“Are Traps Gay?” | ContraPoints

“Are Traps Gay?” | ContraPoints

(suspenseful music) – Hello, my devilish darlings,
it is I, Lenora LaVey, your hostess of horror,
and I’m here to warn you that some viewers may find
tonight’s program disturbing. There will be discussion
of transphobic slurs and violence, and graphic displays of anime. Ugh. So if that’s gonna make you
sad, please don’t watch this, unless you enjoy sadness. I know I do. But your macabre mother wants
you to take care of yourself. So here, I made you a wet pot of hot tea, and you can take it out on the balcony, and pour it on some pedestrians. That always cheers me up. One. Traps. – Gentlemen of the academy,
it is my duty to submit to you the findings of my
latest memetic research. Many sleepless nights have
I lingered in all the great libraries of Europe
scrutinizing volumes ancient and modern in search of the answer to two fundamental questions. What are traps? And be they gay? With respect to the
former inquiry, I adduce for your consideration a
treatise by the lady scholar known as ThePedanticRomantic
wherein the derivation of the word trap is traced to patrons of animated pictures from the orient. Curious. The chronicle begins in the first years of the present century when
devotees of picture forums would proclaim the idiom, it’s a trap, alongside the likeness
of one Admiral Ackbar, to suggest that some manner
of deception had taken place. Contemporaneous to this
was a most whimsical mania for depictions of nymphic
Japonesques, to some of which the aforementioned
slogan would be rejoined. The implication being that
the subject of the portrait was not in sooth a daughter
of Eve, but rather that the spectator had fallen
prey to some manner of transvestite skullduggery. Furthermore, it appears
that, from the first, the designation trap
has signified not only transvestites, but transsexuals as well. And this must needs be
remarked, for tis evident such persons ofttimes inflame
the lust of ordinary men. It is hence with respect
to this phenomenon I pose my second question
thus, fellas, is it gay? – I’m sorry, who are you talking to? – Gentlemen of the academy! – Did you get thrown of Dairy Queen again? – It must needs be remarked. – Please stop breaking into my house. – I shall be the queen of dairy. – I’m sure you will be. Crossdresser. Hi, I’m Natalie Wynn, biological woman. Can we pan the camera down? My hair is less high. Are Traps Gay? The meme that will not die. Originating around 15 years ago on 4chan, the word trap refers to
either a male crossdresser or a trans woman,
especially in the context of neotenous kawaii decadence. The meme, Are Traps Gay?
is a mostly jokey debate about the sexuality of men who
are attracted to dickgirls, futanari, MTFs, you know a
lot of these men don’t know or care about the difference
between a trans woman and a crossdresser, so
it’s kind of pointless to get hung up on that. The meme peaked in
popularity around a year ago, after someone released the worst specimens of the White race into the wild. – Are traps are gay? – One of life’s most important question. – Are traps are gay. – Traps are gay. Yes. Will there be transsexuals in
the ethnostate, hopefully not. – To the men who meme about this topic, it’s all lighthearted fun. It’s part of a wider game
they like to play called, Is It Gay? You know, is it gay to
have an MMF threesome? Only if the balls touch. – Don’t cross the streams. – And so on. But to many trans women
the meme and the word trap itself are highly offensive. In fact, last year when I first proposed making a video about this
topic, many trans people on Twitter were outraged because they felt that this subject is just
too harmful to even discuss. So here’s the challenge
I face with this video, on the one hand there are
people who are gonna be upset and offended that I’m making
a video about this topic at all, and on the other
hand there are people who think this is just
harmless otaku shitposting and who will be annoyed by
all the trigger warnings. But first, to the people who
think it’s too offensive, here’s what I have to say for myself. I have always believed that if
you want to persuade anyone, it helps to meet them where there’re at. And in this case, Are Traps
Gay? is where people are at. At one of my YouTube meetups
I met a high school teacher who told me that he overheard
some of his male students joking in the hallway about Are Traps Gay? When those teenage boys go
home and google Are Traps Gay? who do you want to explain it to them? Your choices are Milo
Yiannopoulos, this guy, a Scottish hate crime
convict named Count Dankula, or this tran. And at the risk of sounding arrogant, I think it should be me. You know, as trans women
we have little influence in society. The people who lead the
conversations about us are bigger and stronger than we are. So we’re like a jogger
racing against a car. The only way to win is to hijack the car. And so this video is my attempt to hijack the conversation that straight
men are having about us. As always my aspiration is
to derive a woke conclusion from edgy premises, to shitpost my way to the moral high ground. Now, straight men, isn’t
all this offense-taking just more politically
correct cuckoldry designed to take away your free speech? Well, I assure you there
will be no taking of your free speech on this channel, unless you clock my makeup,
dickbag, comment deleted. But if you want to know why
trans women are offended by Are Traps Gay? I’m happy to
tell you, not to silence you of course, but just in case
you have the intellectual curiosity to want to know why
someone different from you might be hurt by something
that to you seems harmless to you. So, well, let’s put it this way. Two. Trans Panic. The 1990 documentary
Paris Is Burning depicts the ball culture of black and
Latinx gay and transgender people in New York City in the late 1980s. One of the main storylines
follows a trans woman named Venus Xtravangaza who describes
her precarious existence as a sex worker. – [Venus] I was with a
guy and he was playing with my titties till he
touched me down there. He felt it and he seen it and
he, like, totally flipped out. He said, You fucking faggot! You’re a freak! You’re a victim of AIDS and
you’re trying to give me AIDS. What, are you crazy? You’re a homo! I should kill you! And, like, I was really
terrified, so I just jumped out the window. – During the filming of Paris Is Burning, Venus was choked to death,
presumably by a client. Her body was discovered four
days later under a hotel bed. Trans women, in my country
almost entirely trans women of color, are murdered at
a disgracefully high rate, reaching a record of 29 deaths in 2017. The men who murder trans
women often claim that they were provoked to violence
by the alleged deception of their victims. This is what’s called
the trans panic defense when legally invoked, as in the 2004 trial of the killers of teenage
trans girl Gwen Araujo. One of these killers, who
had sex with Gwen before learning she was trans,
cried I can’t be fucking gay before beating her to death. Men are often willing to
side with these killers, saying that if trans women
don’t want to be murdered then they shouldn’t trick men. But what you have to understand
is first men usually do know when they’re sleeping
with a trans woman, I mean if you have a dick
