#AskGaryVee 324 | Lilly Singh


– [Gary] You got LinkedIn going on? – [Man] Mm-hmm. – [Gary] Cool. – [Man] I’ve got Instagram and YouTube. – Awesome. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 324 of the “#AskGaryVee Show”. This is an exciting one,
because world’s collide, and it’s a special, special day. So everybody watching on livestream, I know this will get posted
probably a day later, but if you’re watching live tonight, 10 p.m. on YouTube and 1:30
in the morning if you’re not. Lilly why don’t you tell
everybody what the big news is and a little bit about yourself. – [Lilly] For Sure. – So you take the floor
for the next three minutes. – Hi, my name name is Lilly Singh. I have exciting news. I am premiering my late night show, my NBC late night show called “A Little Late with Lilly Singh”. It’s after Seth Meyers, it’s 1:35 a.m., but like you mentioned because it’s a special day, it’s premiere, we’re streaming it on YouTube earlier than it premieres on TV at 10:30 p.m. EST. And it’s a whole thing. It’s a whole thing. It’s consumed my whole life
for the past couple of months. It’s a huge honor. It’s currently the only
woman on Network late night, so it’s a pretty big deal. – It is a very big deal. So let’s take it all the way back. How did this?
– [Lilly] Let’s do it. – First of all let’s take
it not all the way back, let’s take it kind of back to how did this even happen? – Well I got a phone call
saying, “Hey there’s a time slot “that NBC would love to offer you.” And I was like, “Wait, what?” And it took me a really long time to process this conversation
because I was like “They want me to host this
or they want me to be on it?” “Want you to host it.” “Like myself, like they
want it to be my show, “like replace Carson?” “No they want your own show.” “My own show.”
(Gary laughing) So there’s so many follow questions. – Is this your agent calling you? – This is my manager calling me? I’m at this point, I’ve been– – And where are? Paint me the picture,
where are you sitting? – Yeah, I’m gonna paint you the picture. This year, it’s been eight years of me making YouTube videos. I’ve done a gang of other things. I’ve released books. I’ve gone on tours. I’ve done lots of live performances. Never dabbled in the world
of traditional TV thus far. So I’m sitting in my office. I’m on my pink blush fabulous couch. It is fabulous, it’s velvet. It’s very cute. And I get a phone call. – [Gary] In LA? – In LA. – All right I’m just
going very deep with you. – No I like it. I was wearing a blazer. – [Gary] (laughing) Go ahead, really? – Probably sweats, but I’m
making it up so it’s a blazer. And my manager, Lilly calls and says, “Random thing, NBC wants to talk to you about a late night show.” And I remember being like, “Wait, what?” And so 30 minutes of
confusion, I was like, “Sure I’ll do the meeting to
find out more information.” And I met with a group of — – [Gary] Executives. – White people. (laughing) And then they told me. They’re like we would
love you for this show and I’m not gonna lie it was
a really cool opportunity, but I wanted to take a
beat to think about it, because committing to
something of that scale, it’s like a huge professional
and personal commitment to make honestly. – [Gary] Humongous. – Yeah, so I did like a month of research. I took a month to answer them. There’s two people in
particular I asked for advice. One was Hassan Mihaj and
one was Dwayne Johnson. Mostly because I have a
bad habit of asking people for advice who don’t know
what they’re talking about. And I wanted to not do that at this time. I’m always that person
that’s like asking people for relationship advice
and they’re single and sad and I’m like taking advice from them. Like this time I wanna ask
people that actually know what they’re talking about. – [Gary] Love. – So they gave me great
advice and they both encouraged me to go through with this. I think my number one concern was I didn’t wanna be
pigeonholed as a host. I have so many aspirations and– – And both of them are already in parts, Hassan is going into the next phase. The rock, Dwayne, I mean– – I mean he transcends everything. – But I really believe that
there is no pigeonholing if you’re willing to break
through doors and windows. – That’s exactly correct
and I think Dwayne said something that was so smart. He said, “If that was your concern, “you would have already been pigeonholed as the YouTube girl.”
– Correct, correct. – And that has never stopped you. So that’s what I needed to hear. I said yes and since then my
life has been a wild ride. (giggling) – I love it. That’s so awesome. So now let’s take it, actually I lied, I said I’m gonna take it all the way back, I’m actually going backwards. Let’s go to the part where you emerged into the consciousness that
led to this opportunity. When did you start producing
for the internet and why? – I started producing
for the internet in 2010. And it was because I was sad. Truly, that is the answer. I was in the last year of university, I was fulfilling a major
that I had no real passion. It was psychology. I have a psych degree. Mostly because that’s what my sister did. My parents wanted me to get a degree. As a kid I was so creative
whether it was baking, or dancing, or rapping. I loved creating and then
I think I was convinced whether it was my family
or society or what not, that that’s not a realistic
trajectory of life and so I was like okay, time to grow up and get a degree and get
a job and get married, and do this very linear life
that everybody wants me to do. So I went into a really
dark funk in the last year of my university career. Discovered YouTube, thought
it was weird as hell. I was like “Who are these
weirdos making videos in their rooms?” (laughing) But then eventually just uploaded a video that was very bad. It was a bad video. – [Gary] What was your first video? – It was a very awkward spoken word piece. I bought a new blazer. Again with the blazer. – [Gary] Jesus, you’re really
fucking about these blazers. – I like the blazer. I don’t have a good personality so my blazers make up for it. (Gary laughing)
– I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m great, no so I made this video. It was a spoken word piece. 70 people watched it and I was like, “I’m famous, I’m famous
now, 70 goddamn people.” But I just fell in love
with the idea of creating on my own terms. And it made me, it was
very symbol, I was sad, this made me happy. I decided to keep doing this
thing that made me happy. DRock in post production for this clip, can we please find the part of “Crush It!” that I wrote in 2008
that basically describes this exact scenario since
now I’m old and my thesis’s are now coming to life? Like I said this over, and over, that this is exactly
how it was gonna happen and literally tonight it happens. Somebody who created a YouTube video then hosts a late night show and that was impossible
to believe in 2008 or nine when the book came out. – So you manifested this for me basically? – I’m basically taking full
credit for your career. – Thank you, thank you, and you know what you get it.
