Are You Fitter Than A Fifth Grader?


– Are we fitter than a fifth grader?
– Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning!
– Back when we were in elementary school, every year there was a set of physical
challenges instituted by the President of the United States called
The President’s Challenge. – I remember it well.
– It still happens to this day, I understand. It’s just a bunch of
different athletic exercises to compare – you to the rest of society,
– Right, yeah. – basically to promote fitness.
– Yeah. It’s really not a great thing – when you think about it,
– But for me, it promoted anxiety. ’cause it makes you think how you compare
to other students out there in America. – Yeah.
– But, the way it works is you go to the website. You can look at a chart, and
it’s like, here’s the ages and here’s the different exercises. If you’re an
11-year-old boy, you’re supposed to be – able to do this many pull-ups.
– Right. – For any exercise, it tells you.
– If you’re average, this much, but then if you wanna be in the 85th percentile,
you gotta get this many pull-ups or this – many sit-ups or run this fast.
– So here’s what we’re gonna do. We are looking at the 85th percentile
chart, so these are some athletic kids. We’re going to find out that, now that
we’re adults and we’re not really in shape, are we fitter than
an athletic fifth grader? And just to clarify, there’s a number of
different events, but we just chose our favorites in order to
compete against here. – Right.
– So I guess I’m as ready as I’m – ever gonna be.
– Let’s do it. ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
(Link) Are you fitter than a fifth grader? As you can see, we are
dressed to impress the President. All right, let’s get started with
the first event, the Sit and Reach. – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (Link) Round One: Sit and Reach The Sit and Reach: a test of
flexibility, not intelligence. (Link) We have the Sit and Reach box from
a local middle school. This thing is aged. – It is.
– But it’s still gonna do the trick. It’s gonna give us an accurate
measurement of our Sit-and-Reaching? (Rhett) We’ve given you some motivation
here. I got some Benjamins here. And there’s no way I’m gonna reach
that cash, but if I do, I get to keep it? – Well, it’s already ours.
– Oh. (laughs) – (Rhett) All right, Link.
– Something might snap. – (Link exhales loudly)
– (Rhett) 37. – Wow! I almost got the Benjamin!
– (claps) My turn! Okay, I wanna say just for the record,
that my back doctor has told me not to do – this stretch. I am forbidden to do it.
– Your back doctor told you not to do – the Sit and Reach?
– He said, “Do not do any reaches where you bend forward.” But for the sake
of internetainment, I’m gonna do it. (Link) Okay. Make this count and hold it
for at least two. Push it, Rhett, push it! (Link) Now put ‘er down.
Ooh, that’s 38 and a quarter! (triumphant roar) Aaaaagh! Yeeeah, doctor! Okay, let’s consult the Presidential
Chart. For Sit and Reach, it starts with an athletic 6-year-old can
reach to 31 centimeters. – (Rhett) Mmhmm.
– (Link) Since I got 37 centimeters, that puts me at the equivalent
of an athletic 15-year-old. (Rhett) And I, at 38 and a half, am the
equivalent of an athletic 16-year-old. – (teenager voice) Hey, Link.
– (teenager voice) Hey, Rhett. – Who’re you taking to prom?
– I don’t know, I don’t have my – license yet. I’m hoping she can take me.
– (laughs) That’s right. I’ll take you. – I can drive.
– Uh, I’d rather go with Selena. (laughs) – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (Rhett) Round Two: Curl-Ups. All right, the President calls these
curl-ups but everybody else in the world – calls these Sit-Ups.
– So I gotta hold my hands like this and I – have to touch my thighs with my elbows.
– So we gotta do as many curl-ups as we can in 60 seconds. Are you ready?
Begin curl-up in three, two, one, go! – (whistle blows)
– One, two, three– go all the way down! Four, five, six– feel the burn! Seven,
eight, nine– your face looks weird– (Link) ten, eleven, twelve–
why’re you making that face? (Link) Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen– (sped-up noises) – (groans) Aagh, aagh!
– (Stevie) …forty-three, forty-four… – (groans) Aaaaagh!
– (laughs) You give out! You gave out! What happened? You
didn’t make it sixty seconds! – (groans) Geeah! Aagh!
– (whistle blows) – (Eddie) That’s time.
– Two more. (laughs) That’s time.
How many? I lost count. – (yells) Forty-seven!
– Forty-seven. That’s a prime number;
that’s why I did it. – Switch it up.
– Okay, Link. Are you ready? – I’m ready.
– Three, two, one, go! – (whistle blows)
– (Link breathes audibly) – Why’re you breathing like that?
– Pilates. I wish I had a camera I could take–
oh, I do, I have one on my head. (laughs) – (Eddie) Fifteen.
