Answering Your Questions About ME! | My past, love life, how I handle stress, coaching tips,

Answering Your Questions About ME! | My past, love life, how I handle stress, coaching tips,


hey guys welcome back so I’m gonna do a
very relaxed video let’s just be relaxed so most of the time you guys watch these
videos you see me on you know YouTube and you get these glimpses of me
professional coaching staff in my chair with my flowers and everything is great
but I think it’s important to also get to know a person and see that other side
of them right get to see like the real person not just the facade on social
media or on YouTube or anything like that and know that I have been where
most of you are right now and I think that’s really important you tend to feel
that connection with that person by having that type of relationship and one
of the things that I love about social media especially Instagram and if you
are not following me I will link it right over here is that you get to see
me day to day you know I try to share as much as I can about my world and things
that I’ve gone through and things that I do struggle with and I’m human and I
have the same feelings as all of you guys as well or have had them so I think
that that’s just really important so I get tons of questions all the time
personal questions asking me about like my life and how I got here and blah blah
blah so I’ve made one video before on this
and you can link it down below I think it’s called get to know me and I kind of
go into like a little bit of the questions that you guys have asked but I
asked on YouTube and Instagram or you know what do you guys want to know more
about me and you came up with these questions so let’s get into him why
aren’t you on Facebook so I am on Facebook I will link all of my social
media right here we will go Facebook and Pinterest and Twitter and Instagram so
you can follow me all there if you want um let’s see do I have a partner I am in
a relationship yes I am I was single for four years before I got into this
relationship but I am with someone currently how did you get your start as
a life coach do you have any pets I don’t have any pets now but I had a
little puppy named peanut and I had to give her away actually when I got
divorced because it was too much having the dog and having pretty much like a
nine month old baby so I found a
home for her and she is doing very very well but I will be getting a dog soon so
I just don’t know what breed yet or actually I don’t really even do breeders
I usually just adopt but I will be getting a dog soon because I miss it how
did you get started as a life coach I’ve kind of went into this before but
basically I felt my whole life that I was either a therapist or I’ve been
coaching my whole life so a lot of what I do right now I’ve actually always done
for family and friends or people have always even just strangers I’ve always
felt very comfortable to talk to me and it wasn’t until after I went through my
divorce and I was working for a skin care company in administration because I
was in administration for years someone told me you would be a really great
therapist and I said you know I don’t think I’m too empathetic that I can’t
sit there and listen to just people venting and everything that they’re
going through all day long I think would be really really draining but I had done
life coaching before and I said you know what though I think I could really do
coaching and it wasn’t until I was in court one day for something with my
ex-husband and I’m sitting there and this woman’s getting divorced
and she was devastated and I remember looking at her and I just started
talking to her and I really just helped motivate her in that moment because you
could tell that she really lost herself in that relationship and I remember her
after she was getting divorced that day and I was sitting in the courtroom and
she stood up with her ex-husband or her soon-to-be ex-husband and they got
divorced and as she walked out of the courtroom she turned and looked at me
and she went and so she thanked me for whatever it is that I said to her or
gave her in that moment it really helped her and I and I think in that moment I
knew I was like wow I could really do this and I could really help people and
that was it I started writing blogs and I started kind of getting comfortable
with sharing my story I think that’s the first thing that you have to do and then
it just kind of evolved from there so that’s why I got started do you have a
routine I love this question do you have a routine that helps you stay positive
so I am I’m a human being so I allow myself to feel so I’m not a
cheerleader that you thinks that every day is gonna be
sunshine and roses that’s not how I live my life and I don’t think that’s healthy
or even authentic because if something’s going on in your life and you’re feeling
frustrated or upset or sad you need to feel it like that’s part of the human
experience is to feel your feelings where I think people get stuck is they
either don’t allow themselves to feel which is completely unhealthy or they
feel and they say stuck in those spaces so that is between those two places what
I teach is right in the middle which is allowing yourself to feel and learning
how to move through what you’re feeling so when I’m going through stuff what
helps me to stay positive and in a good frame of mind is I have my list of
things that work for me and I think that everyone has to try and find your a list
of things that work for you so one of the things that I always do when I am
going through something where I’m stressed is I ask myself what do I need
and each search each time it’s gonna be different so there are gonna be some
times where I’m gonna say all right stuff what do you need right now you’re
going through this you’re feeling stressed what it is that what what do
you need and what might come up is I need physical exercise what might come
up is I need to go eat better what comes up is I need to go listen to something I
need to listen to music I need to go for a drive and belt out some Beyonce like I
very much am in tune with always asking myself what do I need in every moment to
help me get into a different frame of mind I’m constantly listening to good
stuff I don’t really ever allow myself to engage in things that are too toxic
so I don’t watch the news I think I know what’s going on ish in the world but I
don’t need to watch terrible things every single day all day that’s not how
I’m built so I’m always listening to people motivational speakers I’m always
like I said exercising being outside giving basically feeding my soul so you
have to know who you are and you have to know what feeds your soul and you have
to be able to give yourself that so I think for me definitely listening to
motivational speakers and listening to good stuff
hands down bottom that a hundred percent can change my mood in an instance so I