– Just so you know. – You get it, there you go. – I don’t know if you read your contract, but there’s a 20% vig
you’re actually paying me. – [Lilly] Nice, that’s 20% of very little, what is it? – Listen, even less. Even less, so that happens. When do you start feeling it? When did something happen? Give me the moment where,
okay so that happens, that makes sense, then what
was the moment? (snapping) – Where I was “This might go somewhere?” – Or the first video
that kind of, yeah, yes. – So there was a trend
called “Things girls say.” Do you guys remember that trend? – [Gary] I do. – Okay so I made a “Stuff
Punjabi Mothers Say”. That was my first video
to hit a million views. Now I was thrilled. – Before you go there I apologize. Where were your videos coming
in at prior to that million? – Prior to that, so my first– – [Gary] Just for context. – Yeah my first video hit 10,000 views and that was probably my eighth video. So it took me around eight
videos to hit 10,000 views. – [Greg] Which is a lot. Which is a lot of views
for an eighth video. And by the way, I’m just
gonna jump in right now, for everybody listening. The thing that I talk about in
“Crush It!” still to this day and just to make this valuable
for everybody listening. And by the way, if you’re watching, LinkedIn, Facebook, put
your phone numbers up, and Katie here will be
grabbing the phone numbers. We’re gonna do some calls
before the show is over, so like you can see where
the themes are going here. I know a lot of this audience is gonna have questions for Lilly. I think one thing that needs
to be talked about is talent. Like even the way you
delivered, “I’m awesome,” when you were saying the blazer thing, like talent is a real equation. Like there are people who
are gonna get 10,000 views on their eighth video who are
exactly the people that go on to do other things. There’s a very fine line for
everybody of like perseverance. You know there’s plenty of people who gave up making YouTube videos, one video short of when it was gonna turn. So this is, there’s no linear answer, or binary answer to this, but I do think that it makes sense to me that that happened for you. – [Lilly] Thank you. – Okay so you have the 10,000 video, on the eighth one, so you’re like okay “Now
there’s something here.” – Well no, not even then. To your point, I’m not the
product of viral video. And there are a lot of
creators that are, I’m not. Every video I’ve made has counted. Slowly it’s chipped away. Slowly it’s gained subscribers. – But you agree with me as
also somebody who never had a, I still don’t have really that many viral, if any viral videos. – [Lilly] Also what does that even mean? – But I think you agree with me that there is no long term
product of a viral video. There’s just people that make viral videos and by the way, there are
people that make viral videos, and then are similar to you and I and that’s the starting
point and they go on because they have the skill set to build something meaningful
and there are tons of people who have viral videos
never to be seen again. – A hundred percent. I’d say viral, the concept of going viral, is very short term. It’s very short term. – You’re what number video
got to a million views? (Lilly sighing) What was that? – I don’t even remember
’cause it was pretty deep in. – [Greg] A year? – It was like probably
a year, a year or two. And that’s the thing, I– – Did you shit? Were you like “Fuck, finally.” – Well I do it everyday. – Yes I know that. (Lilly laughing) But in the metaphorically way of like I’m excited.
– Well here’s the thing, what I was gonna say, I was thrilled, but I’m also, just I have that immigrant
mentality of my parents, that’s like don’t ever get
too excited about stuff, keep working, keep hustling. – So even though it had a million views. – Love that mentality. – I was like, well this is not me, this is because of this trend. I know it’s because of this
trend of the stuff girls say and that moment that YouTube was having, so I was probably the last
person in my life to really have that Eureka moment of “Wait, this could actually go somewhere.” I’d hit a million subscribers. I had been traveling to different parts of the world to perform, and even still I was– – [Greg] To perform in what form? – A little bit of standup or a little bit of fan Q&A stuff online. Sometimes I would rap. Just a bunch of different stuff. – [Greg] Still being creative. – Still being creative. And I still was like “No,
this could go all go away. “This doesn’t mean anything.” It took me a really long
time to really accept this could be a career. Entertainment could be a career. – Are you similar to me which I have a lot of immigrant framework
where it wasn’t as binary as the way you said it. Meaning you didn’t go all the way in, but of course there was a
sub or conscious part of you that also knew like, okay this is happ, things are happ, it’s kind of how I feel right now. Like, mm, I don’t feel
like, I feel that right now. Like with all the good things
that are happening to me. – [Lilly] No, a hundred percent, same. – I’m like, I’m not, like I don’t know. – [Lilly] 100% same. I kind of teetered this line, because I do also believe in going all in.
– That’s what I thought. – Like when I started
doing YouTube videos, I didn’t have a back up plan
and I was very adamant on that. – [Gary] I believe you. – I was very much so like
if you have a back up plan, you’re putting a little bit,
no matter how small energy into that solution where really
I wanna focus on everything. – Is it true that you
equally right now think it could disappear and
equally think you’re gonna be the biggest star in the world? – 100% yes. (laughing) – [Gary] I totally understand. – Yeah I teeter that line all the time. I’m like I don’t need no
back up plan, I’m putting my, it’s all in. – You know what it is? It’s balance. I think that’s what I have too. I think it’s actually balance. – [Lilly] What you think we
have balance or lack of balance? – I think we have balance. I think the extreme– – You’re the first
person in my entire life that has ever told me I
have balance. (laughing) – I think you have balance. – [Lilly] Thank you. – I think that our
balance is pulling harder in the opposite directions
than most people. – I guess in this regard I have balance. In other facets of my life perhaps not, but in this regard, yeah. – [Gary] Sure that makes sense. – [Lilly] This is the best podcast ever. – I have enormous balance in human life. I’m completely imbalanced, when it comes to being a sports fan. I’m actually sitting here
conducting this interview with you operating this enormous business, because we just had a
pretty important meeting and I have one right behind it. And the only thing I’m thinking about is that I wanna punch Baker
Mayfield in the fucking face (Lilly laughing) ’cause the Jets are
playing the Browns tonight and half my team is hurt. And I’m on actual tilt right now. (Lilly laughing) – I feel safe. – Good, so anyway, I
actually think your balanced. I fully understand that. Okay now tell me about,
let’s go even further back, actually let me stay on this, ‘Cause I think it brings
more value to the audience. The YouTube thing’s happening. You’re doing these performance things, real quick just ’cause I
think it’s an important topic, where were you in balancing
out your platforms for creativity and awareness? One of the things that I
think is super interesting is people becoming one
dimensional on the platform that feeds them. As you grow it, when
did you hit a million? Or when did you feel like you were really in a big moment on YouTube? Twelve, fourteen, just
give me like a rough year. – Like what year? Probably in 2014 was when, yep. So were you also actively
at that point being active on Twitter, or Instagram,
or pod, anything else? Were you rounding out the platforms? – Yes, so I’ve always been a big, how I used to view things with everything is a funnel to YouTube. That’s how I used to view.
– I understand that. – I don’t necessarily
view it like that anymore. – I understand that too. – Yeah, now it’s about
certain content lives in certain places and
each of them are valuable. – Context has emerged. – Exactly, that wasn’t
the case in 2014 yet. – [Gary] I understand. – In 2014 was YouTube is paying me, YouTube is where I get my bread and butter and everything will funnel.