it’s pretty hard to have sex with someone without them
noticing it, and second, a lot of men view trans
women’s entire existence as itself a kind of trickery. A black trans woman named
Islan Nettles was murdered in Harlem in 2013 by a man
whose friends had mocked him for flirting with her. All she did to “provoke”
him was walk down the street with two friends. The common thread here is
not deception on the part of the victims, but rather
the drive of the killers to protect their social standing
as masculine and straight. And being perceived as a
kind of fraudulent lure is something that many trans
women across class and race experience some version of. Because men view femininity
itself as an enticement, as the orchidaceous
invitation to a proboscis. I was just reading a Twitter
thread by a trans woman who was attacked recently
by a man at a bar who started flirting with
her until he realized she was trans, and then punched her. Like what was she supposed
to do to stop that from happening, just stay at home? For trans women, fears about
men retaliating against us for existing actually limit our freedom. There’s bars I won’t go
into because I don’t trust the clientele to side with me if some shit like that goes down. And I’ve had little scares. I was in the back of an Uber
once, and the driver comes on a little flirty, you
know, What’s your name? Are you a student? And I’m thinking Wow, he
thinks I’m young enough to be a student. But at some point he
goes silent and suddenly I’m getting a very icy glare
in the rear view mirror, like f*cking clocked, and
for a second I’m like, f*ck I’m going to die
in the back of this car. And of course I didn’t
die, the rest of the ride was quiet, but it was fine. I’m gonna be fine because
white middle-class transsexuals don’t get
murdered in this country. The murder issue exists
at a specific intersection of gender, class, and
race, and it’s really not my oppression to claim. You know sometimes I hear
White bougie middle-class computer-programmer trans women be like “we’re being murdered in the streets!” Who’s we? It’s not white middle-class trans women. So the trans panic murder
issue is really not my lane. It exists at this intersection
of masculinity and race, and that’s just not a
conversation that should be lead by a white woman
especially when there’s so, so, so many things to
critique about White masculinity. Let’s talk about some now. Three. Taking Offense. Okay, back to traps. Now this is my lane. I’m not sure anything has
ever been more my lane. Ah the exquisite pleasure of
being entitled to the soapbox. So, boys, I’ve showed you
how trans women’s freedom is abridged by our need
to navigate around men who view our gender
presentation, in fact our very existence as a kind of trap. I think it should therefore
be pretty clear why trans women are not the
biggest fans of you using that word for us, or for
futanari, or crossdressers, or whatever. I mean to be honest if
someone calls me a trap my response is more like
wow, a transphobe thought I looked like a woman! But that’s because I’m
so pathetic I have to go dumpster diving for validation. But the rest of the trans women out there, the ones with dignity and self-respect, you should definitely not call them traps. Of course some trans women
will overstate the case and say “the word trap is
literally getting trans women killed,” which, I can’t find
any cases of the word trap being connected to a murder,
but why don’t we stop using the word before someone dies, hmm? Because what you’re doing when
you call trans women traps is you’re showing us that
you think of us in the exact same way as the men who try
to justify attacking us. When a man kills a trans
woman literally the argument he trots out in court
is that he was trapped. And that’s what you’re
reminding us of when you use that word, that’s why
trans women are getting triggered over it. You know, sometimes
people have good reasons for being triggered by things, and this is one of those times. So, if I were a different kind of creator, I could really end this video now. I think I’ve made a pretty
convincing case that trans women are justifiably
offended by the word trap. But, if I leave it at that,
and this is for you Twitter, this is why I’m making this
video, if I simply argue that Are Traps Gay? is offensive,
then here’s what happens. First, a lot of people
simply don’t give a shit, and in fact my telling
them that it’s offensive will only make them want to
say it more, because they feel on a deep level that
they are by nature superior to trans people, and so an
uppity tr*nny telling them what words they’re allowed to say just completely enrages them. So they’ll comment “traps are
gay lel” just to reaffirm their superiority over me and
that I have no power or influence over them. And there’s really nothing
I can do about those people. But another group of people,
the socially progressive liberals, they’ll say, okay,
so since you’re offended by it, I won’t say the word trap anymore. And they’ll act super woke
about it, and they’ll post Twitter callouts canceling
anyone who says trap, and they’ll be very
respectful and compassionate towards trans people in public,
so long as it makes them look good to indulge and pity this tragic Third World country of a gender minority. But then, they’ll go home at
night, and in that twilight moment between consciousness and sleep, their inner voice will
whisper, “but are traps gay?” And then, years later
when their son brings home a transgender girlfriend
we’ll suddenly watch all that shallow wokeness vanish like so much politically correct vapor. Real acceptance has to be
built on real understanding. So it’s just not enough
for me to argue that Are Traps Gay? is offensive. I also have to argue
whether traps are gay. So are traps gay? Let’s watch an instructional
video to learn more. (electronic music) Four. The Philosopher. – Hello, boys, it is I
the half-queen, Points. After 30 days and 30 nights
the philosopher descended from the mountaintop and
to the gathered villagers thus spake, Are Traps Gay? said he. To whom the half-queen thus
replied, Hmm, let’s see. Let me think about it. Oh. I’m gonna stop saying trap now
because it’s not a good word, as has been explained,
in fact it’s really best to treat it like a slur. So what we’re really asking
here is if a man is attracted to or has sex with a trans
woman, is that gay? Well the simple answer is no
because trans women are women and a man having sex with a woman is, let’s see here, according to
the experts I’ve consulted, it is not in fact gay. But that’s not the most
persuasive answer because in order to find it convincing you
already have to believe that trans women are women. And unfortunately if you ask
the average person about this what they say is something
like, “yeah sure I think trans women are women,
BUT they shouldn’t expect that men will want to
date them, unless they’re into that sort of thing” Oh? And what sort of thing is that? Usually when a man tells
you he’s dating a woman and you say “oh what’s she
like” and he says “well she’s from Cincinnati,” your
response is not, “Oh, David I didn’t realize you were
into that sort of thing.” In other words, these people
tell you trans women are women, but and then they say something that shows they don’t really think