hope that that helps you so the next question is can you tell can you please
tell us how you met your ex and your now partner is your ex involved in your
son’s care what made you leave the relationship also can you do a video on
what a typical day is for you so I actually I’m gonna start doing some
vlogging and if I was really gonna do vlogging and do it for social media so I
was gonna put it on my Instagram and do like my IG TV thing so you guys can see
like day-to-day what my life is like if you guys are interested and seeing some
vlogs for me then please comment down below and let me know that way I will
post them on the channel but otherwise I will only be posting them on social
media on Instagram so it’s a lot of questions here so basically I met my
ex-husband at a company that I was working for he was working at the same
company as me he is four years younger than me I met my now partner on a dating
app which I always said I would never meet someone on a dating app and I did
so be careful what you wish for because it’ll come true my ex is very much
involved in my son’s life what made you leave that relationship I did not leave
that relationship he did he asked me a month after I had my son that he wanted
a divorce I later found out that he actually had an affair while I was
pregnant and is now married to the woman so that’s tough one to go through also
can you do a video on your typical day so yes let me know guys if you want to
see some vlogs from me are there any personal development books you would
recommend for healing forgiveness etc I gotta be honest I I’m not a huge reader
I never have been I’m a very visual person I I need audio audio is my thing
but if you are a reader um I mean I thought when I was going through my
stuff I listened to Lisa Ramona and I know that she has written a ton of books
on like codependency and healing and things of that sort I think one of her
books is like the road back to me I think that that’s a great
place to start so I would definitely recommend that so in terms of authors
I’d honestly I think that a lot of you know definitely check out Oprah’s
channel because she interviews a lot of people Eckhart Tolle I mean it depends
on the level that you’re at a neck are totally might be a little too deep but
if you’re just starting to like awaken and you’re just starting to go through
this journey starting out with some of like the basic information might be more
helpful but I always check out Oprah because a lot of people that she
interviews are authors as well and honestly I really believe that no matter
what you listen to what you read you will get a take away from it so even if
the title you feel like mmm that doesn’t really pertain to me especially with
videos you know I would just watch everything I possibly could I would
listen to anything I possibly could and I always got a take away from it so it
doesn’t really matter what you read and everyone’s different some people might
think wow this author was absolutely amazing and someone else would be like
you know what I didn’t really jive with that so I would just say as long as
you’re choosing anything to read or watch or listen to you are helping
yourself heal and grow how old were you when you started to self-love how long
did it take to fully self-love yourself um so basically I don’t you know I
started really focusing on this stuff after I came out of my divorce because I
realized wow I was codependent wow I didn’t really love myself wow I let
someone Gaslight me I let someone tell me who I was um and I always thought I
was a confident person but I realized that the confidence that I thought I had
when I was younger was really just a mask of insecurity um and so it was
important for me to learn how to speak to myself that’s huge I mean that’s the
basis of happiness is what you’re saying to yourself all day long the thoughts
that you think that creates your happiness right there so how long did it
take me to fully love myself I don’t think you ever get to a point where
you’re like all right check we’re done like I have fully loved myself I think
that it just herbs and flows so I definitely have moments where I am
negative self-talk that comes in and it’s how I
handle that I don’t engage with it like I used to I
don’t you know sit in it and play the tape over and over again that very very
very rarely happens in my life anymore so I think that’s where you know you’re
getting to a healthy place because there is no end result when it comes to
self-development what I always tell people is this is a practice you’re
gonna do for the rest of your life it’s just like getting up and taking a shower
and eating food you have learned how to take care of yourself whether it’s on a
high level or a very minimal low level where I shower once a week but and this
is no different so the more you do things that are good for you and healthy
for you the better you will feel so a lot of people had questions for me about
my previous marriage and that relationship and definitely go watch
that get to know me video and I think I just went in briefly in this video a
little bit about that but I actually didn’t know anything I didn’t realize
when I was in that relationship what that relationship was I didn’t really
see it until after the fact where I kind of and I took responsibility is for
whatever that person did to me I owned that I on some level played a part
because I allowed it I allowed someone to tell me who I was I allowed someone
to Gaslight B I allowed someone to manipulate me so and you know and at the
end of the day I think that you have to know exactly who you are and you have to
be healthy yourself and I wanted to attract a healthy loving faithful loyal
amazing partner that was my goal and I knew that I had to be that for myself
that I knew that I had to heal that codependency and that even if I never
found anyone that I would enjoy my life and that I would have the best life and
live the best life because every day is a blessing and I for some reason I think
that when I kind of came to those fir oceans that I really started
authentically being happy and living in the moment
and felt so light rather than like so heavy and dense that I had felt in that
previous relationship so I really really love this question and to be honest I
actually did a video on this because it happened so so often someone asked me
have you experienced after your experience did you start labeling
everyone a narcissist how did you stop it’s you know when you do this work and
you start learning about all these types of mental illnesses it’s easy for you to
all of a sudden say oh this person’s a narcissist yep this person is a
narcissist and it’s not black and white it’s a very gray disorder so yes there
are all these traits and if you have nine of the bla-bla-bla traits then you
are classified as someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder but to