– Go on Twitter, send ’em to– – Exactly, exactly. Obviously now it’s, that’s
not even a good strategy, because other social media platforms, they all hated each other. So you can’t even drive people correctly from one platform to another. But now, I find it important to, “No, Twitter is for my tweets,
my thoughts, my et cetera. It doesn’t have to
continuously drive to YouTube. It’s more about these mini
communities I’m creating. – Where are you most active right now? Give me the lay of the land. – Right now, I’m probably
most active on Instagram. – Okay, what else is in
your repertoire if anything? – Yeah so I still do YouTube. I had a regimented YouTube
schedule for eight years that is insane. It was two scripted videos
a week plus seven vlogs. So nine videos a week. I did that for eight years. I just stopped that at
the top of this year, because I was going crazy. – When did you announce it? – I announced it, the top
of this year, in January. – Like cold? – You just did a video and said I’m done? – Well I took a break from social media. You know the thing that we all do. I took a break from
social media in November, took a little bit of time to sit on my thoughts and feelings, and then in January I announced. – You know what’s so funny? I had a, you just said
something, you said, “You know how we all
do,” and I never have. – Bless your soul. – But it’s interesting, I
literally for the first time ever, came up with this idea. I’ve been debating. I’m shocked I’m saying this out loud ’cause it’s so early and I don’t tend to share my thoughts this early, but you inspire me. – This is the effect
I have on people, yep. – You really inspire me. (Lilly laughing) I’ve been thinking
about creating something called “Disappearing December,” where I’m completely gonna disappear for the whole month of December. – [Lilly] I love that. – No contact. – [Lilly] I love that for you. – And I was like huh, and where it went, it was like I may wanna, yeah everyone here is
like “What the fuck?” My whole team was like “Are we fired?” (all laughing) It’s really interesting. There’s something about Jan one
that has always sat with me. December’s interesting, because
there’s some family time. I’m usually pissed about football. I always get a little
inspired about my family, but I grew up in my dad’s
family liquor store, so the wine store has always
got a little of my attention. Vayner’s quite busy. I wanna see, like it’s a very interesting, for all of us, it’s an interesting month. And I was like wow, I wonder. It’s kind of like November like the whole like that whole thing. I was like huh, I wonder if I do this, I wonder how many people do it? Wonder what that means? I do think humans take
scheduling very serious. There’s almost a part of me that believes that if people disappear in December, that their January and their
New Year starts off better. – I completely agree. – [Gary] So I’m debating it. – I am all in. Please let me know if this goes down, ’cause I will disappear
in December as well. – See this is what scares me about this. Is I really think it’s smart
and I actually think it would be adopted at scale. And I think that now I’m
questioning myself of like is the only reason I wanna do this, because I think it’s gonna
become huge and I wanna be like “I’m the fucker that created!” I’m trying like figure it
out if I’m like doing it because I know it will work. – Your trying to see if your
break from validation online will result in you being
validated in another way. (Lilly giggling) – It’s actually more just
you know I think about life? Like right before I die, I
think when you’re creative, and this took me a long time, I’ve only decided to accept
like, “Oh wait a minute, “maybe I’m creative,” in
the last couple of years, ’cause I was always
like I’m a business man. No it’s actually just ’cause I like being associated with ideas. – [Lilly] That’s great. – Like I just like the idea,
it’s actually this simple. Nine years from now,
going through the airport, and hearing a mom and
daughter walking be like, “Well we’ve got “Disappearing
December” coming up anyway. To just to think like “I
fucking came up with that.” As a matter of fact, I just realized what I’m
doing now in the meta. I just put it out before
somebody else stumbles on it. Now I’ve got this. – [Lilly] Boom! – Boom! – Put a trademark on it. – But by the way, honestly without, everyone’s like trademark
and all this stuff, I never do those things. This already feels good. Anyway, I’m sorry. Nonetheless, so what about as a kid? Where were you born and how’d you grow up? – I was born in Toronto, Canada. I only moved from Toronto
five years ago to LA. I was raised by– – [Gary] Are you a Raptors fan? – Uh, yeah. Oh the NBA Champs? Yes, I am fans of the NBA Champs. – But are you a bullshit Raptors fan? – No, no, I’ve been,
so I really got into– – [Gary] Like can you tell
me a lot about Vince Carter? – This is what I was gonna say. I’ve been a really die hard
fan for the past probably six, seven years. So not when I was super young. My family wasn’t very into sports. My family was into making ends meet. We didn’t do sports. – I think I understand. – I have two immigrant
parents that are from India, from northern India, Punjab. So that, that we’re going back
to that immigrant hustles, embedded in me. – [Gary] Of course. – I have an older sister, which is very interesting and full circle, because for so much of my life, my parents wanted me to
follow her footsteps. – [Gary] Of course. – Of course, did the psych degree. Did all things, now she does YouTube. (laughing)
– Love that. – She’s older, she’s
six years older than me. – [Gary] I love that. So that’s been an interesting
full circle moment. – [Gary] Of course. – Growing up I was a huge tomboy. Loved to be rebellious in
the most ridiculous of things like painting my room red. (pounding) Would go to the end of the
earth to do these ridiculous things that my parents for some reason, because they’re Indian
would always oppose, even though it makes no sense. – Of course, of course. – And I just really loved being creative. I loved dancing. I was a dancer for a good part of my life. Bhangra dancing which is like
traditional Indian dancing. There’s one brown guy in the
room is nodding his head at me. Yep. (Lilly laughing) And I was just always that kid. My parents just kind
of learned very early, that if Lilly really
wants to do something, she is going to do it
regardless of what we say. – [Gary] Headstrong, conviction. – Yeah just very headstrong. And even with dancing, traditionally my parents didn’t like that. They didn’t like me performing. They had ideas about it. – Doesn’t sound like
a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer.
– Exactly, so I had, it took like a year for
me to convince them. And how I convinced them
was it wasn’t through lying, it wasn’t through sneaking out of my house to go to dance practice, it was “hey you’re gonna
come to my next show, and you’re gonna see what I do.” It’s always been educating my
parents on what I wanna do, because I believe so
strongly that it’s valuable. – [Gary] Of course. – Same with YouTube. When I told my parents, I
wanna make YouTube videos, and not go to grad school,
my parents were like what, first of all “What are you talking about? “We don’t know what this is?” – Who’s this YouTube guy? I’m gonna punch him in
punch him in the face. – Exactly, exact, exactly. So but they said you have a
year to try to figure it out and if it goes somewhere, great. – Well that’s really what’s special. You know it’s funny. I have immigrant parents
as well and I went into a family business and
the number one question I get asked is like, “How do you convince your
dad to let you do things?” I get so many emails from
men and women who ask about their mom and dad’s business
and they can’t do things, and no matter how much I did at fourteen, and I worked every fucking
weekend and holiday. No matter how much talent
I showed and results from fourteen to 22, and in my own mind, I took it, it still required
my dad saying micro yes’s when I was like, “Hey let’s buy this weird
sparkling papaya juice.” I’ll never forget this. I bought a bunch of like
sparkling non-alcoholic juice, that had, this was 1991,
and the flavors were mango, and pear, and papaya. Like people came in the
store like, “What’s a mango?” And we sold it all. And I always think of
like that being a moment where I convinced my dad who I was, but it still took the micro-yes for it. A lot of dads and moms
say no to the mango juice. – [Lilly] For sure. – And so, A, dad thank you for saying yes to the mango juice. And B, hearing your parents
having, we’re lucky, as strict and old school
as our parents were, they had micro-yes’s in them. – [Lilly] For sure. – Letting you have the year to prove it. – [Lilly] A hundred percent. – Me buying the mango juice. A lot of kids don’t have that and I’m very grateful for that. – 100% and another thing I tell, ’cause I get a lot of the
similar questions as well, people saying I wanna do what
is YouTube or entertainment– – [Gary] Yeah of course, but how do you do this with our parents? – And I always, this might not be the
answer people want to hear, but for me at least in
my experience was true. My parents became fine with
my career once they knew I was going to be okay. I think for Indian or
any immigrant parents, it’s more so, we don’t care
about what your passion is, we don’t care about any of it, we wanna know that when
we’re dead and gone, will you be okay? – Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, I think this is my
biggest passion in life. We need to convince fucking human beings that okay is happy, not have some money. – [Lilly] No, 100%, I agree. – Period, period, do you know how many miserable as fuck doctors and engineers from immigrant parents there
are listening right now? Miserable as fuck.
