out the window. Right. BARRY: {unintelligible}
ASHENS: This one’s in the bag! BARRY: Yeah, so basically, we’re gonna play Screwball Scramble…
ASHENS: {laughing} …also known as Tricky- Tricky Billie-Ball Golf Tricky Billie-Ball Golf. Yeah. Hi, I’m Tricky Billie-Ball Golf. Welcome to my erotic film. Uh, oh yes… …off-camera, Producer Paul told us that there was a film he might of watched in that genre called Tricky Billie-Ball Golf, was it? PAUL: Watched/maybe produced… PAUL: {unintelligible}
BARSHENS: {laughing} BARRY: Yeah yeah So uh, we’ll leave the link down below if you want to check that one out. Uh, you have a metal sphere… …which gets placed here. STUART: Or as we call it in the trade: a ball. BARRY: Yes. Yep, and the idea is by using these controls here… …you manipulate the course in order to make the ball go along… …and get to the end and ring the bell. Whoever has to the shortest time in the end is the winner. However, there is a ten-second penalty for coming off the track. There is a forfeit as well for the loser. Mmm. Last night I went to McDonald’s… {Lovely transition sound} I’m here at the golden arches. Uhm, McDonald’s. I’m really tempted to order more than what I need to, but I’m gonna get a Big Mac and a chocolate milkshake… …for a smoothie forfeit. Hi, can I have a Big Mac and a medium chocolate milkshake, please? Think it’s gonna work now? Okay. Big Mac… Just poured the chocolate milkshake in there. Oh gosh. Yeah, that’s good. Alrighty. {BLENDER NOISES} {Barry giggling} Oh, wow. There’s a stray bit of lettuce on the side. {Barry giggling more} Boston, I’m taking that to London, alright? Cheers, mate. {Lovely transition sound again} I’ve got to say… Barry, you’ve brought this on the train from Western to London… It was heavily sealed. Rice-packed. It’s.. It’s got warm, and it’s kind of beef and all the things that bacteria need to grow, like sugar and milk and stuff, right… Well, in a living thing, that’s one way of looking at it; it helping the bacteria nourish really in 20 year-old Hot Dogs, remember? If you lo- when you lose this, ’cause frankly I think I’ve got the upper… Oh…. Barry: O god, {giggling} …hand on this one. Only a small bit. BARRY: On the Google floor! STUART: Strong start. BARRY: No! Is that a ten-second penalty? Oh yes. {Stuart laughing} STUART: {starts mimicking a part of the Entrance of the Gladiators} STUART: Oh yeah. BARRY: Augh! STUART: I’m getting a bit scared! {Stuart laughing} STUART: {mocking} Mother! Mother! He’s losing his temper, mother! Two years ago, when I through it out. BARRY: I did not get past this thing… BARRY: …so this could be the extended edition if you’re watching. STUART: Oh my goodness. STUART: Ha! STUART: This is frustrating me just watching it! ANNOUNCER: One minute, ten seconds. BARRY: Okay. BARRY: I feel like this is a strong time. BARRY: I need to get some, like, momentum… BARRY: …there we go… BARRY: …oh STUART: Right, that’s- that is a thirty-second penalty for having to skip one. STUART: Ready? STUART: Please fall back. BARSHENS: Oh! BARRY: Pretty much done it now… BARRY: Right, we swing this around? STUART: Yep. STUART: Oooh ooh ooh oooh ooh… STUART: Oh ho ho! STUART: Very good. STUART: Now you’re on the unstable table, I remember the name of that bit. BARRY: Unsta-, is that the actual… Yep. The unstable table. BARRY: Come on now. STUART: Oooh yes. I’ve been never this nervous since child birth. Not that I… my wife was child pregnant We’re learning things today, Barry. STUART: Ooh, very good. STUART: Oohhhhhhh… Ten seconds. BARRY: Let it settle…. Right… STUART: Ooh. BARRY: {orgasms}
STUART: Perfect! Now, into the maze of doom. Please don’t lose where it is. STUART: Oh, I think I can actually remember how that bit goes, actually. BARRY: I don’t know where it is! STUART: Nine hours later… This is going on like this: do do do… STUART: Yeah…You don’t want to get it stuck in the left-hand corner… STUART: With the big X BARRY: Aw, my gosh! oops… wrong button, (erm) {Groans} STUART: Go on, go for the red thing. ANNOUNCER: Three minutes. Oh, I’ll put it back on… Three minutes! That’s a good time. STUART: For me it is. STUART: Hey. BARSHENS: Oooh no! I lost me marble under the sofa! Barry’s finally lost his marbles. BARRY: That was emotional! ANNOUNCER: Packed all together… ANNOUNCER: Four minutes, forty-nine seconds. Strong time. Thoughts? {Intake of breath} Sigh How do you feel about milkshakes and Big Macs in general? Better start like them, hadn’t I? What the?! No way! BARRY: {Giggles} No…. BARSHENS: Auuugh! See, this time? Yeah, I’m stronger than I was when I was eight, probably. STUART: I hope so. STUART: Oh blumfluffs. BARRY: That’s twenty-seconds penalty. STUART: It is. BARRY: Oh, did you just leap the whole thing!? STUART: Yep. BARRY: Whoh! STUART: I’m pressing this too hard. ANNOUNCER: Now, it took you four minutes to do this, Barry. BARRY: Yeah, this is the hardest bit, right? STUART: No… come on. STUART: D’auuuugh. Barry: I can still do it.. Ashens: {groaning} No… I can’t….. Barry: hand ball! STUART: Me little billie-ball’s stuck! STUART: Right. BARRY: Right, this is the hardest bit, is it? STUART: Oooooh… Again, too hard. BARSHENS: Ooohhh! BARSHENS: Noo! BARRY: Oh yes!
STUART: No! No! ANNOUNCER: Time stopped BARRY: That’s close. ANNOUNCER: You have… ANNOUNCER: Two minutes, thirty-six seconds. ANNOUNCER: So, let’s just calculate who won. {laughing} Yeah. BARRY: I mean, the winner of Screwball Scramble right… BARRY: Uhm… BARRY: Aw dear.. Okay. OFF-CAMERA BLOKE: Augh! It’s not even moving! {laughing} It’s solid! It’s like… okay, it takes a while. We might need a spoon. No, he’s gonna… {off-camera laughing} Aw, god! I feel better now for all those Jell-O things you made me eat recently. It tastes like sweet compost. Aw. Want some? Next time on Barshens… Symbalism! We need to have a talk, Barry. Why? {Static}