– I’m givin’ myself a wedgie. (sped up noises) – (Link groans)
– You look very constipated. (Rhett)Veryconstipated.
Please don’t slip one out. – (laughs)
– (Eddie) Ten seconds. – (groans) Eugh, rrrgh!
– Oh, keep– keep those arms on there! – (groans) Aagh, aagh! Ahhhhh!
– (Eddie) Three, two, one. – (whistle blows)
– (claps) – (Stevie) Forty-seven.
– Forty-seven! Tiesies! – Oh! I can’t, I can’t sit up anymore.
– (laughs) – Okay, Link, I’m consulting the chart and–
– Hold on. First of all, you made me laugh, – that’s like–
– Strategy. – It was cheating.
– It’s like strategy. I was like this slow build,
and then I tied you. It doesn’t matter. Even if you got 48 or
49, both of us are still 11-year-old boys. – Really?
– 11-year-old boys. So to be– a 17-year-old boy has
to get 55 to be in the 85th percentile. Actually, you peak at 15.
15’s a good year. – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (Link) Round Three: Pull-Ups. Now we come to pull-ups, the bane
of my Presidential Challenge existence. Definitely the most
dreaded event of all of ’em. Okay, so there’s no time limit, but there
are some rules. You cannot bend your knees and you can’t kick yourself up. However,
we’re gonna have to violate the bend the – knee rule, because as you can see…
– The bar’s too low. (Rhett) Yes. I think you
can do five, Link. (Rhett) One! Two! Three! – Rah!
– Four! Look at this! – Rrgh!
– Five! Oh my goodness! – Whoooa, six! Whoa, Link! Link!
– (groans) Aaagh! – Seven! Oh my goodness!
– (groans) Aaaah. Ah, no, please! – That’s the best I can do!
– Well, I’m impressed, Link. Okay. So, the last time
I did this, I got one. – And when is the last time you did this?
– In middle school. – (laughs) Okay.
– And I don’t think I can do any more. – Well, hold on. You gotta hang.
– I can’t. I’m touchin’ the ground! – I’m enjoying this.
– Are you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one, go. Oh, there’s
one! See, you surprised yourself. Boom. Keep going. Two! Look at you! Look
at you. Don’t pop a blood vessel. Okay! – (groans)
– Three! Three! One more, one more! One more, come on! For
the President! Keep, keep going! – Aagh, I can’t do it!
– Aw. – I was givin’ you–
– Oh! I’m gettin’ lightheaded, I’m gettin’ lightheaded. Tornado
drill. Oh, me. Tornado drill. I got three! That’s an
all-time Rhett record! And I surprised myself with
seven. But good for you! You got seven, that’s unbelievable.
You should be in the Olympics. Let’s see what the chart says about this.
You got three, which makes you the equivalent of an athletic
6-and-a-half-year-old. You show me a 6-and-a-half-year-old
that can do three pull-ups. I got seven, which puts me at
the athletic 12-year-old level. Oh, you should feel
real good about yourself. – (teenager voice) Hey, I’m twelve!
– (kid voice) Can I hang out with you? No, but I’ll let you borrow a cassette
tape when I’m done with it, and you can figure out how to be cool. – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (Rhett) Round Four: Shuttle Run. And now we come to the presidential test
of agility and change of direction: – the Shuttle Run.
– Okay, typically back in the day you would run and have to pick up an eraser,
then run back and pick up another eraser – and run back.
– Chalkboard. But we are gonna give ourselves
some incentive and use chocolate eclairs. Let’s place these. Okay, Rhett, you’re going first. Now’s a
good a time as any to tell you that the winner of this challenge between the two
of us gets a tour of the Presidential RV, – which is behind this chain-link fence.
– I’ve always wanted to get in that thing! – (laughs) Ready, set, go!
– (whistle blows) – (Rhett groans) Ohhh!
– (Link) Get that eclair! Bring it back! You got one more eclair to get!
Don’t eat it, just bring it back! And he’s about to cross
that finish line… now! – (whistle blows)
– Ten seconds and eighteen… parts of a second. (speaking with mouth full) All right,
Link, 10.18 is the time to beat if you wanna beat me, and you can have an eclair.
Are you ready? Three, two, one, go! – (whistle blows)
– (Link) Rrr! (Rhett) Good form, good form.
Whup! Okay, that… that was awkward. – (Rhett) This is good! Aaaaaaand–
– (Link) Gah! – (whistle blows)
– (shouts) 10.12, Link! (Link yells) What?! You beat me by six
one-hundredths of a second! Congratulations, Link, you beat me
by six one-hundredths of a second. If you can climb that fence you can
get your tour of the Presidential RV. (Rhett) And a pattern is forming. We
are the equivalent of an 11-year-old boy. All right, celebration! – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (Link) Round Five: One-Mile Run. And now we come to the test
of any fifth-grader: the mile run. I hate the mile run! Especially when
it’s done in a square this big. Well, one of our legs is going to get
tired ’cause we’re in such a tight circle, but that’s why we’re switching directions
in the middle. We thought of everything. This is our track. When’s the last time
you ran a mile? How long has it been? Ah, nineteen years. Timer ready? – (Stevie) On your marks, get set, go!