– And we know that. And we know that, but
I think for my parents, it didn’t matter how happy
something would make me. – [Gary] I get it, I get it. – It was are you going to be
able to eat and pay bills. – Of course because
they came from a place, like I know where our parents came from, but we as stewards to this, like and everybody in our society today, we have to change okay
not for your making money on your TickTock videos, it’s I’m happy to make TickTock videos and I’m willing to live a
$40,000 a year lifestyle to do that. That happiness has to start
pushing against money. – I mean going back to one
other question I get often is “I wanna start making YouTube videos, “do you have any advice?” – [Gary] Make ’em. – And my advice is always
do something you care about. Talk about something you care about. Make videos about something
that matters to you, because the fame and the numbers, and the money is not gonna fulfill you the way having a point of
view that you care about is. – I agree. Like Katie do we have questions? – [Katie] Yes. – Okay before we get into that, so the manager calls, you’re wearing half
blazer, half sweatsuit. – [Lilly] It was a ballgown, yeah. I just changed the story. (laughing) – And you’re sitting there over
this month of doing research to give an answer to
these white executives, when it finally came into your head like, “Fuck this is gonna happen,” because you decided for
yourself it’s gonna happen, who were the top people you
wanted to be guests on the show? There was some point
right, after you did this, you’re like “Okay I’m
gonna have the first week. “I’m gonna have the first show.” – So I had a mix. I had have two buckets of people. In the first bucket is Beyonce, because once I have Beyonce on my show, I can retire and not do
anything else ever again. – [Gary] Yeah, I understand. – But the second bucket honestly– – B I know you listen everyday, so can you just hit her up. – And the second bucket of people is, people that have not
yet had an opportunity to be on late night or
not had that platform yet. – [Gary] Love, love. – Like a lot of my friends are people who I have just admired online
who have never had the chance to do this yet. – I remember Fallon,
absolutely was the first, ’cause Gavin the producer
came from “DigNation”. And I remember there
was little bit of that. Not to the level that I think you’re about to embark on, that’s cool. – I mean in every facet of my show, whether it’s like the writer’s room, or like people, the script
assistant or whatever, I’m really trying to infiltrate
it with people that I know could use this opportunity. – [Gary] That’s cool. – Because that’s the
actual legacy of the show. On air, great. The 22 minutest you seen on screen, great. It’s fun, it’s cute, whatever, but it’s actually giving
people opportunities. – What’s the format gonna be? So you changed the name, right? – Which I love. – “It’s a little late with Lilly Singh” – I like that. – There’s a lot of L’s, thank you. – Yeah, I like that. – The staples of late night
that we love and we’re used to, so the monologue, the sketch, et cetera, but I’m making it a lot more personal, because I’m prioritizing
community building. Which I don’t think the late
night world has done yet. Me coming from the YouTube world, I know the value of building a community. And so my monologues are
not just template monologues anyone can read, they’re very much so
based on my experiences who I am. The audience will get to
know me beyond just the host of the show. They’ll get to know Lilly. The type of person she is. What her moral compass is or
her experience, et cetera. – What’s the punch line
with that time slot? Is, obviously, there’s the
history, Carson had such a, before we went on the
air, or during the air, like 17, what a run. 17 years.
– 17 years, yeah. – Did such a great job. I go into cliche common sense and I’m like ooh, like interesting, like young dudes that stay
up to 1:30 is one place I go. People that live alternative
lives where they’re like working at those times
or things of that nature. And then I’m just thinking
about the nature of like, for example, we’re very similar. Obviously, we came up the same way. I also have really never
debated having a show, was offered stuff, the closest I, the big moment for me, similar to you, and I was just too deep into
this was a syndicated show, which is even 200 god
damn episodes for daytime. And I really wanted to ’cause I wanted, but it was just too much. Nonetheless, I’m very curious
about how much of this show is consumed online days later, clips. I’m sure your DNA, like it’ll be really interesting
to see for me to hear. – Yeah for me how I’m
viewing it is that 1:30 a.m. it launches, and it starts
it’s life beyond that. I’m not married to the idea that people are viewing it at 1:30. We’re well aware majority of people will view it the next day on YouTube. And for me I actually– – And is that how it works? Just for functionality. Like the full show will be
on YouTube the next day? – It will be divided into clips, but when those clips are combined, yes, it’s all parts of the show. – Got it, so if you’re
like a hard, hard core fan. So Sid is like “I love this show.” And he could go watch
five clips and basically and see every piece of the show? – Minus like a couple of
seconds of dead air time, yes you’d be able to see
every element of the show. And that’s important for me,
because coming from YouTube, I have a world wide audience. Not everyone has access to NBC, and so important for me for
them to be able to consume it. – That’s cool, awesome. – [Lilly] Thanks. – Some questions. – [Lilly] Let’s do it. – Let’s call some peeps. – [Lilly] Oh yeah. Are any of these callers ever– – Has historically DVR been a big play for these late, late shows? Do you know? Are you sure? Not sure?
– Not with YouTube. I don’t even know. I feel like it’s just YouTube
is gonna be the real gem. (phone ringing) – Who’s this? – [Katie] Nikita from California. – Nakita, Nakita Koloff
is my favorite wrestler. Scary as shit. – You’re gonna get a whole
bunch of brown people calling in right now. I love it. (cast laughing) Nikita! – This could be a Russian fucking gangster (all laughing) just so you understand. – Boy will my face be red, let’s see. – Or it could be somebody
who’s not gonna answer and be devastated. – [Lilly] Nikita! – That’s what I’m hoping for. These are always my favorite
memes when I scold people. (Lilly laughing) You sure you typed it in right? – [Katie] Yes. – [Man] Oh-oh!
– Should we leave a voicemail. – [Automated Woman]
Please leave your message for 510-902-8295.
– Oh, we’re gonna leave a? – Here we go.
– Well now you gotta. – We don’t beep anything. (beeping) Everybody can figure out. Nikita, it’s Gary and Lilly. This is one of the great
mistakes of your life not picking up the phone. You will probably do
what everybody else does which is you’re gonna call back, however we are not going
to pick up the phone, because life is about timing, and this is a lesson that
I wanna teach the audience. Have a great day. Lilly? – Nikita, have a great
day after this message. I’m still rooting for
you and I’d love to talk to you one day. (laughing) Nikita I’m fucking rooting for you too. (laughing) I’m just talking about
timing matters in life. – Just tweet me, tweet me. Don’t let this be the
thing that ruins your day. – This won’t ruin your day. This is like a funny meme Nikita. You can watch this video all the time. – Me and Gary are gonna fist fight now. (laughing) – [Gary] All right let’s
go to the next one. – [Katie] Okay (laughing). – I always think. (Lilly laughing) Lilly I always think about timing. I always think about the
meeting I didn’t take that is absolutely the one that would have changed
the course of my career. (phone ringing) I love timing. I think–
– [Katie] Jamie from Miami. I’m sorry. – Who?