trans women are women at all. So since test audiences have
proven shaky on that point, it would basically be circular
reasoning for me to try to argue that attraction
to trans women isn’t gay because trans women are
women, since the womanhood of trans women is precisely the point that’s being questioned. Maybe the observational
approach is better. The facts are indisputable,
many heterosexual men are attracted to trans
women and comparatively few gay men are. Now to trans women this
is just an obvious fact about our everyday
experience in the world. We know who’s attracted
to us and who isn’t, so to us this completely
unnecessary debate is as impractical as
the question of whether the sun will rise tomorrow. Sure, philosophers can
say, “but how do we know the sun will rise tomorrow?” To which the correct response
is “shut the fuck up, nerd, stop playing 3D chess
against your own brain and find a real thing to worry about.” It’s just a basic fact of
experience that the sun rises every morning, and for trans
women it’s a basic fact of experience that the people
who are attracted to us, are people who are attracted to women. Of the cis men I’ve been with
since I started my transition, all identify as straight,
and all had only been with cis women before
this tran came along. Am I really so powerful a
seductress that lifetime heterosexuals are turning
gay over these tiny tits? Let’s not get… cocky. I mean if a man is attracted
to women, and not to men, and he perceives me as a
woman and is attracted to me as a woman, and he sleeps
with me, and then continues being attracted to women and
not to men, in what world is that anything, but a straight man? What wild maze of reasoning
do you have to invent to argue that this man is really gay? Well, we all know exactly how
this maze of reasoning goes, beginning with the obvious. What about the penis? Ah yes, the penis. Look, baby, we’ll get
to the penis, don’t you worry about that. But first I should remind
everyone that a lot of trans women do in fact have
vaginas because they got. Five, the surgery. In fact I’ve been thinking
of signing up for a vagina myself, but the thing
is I make too much money for medicaid now, so
I have to form an LLC, become my own employee and
give myself health benefits, and it’s all so much paperwork. You have to become an
unincorporated legal entity in this country just
to get a f*cking c*nt. Of course, transphobic
radical feminists will say that it’s not a real
vagina, just a f*ckhole, because a real vagina is a sacred passage. And that’s fine by me. What am I gonna do with
a sacred passage anyway, get fingered by the pope? Pass! Straight men don’t get hung
up on this, I guarantee you no man has ever thought of a
vagina as a sacred passage, they’re either grossed out by
it or trying to climb inside. What I’m trying to say
is, in the past I’ve been a little uncertain about
getting a vagina because my genital dysphoria isn’t
that bad and besides, chicks with dicks are very in right now, very 2019, very trending. And being a dickgirl,
it’s kind of like being a legendary Pokemon, you know? People take interest,
people pay attention to you, and isn’t that what we all want? But, unfashionable though
it is, I do think I want the surgery because
well, guys can I confess something kind of dark to you? I have this really fucked
up fetish where I want a boy to put his penis in my vagina. Crazy right? I mean I like anal, but
you know the gross thing about anal is you have to eat well, ew. I don’t want to eat well. I want to shove garbage into my mouth hole and get dicked, is that a crime? It is kind of a scary surgery though, like what if my vagina sucks? I have some bad news, the tests are back and are showing that, in
the medical terminology, your vagina does indeed suck. The point is, the easy-sell
version of the argument I’m making is that there
is nothing homosexual about a man’s attraction
to a trans woman who’s been on hormones for a couple years. She has female skin,
she smells like a woman, she has breasts, she’s
giving hair body face, she’s post-op and has a vagina. Now even in this situation
people will say it’s gay because of the chromosomes. But look, human beings have five senses and none of them can detect chromosomes. Sexual attraction is not based on some chromosomal metaphysics of gender. It’s based on perception,
and if you’re a man, and you perceive someone as
a woman, and you’re attracted to her as a woman, then you
are having a heterosexual moment, my dude. Congratulations, you’re a breeder. Now the argument people
make is that well okay fine, it’s straight if you mistake
her for a biological woman, but if you know she’s a man
and you’re still attracted then it’s gay. So look, if you believe
that trans women are men, then that belief might
interfere with your perceptions, and it might change the
relationship between your perceptions and your sexual response. But more likely is that you
still will feel attraction to the trans woman, only,
if you value your identity as a straight man, you’ll feel
ashamed of your attraction, and you’ll try to fight it and
deny it, and you’ll probably end up treating trans women
like absolute garbage. Now if I wanted to make the
SJW 101-type response here, I would say that trans women
are women because they identify as women, and so every
heterosexual man who’s experienced attraction to a trans woman
is necessarily experiencing heterosexual attraction
because of the way the person he’s attracted to identifies. But that’s just replacing
the black-and-white thinking of the biology dogma with
the black-and-white thinking of an identity dogma. But human sexuality is
not black and white. It’s not even shades of gray. It’s like a multicolor
acid trip, it’s centaur Donna Summer charging at
you with a spanking paddle. So sexual attraction is
not based on chromosomes, but it’s usually not based on
psychological identity either. Most of the time initial
attraction anyway is based on what I’d call presentation,
how you look and act. And I think that’s especially
true of men, they get turned on by that initial visual pop, they see, they conquer, they come. You have to admire the simplicity of it. Sometimes I wish I were a man. So look, if what you
want is a woman who pops, then rest assured there are
plenty of trans women who pop. Maybe you don’t think I pop
but you’d be hard-pressed to argue that any number of
trans models and actresses don’t pop as much as any cis woman pops. So the pop is undeniable, no
one’s questioning the pop. In fact without the pop, it
would never have occurred to men to call trans women
traps because they wouldn’t be trapped if they weren’t
attracted in the first place. But a lot of men seem
to think that the pop, the visual presentation of a trans women, is some kind of illusion or
facade, which at some point will be dropped, revealing
that our womanhood is a sham and that we’re really men. Now here’s a big difference
between dating a trans woman and dating a drag queen. If you date a cis drag queen,
at some point you’re getting a man, honey, as explained
by the only good YouTuber, Jasmine Masters. – I don’t want to date
nobody that want to date me like this because this
comes off and you not doing nothing with this. – But if you date me
there’s no de-dragging, there’s never a moment