– (whistle blows) – (both laugh)
– (Link) Why’re you going– – (Rhett) Hey, pace!
– (Link) That’s kinda slow. (Rhett) You gotta pace yourself, man! – (Rhett) It’s been a while!
– (Link) I’m draftin’! (Rhett laughs) I don’t think
there’s any draft happenin’. – (Link laughs)
– (Rhett) I’ll let you know if there is. – (Link) I’m sure we look pathetic.
– (Rhett) This is how old men run, Link! (sped up noises) – Lap?
– (crew member) Halfway. – (Link) Halfway, let’s turn around.
– (both audibly breathing) (sped up noises) (Rhett) You gotta look good
comin’ around the end. – (Rhett grunts)
– (Eddie) Heyyy! – (Link) I gotta keep goin’.
– (Rhett) Yeah. – (Link) How many more?
– (Rhett claps) – (Stevie) Five more.
– (Rhett) Come on, Link! (claps) (Rhett) You can do it, brother!
I’ve already done it! I’ve been there! (Rhett) I’ve been to the top of the
mountain! I’ve been to the back of the parking lot! And I survived to tell the
story! It could be a rather long story ’cause it seems like it’s gonna
take you a while to finish! (sped up noises) – (Stevie) Time!
– Personal best! All right. Link, you’re running a little
behind today, but I think the turn– – Yeah. Obviously.
– impacts this at least fifty percent, – so I’m gonna give me a 6:20…
– (out of breath) Wha? And I’m gonna give you a 7:45.
So that puts me at a 15-year-old boy… – (Link) Congratulations.
– (Rhett) And that puts you at about 11-year-old again. You’re
still an 11-year-old. – ♪ (patriotic music) ♪
– (in unison) Sorry, Mr. President. Ah. That run was demoralizing, just like
every other run I’ve ever done in my life. – Am I doing something wrong?
– Well… – My posture was right!
– I think it was that the circle – was a little tight.
– (laughs) But I will say this: We have done the
math, and Link, congratulations. – We are both fitter than a fifth grader.
– Yaaaaaaay! We’re sixth graders, right? We’re sixth graders. We averaged out all
the numbers and I have the age equivalent of an 11.8-year-old. But Link, you did it,
buddy. You’re a 12.3-year-old. We were very close, but the pull-ups really sent
you over the top. You win the Presidential Challenge!
You win the trophy! – ♪ (dramatic music) ♪
– I feel the love of the President. And what’s that? Your phone–
your phone is ringing! – Is it? It is.
– That’s weird! – Hello?
– (man’s voice) Hello? This is Barack. – Hello, Mr. President.
– (man’s voice) How’re you? – (laughs) I’m good, how’re you?
– (man’s voice) I’m sorry, who’d you say – you were?
– I’m Link. I just won your challenge. (man’s voice) Yeah, I hear you had a
question for me! We wanted to call up – and answer it personally.
– Yeah, uh… yeah! Um… (laughs nervously) How have you
done on your challenge? – (man’s voice) What do you mean?
– I mean, haven’t you done – your own challenge?
– (man’s voice) Why don’t you come by on Sunday? I mean it this time. Okay…? – (man’s voice) Bye.
– (Rhett and crew laugh) – Bye.
– That’s the President! – You talked to the President!
– I feel like I’m in trouble! It’s like I’ve been called
into the President’s office! – What’s gonna happen on Sunday?
– I know! I’ll let you know on Monday! (both laugh) – Thanks for liking and commenting.
– (in unison) You know what time it is. – My name is Esme.
– I’m Marty. We live in Meriden, New Hampshire. (in unison) And it’s time to
spin the Wheel of Mythicality! Remember to submit your winning face,
hashtag #GMMWinFace wherever hashtags are accepted on the
internet. We will find it. And click through to Good Mythical More
where we share our P.E. gym class experiences from high school.
It’s gonna get a little… storytellish! – (Link and crew laugh)
– Rhett is married to a tuna fish. – Hey man.
– Hey! – Have I told you about my woman?
– (laughs) Ah, no! Tell it– – My wife. I’m married to her.
– Really? Congratulations! – You got married?
– To a tuna fish. (laughs) A living tuna fish? Or is
it, like, dead? Is it prepared? – She’s in a can.
– Oooh. [Captioned by Caitrin:
GMM Captioning Team]

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