– [Katie] Jamie from Miami. – You don’t have to be sorry.
– Jamie from Miami, let’s do it.
– You’re helping me. – [Jamie] Hello. – Jamie? – [Jamie] Hi, yes. – This is Gary Vaynerchuk
and you’re on with Lilly. – [Lilly] Hey. – [Jamie] I’m, oh my God, I’m gonna cry. – Crying is good. – Sure cry, cry but speak to. – [Jamie] Okay, oh my God, I’m gonna cry. Okay I’m pulling up my vlog camera. Lilly hi. – [Lilly] Hi. – [Jamie] So I am 25 years old. I’m a dancer in Miami. I have watched all of your videos. All of your vlogs and like you
spoke about your depression, like not depression, but the funk that you went through on the break that you took. And I watched and kind of
lived all of that with you, because like that’s the same exact thing that I’ve been going
through, so I understood, like through your videos, that you were dealing with burnout. So I’m 25 now and I’ve owned
a gym and a dance studio here in Miami since I was 19, but currently just feel burnt out. So I guess my question is
like how do you overcome that, and like, I just feel stuck. You know what I mean? – [Gary] Yeah, great question. – Yeah that is a great question. So I took a social media
break at the end of last year and you know there’s a lot
of things that helped me, but one thing in particular
that I found so helpful was redefining how I
define self care basically. I think previously in my life
I used to work so tremendously hard and so relentlessly hard as you know if you watched all of my videos. You know there’s a lot of them. – [Jamie] I do. – I used to work so tremendously
hard and my idea of a break would be once a year, I’d go to a resort, and get drunk, and eat a lot of food, and then go back to my life, and then work relentlessly hard. – [Gary] Sounds amazing. – That does sound amazing,
but it’s not sustainable. – I learned that self
care and small things– – Nothing is sustainable, Lilly. – [Lilly] You’re correct. Well actually, well I don’t know. – Let me phrase. Like what keep going, I’m gonna let you finish
’cause I have one thing to add. – Well what I’ve learned
is that for me self care is small things every day. Really it’s about that 10 minutes of meditation I do everyday. It’s about writing in my
diary if I feel clouded. It’s about going on a walk if I need to and that actually makes me work smarter and work better than when I’m working from morning to night non stop. I actually get a lot more done when I’m a happy, healthy person, because I’ve dedicated
20 minutes of my day to just being a human. If that makes sense. – [Jamie] Absolutely, absolutely. – Jamie to add to that. What is not sustainable is micro tactics. So I already, already have friends that are on the other side of meditation. Like it’s just an emerging thing, and I’ve already getting
hundreds of DM’s and texts and emails and conversations around, “Hey I’ve been doing it for three years, “and it’s worn out it’s value,” which is actually where I wanna take this. To the little micro conversation
Lilly and I just had, nothing’s sustainable, wait,
wait a minute, yes it is. I think something that you need to give a lot of thought to is judgment. (Jamie laughing) So one of the things (laughing)
and even by you’re reaction, it excites me. I’m super passionate about judgment. A, the way we judge ourselves. B, the way we allow how
other people’s judgments to become a variable in our lives. When I think about the only
sustainable thing that I have in me and I give a huge
shout out to Tom Bilyeu when he was on my podcast and
actually giving this to me. Because I was living it. I just didn’t put words to it. My ability to not judge myself, which then leads me to not judging others has been the greatest gift of my life and is the only sustainable thing I have. Through all my twists
and turns, my friend, for you to be at 25 and
already have this much accomplishment under your belt. – [Lilly] Mm-hmm for sure. – [Jamie] I’m gonna cry. Oh my God, I can’t. (Jamie sighing) – I really need you to see
this and it makes me happy that we’re having this micro talk. Like brother, like you’re
beating yourself up, or allowing somebody else to beat you up, when you’ve already– – [Jamie] Can I add in? – You can add a whole lot. – [Jamie] So I think that
you just kind of hit the nail on the coffin with me Gary. So like judgment is a really
big thing which is why I’ve always been attracted to Lilly, because she’s never been
afraid to be herself which has gotten her to where she is today which is launching her, it’s amazing. So like I’m here in Miami, I a 6’3″ black man that
dances for a living. So people come up to me
every single day and ask me if I’m an athlete, and
then I have to say no, I’m a dancer. So like even within myself,
I’m so afraid of my own craft, and being judged. Even things like opening
up a YouTube channel, I’ve been so afraid of my own judgment, and then people’s judgment. – Jamie, Jamie? – It all doesn’t except for that’s definitely the
answer, you’re right. – And let’s stay on this, because this is gonna
be very valuable for, this has the potential
to be very, very valuable for a lot of people, so let’s
keep playing the three of us. Couple of things. I don’t know Lilly well enough, but I was listening to a couple of things. Lilly’s serendipity of being an immigrant, to a parent structure
that I’m familiar with, and her having the DNA
from a very young age to fight the system, and be comfortable with the ramifications, similar to me, got us into a place, where no and being on an island, and not looking for acceptance, but having conviction, to
the inner conversation, led us to a lot of practice
by the time we got older. So many of us, maybe you, maybe not, I’m just painting a picture here. So many people don’t
practice from zero to 22 of being comfortable and know they have their entire energy to chasing yes. To looking for acceptance from others. So what may be happening to you, when I hear that from
you, where I go is like, okay awesome I’m so fucking
happy how life works. We’re gonna stick on this moment. We’re not going to the next call, because all I want Jamie
for you to understand is the following. – [Jamie] I’m gonna cry. – Other people’s judgment is
such a tell to what’s going on in their lives. – [Lilly] It’s also something
you can never control. Like you’ll never be able to control it, so it’s focusing on what
in your control as well. – Jamie when I look at
people hating other people, and this is not a joke, and this is not the most popular opinion. When I watch other people
hate, or overly judge, or try to make, you know hate… You know I’m not going to racism, I’m even talking about being
in a meeting watching somebody roll their eyes so that person sees it to their idea, because
they’re trying to impose their sadness within them on somebody out. Misery loves company is something that I think right now, intuitively, needs a bigger platform in
conversation in our society, because for some reason,
I really understand it. And so if you leave this
call with nothing other than anybody that casts
judgment on you that you should deploy empathy and sympathy for them, because they’re dealing
with their own shit, can really change the
diagram for you my friend. – I also say that I’ve never
met a happy successful person that had something unnecessarily mean or bad to say about someone else. So I feel like when you are
in a good place in your life, like I always think about
this when I receive negative comments online, I mean, I’ve
been doing this for so many years, but I still, people
say you have thick skin. There’ll be a comment or