where I become a man. Baby, what you see is what you got. At least on this side,
this is my natural side. And this side is my biological side. – [Ben] We’re discussing
people who are trans we immediately scan the first
paragraph of trans women and then refer to them by
their biological pronoun because biology is (music
drowns out speaker). – Everyone’s always hating on trans women for being stereotypically feminine. So why do you think that in the bedroom we’d be any other way? Part of it is that people
are really ignorant about hormone replacement
therapy and what that does for trans women. It feminizes our skin, our
smell, our body fat distribution, it makes us grow breasts. That’s right, these are my very real, very biological titties. I mean I’m wearing a
push-up bra, but at least there’s something to push up now. Here, I’ll show you. I mean they’re small, but
it’s not by any measure a male chest, and what
I have is very real, very biological, and very female. You people think everything to
do with trans women is fake. Fake voice, fake boobs, fake hair. But that’s prejudice
more than observation, like I’ve noticed that
whether or not I actually wear a wig in a video has exactly zero effect on how many people comment
to call me a man in a wig. So I may as well just wear wigs. And I may as well get my
boobs done too since people are gonna call them fake either way. But for what it’s worth
this is my real hair, at least this half, and
these are my real boobs, and if I bring a home
a gentleman, or a lady, all that stays on in
bed, and it’s there when I wake up in the morning. But what about the penis? All right, all right. Look, if the penis is
feminine, how is that gay? I rest my case, roll credits. ♪ You can make me you ♪ – Six. The Feminine Penis. Look, some guys want the Ts and the D. And that’s the T. Now a lot of people assume
that the involvement of a dick, even a ladydick, makes any sexual interaction with a man gay. But isn’t male homosexuality
usually understood as the attraction to men and not merely to penises wherever they may arise. I think there are probably
some gay men who really just like dick, and I’m
not judging, I’m not here to attack anyone’s preferences. But being a straight
man, I don’t really think that’s best understood as
a man attracted to vaginas. You call women pussy, but
then you’re always like, “ew periods, I’m a straight
man, I’m not used to putting a towel down
when I f*ck, I don’t know how to use a condom because
I just expect cis women to be on birth control
and do everything for me.” And you have straight
incels online calling labia roast beef and generally putting on a show of vaginal disgust, I mean if
you’re gonna date cis women or post-op trans women I think
you really owe it to them to be a little more vagina-positive. ‘Cause at the same time,
even though straight men are like, “ew dicks,
that’s gay,” you guys also kinda love dicks? You’re always drawing them,
your buildings look like dicks, your porn all has dicks in it. So what about dicks on chicks? Well men like chicks and men like dicks, so what’s the problem, officer? I think the booming
popularity of tgirl porn speaks for itself. On Pornhub the Shemale
category contains more videos than other such popular
categories as rough sex, orgy, and webcam. And it’s mostly straight men who watch it. When adultempire.com
moved their tgirl content from their gay site to
their straight site, views increased 50%. In the 2016, the same
year North Carolina passed a transphobic and
discriminatory bathroom bill, the adult site GameLink’s
top selling titles in North Carolina were
My Transsexual Teacher, Shemale Shenanigans, and Joey
Silvera’s Trans-Visions 6. A lot of straight men first
find out about trans women through porn, which is not
great since most tgirl porn is not trans-positive, and
uses dehumanizing slurs like “shemale” and “tranny.” Which is how you end
up living in a country full of people who will jerk off to you, but won’t give you rights. So to a lot of men that’s
the representation we have, trannys, shemales, and Caitlyn Jenner. Great! I love that for us. Now there probably are
some men who will always be put off by a woman’s having
a dick, and you know what? That’s fine. Not every man can be a
poet, a visionary, a sage. You like what you like. I’m not here to police anyone’s desires. In fact quite the opposite,
I’m here to liberate men of sophisticated taste
from society’s cruel and unjust prejudice against
their tgirl-loving ways. But liberation begins with understanding so who are the men who love trans girls? Well according to the
trans women I’ve talked to and my own personal
experience, the men who date us can be divided into three general groups. Group one, are men who,
to be honest, are actually kind of put off by the dick,
but they’re so attracted to the woman it’s attached
to that they’re willing to work around it, or wait
for it to um grow on them. Group two are men who are
attracted to trans women including their penises,
but they don’t specifically fetishize the penis
either, and wouldn’t mind if their trans lover
had genital reassignment and got a vagina. And then group three are men
who specifically fetishize chicks with dicks, and
often want to worship the penis or be penetrated by it. Now group three are what the
trans community calls chasers. Dating chasers is generally
a bad idea because their attraction to us is
based around fetishizing our genitals, which is
often the part of us that we are most uncomfortable with. So if you’re a tgirl who
likes men, then group two is really Goldilocks perfection
unless you really like topping or you’ve had the surgery. Now I should say that
group two does include some bisexual men. And bisexual people of
either gender can be great partners if you’re trans. You like girls, you like
dick, I’m a girl with a dick, let’s make this happen. That said, if someone views
that part of me as male, and wants me to do with
it what men do with it, then pass, I’m not interested in that. Now you might be wondering
“what is this postmodern neo-Marxist SJW insanity,
how could I view it as anything other than a male
part, it’s a f*cking penis.” Well I’m so glad you asked, I always jump at the opportunity to enlighten someone about the ecstasies of the feminine penis. You see, there are three factors
that make a penis feminine, context, usage, and physiology. So first, context. Picture in your mind’s
eye a feminine woman. Now picture her with a penis. That’s not a man’s penis,
that’s a woman’s penis. It’s feminine because of
the context that it’s in. Second, usage, a lesson
in penis etiquette: A gentleman need not
be coy about his penis. He may flaunt, he may
brandish, he may tug, he may penetrate, he may
order you to get on your knees like a good girl and (bleeps). Whereas, it is a truth
universally acknowledged that a lady of good breeding
never brandishes her penis. When she rises from the bath
she covers it gracefully with a demure hand, and
when not in use she keeps it carefully stowed away. Here’s how to tuck your penis like a lady. The first step is to
put on a set of vicious stilletto claws. It doesn’t make things any easier, but it does build character. Next, you want to take
not one, but two pairs of cotton-lined poly/spandex
bikini-cut panties, at least one size two
small, and pull them most of the way up your legs. Now there’s no way to put