be frank it really doesn’t even matter it doesn’t matter who is a narcissist
who’s codependent who’s it like it just doesn’t matter what matters is that if
you recognize unhealthy behavior period you could have an aunt who she’s not
narcissistic but maybe she’s a conversational narcissist
maybe you could have a friend who you don’t think is a full-blown narcissist
but sometimes really lacks empathy so it just doesn’t even matter but I a hundred
percent went through a phase I remember even just watching Sex in the City and
looking at Carrie Bradshaw and being like God she was codependent and I
actually was like turned off from the show for like so long or even when I
would watch these like Lifetime movie you know movies I just really opened my
eyes to the fact that there that we create a lot of this fantasy about what
relationships should look like from the things that we watch on TV so I mean I’m
sure most of you are now doing the same thing that you are learning about the
stuff where you’re like wow my mom actually is really narcissistic and you
know what my dad is emotionally unavailable like so I think it’s all
good stuff but I do think that at the end of the day it doesn’t even matter if
someone is a narcissist or isn’t it just matters on whether or not you want to
have a relationship with that person whether that person is healthy for you
this person funny they said give us some good stuff
what do you do for fun what are some of your goals and aspirations in life you
go out you go out of your way for all of us excuse me you go out of your way for
all of us time for you to blow some steam and let
us listen to you I love that so you know okay so what do I do for fun so I am an
outdoor person I am a very active person so I always like to be doing something
so I’m constantly planning trips I’m constantly planning let’s go to this
concert let’s go to the show let’s go camping let’s take the kids to an
amusement park let’s you know redo the house let’s go buy some new furniture
like I love change I’d love to always be doing new things um let’s go for a bike
ride let’s go to the beach today so I’m definitely an active person and that
sometimes I can’t keep still actually when I relax I relax but for
the most part I like keeping busy it helps me to sleep better at night
actually because I have an active brain um or an active mine so what do I do for
fun really that’s what’s fun to me is just being active and it doesn’t really
matter what I’m doing I love love love being with my son I also love love love
working and being alone in doing it I very much like my alone time as well so
when he goes with his dad if I’m not doing something with my boyfriend of the
person I’m in a relationship with or doing something with friends I have I’ve
learned to enjoy being alone and doing things by myself or as before I might
have struggled with that so that I think is something that is really important so
what are some of my goals and aspirations I honestly my goal is to
just continue to raise an amazing little boy to enjoy life and to grow this
business so I am going to be rolling out some coaching programs for you guys like
six-week stuff that you can do online if you can’t afford private coaching or you
cannot do private coaching so I definitely want to just keep growing
this business I eventually want to do public speaking as well so that’s kind
of an aspiration for me even though the
thought of doing it this scares me because I don’t even like doing lives
you guys like the thought of me talking to you guys and you can hear me and
there’s really no like interaction interaction it scares the crap out of me
but I know it’s something that I really want to do and they always say do the
stuff that scares you the most so there you go how do I blow off steam
honestly I need to work out I don’t work out like see this this I don’t work out
for life isn’t actually help my body although I should probably see some
progress um I am hiring a personal trainer for
the next six months so I’m going to actually start getting a little ripped
but I need to release stress and all of that stuff I think it’s really unhealthy
to not do anything that’s physical mmm and I don’t mean be a gym rat and do
CrossFit and crazy and lift a tire and like you know go vegan and do all these
extreme things I think it’s just about keeping yourself fit and happy and for
me getting a good sweat no matter what I’m doing going for a walk in humidity
or going to the gym I need that for myself so this person asked have you got
any fun dating stories so when I was single I was thinking for four years I
obviously went on many dates um I didn’t go on to too many I think I just you
know I’d go through phases where I was like into it and then where I just
wanted to be myself I really went through a lot of years where I just
wanted to be alone and I didn’t want to be in a relationship but I went out on
dates because I it was a single mother and I was like you know what it’s an
opportunity to go out and have a good time I didn’t put any pressure on the
situation and if something came a bit great and if not that was okay too so
for me a lot of the funny stories came from people that were just very
uncomfortable being around me I always felt I can always read energy and I
think that when I would sit down and talk to someone and I could just tell
how maybe uncomfortable they were or nervous they were or shy they were like
to me those were not the funny stories but the ones where part of me just
wanted to say I’m human just like you and like
okay but um I’ve had people literally say nothing say nothing across from the
table just sit there and I’ve only done two when I was doing like online dating
and all that stuff I I would never do dinner dates because I thought I was
sitting across from a total stranger for 45 minutes just didn’t seem fun
it just seemed more fun to maybe have a quick drink and see if this is like
flowing so I remember sitting down across from the table with one person
and when I tell you said nothing said nothing and I would start conversations
and it was like one-word answers and it was just again it was just it was funny
just because I didn’t know if he was nervous or if he just wasn’t into it it
could have been a little bit of both but I always found those situations I am
amusing but that’s my funny stories what is your go-to karaoke song oh my god um
I love Whitney Houston I want to dance with somebody that’s probably like my
go-to song but any kind of like you know bossed any song like that you could just
try to think like really what would be a go to karaoke honestly I really think
that Whitney Houston so I’m gonna go with that so guys thank you so much for
watching this week’s video I hope that you got to know a little bit more about
me and if you have any more questions please you can link them down below and
I will see you next week