two that still gets you. Of course we’re all human. – [Gary] Everybody, everybody. – But I always think about the fact that when I’m in a good place, I don’t wake up and I don’t
have the desire to write mean things about people on the internet. And so really the type of
person that is doing it is someone that is not happy
and not in a good place. So I absolutely agree with
what you are sentiment Gary and it’s also just goes back to control. For me it’s I know I can
control my reaction to things. I know I can control my thought process. I’ll never be able to control someone else and what they think of me. – Lilly I swear on
everything that I hold dear, that when I see the negative comments, which I get every single day, and I read comments, ’cause
that’s how I do research. – [Lilly] Of course yeah. – I genuinely sit there
and I’m like I feel so bad. It is as foreign to me as
to commit murder right now. I’m being dead serious right now. The thought of killing another human, is as foreign to me as going to somebody’s social media profile, consuming their content, and then leaving something negative. – I completely agree. That’s why I just know that it’s someone that’s not in a good place. Jamie listen, let me tell you
something about your youth. One thing I push a lot
is perspective on time. You are gonna live literally
three more full lives. Everything you’ve done from the day you were born to right now, you’re about to do three more times. – [Jamie] (laughing) A crazy thought. – It is really crazy especially
when you’re ambitious and trying to create
something and being in one of the ten biggest cities where there’s a lot of action going on. What’s everybody else doing? If you contextualize that, that will help you so much as well. Because let me tell you what I believe. I believe for a lot of us. A lot of us for all different reasons, create a framework where
we allow outside opinion to have a disproportionate impact on our lives, a disproportionate. And if we are born into anything that even looks remotely
different than the norm, we immediately are on our back foot, immigrant, gender, sex,
preferences, skin tone, and by the way, let me say this, for the small group of white
men that aren’t immigrants that born in America, they
have their insecurities too, ’cause their mom tells
them they’re not as smart as their brother. Not as fast. This is, this human condition, is for everyone, for everyone. And so what you need to do off this call, and if you understood the math
behind even being the person that we got to. – [Jamie] I’m freaking out. I have a vlog camera in my hand. – By the way, Nikita
could have answered it, brought up a great question, and we would have never gotten to you. – [Jamie] Absolutely. – Right? Jaime you have to understand
that what you have to start doing right now is getting
quiet within your own head. – [Jamie] Oh my God, yes. – But Jamie, let me tell you one part that nobody talks about
that might help you. Part of the equation of getting
quiet is also not getting too high when people say
that you’re brilliant. One of the reasons I’ve
noticed so much insecurity, I’m like wait a minute, they take in that they’re
beautiful or they’re fast or they throw the ball
hard or they’re clever, or they’re good at great, one of the things that, it’s
why this is so full circle. Why I think you’re balanced
is because you think you’re gonna be the biggest,
and you think you’re no one. – [Lilly] Yeah, that’s a good point, yeah. – I understand that too, and that’s no different
than not getting too high when everybody says you’re great. – I think yeah, I’m a
big believer of this too and it goes, it comes down to
not taking anything personally whether it’s positive or negative. Because you can’t sit there and be like, oh I’m not gonna take
negativity personally, but I’m gonna accept all this praise. It really has to be from both ends. When someone comes up
to me as many people do, and I’m sure Gary you have this a lot, people will come up to you and say, “You changed my life.” And I always say, “I didn’t, you did.” “You changed your life.” Perhaps I was part of
your world at that moment. – You’re much better than I. I’m completely, completely the
reason your life has changed. – You are the reason I have
a late night show as well, so I agree. But it goes back to just not taking either of those things personally. I know it sounds kind of absurd, because you think you should be taking in positive energy, not negative, but I think you can’t pick and choose. You can’t take in someone’s word of you being beautiful.
– Hey Jamie? I’m sorry go finish.
– And not the negatively. – Hey Jamie? Jamie one other weird little thing, I think you should go
and volunteer one day for a retirement home. – [Jamie] Wow, okay. – I’ll tell you why. I feel like people that
are in this position, need massive perspective, injects right? We’re having this awesome talk. You’re gonna take the high of this. You’re gonna build a little bit. I’m telling you right now. There’s nothing that can help people more than going to somebody
who they don’t know. Not your grandparent, and spending a day, with people in their
90’s and understanding how all the things of
people rolling up on you, in the Miami scene, and passing judgment means jack shit, and that perspective is everything. You’ve gotta start the
process of this phone call to detach from judgment both pro and con. That is the round up. – Also the last thing I’m
gonna say to you as someone who also dances, anyone who
says you’re not an athlete, ’cause you dance, is wrong. Dance is so extraneous. – [Jamie] No, of course. – It is amazing. So be proud of that. Be proud of that. As a fellow dancer I just
had to throw that in there. – Jamie instead of letting you
go and having this feel good moment, what have you, like
I’m just really curious, like what’s running through
your mind for real, for real? More importantly not the good. – [Jamie] Okay, thank you for asking me. – Not the good, but the part that you’re
leaving when you hang up here where you’re like yeah but. I wanna really know what’s in
your head as yeah but Jamie. – [Jamie] So can I say three things? – You can take seven. – [Jamie] Because these
are the three things that’s on my mind. So number one, Lilly you said
that to get out of your funk, you do something like take a vacation, and you blah, blah, blah. So like I feel even worse,
because like I just did that. So like I’m trying to start
a mob and create on top of the fitness business
that I’m running in Miami. So I just went to Italy for
10 days to like clear my mind and vacation, but then you come back, and you’re like “Oh wait,
I forgot all this to do,” and you gotta figure out
how I’m gonna get it done. So like for me I feel like
I’ve done the vacation part. I’ve even like packed up all my stuff, and moved to a different city, because I was just over
the fitness industry here. And I’ve come back and then
support me all the same, so like for me I don’t know
how to get out of the funk, ’cause I’ve done the rest part of it. Like the rest your mind part. Now it’s just like, crap how
do I build a bigger business on top of this? Number two, Gary you said
like quiet and like silence. Ah man, so like social
media really drives me crazy because I watch your videos
Gary and you say to post, post, post, post content,
content, content. (Gary chuckling) And for me that is the
hardest thing to do, because I’m a personality, but like I hate to post on social media. Like even my social media now– – Jamie you hate to post on social media, because you overvalue the opinions. You’re not in a mindset of creation, you’re in a mindset of validation. – [Jamie] Oh my God. – And speaking of validation.