this delicately, my dears. You’re going to take your
claws and you’re going to grab your scrotum, and you’re
gonna yank that bubblegum back into your peach crease. Now hold it in place with one
hand and with your other hand you push your penis back,
pressing those little eggs up into your pelvis. Bring your thighs together
to hold all that in place, and pull your panties up
front first, then back, run your hand over it to make
sure nothing’s seeping out the sides and voila, it’s
like it was never there. For more information,
you can purchase my book, Tuck Your Penis, with a new forward by Dr Jordan B Peterson. I’ve now explained both
the context and the usage of the feminine penis, so let
us now turn to the physiology. Most people don’t realize that
taking feminizing hormones actually changes the
anatomy and functionality of the genitals,
shrinking everything down, and softening everything up. That means changes to a little
thing not a lot of people are talking about, but
something I’ve been trying to raise awareness of, start a
conversation, open a dialogue, you know really get people talking about. Seven, The Mouthfeel. – Oh, hi, it’s me Natalie
Wynn, your tasting specialist. I have tasted everything,
the royal flush of oral sex. Girl dick, boy dick,
girl pussy, and let us not forget about the masculine clitoris. But today, we amuse the palette
with the feminine penis. Now with respect to
flavor, the feminine penis has more sweetness than the
masculine penis, and a fewer truffle notes, while retaining
the fundamental dick umami. With with respect to
mouthfeel, the feminine penis is of course softer and smoother
than the masculine penis, and does not become as turgid. And as for the cum taste,
well, it is a known fact that girl cum is clear,
liquid, and tastes of saline, while boy come is milky,
viscous, and more acidic. It is therefore the
consensus among sommeliers, that sucking a female penis is not gay. Cheers. (suspenseful music) – Eight. Being Straight Is Pretty Gay. So I’ve been trying to
clear up some misconceptions about sex with trans women. But ultimately you kind
of have to try it yourself to fully understand viscerally understand why sex with a trans
woman is sex with a woman. Now we must always be wary
of being over-simplistic in our thinking. Sexuality is complicated,
and while it is undeniable that many straight men are
attracted to trans women, the messy reality is that
a lot of straight men who are attracted to male crossdressers. Before I transitioned
I was a crossdresser, and I didn’t present super womanly either, like fully Dr Frank-N-Furter. And that’s why I’m so iconic. I showed the world that in
two years you can transition from literally Dr
Frank-N-Furter to a very real, very biological drag queen. But even when I was that
baritone-voiced transvestite I still got semi-regular
messages from men being like, “so I’m a straight man, but I’m
like really attracted to you when you dress like a
woman and it’s really making me question my sexuality.” Now I could flatter myself
with some kind of retcon and be like “well maybe
those men just picked up on my inherently womanly
female energy essence that I’ve always had since I
was born a female biological soul trapped in the body
of a crossdressing baby.” But let’s be real. There are straight men
who f*ck crossdressers, there are straight men
who f*ck drag queens, there are straight-identifying men who f*ck other straight-identifying men. What is going on here? Straight men, what is your deal? Who are you? What is your life? How did you become straight? Did they recruit you? Were you groomed? I blame the parents. Let’s go back to that game
that you guys like to play, the game I call, Is This Gay? The commonly understood
definition of homosexual acts is that they’re sex acts between
people of the same gender. But I’ve heard men argue that
if a woman puts on a strap on and pegs a guy, then that’s
gay, or that it’s gay if a man enjoys a woman
touching his nipples. To be clear we’re talking
about one man and one woman, Eve sucking Adam’s nipples,
and according to these men it’s totally gay. What that shows us is that
the idea of heterosexuality includes much more than just
sex between a man and a woman. It actually encompasses a
complex series of rituals that must be performed
by people who are playing the correct roles. So if a man deviates from his
assigned part in the approved bedroom activities, then
according this very fragile view of heterosexuality, he
ceases to be straight. Even a man’s relationship
with his own body is policed by these narrow confines. For instance some men won’t
even wash their own assholes for fear that some involuntary
twinge of anal pleasure might transform them
irrevocably into raving homos. And to be fair before I washed my asshole I was a quarterback. Now I’m a cheerleader! V-I-C-T-O-R-Y don’t tell
the coach I was a guy! This obsession with the
details of what sex is allowed and what prohibited reminds
me of what psychologist Jonathan Haidt calls an ethics
of purity and degradation. Basically, it’s a style of
moral thinking, that treats the body as a temple
that must be protected from desecration, which
means you have to obey laws about how you can f*ck
and what you can eat, so for example religious dietary laws. I think this hypermasculine
hetero man code is basically an ethics of purity, a kind
of kosher law governing straightness, and the Is This
Gay? game is its theology. Now this whole line of
thinking has been reduced to absurdity pretty effectively
by, of all people, Count Dankula. – If you class yourself as a straight man and you’re masturbating, that means that you’re touching a dick, and that’s gay. – Well meme’d my lord well meme’d. – The pinnacle of the
whole discussion is reached when Dankula concludes
that since a woman inherits half her DNA from her father,
she is technically half a man, and therefore having sex
with a woman is pretty gay. Obviously this is shitposting,
but it’s logically just as good an argument as traps are gay because chromosomes. I think what we have
here is a very bad theory about what it is to be gay. So what is being gay? Socrates. Uh, on second thought I don’t know her. Nine, Being Gay Is Good Actually. Sometimes when you’ve been
arguing about something for more than half an hour,
it’s good to take a step back and ask yourself, why are
we even asking this question in the first place? Why does it even matter whether
attraction to trans women is gay or straight? It seems like the most
pressing reason is a lot of men equate straightness with
manhood, and they defend their manhood at all costs. Now men, this might to
be difficult to hear, and maybe you don’t
want to hear it from me, but this idea of manhood is hurting you, and it’s hurting cis women,
it’s hurting trans women, and it’s hurting gay people. For one thing, it makes you
really, really bad at sex. Who wants to sleep with a guy
who’s so hung up on homophobic paranoia that he can’t
even enjoy his own body? Having your nipples sucked
does not make you gay. Being pegged does not make you gay. Sucking another man’s dick just to try it, does not make you gay. And why? Because being gay is a
socially constructed identity defined as a type of
person who is persistently attracted to people of the same gender. If you’re persistently