100 thoughts on “Bars vs Hens #1 – Screwball Scramble | Barshens

  1. Maybe play Tank Command for an episode and every time one looses a tank they get shot with a paintball gun

  2. Wait, i actually had this! It came to Poland in the late 90s or so. But yeah, i was a different colour and we have lost the box an the ball somewhere.

  3. I want both of those shirts please. Not the ones you guys are wearing – but copies of those that preferably are unworn. Mens' XL please.

  4. If skipping was 30 sec penalty ashens could have just moved the ball to the end and still won.But that wouldnt have been much fun.

  5. When I was in the Navy I had a friend who broke his Jaw and had it wired shut while he healed. He would drink at least one of these a week…

  6. Damn you Barry and Ashens, I wanted that Film Link to work in the discription. Now I have to do my own 'academic research'

  7. How has this channel not got at least half the subscribers of Lord Ashen himself? I love these two, every video makes me laugh. xD

  8. This was called Run Yourself Ragged in the US in the early 80's. Super fun, and been out of production for years

  9. oh my god I had this game at one point. it was found in a garage sale and it was missing peices…and missing the ball.

  10. British Big Macs look bigger than American Big Macs…and that's depressing… Yours look like they use quarter pounder buns and patties. Ours look like they use kids burger buns and patties.

  11. I have a game suggestion. Candyland, but with various sweeties, some good, some bad, for the spaces. Play until all spaces have been cleared, if you get a double you have to eat both sweeties together.

  12. I've been trying to find a game like this for ages but I've come up completely empty. It was themed like a horror castle and you were trying to get your steel ball to "escape". It was a squat plastic tower. My grandma had it but I sadly think it's long gone. Can anyone help me out?

  13. You should advertise this channel more, it's so good yet I never knew about it even though I had
    ve watched both myvirginkitchen and ashens for years

  14. I love how they put "erotic film link" in the description and it leads to the 12 hot dogs because he waved them infront of the camera in an erotic fashion. Marvelous.

  15. wait!!!!! they skilled one of the rules of the game!!!! you are supposed to go to the part indicated along the bottom when the ball falls into it!

  16. It’s beautiful watching this knowing that Barry is gonna be corrupted by Eli and co so soon in the Barshens lifespan…

  17. The first obstacle has the steepest learning curve, moreso than the plinketto one (the yellow part). However, once you figure out how to manipulate the button properly, it becomes much more obvious how to get past it cleanly.

  18. For some reason, the music that plays whilst Barry is making his screwball scramble attempt really reminds me of that music from the Harry Potter PS1 games when you have to race against the clock to reach your magic class. Anyone else?

    Edit: I found the harry potter music I mentioned! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L46h87uOtT8

    It does have some musical similarity, with long sustained notes and an alternating single-tone key change throughout 🙂

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