– Hold on, hold on, hold on. – I just came up with a thing
called “Disappearing December” which we will talk about again. (laughing) – No but really, let’s go
back to that point real quick. Like literally, 99% of people online, are in the mindset of validation. The reason I say post, post, post, is I want you to be in
a mindset of creation. I want you to do it for you. Jamie you probably aren’t
watching my content enough to know that I reference four
times, seven times a year, that scene from Rocky IV
where Drago loses to Rocky and he yells at the Soviet
Union and all the people in the crowd, and he said “Fuck you guys. “This wasn’t America versus the USSR, “I was in this ring for me.” And that’s like what I wanna inject a little Drago into everybody. I want you to post for
you not for the likes, not for the validation. For the mindset of creating
and leaving your two cents on the world for you. The reason nobody wants to post is it’s become one big game of insecurity. – [Jamie] Of course, that’s true. – [Lilly] What’s the third thing? – [Jamie] And then the
third thing is like so Gary I kind of jumped into
you when I was 19 and 20, because I got sponsored by one
of the biggest universities here in Miami, it’s FIU. So like they built my very
first gym for me at $120,000 at 19 years old and it was
the craziest experience. And like I’ve been dancing
for the past six years and just doing what I love every day. But for me now, the business side. It’s like damn, I get burnt out so easily and so quickly when you realize, “Oh crap, no one is paying my bills.” I’m the only one doing
this and every move I make is my next paycheck and like growing this. So I guess these are all the
thoughts that I guess I– – I get it. – [Jamie] It’s hard to feel
stuck in like different areas of your life. – No this is great. – [Jamie] ‘Cause it just
starts not making me want to post on social and then yeah. – Hey Jamie another thing, listen, I talk about self
awareness over everything. That is my biggest religion. Brother there is nothing
wrong with you not being an entrepreneur, owner of this thing. I’ve have had my family’s livelihood, then I had to start from zero again, ’cause I built it for my family. I can go on and on and
I’ve never felt a fear of the next paycheck,
because I’m in my zone. If I had to read a script. If I had Lilly’s job and I
don’t know how you’re doing it, but if I had to read from
a teleprompter tonight, in front of zero people, I would be so fucking scared, because I can’t read for shit and it’s an insecurity of mine. But if I have to go give an
impromptu keynote right now in Madison Square Garden
in front of 37,000 people, and I could talk about my shit, I would moonwalk to the Garden right now. (laughing) You like that? (laughing) You just might not need
to be an owner of a gym which is amazing. And by the way, let’s
really play this out, ’cause I’m fucking fully
invested at this point. (Lilly laughing) – [Jamie] I appreciate it. Thank you so much. – And let me give you the piece
that I think really matters because I think you kind of
might know what I just said. And the part of closing the gym, and having your auntie
or your best friend, or your neighbor, or somebody that looked up to you that’s doing well right now, judge you, means horse shit too. The amount of people that
judge people that are doing from the sidelines makes me laugh. When you’re judged for closing the gym, because you’re deploying
self awareness to happiness and you get a comment of, “Oh, see.” And maybe you put yourself out there, maybe you made a video three years ago and said I’m gonna crush it
and build the next Gold Gym, and maybe you kind of put
yourself in that spot. It still doesn’t matter,
because you’re doing and living. It doesn’t matter what they think of that. – [Jamie] That’s for sure. – [Lilly] And just to go
back to your first point, Jaime I wanna emphasize, how
you view that vacation line, is exactly how I used to view it for the many, many years in my life. What I highly recommend
is that I’m saying you don’t need to do that. I’m saying that take 10 minutes
today after this call even to just reflect, meditate, write. I’m saying is that if you’re
not having fun on the journey, it’s like not worth it. And this is someone who’s
worked relentlessly hard. If you’ve watched my vlogs, you know this. – [Jamie] I know you have. – I believe in working hard even still, but the thing I believe in
most is you have to be happy. Happiness is the thing.
– I love this woman so much. – [Jamie] I do too. – I couldn’t believe in this more. – [Jamie] I love you both. – Jamie 99% of people just
came back from summer vacation and the first fucking day back, all the things that they thought they got went in the garbage by 9:48 a.m. – [Jamie] No of course. And so like I really, really, really think that it is a much more macro thing. This comes down to judgment. If there was nobody else on
earth, everybody would be happy. – [Jamie] Amen. – I’m telling you this is a judgment game. This is you worried about
what people are gonna think. Once I got to the final
pieces of not even caring what my own parents thought, fully, it completely unlocked for me and I was already ridiculously happy. You can’t let judgment seep in. It is the poison. – And to that point, you
just said the parent side, a lot of times when we let
go of those types of ideas, well of course my parents
have a judgment, my friends, when you let go of all, then you give the judgment to
yourself, ’cause you think, oh that makes me a bad
son or a bad daughter. You have to also not judge
yourself in that regard. So it’s complete lack of judgment. – And let me give you the
secret to all the kids out there who are struggling with not
letting their parents down, ’cause I get that all day long. “Gary you put all this pressure
on the parenting dynamic.” I always say to them, “Listen, net, net, and this is not a blanket statement, nothing can be a blanket statement, but I genuinely believe
that every kid who decides to do what their parents want them to do, versus what they wanna
do end up 30 years later, 26 years later, 41 years later, in massive underlining
subconscious resentment of their parents. And I would rather kids
and parents have a shitty three to five years than have a life, a life full of resentment and undertones, and all that anxiety. And guess what happens out of that three to five years of bad. Somebody ends up being right. And you don’t even need to have right. First of all, take it from two people, parents get real proud (Lilly laughing), when they’re not sure and the you do it. – [Lilly] For sure. – That’s the ultimate for a parent. And more importantly a lot
of times kids lose too. There’s a lot of kids
that told their parents they were gonna be the
biggest rapper in the world, went to LA, and nine years later, are not the biggest rapper in the world, and they come back to
Kansas and they get a job in the family business
or within the profession, or something else, and guess what, their parents are
thrilled they’re back home ’cause they miss them. And guess what else, that next Eminem or next Jay-Z also feels good. Or next Meg the Stallion, they also feel good ’cause
they gave it a fucking shot and now that they’re a carpenter, or a businesswoman, or whatever
the hell they’re doing, they don’t have to live with regret. This is why we have to
push this narrative. ’cause it will lead to more
happiness for everyone. – For sure, agreed. Jamie how you feeling? – [Jamie] I’m like shaking. I’m like shaking. I have like a vlog camera in front of me ’cause I’m like crying and
I’m like wiping my tears. – Get that thumbnail
boo, get that thumbnail. (all laughing) – [Jamie] Yeah, you already know. – Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, which
person in your life’s opinion do you value the most? Who do you think is really
riding real mindset? Like when you think about
your life and you think about when the gym opened, who you called, or who’s validation do
you generally believe you’re anchoring to? – [Jamie] It’s definitely mom, and I think again we’re all immigrants. So like I was born in Jamaica
and mom is now a doctor, so like I’m, mom learned very early, like James is not gonna be a doctor. Like I went to school
for acting and dance, so like she immediately picked up on that. So I definitely think it’s her validation, even though she’s come to terms with like, “hey my kid is a performer,” like he’s not following my line of work.” But again, I do wanna make