attracted to people of the same gender, and you identify
with the word gay, then you’re gay. If not, then you’re not,
and nothing you can do will change that. So that’s one reason to
stop worrying about this, and reason two is that
being gay is good actually. I mean, why would you
be worried about this if you didn’t think being gay was bad? Now I don’t identify as
gay except in some pan-LGBT cultural sense-we, the
gays-but as a queer person I can’t help but be a
little wounded by the fact that straight men are
so obsessed with proving that they aren’t like us. But that is not a wound
I am going to dwell on because life is much too
short for me to waste any more time processing your homophobic baggage. Are Traps Gay? Baby, who cares. Just do what feels good. That’s the simple answer. But the truth is that when
people say traps are gay, but there’s nothing wrong
with being gay that’s nothing but a sneaky attempt to
call trans women men, and to reinforce the
stigma against dating us among the group that is in
fact most attracted to us. Because it’s mostly straight
men, and not gay men, who like us. And the gay stigma is the
reason why only a small fraction of the men
who are attracted to us are willing to openly date us. And the stigma is very real. A straight man who dates
a trans woman takes on some of the burden of queerness. Men who date us can be
mocked by other men, they can be rejected by their families, they experience in short,
a sample of the difficultly all queer people face. But a real man, in my opinion,
is not the kind of man who lets other people’s
prejudices control his life. A real man does not act
like an insecure little boy afraid of what people will say about him. A real man owns what he
likes and is not ashamed of the women he loves. And so, my edgy little
boys, by that measure, I may be a woman, but I’m
still more of a man than you. 10. I Have Feelings Too. – Well I guess today we
learned that Are Traps Gay? is not a debate worth
winning, because just by participating, we’re
accepting the validity of an insincere question and the bigoted assumptions it relies on. Now, some harsh words have
been said about men tonight, and I think that harshness is deserved. #NotAllGamers. But also this video completely
centers men’s feelings, and I have feelings too
goddamn it, and some of those feelings aren’t
all that different from the anxieties men have. Lemme explain. Lemme explain. So, I identify my sexuality
as queer and poly, which in my case is
politically correct terminology for confused slutbag. Before I transitioned I dated
women, and I still do have lesbicious and lesbaniacal
feelings, but early in my transition I encountered
a lot of TERF shit and it really scared me
off dating cis lesbians, which I never have. Even before I transitioned the question, “do I want to fuck men?” had
been in the back of my head for a long time, and then
a year ago I was like I want to fuck men. I want to fuck men. But when I first started
messing around with men, I mean I was terrified. Because men are scary, and
in my early transition, I’d only dated bisexual
trans people and enbies, and just as an aside,
some of those experiences were really revelatory. A person with a vagina
can be fully a man in bed. That teaches you something about gender that might be hard to learn otherwise. And loving a trans woman, like
I still sometimes do struggle to fully believe that I’m a real woman, but to experience another trans woman, not just as a woman,
but as the radiant model of womanhood that’s an experience
that’s meant a lot to me and if you’re attracted to
women and that’s an experience you haven’t had, you’re missing out. But what I was gonna say is bisexual trans and non-binary people are
a safe group of people to date when you’re early in
transition because they’re pretty chill about
anatomy and presentation. But if you’re gonna date cishet
men, you need to be serving woman, I guess you don’t need
to be, but it doesn’t hurt, and I did wonder if I
was woman enough for it. So the first couple times I was so afraid, I was like when I take my
clothes off is he gonna think I’m a man, I mean basically
my anxiety was are traps gay? But what I ended up
doing is just working up to things gradually. And of course you start by sucking dick. That’s very safe because
like what red-blooded man is going to turn down a tgirl blowjob, and it doesn’t involve my junk in any way. Then I got a little bolder
and I got with a guy who like years ago before
I transitioned we’d been guy friends, so to then
have a sexual experience where it was very much
between a man and woman, like that shit is super hot. Recently I took what seemed
like the biggest risk and I let a straight guy go down on me, which I was so nervous
about because I was like, what if he thinks I’m a
man, what if he’s repulsed? Can you feel like a woman while
your dick is being sucked? The answer is yes. It was so hot. I loved it, he loved it,
and just knowing that he’d never done that before,
but I was just so special 10 out of 10. And you know what he told me after? He told me he liked the mouthfeel. Everyone’s talking about it now, bitches. So look I really don’t want to
shame men for feeling anxious about dating trans women
because I mean I was anxious too in the other direction. But I do want to shame men
for treating trans women like their dirty little secrets. And I do want to shame
men for dehumanizing us and voting away our rights
by day, while jerking off to shemale porn by night. I do want to shame men
for refusing to date us because they’re not f*cking
strong enough to shoulder one hundredth of the
burden of stigma that every trans women carries every
moment of every day. I do want to shame men for
attacking their trans girlfriends because they couldn’t stand
being treated like a gay man for five minutes. That is pathetic. If you’re so worried about
proving you’re a man, why don’t you start by standing
up for the women you love, you chickenshit cowards. So look, what I’m asking for is so basic. Don’t call human beings traps. If you’re attracted to trans
women, don’t be ashamed of it. It’s okay, you can date
us, we’re more than just jack-off material. If you aren’t attracted to trans women, respect the people who are. If you do date a trans woman,
treat her like a princess because God knows she’s
been through enough shit. And finally protect trans
women of color at all costs. All I want here is basic human decency, is that really too much to ask? Well, this is the Internet, so yes. Yes it is. Goddamn it. – Well, that was long. I suppose the lesson is,
as Sigmund Freud once said, sometimes a cigar is just
a beautiful woman’s penis. (laughs) ♪ You must think that you’re so unique ♪ ♪ Trying to educate all the freaks ♪ ♪ Blissfully unaware of how cruel ♪ ♪ Heard default bigoted and plain rude ♪ ♪ All the things that you say ♪ ♪ Come up every day ♪ ♪ There is one thing ♪ ♪ That I cannot stand ♪ ♪ And it’s you, dear, head in the sand ♪ ♪ Its not really ignorance of mind ♪ ♪ Just the world full
of bigots that find us ♪ ♪ Existence ♪ ♪ Is resistance ♪ ♪ Existence ♪ ♪ Is resistance ♪ ♪ There is one thing that I cannot stand ♪ ♪ And it’s you, dear, head in the sand ♪ ♪ It’s not really ignorance of mind ♪ ♪ Just the world full
of bigots who find us ♪ ♪ Don’t let them define us ♪