22 thoughts on “Answering Your Questions About ME! | My past, love life, how I handle stress, coaching tips,

  1. Stephanie thank you for a great video again! I enjoyed watching it very much. Could you please do some dating advides? Or dos and donts on a date. Gereets, Hanna

  2. I really enjoyed you sharing how you cope with life it even made be reflect about enjoying my life everyday and seeing that at the fore front of my life.

  3. This was so enjoyable to watch lol. I have so much in common with you. I'm also highly empathetic and can read energies, don't like my house to be the same for too long, have a hard time sitting still, have a busy mind. Thank you for your courage to do this work. ❤

  4. Oh gosh Stefanie, of course those poor dates u had they said nothing😂…you’re so dang gorgeous they didn’t have a chance and were dumbstruck… I feel kinda bad for them. Oh dear that story made me laugh as I thought about it, how hard that must of been for you and how confused you must have been !! Those poor guys were just overcome with your beauty💖… thanks for sharing😂

  5. Got videos have been so helpful in my life this year, always know that you have helped so many people with your work 💛

  6. Some people say that women age like fine French wine… That's actually NOT true – most of the time. Most women get used up and become empty wine bottles as they get older.

    But you are both smart and beautiful as you have truly aged just like fine French wine… Your teachings are so helpful and relatable! This is a very, very helpful video!

    By you being so open and real with your life, I don't feel so terrible about my own life anymore… People do stupid shit in life… Esp. if nobody taught them any better… And esp. when they are surrounded by abusive people who lie to them every single day in order to keep them down and under control in life.

    Thanks!

  7. Once you truly realise that absolutely everyone is a human just like you and really get that, that’s when shyness goes away.

  8. Thanks for sharing your story! I’ve gone through what you did with your ex husband and it helped me understand that it’s not just me. I appreciate your videos 💕

  9. Have learnt a lot from your videos. Have experienced new things in my life like going for sports, music and theatre events and enjoying the experience. Could you help me how to write blogs as I am writing a book myself

  10. love this!!!!
    can you PLEASEEE do a video about healing from a relationship with an alcoholic/narcissist??? there is minimal info/support on this and as someone currently dealing with this it would be so awesome hearing your point of view on this topic.

    I love your channel – you have helped me soooo much!!! Love your simplicity and the way you explain everything with such ease. Would soooo love to meet you in person!!!!!

  11. Your so genuine and I wish you the best in life , doing my best to soak up the knowledge from your videos so I can be in a good place also 🙏🏽

  12. Also I’ve been watching your videos for a very long time and I learned a lot and really understand a lot of toxic behaviour now. It’s been SO helpful and I also like you. You are just a very comforting sweet person that I think anyone would want to be friends with.

  13. My biggest take away from this was that your divorce was your turning point. He broke you down and instead of staying down you chose to lift yourself back up and rise higher than you could have ever been with him. Your new mate is very lucky. You're now strong, confident and successful. I just hope that the woman that I'm currently interested in will get to this point. She's been through hell and back and I want her to know that I'll never do any of the things that the demon did to her.

  14. I feel no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissist they are terrible people that feel entitled thank God for my friend who referred me to an hacker and i was able to hack my narcissist partner and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned contact Mike to help he is a genius contact him on instagram @mikeswilfred or text/whats-app +15182175945

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