her proud and like somehow, like “Hey mom everything that I’m doing, “and all this time I’m
wasting, in this industry, “it’s not for nothing.” – Jamie a couple of things on that. And I apologize for not letting you go, but I just feel like you’re– – [Lilly] Your ours now. – You’re doing so much good
for so many people right now. I’m not gonna let it go even
though I feel the stress of my team telling me I’m
late and this and that. Jamie listen to me. We have to change the narrative
of artists or entrepreneurs or athletes, or creative
people, or anybody who’s willing to have any conviction
of their own happiness for that matter. You’re not wasting your time. We have to put the process on a pedestal, not the results that come with it. I promise you this. There are a ton of mothers and fathers who are listening right
now, who are devastated, that their kids went through a
process of making them proud, they achieved everything, they got the degree,
they got the business, they got the money, and now they’re 48 and they
just had dinner last week and they’re completely broken. And you can’t put that
judgment on yourself. Your mother and every mother
and father, deep down, even if they don’t realize it, their number one proud moment
is if their child is happy. If their child had enough conviction to make themselves happy. If you can get happy
about the process of this, versus whatever results this gym does, you will be in a much better happy place. – [Jamie] Oh man, yes
sir, yes ma’am, agreed. – Where does your mom
sit currently on this? Like she’s scared and worried,
disappointed, pumped, elated? – [Jamie] No so like and
again I’ll make it fast. So I basically already went
through the process of like closing the gym ’cause I knew
that it wasn’t gonna work. I moved away. I came back. And now what I’ve done is
infiltrated another gym so that I’m not paying a huge overhead. – Smart, smart. – [Jamie] And taking all my classes there. So mom is really proud, because like I’m running things, and I have more time on
my hands, so mom is proud. Mom just wants to see me reach the level that she knows I can. – Yeah but you know what? You and mom have to have
a conversation about that, because that’s an arbitrary number. That’s a fake thing. That’s like VaynerMedia
when people are like “You’re creative needs to be better.” I’m like, “no, no, you’re
judgment on this video, “is the king and queen.” Like you have to have,
I’m telling you Jamie, you have to have a conversation
with your mom about that. Reaching your full potential
or what you’re capable of, has to be on your happiness stated. Right now, you’re nowhere on that. I don’t give a fuck how many
classes you’re doing in 97 gyms and you’re profit margin’s better. It needs to be on being
happy about your day to day. – [Jamie] Amen, agreed, yes sir. – But I mean it also sounds like, compared to a lot of situations
a lot of people are in, having a mom in this position is great. – [Gary] Fucking amazing. – It’s amazing. (Jamie laughing) So I feel like you have all the pieces to make things pop off here. I agree, have that conversation
and don’t do the but after this as Gary mentioned. – [Jamie] Yes ma’am. – Jamie the key is knowing
how to quantify ambition so it doesn’t manifest in your own personal judgment and anxiety. I’m so uncomfortably ambitious, but I got lucky and circumstantial
to put it into a place that doesn’t cast judgment. In a world where I’ve been
very successful, business-wise, in the last 20 years. But between the partnership with my dad, and the partnership with my brother, I have nowhere close to
the personal finances needed to achieve my professional goals of buying the New York Jets. At 43 years old, I sit
here cool as a cucumber. So you can imagine why I push
patience and lack of judgment on 25 year olds. – [Jamie] Absolutely, absolutely sir. – Don’t, listen please
change behavior past this. Please take this phone call
as a moment in your life to change your behavior and
recalibrate the conversation. The ambition needs to be waking up happy, not anything else. – [Jamie] Absolutely, Gary can I just say that I, this is a promise
that I’m making to you, because I watch your show almost weekly. And to be rather frank, like
I was about to take a shower, go to work, and like go train a client, and then I opened Facebook
and I saw Lilly on your show, and I reached out. I freaked, because you guys,
you are the only two people that I watch when I’m in a funk. So like Lilly, again I watched her in a
funk earlier this year, and I’m watching her start her own show, which is like, it’s the craziest thing. So like if I’m seeing someone like her, who I’ve watched for six, seven years, do it, and get out of it. Like this call is like the
biggest wake up call to me, so like please, please, thank you so much. – Jamie, Jamie, this is how
we’re gonna end this call. I think, and I don’t wanna
put Lilly on the spot, but I think I’m firm on this. I think there’s a very strong likelihood, or maybe even booked, or
kind of almost booked. Like I’m gonna be on Lilly’s show. – [Lilly] Yes, 100%. I just didn’t know, I
felt like we were there. (all laughing) – [Jamie] I love that. – No, no, no like we’ve
been working on it behind, like so Jamie I’m going
to fly you up here. – [Jamie] I’m gonna cry. – And you’re gonna hang out
with me in the Green Room the day I do the show. – No, or I’ll give you your own Green Room and it’ll be bigger than
Gary’s and he can hang in your Green Room. – By the way Jamie, and you
know why that works for me, when you’re Green Room
is bigger than mine, what Lilly doesn’t know is she just gave me a real mitzvah, because that’s gonna motivate me even more to be the greatest fucking
guest on her show ever premiering tonight at 10 p.m. on YouTube. – [Jamie] I know I have it recorded. I have it prerecorded already. – So Jamie I’m gonna have
Katie give you a call and get all your details. And once we’re locked in,
you’re coming to New York City, you’re gonna hang out at
Vayner in the morning, we’re gonna help look at your stuff, then we’re gonna all go
into record the show, LA, I’m an idiot. I’m gonna fly you to LA. – [Lilly] You still up for this Gary? – Of course I’m up for this. (Lilly laughing) You’re gonna fly to LA, this is what’s fun about being global. You’re gonna fly to LA, I’m gonna meet you in
the LA office of Vayner, we’re gonna hang out, then we’re gonna go do the show. You’re gonna hang out in
your bigger green room. I’ll come and visit. – And then after the show,
all three of us can talk about all the things you wanna talk about. I just volunteered Gary’s time. – That just happened. – Even more so. (laughing) – That’s firm, that is in real life. – [Lilly] Then he’s gonna buy you a yacht. (all laughing) – And burn it to the ground
in your face to motivate you. (all laughing) Jamie we’ll see you soon. – [Lilly] Thanks Jamie. – You better start crying,
you’re coming to LA. We’ll see you soon. – I’ll be seeing you Jamie, bye. – [Jamie] You got it, thank you. – [Lilly] Look at us.
– We’re fun. – Look at you making dreams come. – [Gary] Look at us. – Look at us. – You. – [Lilly] You. – You. – [Lilly] I’m just texting
my booker right now, saying “We need to get Gary on the show.” I’m kidding, we’re already working on it. – (Gary sighing) Thank you. – [Lilly] Thank you. This was a great conversation.
– This was a lot of fun. – [Lilly] Thank you, more to come. – Yeah, it really was. I really wish you nothing but success. – [Lilly] Thank you so much. Please Vayner nation support this show. Getting off to a big start on these kind of shows
unfortunately really matters. It’s just the difference of
YouTube versus network TV, the infrastructure’s on TV. I’m sure she has a long rope and they wouldn’t have signed her up, but it never hurts, and I
think an extra push matters. And so, please tonight if you
find yourself up and about, especially ’cause I know
a lot of you are hard core up at 1:30, a little social
love for the episode. Any little bit will help
her and as you can tell as she was talking, there’s so much that I agree with this wonderful woman on and more of this conversation
needs to see the earth. And so I am rooting for her heavy. And anything you guys can do for her, would mean a lot to me. Thank you. – Thank you so much, Gary. And thank you to everyone listening. (pounding) – [Woman] Great, two
things, we’re gonna do some.

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