100 thoughts on ““Are Traps Gay?” | ContraPoints

  1. Risky title I know. I really did my best to avoid making this video, but sometimes an idea nags you for month after month and you can't stop thinking about it, and when that happens it's sometimes best to trust your creative instinct and hope you aren't out of your mind. Of course sometimes you are out of your mind. And maybe I am. But that's not for me to say.

  2. One night about 15 years ago, I was talking to a very pretty blonde at a bar, and after a fair bit of flirtation I started to notice some masculine cues, so I tactfully asked if she was trans, and she said yes straight away then asked if this was a problem. I said that trans women were not my cup of tea, and she sheepishly started to gather her things and leave, probably fearing danger.
    I told her that the conversation was good, and that there was no need to stop, so we continued to chat over a few drinks then parted ways.
    No joke, to this day she is one of the most feminine and ladylike women I've met. If I had my current mind then, I might have tried a romantic pursuit. I don't think it matters that much anymore. I still think of myself as straight cause dudes certainly don't interest me, and I'm not a Tranny fetishist, but I think it's not an insurmountable obstacle if two people really hit it off. As long as they're happy I suppose.

  3. might just be me being confused but I always thought "Trap" refered to men that self identifies as men and dresses and acts as a woman to trick a man that would otherwise would not date them instead of refering to people who identifies as female or non binary

    it always confused me to refer to transitionning people as traps when they identify as what they try to present themselves as, you cant say "HAH! I got you to bed a man when you dont like men!" when you yourself dont identify as a man in the first place

    TLDR: I always thought Trap refered to people who present as something they dont identify as with the goal of having relations with people who are attracted to that identity and I dont understand why it is used to refer to people who present as what they identify as

  4. Great video Natalie! It's really great to see people out there in youtube helping to promote empathy and understanding of others. keep it up!

  5. This is why hetero and homo are dumb terms.

    We should have:
    sexual and romantic as terms.

    This way, it doesn't matter if you are trans. If you like feminine people/people who identify as females, you are gynosexual. If you like masculine/people who identify as male, you are Androsexual.
    If you don't care or don't really have a preference, you are probably pan IE you don't care about gender/presentation of sex and could like a masculine looking female who identifies as queer or agender or gender nonconforming etc etc.
    Bi is generally you like male and female, or have a preference for two.
    And A means you aren't really even interested in sex and sexual actions, but might be one of the aformentioned romantics, like bi, pan etc.

    If you are a trans from male to female, and always liked females, your sexuality doesn't change. You were always gynosexual. Conversely if you were female to male trans and always liked gyno presentation/genitalia you would "turn" hetero" but you were always gynosexual.

    The idea of hetero and homo also just reinforce the idea of binary and become very confusing if someone is trans or if someone is a hermaphrodite for instance.

    Most people also don't need to know or care about your sexuality minus your dating profile.
    Most people don't need to know the zillions of terms out there. Keeping it down to 5 terms is good because it's easy to swallow and it's the most people need to know on a regular basis. It also isn't helping the whole special snowflake phenomenon by having so many flags and expecting people not apart of the community who don't care to understand or get it. Many people even in the community don't know either and it gets confusing. It's fine to have a term that you feel fits you, just don't expect others to know if it's more specific than what genitalia is your jam/what presentation you prefer.
    Even things like demi or person/sexual aren't important because they still tend to lay under an umbrella of the former 5. You can be demi, but often find emotional connection that leads to relationships with andro persons for example.

    Keep it simple. Don't bombard either people in which have no bearing of these discussions in their life, or those who might be apart of the community, but stick to their own specific part of what applies to them.

  6. Gay for me means happy carefree I really don't like how has become used in this sexualized context. To me, a person is a person doesn't matter what sexual/religious/race they are they are a person and I treat people how I was bought up to respect for one's fellow man/woman it just doesn't matter who they are it's suited me well all these years. Still, wish that Gay wasn't what it means now but o well.

    So treat others as you would like to be treated the Bible states that not that I am religious in any way. Life is far to short to hide in fear of a word or a misconception.
    Be well, everyone. (:

  7. I seriously never knew this was this throughly discussed. I thought everyone knew the answer to this was “no stupid. Shut up”

  8. I'm amused by this video. I often wonder how all these gender issues are going to be addressed in the future Will be considered irrelevant? Are we approaching to an stable and humanizing view? But more important to me How future generations are going to see us? I know that I have none merit in this, but thank you so much, I'm so proud to be part of the generation which produced this amazing piece of philosophy, art, sociology, psychology and humour.

  9. This was a very well thought out discussion of this topic. I was brought here from Blaire White. As a straight white male, I used to be firmly in the camp that considered males who had the surgery as being eunuchs, not trans women. Blaire completely changed my mind. I’m so glad to discover your channel! You are an extremely articulate and thoughtful person who applies rational thought to complex issues. Like Blaire, you are an excellent spokeswoman for the trans community and a role model for everyone, regardless of their genitalia and sexual proclivities. You have another subscriber! Brava!

  10. I have friends who (are gay) apparently have had a number of sexual encounters with straight men. Like, I guess a BJ is a BJ. Idk, I don’t just want to have sex to have sex.

  11. so it's looking like i'm going to lead with this video when i come out to my parents
    i want to thank you for making such a thorough and persuasive video also funny enough for the shitposter's attention span
    saving lives, nat, you're saving lives <3

  12. Excuse me, Contra, I want my money back, you were supposed to turn me into a woke, gentle and understanding ally.

    I am a chaser now. If you'll excuse me, It's Bailey Jay hour…

  13. But if you fancy someone, you fancy someone. I dont see what the trap is?

    Maybe i've been isolated in my room for a decade too long but am I being stupid?

  14. As a cis lesbian, i feel sympathy for you that you feel rejected or feel any anxiety about us as a dating pool. In fact i find you incredibly attractive. Your genitalia is of no importance ( cough, not in a negative sense), your mind and taste in art and literature is what i find alluring. You would assume that through time and the sexual revolution we would of expanded our ideals about sexuality from the false dichotomy of black and white notions and see the multifaceted gray that is sexual desire .Also, your compassion towards others, incels, alt right homophobes,even teens, you attempt to bridge a divide in conversation. Your not pedantic, your use of humor and art and collective empathy is really touching. Your able to navigate complex subjects with wit, depth and a appeal to the common masses. You don’t use language as a barrier. your not condescending. This has brought many converts from the right or at the very least started a conversation. Sometimes the left can be so dogmatic, as some lesbians can be. It was your piece about feminism and BDSM that i found you. If you ever read this i highly recommend a french documentary called, “ Mutantes.” It’s mostly the pro-porn, pro prostitution, pro- transgressive art , pro-bdsm advocates of modern feminism. Also, love all the John Waters references. Is anything better that Polyester?? That film should be locked in the Smithsonian for safe keeping.

  15. I think the most relevant argument that you didn't use to make awareness about how this is actually coming though homofobia is the fact that this situation is not valid for trans men. Trans men were never called "traps".
    P.S. I love you, I love how clever you are, I love the way you talk, it's just so mindblowing.

  16. I watched this video because someone I know posted it. My response is that your whole point is predicated on respecting other people's feelings, and I don't really believe in that without reason. I don't care about your feelings, you have to tell me why it is beneficial to me to care.

  17. YES. If you like a trap, and you KNOW it's a trap, you are gay, period. Or, in animation form: https://youtu.be/kjX4WXV5RTE

  18. The phrase "fifteen years ago" and having that NOT refer to the 90s is fucking with me way too much oh god and I know that's not the point of this video but I legit leaned back and went "oof" at the thought.

  19. I don't think it's gay to date trans women. If you don't wanna date a trans women because you're not up to support someone through a hard transition, and even if you don't "see them as women" then just fucking leave them alone. Just leave them alone. Keep your mouth shut and just leave them alone.

  20. Damn, Contrapoints killed it again! If you read this by some accident or whatever, keep doing what you're doing! Straight men need to be called out for their bullshit of treating trans people (and to a lesser extent gay people like me) like they aren't people. You do it in a way that demonstrates empathy for the anxieties cishet people often have, while not sugarcoating how we want and deserve to be treated. Also, I love all the intersectional Marxist analyses you do in so many of your videos. 11 out of 10 for this video!

  21. Being homosexual means feeling sexual / affective attraction EXCLUSIVELY of the same sex. Homo (Greek) means EQUAL, so it eliminates the possibility of attraction to the opposite sex. People who defend pseudo fluid sexuality should study .

  22. Ahem…. trans women are being murdered. Yes it’s more trans women of color than white. But the point is that trans women are being fucking murdered. We need to stop focusing on skin color.

  23. I never understood why, as a drag queen, men would call out to me “Its a trap”. And now I do. And it’s very hurtful. I think the basic takeaway from this video is treat everyone like a human being and don’t put your nose in other peoples sexuality. Whether it be their gender, orientation or intimacy.

  24. “I don’t identify as gay except in some pan lgbt cultural sense, W E T H E GAYS”
    I felt that one
    Also you’ve very quickly become one of my favorite YouTubers, and I cannot believe I didn’t find your channel earlier than this.

  25. As a straight woman, I had a huge crush on a trans man (female to male)… until I found out I asked him out in front of his gf 😭😭

  26. Hey I like this video it has a lot of good points in it. But i would like to hear more defense for trans women that isn't just "well if they pass and present female it really isn't gay because they are preforming sweet femininity". I know you are trying to educate using that basic logic for people who might be educated. But before a trans women is completely transitioned (or doesn't want to) and a straight man hits on her does that mean he's gay then because she isn't passing? I don't think so I think it so. Overall a very good video I just wanted to point it out because it needs to be said.

  27. hi if i'm citing you for my annotated bibliography would you rather me reference you as contrapoints or natalie wynn, please let me know if you have a preference i would appreciate ur input to make sure i give u the respect u deserve xoxooxox

  28. I am straight and I couldn't care less if people think I'm gay because it isn't a degrading thing. It's even helpful: if you think gay is bad and hate me for it, then good! I don't like homophobes, stay away from me!

  29. I'm surprised by what you said about the female penis. The only dick I ever sucked was the one of a transwoman and it was anything but flacid. Maybe because I was so good at it?

  30. I started watching your videos today because a youtuber I like mentioned you in one of her videos and I already fell in love with your videos!!

  31. Interesting explanation, comes to show the difference inncultures… where i live the word trap(actually trapito, wich means little rag… but comes from trap)is used only if 2 things are met… First, the person has to identify as a male(or female ifbthe dress manly)… Second, they must be trying to look the oposite gender with the intention of making others believe they are thenoposite gender… Why they eonit doesnt matter… Is it for a prank? Is it for acting out a character? Doesnt matter… As long as they actually do those 2 things…

    NOW… It also means that trapitos would beatbthe shit out of a transphobe who think a transwoman is a trapito… And a trans woman would beat the crap out of someone who says a trapito is a trans woman… Because both take away value of gender identity…

    But cant say much about it… Everyone uses the n-word… Its a backward country run by fascists so much that even the most leftist and openminded people is 200 years behind…

  32. I think you made the video for the right reasons, my personal feelings is that if i whent home with someone only to find out they had a penis, i would compliment their surgent. I mean if your actually straight them it shouldnt be anything other than a dissapointment. Homofobia/transfobia is probably derived from hatefull thinking, probably because of insecurities. Its a damn shame people revert to voilence because they are uncomfortable or dissapointed. Its might be sexual insecurity. Honestly i know people who henuinly hate women because their personality makes people run away.

  33. I am so straight I pee sitting down, because I can't pee standing up without touching my dick, and I ain't touching no dick. That shit gay.

  34. I'd always taken this to question the sexuality of the "trap," not the men who fall for them.

    This question comes up with annoying frequency when I game with a headset. I've had other gamers say that, by "trap," they don't mean either a transwoman or a crossdresser, but "a guy who naturally looks very feminine such that he fools men into desiring him. To which I reply that doesn't exist because puberty… unless they are attracted to children. Leading the conversation to pedophilia often makes them uncomfortable enough to shut the fuck up and play

  35. Penis and testicles + vagina: heterosexual sex.
    Vagina + vagina: homosexual sex.
    Penis and testicles + penis and testicles: homosexual sex .

  36. How does anyone look at this solid effort to deep dive into one of the most controversial topics of our time and give that a dislike? Also it's a masterpiece, but at least give a thumbs up for sheer effort, you cowards.

  37. When I was a highly insecure college student, coming off a lot of bullying at high school, I was always afraid that there might be a trick with any woman into me. Very few were so something must be wrong if one was. Bullying taught me everything could be a trick. One "trick" is that woman secretly being a man. That was the garden my transphobia grew from.

    I'm glad I was able to let go of it.

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